


There Is No Redemption Here

by the-bi-writer (ineedapenname)



Series: The Redemption Verse [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Even A Little, F/M, Finn/Rey endgame, Finn/Rey slow burn, Han Solo - Freeform, Kidnapping, Killing, Kylo Ren - Freeform, Mind Games, Poe Dameron - Freeform, R-rated probably, Rey and Kylo are siblings, Sexual Content, Smut, Torture, alternating Finn and Rey POV, at all, but lots of plot and drama first, but this is fairly anti-him, he's not going to be redeemed, is a major character, just FYI, just little Kylo Ren things, minor characters include: Leia Organa, on the subject of Kylo Ren: tw for semi-graphic violence, other things include, so I took him out of the main character tags, some Kylo POV, sweetness at the end, there is no demon shipping here, wildly enthusiastic consent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2018-10-20 15:30:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 31
Words: 95,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10665558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ineedapenname/pseuds/the-bi-writer
Summary: One year before TFA, Kylo Ren discovers his long-lost sister Rey, and brings her to Starkiller to learn the ways of the Force.Meanwhile, FN-2187, a promising young soldier, has already begun questioning the First Order when a young woman crosses his path in an unexpected way.Together, they hurdle toward the day when the best pilot in the Resistance will land on Jakku in search of a map, and everything they know will change.(Unredeemed Kylo; Finn/Rey endgame; no other ships.)Beta'd byclassic-visionandconn8d-COMPLETE-





	1. Reunion

**Author's Note:**

> Hey friends! This is already covered in the tags, but just so you know what you're in for: this is a multi-chapter plot-centric work, focused mainly on Finn and Rey (individually at first, and eventually together.)
> 
> Rey is an Organa-Solo, so she and Kylo are siblings. There is no demon ship here.
> 
> There is some Kylo POV, but just to be clear, he's going to die unredeemed. And yes, I'm going to be viciously, unapologetically happy about that. (Fan fiction is a wish-fulfillment genre, you say? Yes. Yes it is.)
> 
> Finn/Rey is OTP and endgame. Welcome aboard!

The sandstorm's unending. It's been three and a half days by Rey's count, but with thick clouds of sand blocking out sun and sky, it's hard to keep track of things like time.

Before the storm, she’d been on her way home, happy with the day’s haul. Then she saw the sand clouds on the horizon, rolling toward her at record speed. She’d rushed back into the fallen Imperial ship she’d been scavenging for days, checked her pouch for food or rations (she had none) and resigned herself to wait it out.

That was days ago. Now Rey curls into herself, cold to the bone and weak with exhaustion. Her teeth begin to chatter in earnest, and she has the horrible thought that she might freeze to death before she gets the chance to starve. She looks around, her sluggish brain searching for options.

She spends a minute - or an hour, for what was time in here? - staring blankly before she remembers a tiny alcove far above, a place she often uses for rest during her long, soaring climbs. It's small and snug, and it's her best chance at the moment for keeping warm.

She drags herself to her feet and begins to climb with shaking limbs. She knows it isn't safe, knows it isn't a good idea, but what choice does she have?

She looks down, steels her resolve, and presses on. She misses her next handhold and hurdles down, her body screaming and mind reeling. Her hands, trained by years of practice, scramble for another hold and find one, her wrists groaning under her body’s weight. She slams against the wall, cold metal tearing into her shins.

She gasps in pain, then gasps for breath. She curses herself for being so foolish, for making such a simple mistake as missing a hold. But her brain's dehydrated and her body's weak, and in her quiet, honest thoughts, she knows it didn't matter if she falls. She'll die of thirst soon if the cold doesn't get her, so all she's doing at this point is choosing how to spend her last minutes of her life.

Rey of Jakku doesn't believe in the Force, but in that raw moment, she prays. Without meaning to or realizing it, her soul screams out for comfort. For safety. For food and rest.

Then she climbs on, determined to find that alcove, to take comfort in a cozy nook and warm her cold body, to maybe find hope after all.

Her hands are steady again as she climbs, testing and checking each grip as she goes. Two feet from the top, so close to victory, she steps false again. Her rusted foothold gives out without warning and then she's falling, falling, into the cold, vicious dark.

*

Rey awakes to softness and warmth. She's immersed in thick liquid that soothes her skin and whisperes comfort to her broken body. It even seems to chase the cold out of her thoughts.

She's no longer a girl, she thinks, but an ethereal creature, lost in the void. She feels strangely okay with that as she drifts back into easy sleep.

*

Kylo Ren watches the desert girl from across the med bay. She had stirred in the bacta tank briefly, but he had used a gentle push from the Force to ease her back down into peaceful rest.

She's delirious, he knows, malnourished and dehydrated past the point of survival for any normal human being. The girl isn't a normal human though. She has the Force flowing through her, and the blood of Darth Vader singing in her veins.

Once the girl has stilled and succumbed again to sleep, Kylo Ren approaches the tank. They're alone in the medbay, which feels only appropriate, Kylo thinks. He’s worked years for this moment and it belongs to him, and him alone.

His helmet's off and his hands are bare as he touches the case, gently, as if in awe.

“Hello, little sister.”

*

FN-2187 had just finished his last training sim for the day, passing with top marks as usual. His captain, ever watchful, had deemed his performance “adequate,” which, coming from Phasma, was the highest of praise.

Now he hums happily as he heads for the training refreshers, eager to clean up and get started with his next task. Keeping his hands busy is the best way to keep his mind from dangerous questions he's not yet willing to let himself ask, even in the quietest corners of his own mind.

He washes and dresses in record time, and is about to resume rounds when a comm sounds in his helmet speakers.

“Dr. Noble here, requesting FN-2187 in Medbay R7. Immediately.”

The recorded message plays twice and then disappears. FN-2187, eyes bright with curiosity, does exactly as he's told.

*

The medbay is bright white and pristine. FN-2187's used to the sight of it by now, having spent the last few months studying field medicine here, but the smell still gets to him. It's a combination of something artificially sweet - orchids, maybe? - combined with the sharp tang of bacta that never goes away.

As his squad's unit leader, FN-2187 was assigned basic medical training under Doctor Noble, and he's discovered he has a knack for it. The doctor must think so too, because she's made a habit of calling him in to assist with minor procedures, talking him through each step, offering the tiniest bit of praise each time he gets a step right.

So when he's called to medbay today, he's intrigued, wondering what procedure he might assist with. So far he'd treated blaster wounds, lightsaber burns (usually inflicted by Kylo Ren), battle infections, and more. He marches briskly into the medbay, rounds the corner, and stops dead in his tracks.

A girl - no more than 18 - is unconscious on a stark table, and she's tiny. He's never seen someone so underfed before; she looks like she'd fly away in a brisk wind.

FN-2187 enters the room and looks quickly to the doctor for explanation.

“This young lady is the guest of Commander Ren,” Doctor Noble explains. “She was brought in suffering from severe dehydration and heat sickness. Her core temperature was normalized via bacta treatment, and she's being fed and hydrated via IV-tap.”

The soldier's curious gaze traces the thin tubes running into the girl’s arms, then skips to the graph of her steady heartbeat on the monitors above. He snapps to attention when the doctor addresses him again.

“As you can see, she’s stabilized for the moment, but far from well. What would you recommend as our next course of action?”

FN-2187 takes a moment to consider. He enjoys these challenges the doctor gives him; she tells him about a patient and their symptoms, then asks him what he thinks they should do. After he responds, she'll explain why he's right, or wrong. If he's right, he'll get to help with that part of the procedure. FN-2187 loves the mental challenge of it all.

He picks up the girl’s medchart, thumbing through the recent notes. When he notices she'd been living near a trading post on Jakku, something niggles at his mind. Hadn't he learned last week that the water on desert planets often held bacteria that damaged the intestines over time?

“I think,” he say slowly, tapping his finger as he concentrates, “that since she's out of immediate danger, we should investigate the cause of her malnourished state. She likely didn't have access to sufficient nutrition on an outer rim planet like Jakku, but we should also rule out Leena mites and common bacterial infections.”

He continues scanning the chart, and something else jumps out to him. “She was found in an old ship yard, with deep gashes in her limbs?” His eyebrows shoot up. “I'd recommend a tetanus med-shot immediately, if she hasn’t already received one. As well as the standard immunizations all personnel receive for the environment of this particular base.”

Doctor Noble gives him a sharp nod and a brief - but genuine - smile. “Good eye, soldier. My recommendations exactly.” She steps aside, and behind her FN-2187 sees a surgical table with blood vials in neat lines, waiting to be filled.

“I've given her the tetanus med-shot myself, as that was time sensitive, but your insights about bacterial testing are spot on. I'd like to run some basic liver and kidney function tests as well, for good measure. Would you like to do the blood draws?”

FN-2187 smiles, though he knew the doctor can't see through his standard issue helmet. “Thank you, doctor. I'll get started right away.”

FN-2187 marches briskly to the wash station in the adjoining hallway, where he trades his combat helmet for a standard issue field medic helmet instead. It still covers his head, eyes and face, but allows for more movement and better visibility. Even while treating patients, he still isn't allowed to show his face.

He' sanitizing his hands and applying medi gloves when he hears the loud chime that signals a medical emergency in a different wing.

He hears Doctor Noble swear smoothly and efficiently, and quickly turns to face her.

“FN-2187,” she say, all traces of her former softness gone. “Remain here while I answer the emergency call. Get the blood samples if you can, but your primary job is to keep the girl here, and safe. Kylo Ren will have both our heads if we lose her.”

FN-2187’s eyebrows shoot up in alarm, but he stands at attention at once. “Yes, Doctor.”

With that, the doctor's off, her white coat fluttering behind her like a cape.

FN-2187 finishes sanitizing himself, then turns back to the room and swears. The starving girl, personal guest of Commander Ren himself, is gone.


	2. The Scavenger and the Stormtrooper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter update for Finnrey Fridays! Have some medbay hurt/comfort, featuring a gentle Finn and a very scared Rey. (Content note: non-graphic mentions of needles and blood.)

Rey wakes in panic. Her memories come back all at once: hot, cold, hunger, pain. She thinks she may have dreamed of safety, but that feeling is long gone.

She’s in a room she doesn’t recognize, and sirens are tearing through her skull. There are colorful tubes running into her arms, connected to beeping machines above her. She gasps, frightened by the sight, then forces herself to lie still and silent, trying to think of a plan.

She cracks an eye open and sees a doctor saying something to a soldier, sees the shoulder stand rod straight in response. The doctor leaves, and the soldier turns his back, and Rey sees her chance to run.

She grabs the tubes running into her right hand and pulls, gasping as a needle rips from her skin, leaving an ugly gash on the top of her hand. It doesn't look great - it's bleeding more than a little bit - but at least she's free of whatever they were trying to do to her.

That done, she takes stock of her options for weapons. There are some strange looking tubes on a table beside her along with - she shudders - more needles like the one she just pulled from her skin. _Well that settles it_ , she thinks. _I'm getting out of here before they can do_ that _to me again._

She knows the soldier must be returning soon, so she looks around again, growing more desperate by the second. She seizes a metal tray from a bedside table, scattering needles and vials over the floor.

She grasps the tray and a single syringe, and makes it to the wall near the alcove, when she hears the soldier returning. She takes a deep, steadying breath, trying to concentrate through the fog in her brain. This is her chance to escape, and she knows she might not get another.

As soon as as the soldier steps into view, she slams the tray into his stomach, hard. He gives a surprised, “Oof” and doubles over, just as she’d hoped. She stabs him in the neck with the syringe, in the bare inch exposed between his armor and helmet, then pulls it out as she flees.

The trooper curses and stumbles, reaching for his stomach and neck, but Rey's already halfway to the door.

Her heart soars for one second at her nearness to freedom, and then plummets back down as her hand tries the handle. Her only route to freedom is locked.

*

FN-2187 curses as he goes down. He regains his footing in time to see the girl already across the room, beating on the door in a futile attempt to escape.

She turns back to him, eyes wild with with panic and then - fury.

“Who. Are. You,” she says, voice low and dangerous, “and what gives you the right to keep me here?”

He immediately recoils, prepared for her anger, but unprepared for her fear. The tactical part of his brain is feeding him objectives, as clear and concise as Phasma’s commands. “Secure the prisoner,” his brain says, in a precise imitation of his commanding officer’s tone, “Neutralize and restrain her at once.”

He moves to follow, but as he steps forward and she shrinks back, something inside him stops. Stirs. Awakes.

He blinks, and his vision seems to come into new, sharp focus. Where before he had seen a patient escaping, one he was tasked with keeping in place, he now sees the girl for what she is: cold, alone, and entirely terrified.

FN-2187 pushes Phasma’s voice from his head and imagines what Doctor Noble would say instead. “Gain the patient’s trust,” he imagines her saying. “Always start there.”

He hesitates only a second before backing away again, his hands held out in a gesture of peace. “I’m here to help,” he says, and then grimaces as his first words to this scared girl come out through the modulated voice of his helmet. “Everything will be fine.”

“Like hell it will,” the girl spits, and there’s venom in her voice. Ferocity in her fear. “Let me out of here. Now.”

“You’re not well,” he says, trying to sound reasonable. He wants to give her a reassuring smile, wants her to hear the natural cadence of his voice so she can hear the genuine intent behind his words. But between them is 10 feet of space and, more damningly, his helmet.

FN-2187 allows himself a full breath to consider his options. He can keep trying to talk her down, which only seems to be increasing her panic, or - and he can’t believe he’s even considering this, for a stranger, no less - he could remove his helmet and risk reconditioning.

One more glance at the girl’s terrified eyes makes the decision for him. For the first time in his life, he takes off his helmet while on duty.

Her eyes widen as she meets his, and he can only hope that she sees his sincerity. As a good soldier following orders, he needs to keep her here. As a person who values his own life, he needs to keep the personal guest of Commander Ren safe. But as their eyes meet something new stirs in him too - he _wants_ to keep her safe. He wants to protect her.

The same instinct that drives him to go back for Slip every time he falls takes over, and all at once he knows that he will not restrain this girl, even though protocol dictates she be sedated at once, so as not to reinjure her clearly damaged limbs. No. He will not use any sort of force.

He holds her gaze, eyes steady, and her face softens. “I can help you,” he says, his unmodulated voice a rare treat in his own ears. “But you have to let me. Deal?”

He can see that she’s shaking - probably from cold as much as fear - and his heart suddenly squeezes.

“What happened to me?” she whispers.

“You fell,” he says plainly. “I think. I wasn’t here when you were brought in, but your injuries suggest a long fall.”

He needs to get her back to bed, he knows, and fast. She’s weak and malnourished, and her face is turning an alarming shade of grey. Her left leg is so badly injured that he’s honestly surprised she was able to walk on it at all, and chalks that up to adrenaline.

“I just want to help you,” he repeats, and takes a careful step toward her. She shrinks back so he stops again, hands still out, eyes still soft. She’s huddled in the corner now, arms curled tightly against her own shaking frame. Her glare is still defiant, though.

He crouches down to eye level and puts every ounce of sincerity into his next word. “Please.”

She holds his gaze, searches his face. He doesn’t know what’s she’s seeing, but she softens and gives him the tiniest nod.

She tries to stand but her bad leg gives out and she stumbles, pitching forward. He's across the room at once, catching her in gentle hands. She moans in pain but melts into him, giving him her weight. Trusting him.

He looks down and sees that every last bit of fight has gone out of her now. Now she just looks tired. Defeated. Deflated.

She doesn’t struggle as he hooks a strong arm behind her knees and picks her up in one fluid gesture. She hisses in pain - he knows he’s hit her bad leg, but he can’t help that right now - so he murmurs soothing words against her hair, where it tickles the bare skin of his face. _I’ve got you now. You’re okay. It’s going to be okay._

It’s a heady feeling.

He brings her gently back to the bed and surveys the damage. She’s pale, still shaking - shock, maybe? - blood oozing slowly from her right hand where she pulled the IV out.

He covers her with warm blankets and resets the bedside table, lining it with fresh supplies. He makes quick work of bandaging her injured hand, then runs a gloved hand over her mangled left shin, examining the damage there.

She flinches at his touch.

“I can give you something for the pain,” he says softly, “but I need to put in a fresh IV-tap. Are you going to stab me again if I do that?”  

She lets out a short, surprised laugh, and then shudders, looking over at the needles apprehensively.  

“It only pinches for a second,” FN-2187 soothes, though he knows that’s not what she’s worried about. If it were him, waking up in a strange place, he would have been terrified that strangers were inserting who-knows-what into his body. So he decides to talk her through it.

“It’s just some nutrients and hydration to help your body heal,” he says, “and some painkillers to help you sleep.”

She nods once, and reaches out a shaking hand for his. His own hand is gloved, of course, but she reaches up over the med-gloves, her fingers finding a scant inch of bare skin between the top of his gloves and the start of his uniform. Her fingers graze his skin for the briefest of moments, and he shudders at the ghost of her touch.

The world around him, which has felt sharper and wilder and more _alive_ since they first met eyes, sharpens a tiny bit more. _Who is this girl?_ he wonders. But he won’t bother her with questions like that, now that her shoulders are slumping in relief, now that her face is relaxing into something like trust.

He turns his back to her, uncertain of how to handle the new emotions coursing through him. He busies himself prepping the IV site and loses himself in the familiar rhythm of it. He’s done this a hundred times.

He hears her sigh once the line is in place and the painkillers flood her system again. Her eyes start to droop, and he turns away, reaching for his med-helmet. She reaches out, grabs his hand, finds that scant inch of skin again. “Don’t go,” she whispers.

“I’m not going anywhere. I do need to put my helmet back on, though. Please don’t tell anyone you saw me without it.”

“You got it, handsome,” she says, a goofy grin spreading across her face. The painkillers must be kicking in, FN-2187 thinks with relief. He can see her body relaxing, bit by bit, though she stays awake.

He replaces his helmet and reaches for the datapad that contains her medchart. He makes quick work of recording the last few minutes - leaving out a few salient details - and is about to set it down when he hears her voice, sleepy and faded now. “Will you read to me?"

He’s confused for a second before he looks down at the datapad he’s still holding “Of course. Although it might not be too entertaining. I doubt there are any holonovels in here.”

“Tha’s okay,” she says, her words softly slurring. “I just like your voice.”

His heart melts, just a little.

He closes her medchart and flips through the rest of the datapad, looking for something to read aloud. As expected, he finds several medical texts, and not much more. “Alright,” he says. “Would you prefer, ‘New Standard Procedures for Blood Draws,’ or ‘Bacta for Beginners’?”

She gives a tired smile and says, “You pick.”  

So he does. Helmet firmly back in place, FN-2187 blocks out all memories of her skin on his, and begins to read aloud.

*

Outside the medbay, a silent hooded figure looks on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think of the way they meet? Any guesses as to who the hooded figure might be? 
> 
> Comments keep me warm at night. Thanks for reading, and I'll see ya'll next Finnrey Friday <3


	3. Alia Ren

Outside the medbay, watching through one-way paristeel, stood Lady Alia Ren.

Moments before she'd been pulled from her meditation by a tidal wave of terror that she _felt_ in the Force. Intrigued, she’d followed the emotion through the base, picturing it as a yellow string in her mind’s eye.

Following the thread led her to the medbay. Not just any medbay, either, but to R7, the private wing where the Knights of Ren received the best healthcare that power could buy.

Alia stopped short at the entrance - confused by the juxtaposition of a place of such power, and the raw terror and vulnerability of the Force-screams. The energy cascading into the Force felt like that of a scared child or a trapped animal, not an injured Knight of Ren.

Alia rounded a corner and saw the source: a young girl, maybe 18, was cowed in the corner of the main examination room, staring in terror at a young medical officer. The girl looked ready to bolt, and the officer looked ready to faint.

Intrigued, Alia stilled and watched the scene play out.

*

The action inside the room had quieted by the time a frantic Kylo Ren burst into the medbay. The sight of the most renowned Force-user in the galaxy, bursting into a hospital wing in a state of near panic was so funny that Alia let out a bark of laughter. It earned her a low growl, but nothing more.

She was Kylo’s second in command, after all, which made her perhaps the only person alive who could laugh in his presence and live to tell the tale.

Kylo came up short when he saw her, his energy halting at a knife’s edge. “Is she alright?” he asked, and even the voco-recorder couldn’t hide the worry behind his words.

“She’s fine,” Alia murmured, eyes back on the hospital room. She took a moment to recall all she’d just seen - the frantic girl waking up, the words exchanged with the young medical officer, the peace they seemed to have reached. She wrapped the memories neatly into a thought, and slid it easily over to Kylo Ren.

His mind opened to her, examining her offering, and the feeling of his thoughts roving hers was so intimate, so familiar, that it made her shiver.

They had done this a thousand times.

She felt the moment his thoughts disengaged from hers. He gave a sharp nod, and his frantic energy begin to still.

“She’s alright,” Alia said again, though it was unnecessary now. Beside her, Kylo’s heavy breathing began to slow.

They surveyed the scene for long minutes, side by side. Inside the med room, the girl was curled on her side, half asleep. Curiously, the young soldier seated next to her was reading aloud about...blood draw procedures?

“Who is he?” Kylo asks, though it sounds rhetorical.

“Who is _she_?” Alia asks, with a pointed glare.

Kylo laughs, the sound harsh and hollow. “Haven’t you heard? She’s our new weapon, courtesy of the Supreme Leader himself.”

_Ah, Snoke’s mystery asset. Interesting._

“And who is she to you, my lord?” Alia presses. A long silent moment stretches between them.

“She's a weapon to be wielded," Kylo says at last. "Nothing more."  
  
Were it not for the single, subtle clench of Kylo’s fist as he spoke, Alia might have believed the lie.


	4. In Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey dreams, and Kylo remembers.

In the medbay of Starkiller Base, Rey dreams of her brother. She has few memories of the past, and even fewer of her parents. But her brother, she remembers.

Once, when Rey was very small, and Ben was a gangly teenager, they had both been kidnapped.

Rey doesn't remember the details - who held them, or why. She only remembers waking up in darkness, the pinch of a needle, the feeling of an ice cold sedative working it’s way through her veins. Blackness again, and then waking up in a windowless room, alone but for her brother Ben.

Ben had been her world then, so perhaps she wasn’t as afraid as she should have been. Looking back, she knows they could have been tortured or killed, but in that moment, she only remembers waking up in blank terror, and then calming when she saw her brother, still asleep beside her.

She’d held one shaking hand over his mouth, let out a sob of relief when she felt his steady breath against her tiny palm. Then she’d curled up against his chest and fallen back asleep. Nothing else could touch her as long as her brother was there.

*

Kylo Ren watches as Rey falls asleep. Then, without warning, he’s pulled into her dream.

He remembers the kidnapping like it was yesterday. He’d woken in darkness with a tiny, shaking Rey burrowing into his chest. He remembers her wide, full-moon eyes, looking up at him in hope. She’d whisper-hissed his name, and it was the most terrified sound he’d ever heard her make.

He remembers holding her close with steady arms, and murmuring soft assurances into her hair. Promising her that she’d be okay, not knowing if it he was telling his last lie.

He yanks himself from the dream, and bolts from the medbay. As he marches through the base, his wild thoughts center on a single point: _Rey. Rey. Rey._

He doesn’t let his guard down until the doors of his personal shuttle lock, sealing him off from Starkiller Base. His emotions are far too volatile to risk being anywhere near the girl who might become a weapon, or an ally, or who might lead him to his final fall.

He steers his ship into an empty pocket of hyperspace, and then finally, light years away from another living soul, he lets himself remember.

He’d had been Ben Organa still, the last time he saw Rey. They had been kidnapped together - for political ransom, of all reasons - and she had never made it home.

He never got over it.

The worst part is that his parents were so certain that Rey was dead. Leia, ever attuned to the Force signatures of her children, had shrieked in sudden pain the day after Ben had been brought home. Leia said she knew, in that moment, that Rey was gone.

They'd made a grand show of searching for her, of course. Han and Leia had allies everywhere, and together they’d searched every known planet, every known system.

Eventually, they’d run out of systems to search, and rocks to turn over. But it wasn't until Luke finally admitted that he, too, could no longer feel Rey’s presence, that the search was truly over. And just like that, everyone accepted that Rey was gone.

Everyone, that is, but Kylo. He knew in his gut that she was alive. 

His parents thought this was denial, and they tried to comfort him. But what did they know? Rey had been the best of him. His humanity.

As a child, when he went into rages and felt like a monster, she'd been the one to touch his shaking fists with tiny hands and give him with a trusting smile. She’d sit down on the ground, no matter where they were, and motion imperiously for him to join her.

Then she’d command him - in a voice only Leia's daughter could have mastered at such a young age - that whatever he was worried about was silly, and that he should be braiding her hair and helping her climb trees instead of fussing about it.

He would laugh, and the tightness in his chest would unclench, just a little. He’d sit beside her, pick out one of her colorful hairbands he always wore around his wrist, and braid her hair into a circlet crown. "Just like mommy," she'd always say.

Kylo pulls himself from the memory with a gasp, and reminds himself where he is. Who he is. _Ben Organa is gone_ , he reminds himself forcefully; _only power remains._

The problem is, he _knows_ this is true, just as he knows that Rey Organa - at least part of her - still exists. She's sleeping in the medbay right now, and he has no idea how to face her when she wakes up.

*

Rey wakes in the medbay with Ben’s on her lips.

For one heart-stopping second, she thinks she senses him nearby. She reaches out instinctively to test the air around her, but no. It's only the stormtrooper by her bedside, and the memory of her fading dream, lingering like smoke in the air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! We made it through the requisite Kylo drama. What did you think?
> 
> Exciting news: the next chapter is all Finn, and it will be out soon! Come say hi on [tumblr](https://the-bi-writer.tumblr.com/) in the meantime


	5. The Knight Awakens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn!

Rey stirs, blinking awake.

“Welcome back,” the stormtrooper says, and it takes Rey a moment to remember where she is, who he is. He hands her a glass of water and she downs it, greedily. He hands her another when she’s finished and she downs that as well.  

She casts around for something to say, then asks the first question that pops into her mind. “What’s your name?”

He chuckles, but even filtered through his helmet speakers the sound is kind. “I’m a stormtrooper. I don’t have a name.”

“What do people call you, then?”

“FN-2187.”

The numbers and letters clash in Rey’s head, not making any sense. The man beside her isn’t a number, but a person. And a kind one at that. One who very much deserves a name.

“FN,” she muses. “May I...may I call you Finn?”

The trooper is quiet for a long moment. Then he nods, and she smiles, just a little. “I’m Rey,” she says.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Rey.”

“Yeah” she says, and wishes immediately that she were more eloquent. This man - Finn - was kind to her when she was most vulnerable. She’s immensely grateful, which is a new feeling. She’s not used to having gratitude to express, nor others to express it to.

She decides to keep her words simple and sweet, and hopes that he’ll understand the genuine sentiment behind them. “Finn?” she says, rolling the new name around on her tongue.

“Yes?” he replies immediately, back still ramrod straight.

She reaches over, touches his gloved hand gently with her own. “I’m sorry I stabbed you.”

He lets out a bark of laughter, quickly stifled, and she can almost see the way his face must have looked just then: wide, surprised smile, with eyebrows lifted in surprise, quickly fading to schooled features, but with a hint of a grin still playing on his mouth.

He waves his hand in a casual dismissal. “I was due for my yearly vaccines anyway, so I suppose you just saved me a trip to the medbay. I should be the one thanking you.”

She looks up at him, searching his helmet as if she could peek through in search of his smile. She settles for offering him one of her own, and takes satisfaction in seeing the tight set of his shoulders relax.

Then the doctor enters the room, and FN-2187 snaps back to attention at once.

*

“FN-2187,” Doctor Noble says briskly, rubbing her hands as she walks through the door. “You’re dismissed. Now that the young lady is awake, I have some things to discuss with her privately.”

Finn glances at Rey, worried for her state of mind, but she seems calmer now. In control. She gives him a tiny nod, as if to say _I’m okay._ He returns her nod, salutes Doctor Noble, and heads for the door.

“Oh, and trooper?”

Finn freezes, one hand on the door. “Yes, Doctor?”

“Good work today.”

*

Finn steps from the medbay, and the world looks different.

No, looksis the wrong word, he thinks; the world _looks_ exactly as it did before he’d taken off his helmet and met Rey’s eyes. What he’s seeing now is not different, but _more._

He passes by three corridors, each one guarded by a 'trooper. He exchanges a polite nod with each one, just as he would any other day. Three soldiers, three nods, and yet - for the first time - he can _feel_ the people beneath the armor. He can't sense anything as specific as their thoughts, just an impression, like the light that lingers in the sky after a firework explodes.

He shakes the strange image from his head, then taps his wrist to check the time - 23:00. It's late, but no later than he usually patrols. Then he mentally checks his nutritional intake for the day, briefly terrified that these strange new sensations might be nothing more than hallucinations brought on by sleep deprivation or lack of nutrition.

But no. Up until the medbay, his day had gone to plan. He’d followed his usual schedule, and had eaten his allotted rations at the appointed times. Everything had been the same as any other day of his carefully scheduled life. Everything, that was, until he met Rey. She'd seen his face, and given him a name, and Finn knows he'll never be the same. He'll never truly be a soldier again.

He shoves these traitorous thoughts away and focuses on each footstep instead. He lets his mind wander to food and sleep, trying to ignore his own crackling energy in the air all around him.

Then he passes the hallway that leads to the greenhouse domes, and he feelsa peculiar, wind-soft energy, different from the sharp staccato of the soldier's minds. He pauses, captivated by the gentle sensation.

Then, overlapping but nothing alike, he hears the most beautiful word in the world, haunting and humming like an itch he has to scratch.

FN-2187 had never before deviated from his assigned schedule. He has never strayed from his patrol route, not even by an inch. But this word. This beautiful word. He glances down the empty corridors to his right and left, takes a breath, and follows the sound of his own name.

The whisper-breath of _Finn_ takes him down a dark hallway, past the greenhouses, to a room he’s never seen before. He stops outside, equal parts curious and afraid. Through open double doors he glimpses a grand, circular space lit by the moon through a soaring glass ceiling. He can’t see anyone inside, but he feels a presence that reminds him, strangely, of Rey.

The air around him stills, and a high voice calls out, “Make your choice, soldier, and make it now. Enter or leave, but don’t waste my time.”

He doesn’t know who's calling his name, but the air here is  _alive_ in a way he can't resist. He takes a single step inside.

A hooded figure stands in the shadows of the room. She advances on him slowly, passing through moonlit patches as she stalks forward. Finn sees dark skin hidden by a hood and half mask, and deep brown eyes focused only on him.

She tosses him something - a metallic cylinder, he thinks - and he catches it on instinct. Before he has time to figure out what he's holding, she speaks the most bone-chilling words he's ever heard:

“I am Lady Alia Ren, and _you_  are a traitor to the First Order.”

He grabs for his blaster but she flicks her wrist, lightning fast, and it flies from his hands and across the room. Before he has time for another thought, she ignites a lightsaber, and swings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for reading and commenting! It really does mean the world to me. If you want to squeal about finnrey with me on tumblr, I'm [here](https://the-bi-writer.tumblr.com/)


	6. Traitor (Finn's Choice)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn!

Finn ducks and rolls neatly away from Lady Alia’s blazing saber blade. He gains his feet, and she’s on him again, her next strike coming even faster than the first. 

The world around him slows. As he dodges her third blow, he suddenly _knows_ where she will strike next. In his mind, he sees her switch form and attack him with short, jabbing bursts. Sure enough, her next move isn’t a swing, but a stab, straight for his shoulder.

He’s absorbed in the vision just a moment too long, and Alia’s next strike hits home. White hot pain burns his left arm.

She retracts her saber with a hiss and steps back, allowing him a moment to breathe. “Fight back, traitor,” she spits. “Or my next blow will be to your throat.”

He chances a glance toward his blaster, calculating the odds of reaching it before she strikes him down. The odds aren’t good, but how can he fight without a weapon?

“You have a weapon,” she hisses, responding to his thoughts. He looks down and realizes what she tossed at him earlier: a lightsaber hilt, the twin to hers.

He ignites it at once.

“There he is,” she says, and her grin is steel and fire.

They circle each other in the center of the room, underneath the moonlit glass dome. Strangely, Finn’s mind isn’t racing, but calm. Focused. Like this battle is where he belongs.

Alia swings, and this time Finn’s ready. He blocks her blade and strikes in return. He misses, and, true to her word, she swings straight at his throat.

He spins away and swings low, his saber nearly catching her shins. She jumps away at the last second, and he overbalances, rolling forward and springing back up to his feet.

Then they strike at the same time and their sabers connect. Finn knows it’s a mistake as soon as it happens. And he sees what will happen next.

Alia disarms him and sends him sailing backwards, all the way across the room. He hits the wall hard, and she's on him in seconds, her twin blades dangerously close to his throat.

Once again, the world slows. Following an unfamiliar instinct, Finn sucks in an enormous breath. It feels like he's breathing in every last spark of energy in the room.

Then, he pushes.

Lady Alia Ren flies across the room like a twig in a gale. Finn, standing up slowly, can only stare in horror and awe. He sees her slumped on the opposite wall, moaning and clutching at her side. Her twin blades, still lit, crackle on the bare granite floor.

Finn thinks that he should reach out, should find his blaster, should keep fighting. But his brain feels stuck in heavy mud, and his body feels like he’s been running for days. Whatever just happened took everything he had.

Alia rises from the floor, letting out a moan. She summons her sabers with a single wave, extinguishing them mid air before catching the hilts and clipping them to her belt.

She stalks across the room, removing her half-mask as she advances. In the moonlight Finn can suddenly see her face, and it’s covered in a wicked grin.

“I _knew_ you were Force sensitive,” she says, eyes flashing in triumph. “I sensed it in the medbay, but I had to be sure.”

She offers a gloved hand and he takes it, hesitantly. She helps him to his feet and they stare, unmoving, for a single breath.

“Now,” she rubs her hands together, brisk and businesslike, “Who do you work for?”

Finn’s thankful for the answer that rises easily to his lips. “The First Order, ma’mn.”

She narrows her eyes. “No. You don’t. I saw you in the medbay, with the desert girl today. You took off your helmet while on duty, soldier. You _accepted a name.”_ Her next words are treason. “You’re no more loyal to the First Order than I am.”

Finn freezes, suddenly sure that this is a trap. His brain is spinning with a thousand ways that this could play out, and most of them end with his death.

“Who do you work for?” Alia asks again.  “Another Knight, perhaps? One who’s training you in the ways of the Force?”

Finn doesn’t know what to say to _that_ , so he repeats the mantra he’s spoken every day since he was old enough to talk. “I serve the First Order, and the Order alone. For their might is unrivaled, and their vision is great.”

“You’re a terrible liar,” she says, sounding suddenly bored. “But we can work on that.”

 _We?_ he thinks, his thoughts going wild.

“Yes _we,”_ she says aloud, somehow imitating the precise tone of this thoughts. “Since you clearly have no other loyalties, I want you to work for me.”

Finn’s stunned into stillness. After a minute - or a lifetime - he finds the words to ask, “Is this _employment offer_ optional, my lady?”

She taps a gloved finger on her chin, exactly twice. “No. But, I’m not unreasonable. What is it that you want, soldier? If it’s in my power, I’ll grant it.”

Finn’s brain goes completely blank at the question. He speaks slowly, in a daze. “What do I -”

“Want,” she finishes for him, her tone precise. “I’m asking for your unconditional fealty, and that’s not a small request. So, what can I offer you in return?”

The words are out before he can stop himself. “I want to be free of the First Order.”

“Done,” she says at once.

He’s not sure he heard her correctly. “My lady? Don’t you answer to the First Order?”

She narrows her eyes, and he reminds himself not to speak out of turn.

“I answer to _no one_ ,” she says, voice like shards of ice. “And neither will you, once you complete your service to me. Are those acceptable terms?”

He nods, voice caught in his throat.

“Speak, soldier. Your word is your bond, and the Force takes that literally. Will you join me as my apprentice?”

The answer rises easily to his lips, “Yes.” He marvels at the sound of it. It was first choice he’d been given in a long, long time.

He hesitates then, thinking of Rey.

Alia studies him. “You wish for something else as well.” It’s a statement, not a question. “Ask.”

“The girl, in the medbay,” Finn says before he can stop himself. “She's hurt and vulnerable, and I don’t want to leave her on her own in this place.”

“Perfect,” Alia says, looking at him with fresh greed in her eyes. “Because she is your first assignment. Finn of Starkiller Base, welcome to the Knights of Ren.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Finnrey Friday ya'll! I've been working my ass off on this story this week, so I'd love to hear what you think!


	7. Knightling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn starts his formal training, and his new life as a Knight of Ren.

Finn puts on his standard issue helmet at 06:30 the next morning, just like every other day of his life. Unlike every other day of his life, a recorded summons plays at once.  

“Same spot as yesterday, 07:00. Don’t be late.”

He has no doubt who the message is from. Alia Ren. He shivers at the thought of her, but is intrigued in spite of himself. She clearly means to use him as a pawn in whatever game the Knights are playing, but that didn’t mean that he, Finn, can get nothing out of this. He sets out for the training room, determined to watch her closely and learn everything he can.

He grabs a ration bar and a piece of fruit from the cafeteria - Rey mentioned yesterday that she had rarely eaten fruit in her life, and he’s been itching to bring her some - and stows them away in his belt pouch.

Finn makes it to the medbay in record time, and takes a moment to look in on Rey. He’s happy to find that his clearance code has already been altered to give him 24/7 access to the room, so he lets himself in easily. She’s sleeping, still, monitored by a mess of machines and a sleepy looking intern in the corner. Doctor Noble must be busy again, but at least Rey’s not alone.

Finn strides to the bed, checks all her readings, and taps out a quick note on the datapad. He leaves it on her bedside table, along with the tangerine, so that the first thing she’ll see when she wakes up is a delicious new fruit and a note from him.

_Rey - I’m just down the hall, working on some medical training. Type ‘2187’ into the datapad if you need anything, and I’ll be there in a flash._

He reaches out a hand, catches himself just before he brushes her cheek, and strides quickly from the room.

*

Lady Alia Ren is waiting for him when he arrives. She pulls back her hood as he enters the room, and for the first time he properly studies her face. Her skin is light brown and her her eyes are dark and intense. He can _feel_ a sort of keen observation coming his way. She’s watching him, assessing his every move.  

The thought only makes him bolder, more determined. He straightens his shoulders and greets her with a silent bow, not looking up until she speaks.

“Rise, soldier.”

He straightens.

Alia pulls out her twin saber hilts and tosses one to him, just like yesterday. She ignites hers at once, giving Finn only half a breath of warning before she charges him, with just as much energy as before.

“Today, soldier, I’m going to teach you how to stay alive.”

*

The lesson is exhausting and exhilarating.

Finn’s spent his entire life in training - combat, blasters, tactics, you name it. But the hum of the blade in his hand, the intensity of his opponent’s glare - these are things he’s never felt before.

Everything until now, he realizes, has been just a simulation, just soldiers playing at war, with nothing but grades and ego at stake. This, though, is real. He has no illusions about Alia’s intentions; she would slice off a limb - or worse - if she could. She isn’t playing around.

So Finn fights with his mind, his strength, his heart. And at the end of an hour or deflecting blow after blow - and even getting in one or two of his own - Alia stops, just as suddenly as she’d started.

Their sabers extinguish in synch, and he feels his yanked from his grasp as she summons it back to her.

She looks at him coolly, considering him, then gives a sharp nod. “An auspicious beginning,” she says. “Your stance is weak and your strike patterns are predictable, but that’s easily fixed. You just might be worth my time to train.”

She considers him, again. “You will me here every day at 07:00 and 17:00 for training. You will guard the girl in the medbay for the rest of the day, and you will tell _no one_ about this. Understood?”

“Yes, my lady.”

“Good. And soldier? Get rid of that godawful helmet. ”

“My lady?”

“You’re no longer one of _them_. I approved the transfer with Phasma this morning. You’re under the care of the Knights now. Come.”

She picks up a dark pile of clothing and motions him toward her. “These are your robes. Midnight blue to match mine. Put them on.”

Finn takes the pile carefully, and allows himself the briefest of moments to revel in the beauty of the fabric. It’s the deepest blue, with three tiny golden stars embroidered at the base of the hood. He slips his helmet off and slides the robes over his armor at once.

Alia clucks, disapproving. “We’ll need to get you some properly fitting armor soon; this cheap shit the Order makes is far too bulky. You’ll be coming with me on my next off-world trip, I suppose.”

Finn raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t challenge the woman who’d just given him a beautiful robe, and the promise of a different life.

“That robe bears my mark,” she says, gesturing to the three golden stars on the shoulder, “so no one should bother you as you go about your business on the ship. If anyone does give you trouble, tell them you report directly to me.

“The hood’s deep enough to hide your face,” she continues, “and I expect you to wear it in public at all times. In private, however, use your discretion. Your primary goal is to gain the girl’s trust, and to bring any information you find back to me. You have an untrained face - expressive and open - so showing your face might help with your goal.

“Now,” she says, rubbing her hands, “let’s look at you.”

She walks around him once, and nods sharply. Finn thinks, for a moment, that he can _feel_ her satisfaction in the air around them.

“It suits you. Now, go to the girl, and get her to trust you.”

When he doesn’t move at once, she says, “Now, soldier.”

Finn turns, thankful for the reprieve, and makes for the medbay - and Rey - as fast as his feet will go.

*

Finn pulls back his new hood as he steps through the door, not wanting to startle Rey.

She’s awake and sitting up, and smiles at him like the sun. “Hey handsome."

"Hey," Finn smiles, suddenly feeling bashful. “How are you feeling?” 

“Confused,” she answers promptly, “And hungry. Thanks for the fruit, by the way. Can I get another one of those?”

Finn laughs, and it’s amazing to hear it come out of his throat, unmodulated and free. “You’re a guest of head of the Knights of Ren. I’m fairly sure you could request a pet bantha and they’d find a way to get you one.”

She laughs, and he takes a moment to study her face. It’s far less grey than yesterday, and a healthy flush of color has returned to her cheeks. Her eyes still look sunken, tired, but Finn figures that will take time to heal. Rey’s still looking leaps and bounds better than before, and healing faster than he would have guessed possible. Good.

He motions to the datapad in her hand. “Hasn't the doctor shown you how to order food on that yet?”

She shakes her head. “I haven’t been awake long. Can you show me?”

“Of course.” He sits beside her on the bed, careful to leave a little space between them. She hands him the datapad and their fingers brush, which makes his stomach do a funny little flip-flop. He ignores it, and focuses on the task at hand.

He finds the meal app and helps Rey order oatmeal with berries - the doctor’s notes say that she shouldn’t eat anything too heavy just yet - and sits with her as she eats. She _inhales_ the food, and he has to put a gentle hand on her arm a few times, to remind her to slow down and drink, so she doesn't make herself sick.

As Rey’s finishing her breakfast, Doctor Noble appears. The doctor’s eyes go wide when she sees Finn, and she immediately drops to one knee. “Sir Knight,” she says, eyes cast to the ground. “Doctor Noble, head of Starkiller Medbay, at your service.”

Finn’s eyebrows shoot past his hairline. Why was Doctor Noble...? Oh. _Oh._ He’s dressed like a Knight of Ren, because, well, he _is_ a Knight of Ren now. Or an apprentice to a Knight, but that seems to count. 

Even more strangely, the doctor, unlike Rey, has never seen his bare face before, and she has no reason to recognize his unmodulated voice. He considers telling her who he is, but decides against it. Instead, he says, in a voice as authoritative as he can make it, “Rise, doctor. And report.”

The doctor quickly stands and rattles off information - Rey’s recovering well from the malnutrition, and as he can see, she’s eating solid food again. In another two days, if all goes well, she can be discharged into a secure location.  

Finn raises his eyebrows at the last bit, wondering where they’re planning on taking Rey. He doesn’t ask, though, not wanting to raise suspicions if it’s something he should already know.

“Um...very good,” he says, when Doctor Noble’s finished. “What can you tell me about the patient’s injured leg?”

Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Rey scowling, as if to say _don’t talk about me like I’m not right here,_ but he gives her the tiniest shake of his head, and he sees her relax, just a bit. 

 _Does she trust me already?_ he wonders. But he pushes the thought out of his mind to listen to the doctor’s report.

“...the wounds on her left leg are too severe to be cured by bacta alone,” Doctor Noble is saying. She’s wringing her hands, as if terrified to deliver bad news to a Knight of Ren, and Finn realizes, with a jolt, that she’s _afraid_ of him. “However,” the doctor gulps, “she should make a full recovery with 8 to 12 weeks of physical therapy.”

Rey makes a huffy little sound in her throat, and Finn figures she’s heard this spiel already. He nods at the doctor, wanting to soothe her clearly frayed nerves. Doctor Noble has always been good to him, and he doesn’t wish to cause her unnecessary anxiety now. “Good work, doctor. I’ll…” he tries to think of how a knight might talk, what they might say. “I’ll report back to Lady Alia that the girl is in most capable hands.”

Doctor Noble breathes out a sigh of relief, and lets her hands relax again at her sides. “Thank you,” she breathes. “Is there anything I can get you while you’re here?”

Finn leans back in his seat for the first time in his life, and, luxuriates in the question, in the choice. “A sandwich,” he decides. “And the biggest cup of caf you have.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been wrestling with this chapter for a solid two weeks, so I'd love to know what you think! Thanks so much to everyone who has read and commented so far.


	8. Fire and Ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn steals Rey away from the medbay, and Alia trains Finn in the ways of the Force.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to @topographical-map-of-utah for the AMAZING [Finn art](https://topoart.tumblr.com/post/161591644714/aight-so-the-bi-writers-got-a-fic-where-finns-a) he made me, and to @TheMockingDahila and @fallsouthwinter for their beta brilliance. 
> 
> Happy Finnrey Friday!

Rey's always had a _sense_ about people. For as long as she can remember, certain people have felt like the sky, or the sand, or the half-remembered sea.

This curious sixth sense helped her survive for long years in the desert, and now, trapped in Force knows where, she's hoping it will save her again.

Finn, for example, feels like clear water. He has a fresh, sparkling energy about him that she rarely senses in those around her.

When she first woke up in the medbay, panicked and disoriented, it was Finn’s eyes that had calmed her. They held kindness, compassion, truth. Finn's energy is gentle and fierce at the same time, containing the potential to be both life giving and - in the wrong situations - life threatening. But the current of Finn's energy was soothing and gentle that day, and when her gut told her it was _okay_ to trust this man, she had.

Trust. It was an unfamiliar sensation, heady and new. Rey had known Finn for less than two days, and already she just _knew._ Finn might be a soldier, lethal in battle, but here in the medbay, he is her friend.

*

After breakfast, Finn and the doctor murmur together for bit, and then Finn returns to her bed with a smile on his face. “The doctor said I can steal you away for a bit. Can I show you something?”

Rey nods, grateful to be going _anywhere_ but this harsh, bare room. Finn pulls a hoverchair to her bedside and helps her into it with gentle hands. He hooks her IV nutrient bag to the back of the chair, and then they’re off, headed out the door and down the hall to a bank of turbolifts.

There’s an easy, excited energy coming from Finn, like the upbeat notes to a lovely song. Rey closes her eyes for a moment and just breathes in the peacefulness his presence brings. He’s her a single patch of sunlight in this cold and lonely place.

The take a lift up several floors - Rey's sure they were underground before this - and the doors open on the most beautiful room Rey's ever seen. It's glass on all sides, with an expansive view of a snow-strewn forest beyond.

“It's beautiful,” she breathes.

She follows Finn to the large windows, where a few chairs are scattered for viewing purposes. He sits in one, and she pulls up beside him, eye level and close enough to touch. His nearness sends a thrill through her that she can feel down to her toes.

Rey takes a moment to drink in the view and enjoy in the silence she’s sharing with Finn. Then she takes a deep breath and asks the questions that have been haunting her ever since she woke up. 

* 

“What am I doing here?” Rey says, soft and scared. “Who would bring me to this place, lock me up, and give me the best doctor in the galaxy? What could they possibly want with me?”

Finn hesitates, looks out the window while he thinks. He's made a Force vow of loyalty to Alia Ren, and he's pretty sure there’d be consequences if he were to break it. Either from the Force itself, or from Alia. He and Rey are being watched, through several security holocameras he’s already spotted around the room.  

He doesn’t want to lie to Rey, though, so he decides on a compromise. He turns to her and leans in close, making a show of picking an eyelash off her cheek. She stills at his touch, her gaze open and curious. Trusting.

Finn leans in close so they're cheek to cheek, and he hopes it will obscure his lips and words as he whispers softly into her ear.

“They're listening.”

She pulls back and cocks her head, but doesn't say any more. He lets out a breath of relief when she turns back to the window and casually says, “So, did you use to train out there like that?”

He follows her gaze to a snow clearing where a group of junior ‘troopers are running drills in tight formation, and he’s instantly grateful that she understood everything he couldn't say. _I wish I could tell you, but I can’t. Not here, and not yet._

“Three times a day,” he says, and smiles in spite of himself. Fighting in the snow, no holds barred, had always been his favorite way to learn.

Finn tells her a few funny stories from his many years of training: the time he and Slip snuck off to sled down a hill using cafeteria trays; the time Zeros accidentally nailed Phasma, right in the helmet, with a snowball when she discovered them having a snowball fight. They were on sanitation duty for months as punishment, but to this day, the image of Phasma sputtering with a helmet full of snow still makes Finn laugh.

Rey actually _snorts_ with laughter at the last story, and Finn gives her a sideways grin. There’s something raw and lovely about this desert girl, he thinks. This girl with sharp hazel eyes and a laugh like a sailor.

“Would you like to take a walk in the forest sometime?” Finn asks with cautious hope. “When you're feeling better, I mean?”

She smiles, and her cheeks go a little pink. “I'd like that. I can't remember the last time I saw snow and, well. It would be nice to see it with you.”

He grins right back. “I'm looking forward to it already.”

*

The afternoon flies by as they talk about nothing and everything, and soon Finn’s chrono is flashing a reminder for him to meet Alia. He escorts Rey back to her room, helping her back into bed, his hands lingering a breath longer than strictly necessary.

As he turns to leave she touches his arm and says, “I had fun today. Thank you, friend.”

It’s the first time anyone’s ever called him that, and he can’t stop a silly grin from spreading across his face as he heads down the halls to his second training of the day.

*

“Lady Alia, may I ask a question?”

Finn and Alia are back in the training room, this time seated and facing each other. Finn’s supposed to be learning mind-blocking techniques to protect himself from other Force users, but his thoughts keeps turning back to Rey. He know he won’t be able to concentrate until he gets a few answers about what the Knights have planned.

Alia answers him with a question of her own. “Do you know why I recruited you to be my apprentice, Finn?”

Finn shakes his head, surprised at the abrupt change in topic.

“The first time I saw you, you were in the medbay, dealing with an emergency you didn’t have the training for. You thought quickly and creatively, and you succeed where others might have failed That took intuition and intelligence.”

Finn raises his eyebrows at the unexpected praise. The First Order had only ever given him scraps of validation; this was a full-on buffet.

“My point,” Alia continues, “is that on a military base like this, skilled fighters are a dime a dozen. Even Force sensitives are more common than you think. Minds like yours, however, are rare.

“I have rules for your public comportment that we’ll go over soon. In private however, you’re free to speak your mind. Your mind is part of why I recruited you, after all, and I value your input. So yes, knightling. Ask away.”

Finn wonders for a brief moment if it's a trick. But Alia lowers her half mask so he can see her whole face, and meets his gaze with an even stare.

_She's inviting me to trust her_ , he thinks.

“I can ask anything?”

She nods, her gaze steady. He thinks he sees the tiniest gleam of curiosity in her eyes. “I won't answer every question, but I also won't fault you for asking. So, my apprentice, what do you wish to know?”

Finn can't read her intention behind the invitation, but he accepts the challenge. “What do you want with Rey?”

Alia studies him, looking thoughtful. “I don't know yet,” she finally admits, and Finn can see the admission galls her. “But The Supreme Leader has gone to a great deal of trouble to keep her alive, and I want to know why.”

She watches Finn's reaction and continues. “More immediately, Kylo Ren left base this morning, and tasked me with watching over her til he returns. Have you ever seen one of Commander Ren’s...displays of anger?” She speaks the last phrase with delicate disdain.

Finn winces and nods.

“So I think you'll agree that it's in both of our best interests to keep the girl happy and safe until he returns. And if we happen to win the girl’s favor while Kylo is away?” She grins, showing teeth, and there’s a calculating gleam in her eyes. “So much the better for us. Does that answer your question, knightling?”

Finn considers all she's just said. While he doesn't love the thought of manipulating Rey, he knows that things could be much, much worse. Who knows who else might have designs on Rey? Who knows what Snoke and Kylo Ren have planned? 

Alia, at least has a vested interest in Rey's safety, albeit for her own reasons. That made her the closest thing to an ally that Rey had on base.

Finn knows he can’t tell Rey any of this, not yet, and he hates the thought of lying to her. But if lying will keep her safe? He can live with that.

“It does, my lady. Thank you.”

“Good,” Alia says with a decisive nod. “Now it’s time to teach you to guard your mind.” 

*

The first thing she does, is teach him of fire.

“Picture it tearing through you,” she says, and there’s no emotion in her voice. “Picture the smoke blocking out every thought and memory. Then picture your mind as a castle, secure and impenetrable. Picture the fire surrounding it, a solid wall of flame to keep everyone else out.”

Finn does. Or, he tries to, at least. 

He can feel her nudging at the edge of his thoughts, testing his fledgling new defenses, and sighing when she gets through easily. “Your mind belongs to you alone, Finn. But you’re going to have to work to keep it that way. Try again.”

He tries again. And again. And again. Each time Lady Alia gets past his fledgling fire easily. Then, finally, as he feels her coming around for another attack, he feels a fresh surge of determination, and inside his mind the fire turns to solid ice.

He can almost _feel_ Alia’s consciousness bouncing off of his, repelled by the solid, frozen wall.

He opens his eyes, and is met with one of her wild grins.

“Nicely done. Now, use that whenever another Force user is around,” she says. “ _Especially_ when that Force user is a Knight of Ren.”

Finn wonders what secrets he may soon have to guard under the protective ice of his mind, but Alia waves a hand at his questioning look. “A lesson for another day, I think. For now, shall we get you to your new quarters?”

Finn nods and follows. It’s been a long day full of new experiences, and even though it’s relatively early, his mind is already trained on sleep.

Alia leads him to a hidden turbolift next to their training room, and they ride in silence as they ascend several floors. The turbolift stops with a soft chime, and they step out together into a sparse, octagonal common room, with 8 doors inlaid by intervals into the walls.

“That one’s a meditation room,” Alia says, pointing at the first door they pass, “and this one’s a smaller training room, for one-on-one sparring. This one’s the library, and the rest are individual living quarters.”

Finn raises his eyebrows at that. “Are there other Knights of Ren living here?”

“Not at the moment,” Alia responds, her voice a little absent. “We’re not affiliated with the First Order, not really. I’m only _here,_ ” she says the word with a sneer, “because Kylo asked me to be.”

Finn gulps around his next question, not wanting to ask, but needing to know. “Does...does Commander Ren stay here as well?”

Alia snorts. “Stars, no. Do you think I’d sleep here if he did? Have you ever _seen_ him in the mornings?”

Finn coughs, hard. “I haven’t, my lady.”

Alia lets out a wry chuckle. “With that, I’ll leave you to it. Your door’s through there, and the lock is already coded to you. There’s some old armor in the closet for you to wear tomorrow.” Alia gives an apologetic little wince. “I don’t love the idea of my apprentice being seen in second-hand armor, but it’s good quality, and it should work for now. We'll visit my personal tailor here in a few days, but until then it will have to do.”

Finn can only nod, overwhelmed and grateful. “Thank you. Truly.” 

She raises her eyebrows in what he already recognizes as sardonic amusement. “Don’t be humble, knightling. It’s not charity. You’re earning it. You’ll have a salary too, credited to your account in a few days.”

_I have an account?_ he thinks. _And a salary?_ It’s enough to make his head spin.

“My quarters are next door,” Alia motions, “And our comm links are synced, so you can reach me any time.”

Finn nods. He’d synched his own comm to the medbay that afternoon, so that Rey and the doctor could get ahold of him too.

“Don't wake me for anything less than life or death, though. I'm not forgiving when I'm tired.” With that, Alia claps Finn on the shoulder and turns heel for her door.  

Finn walks toward his own quarters - _his quarters!_ \- and stops with his hand on the door, sucking in a deep breath.

His whole life has already changed in a day. He’s gained a new teacher, a new position, a new status on base. And now he’s stepping forward into a door that will make it all official. He’s with the Knights, now, and he’ll never have to be a Stormtrooper again.

He gathers his courage and steps inside. His new quarters are small, but clean, and he loves them at once. The main room is lit by starlight, with a couch facing a huge open window looking out into the night. There’s also a small kitchen, a dining nook, a bedroom, and a rather fancy looking ‘fresher.

It's tiny and sparse but it's _his._

As he walks through his new space for the first time, he strips off his ‘trooper armor for the last time, leaving a trail of white pieces from the door. He’ll pick them all up in the morning, he thinks, but for now he lets himself beeline for his bed and fall into a deep, well earned sleep.

* 

Hours later, in the dead of night, Finn wakes to Rey’s screams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Chapter Art](https://the-bi-writer.tumblr.com/post/163616790265/from-ch-8-of-there-is-no-redemption-here-a) | [My tumblr](https://the-bi-writer.tumblr.com/)
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks everyone for your support! I appreciate your comments more than you know.


	9. In Nightmares

Hours later, in the dead of night, Finn wakes to Rey’s screams.

Her disembodied voice is coming from his comm link, and she’s screaming a single word, over and over: Ben. Ben. Ben.

Finn’s out of bed in record time, striding to his new closet to get dressed. He runs a finger over the new-used armor that Alia left there for him, and spares a split second to be grateful that he’ll never have to wear Stormtrooper armor again. Then he shakes himself fully awake, dresses, and responds to the wailing on his comm link.

Another voice is speaking now, crisp and clear over Rey’s continued wailing in the background. “This is Doctor Noble, requesting Sir Finn to the medbay. The patient is in distress, as I’m sure you can hear. I’ve administered as much sedative medication as I can, but it’s having no effect. She seems to be having some sort of nightmare, but it - well. I don’t know how to describe it. You’ll just have to come and see.”

“I’ll be right there, doctor,” he says, and grabs his lovely new cloak on the way out the door. In the common room, he hesitates in front of Lady Alia’s door, wondering if he should wake her. He decides against it and carries on, running toward Rey in a full-out sprint.

As he nears the medbay, the strangest thing happens: he begins to _feel_ Rey’s distress, radiating outward into the Force. Her screams on his comm link had sounded raw and desperate, and the Force around him now holds those qualities as well. All he can think is that he wants to comfort her in any way he can.

He reaches the outer doors of the medbay and his fingers fly over the keypad, entering the new clearance code that’s already a part of him. The door opens at once - though it feels like an eternity - and then he’s down the hall, flying toward Rey’s room.

Outside her window, he stops dead in his tracks, shocked into stillness by what he sees. Rey’s in bed, still asleep, and medical equipment is flying around the room like debris in a tornado. Supply carts, stools, and even a beeping medical droid are crashing into the walls and each other, sparking dangerously as they collide.

He’s never seen anything like it.

Finn quickly assess his options. Doctor Noble is nowhere in sight, but there are three night guards nearby, watching and talking in low, panicked whispers. They're in heavy armor and are wearing rubber boots, so he figures it's safe enough to send them in.

“You,” Finn says, pointing to the nearest one, “Go find Doctor Noble. You two,” he points to the others, “Get in there and secure that equipment. It’s going to take someone’s head off if we don’t get it cleared out soon.”

He’s surprised by how steady his voice is, how easily the commands rose to his lips. The ‘troopers salute him at once, and disperse to follow his orders.

Two of them clamber into Rey's room, catching and clearing out the flying machines and supplies. It's going well, until one trooper is suddenly thrown against the wall so hard that Finn can hear the snap of bones, and the other hits the ceiling with a yelp. They land and scramble to their feet, sprinting out of the room and down the hallway.

 _So much for that plan_ , Finn thinks, as he watches them retreat. One of the ‘troopers is limping and the other is holding his arm, and Finn makes a note to make sure they get proper medical care, instead of being sent to recycling. Then he turns back to Rey.

She's quieter now, her screams fading into hoarse pleas he can't quite make out. He racks his brain for what to do next.

His whole life he’s been trained to attack, not defend, so even with the benefit of his brief medical training, he doesn’t know the protocol for situations like this one. Actually, he’s not sure there _is_ protocol for situations like this one. He’s dealing with a distressed mystery prisoner who’s flinging the Force around like a whirlwind, and is probably not even aware that she’s doing it.

He remembers something Alia told him in training: always start with your breath. When you're uncertain, find something to put your back against and turn your focus inward to your breath. Then reach out, and the Force will come.

He puts his back against the wall and centers himself, offering up something between a plea and a prayer. He starts to wonder what “the Force will come” means, when Alia suddenly appears at his side.

He almost doubles over in relief. “Thank the Force you're here,” he says, “What do I do?”

Alia takes in the scene, her face betraying nothing but mild curiosity. She’s nervous though. Finn can see it in the tiny twirling motion she’s making with her fingers, half hidden beneath the sleeves of her robes.

She closes her eyes, and Finn feels her reach out to the Force.

“She’s having a nightmare,” Alia says, though that much was obvious. “She’s dreaming of being trapped. In a...basement, maybe?”

“Who’s Ben?” Finn cuts in.

Alia turns to him sharply. “Where did you hear that name?”

“From Rey,” he says, surprised by her tone. “She was calling out for someone named Ben when they commed me.”

“Shit,” Alia says, under her breath, and Finn feels the Force around them shift. He looks at her for clarification, but she waves her hand in dismissal of the question, and he files it away for another time.

"I'll meditate and direct the worst of the debris away from you," Alia says, "and that should give you a path through. Go calm her down before she hurts herself, because it’s our asses on the line if she does."

Finn nods, once, and ducks inside.

*

In Rey’s dream, she’s falling. She doesn’t remember what happened after her fall on Jakku, but she remembers - oh she remembers - the fall itself. She remembers scrambling for a handhold, only to have each one break on her way down. She remembers hitting a jagged piece of metal, hard. She remembers screaming, and bleeding, and falling.

The dream loops, trapping her in terrifying free fall, and she doesn’t know how to land. She doesn’t know how to make it stop. So she reaches out with all her might, trying to find purchase in the world around her. Trying to find something to hold on to.

She thinks she hears shouts around her - soldiers, maybe, and a voice that sounds like her own, calling out for the brother she hasn’t seen in years. Then there’s nothing, and she’s nothing. Not a sister or a daughter, not even a scavenger. Just a lost consciousness, falling into the void.

But then, there is Finn.

She senses him the instant he nears, and she’s suddenly aware again, even though she’s not quite _awake_ just yet. She tries to reach out to him, tries to explain, but her words and her limbs are weighed down by lead.

She feels his hand in hers, warm and solid, and it feels like a solid handhold at last, stopping her from freefall. Then she’s curling into him, and his hands are cupping her face, and it’s like landing, finally, in a pool of fresh water that surrounds her and brings her back to herself.

*

Finn approaches Rey’s bed a half pace at a time, ducking a stray flying object as he goes. With each step toward her, her wild energy seems to calm, and by the time he reaches her bedside, the room has gone still.

Finn reaches a hand to cover one of hers, and she holds onto it for dear life, eyes still closed. Her raspy, broken wailing dies out, and her breath starts to return to an even flow.

On instinct he sits down on the bed, and Rey moves toward him at once, curling her shivering body around him. He rubs soothing circles on her back, then lays a cautious hand to her face. At this, finally, she opens her eyes.

“Finn?” she says, blinking up at him. “What are you doing on Jakku?”

“We’re not on Jakku,” he says, gently. “We’re somewhere safe now.” The last part is a lie and he knows it, but Rey’s peace of mind is what matters most right now. There will be time for truth later.

“But...where are we? And why is the energy so dark?”

He’s not sure what she's sensing - Alia, maybe? - but he gives her the same answer before. “You’re with me. And that’s what matters right now, okay?”

She looks right at him, right _through_ him, and then says softly, “You’re a prisoner too.”

Finn’s taken aback by the unexpected truth. “You're not wrong,” he says carefully, aware that Alia’s listening outside. “But I have a better job now, so I’m okay.”

“I’m not,” Rey whispers.  “I’m not okay. I don’t know where I am, and I don’t know what they want with me.”

Finn doesn't know why they’re keeping her captive either, and he wouldn't be able to tell her if he did. Instead, he asks softly, “How can I help? What do you need?”

“You,” she says, her voice still tinged with sleep. “Just you.”

“Okay,” he says simply, as if the world were that easy. Maybe something, just this one thing _can_ be simple, even if only for a little while. He hesitates before speaking again, not wanting to ruin this precious moment. “Would you like me to stay here tonight?”

She nods, relief washing over her features. “Would you?”

“Of course,” he murmurs. “I’ll grab a cot and sleep by your bedside. That way I’ll be right here if you need me again.”

He stands up to go find a cot - and a way to bolt it to the floor, in case Rey’s whirlwind nightmare returns - but she catches his wrist.

“You can sleep with me, if you want,” she says, voice tiny. “In my bed, I mean. Only if you want to, it’s okay if you don’t, I probably shouldn’t have asked -”

“Alright,” he agrees easily, as if Rey had not just given him the most beautiful invitation he’d ever received.

She smiles and scoots over, making room for him beside her on the tiny bed.

Finn strips off his outer armor, leaving him in a soft leather vest and trousers. That done, he climbs in beside her, careful not to jostle her injured leg. He lays stiffly for a moment, on his back, not entirely sure what to do in a situation like this.

Thankfully, Rey takes the lead. She curls on her side, facing away from him, and backs up into him, doing a little wriggle-dance as she does. When he doesn’t follow her lead immediately, she glances over her shoulder and gives him a _look_. He turns onto his side, behind her, and puts an arm around her. Their bodies fit perfectly together, just like spoons.

Rey lets out a content sigh, and it’s the best sound Finn's ever heard. He feels her relax into his arms and listens as her breathing becomes even and slow. It’s been a long day, and now that he has Rey in his arms, all he wants to do is rest. He knows he has to stay awake though, to keep watch in case something happens again.

At that thought, he hears Alia’s voice inside his head, her words tinged with gentle amusement. “Sleep now, knightling. I’ll keep watch tonight.”

Finn tries to project back gratitude, but has no idea if it reaches Alia or not. The last thing he hears, before falling into a well-earned sleep, is Rey murmuring, “Thank you, friend," into the quiet dark.


	10. These Are Your First Steps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter dedicated to the amazing @conn8d for her patience and brilliance in helping me brainstorm and beta this story. Without her, this fic would never have come to be. Thank you, friend. Thanks also to @fallsouthwinter for the chapter beta!

****Halfway across the galaxy, Kylo Ren sleeps.

He'd fled to the Supreme Leader's temple after he ran from Rey, asking for guidance in the steadiest voice he could manage. Snoke dismissed him immediately.

“Rey is your penultimate test,” Snoke had said. “One that _you_ asked for, if I recall correctly.” He sneered at Kylo’s petulant expression. “Don’t reward my generosity with sniveling, Kylo Ren. If you prove yourself in this task, and by finishing your mission with Skywalker, it will be time to complete your training. Deal with them and return to me. ”

Kylo had stormed from the temple to his shuttle, setting a course for Mustafar. The rhythm of his fingers tapping out the coordinates to his grandfather’s castle was as familiar as his own ragged breath.

He stayed awake the whole journey - a full standard day, at least - staring into hyperspace as if the void itself might hold the answers he sought. What did you do when you discover the thing you’ve been looking for for years, only to find out it’s the last thing you need? What do you do when you’ve found the missing sister of a dead man?

He’d landed on Mustafar, strode from his ship, and made it as far as the throne room before collapsing. Darth Vader’s old helmet, held tight to his chest like a talisman, rolled across the smooth marble floor, and came to a stop a few feet away. It stayed there, lifeless, staring at him with empty eyes.

There, finally alone on Mustafar, there was no one to drag him into nightmares or memories, so Kylo Ren had finally closed his eyes, and let himself sleep.

*

On Starkiller Base, Rey wakes with a jolt at the sound of an alarm. She panics briefly before remembering where she is, and who she's with. She lets out a happy sigh and relaxes, snuggling deeper into Finn's arms.

Memories of the night before come back piece by piece. She remembers falling through endless nightmares, and then Finn, catching her with gentle hands and bringing her back to herself. She turns to look at him now, and he's awake and smiling.

“Hey you,” he says, his voice husky with sleep.

She gives him a shy smile. “Hey, yourself. Was that your alarm I heard?”

He winces. “Sorry about that. I didn't mean to wake you up.”

“Don't worry about it,” she says, and finds she means it. “It was nice to wake up with you.”

Finn ducks his head shyly and looks up with a bashful grin. “You too.”

His chrono starts beeping again, and he groans. “Time for work. I can meet you back here afterwards for lunch, if you'd like?”

“I’d like you,” Rey murmurs, her voice still dulled by sleep. Then her eyes open wide, realizing what she’d said. “I mean, I’d like that. The lunch thing, that is. I’d like to have lunch. With you.”

She stops rambling, and Finn chuckles at her fondly, and she’s caught off guard by the open affection in his gaze. It’s the same affection she feels for him, blossoming a bit more every time they’re together. A precious flower taking root in the wasteland of her heart.

“I’d like that too,” Finn says. He stands and stretches, and Rey admires the lovely muscles in his arms, the strong curve of his back. He puts on his armor and turns to her before leaving, hesitating at her bedside. “I'll be back in soon,” he says, and places a gentle kiss on her forehead. “Rest until then, okay?”

Rey doesn't need to be told twice.

*

Finn exists the room and runs straight into Alia, who's still standing guard in the hall. “Well done, knightling,” she murmurs, and Finn's chest glows with her quiet praise.

“Now,” Alia says, “onto the hard part. We need to make a plan.”

She presses a button on her comm link and a Doctor Noble appears moments later. The doctor drops them each a bow, and motions them into her office.  

Once they’re inside, Alia glances around the room and waves her hand in a circle over her head. Finn immediately knows - without knowing how - that she’s just disabled all recording equipment within earshot.

They sit, and Alia watches the doctor for a long moment, her gaze intense. The doctor taps out a nervous beat on the side of her leg while she waits.

“We’re all thinking the same thing,” Alia says without preamble. “So I'll just say it. Kylo Ren is a sadist, and none of us want to see that girl in there thrown to his mercy in the state she’s currently in. He’s going to get his hands on her one way or the other. We all know that. But if she’s in better condition, she’ll at least have the ability to defend herself.”

The doctor’s eyes open wide, but she doesn’t deny the truth in Alia’s words. “How can I best serve the Knights of Ren in this matter?” she says, cautiously.

“For one thing, we need to figure out how to keep her calm. Judging by what I saw last night, she’s not in a great state of mind. I’m no medic, but I’m guessing that her body won’t heal as quickly if she’s this agitated all the time?”

“The research does suggest that a patient’s state of mind can affect the physical healing process, yes,” the doctor responds, still carefully neutral. “I’m at a loss for what to do though. The medbay isn’t exactly the best place for peace of mind, as you can see. It’s a place to heal acute war wounds, and it’s not designed for long-term recovery.”

“No, it isn’t,” Alia muses. “And I’m guessing you can’t discharge her into our care?”

"I can," the doctor says carefully, "But I'd like to monitor her vitals for a few more days, and I can't do that if she leaves the medbay. If anything were to happen to her -"

"I know, I know," Alia says, sounding bored. "If something happens to her, Kylo Ren will kill us all. But keeping her caged isn't working either, clearly."

Finn has a sudden idea, but stops himself short of speaking. Alia notices his shift in expression though, and turns her attention to him.

“You’re good with creative problem solving,” she prompts. “And you know the girl well. What do you think?”

Finn’s chest warms at the confidence in her voice. Lady Alia Ren, second only to Kylo and the Supreme Leader himself, is turning to him for advice. It’s a heady feeling.

“Doctor Noble,” he says slowly, an idea forming in his mind. “Can you monitor Rey from other parts of the medbay?"

“Most of them, yes,” the doctor confirms, her gaze wary on Finn.

“Do you remember the time that I - _came down with Knytix Pox and had to spend a week sequestered in the junior medbay_? he almost says, but stops himself just in time.

_He’d gone nearly crazy in quarantine, stuck by himself with nothing to do. It wasn’t until a much younger Doctor Noble had created a play space for him in an otherwise disused therapy room, stocked with datapads and a few games, that he’d calmed down enough to rest and really heal._

Finn stops himself from saying this, not wanting to reveal who he once was. In a flash, he understands why Kylo Ren keeps his face - and his true identity - hidden at all times. There is power in a name, a face, a past. There’s power in knowing who you really are, and power in controlling who shares that knowledge.

Finn pulls himself from his thoughts and shakes his head. “Nevermind that. Are there any unused rooms in this wing? Anywhere that we could convert into a recreation space for Rey?”

“There are,” the doctor says thoughtfully. “The physical therapy room you visited yesterday hasn’t seen much use in years, with the Knights not being on base much these days. It’s still stocked with equipment though, and it’s big enough to be a multi-use space. Would that work?”

“It would,” Finn says. “I’m sure she’d appreciate any diversions we can give her - holonovels maybe, if she likes to read? But honestly, what she really needs -” he breaks off and glances at Alia, not wanting to overstep his bounds by giving direct orders to the doctor. Alia’s watching him, clearly interested, and she nods for him to continue.

“What Rey really needs is a say in her own life. Last night, she told me she doesn’t know where she is, or why she can’t leave. She sees us as her captors, not as healers.” Finn sees Doctor Noble wince, but he presses on. “I know we can’t tell her much, but we should tell her what we can, and offer her any choices we’re able. If she feels like she has some control, it might stop her nightmares and put her more at ease.”

The room falls into silence while Finn and the doctor turn to Alia for her reaction. Alia taps her chin - a gesture Finn’s used to by now - and Finn can sense her weighing his words.

“We’ve heard from my apprentice,” Alia says at last. “And I value his counsel. What’s your opinion, Doctor?”

"I agree," Doctor Noble says too quickly, glancing nervously between Finn and Alia.

"Come now, doctor," Alia drawls. "I'm not Kylo Ren, and I won't destroy your medbay if you disagree with me. Your professional opinion. Now, please."

Doctor Noble's posture relaxes, and looks thoughtful instead of afraid. Finn realizes, with pride, that she too is weighing his words, testing his wisdom.

“Your apprentice's suggestions are sound, Lady Alia,” she says at last. “I do have a treatment plan already in place, but I’ll sit down with Rey and talk her through it. Perhaps if she’s has a voice in her own recovery, she’ll be a more willing patient. 

“There are small choices we can offer her as well, even within the confines of our orders. For instance, I’m fitting her with a mobility device today, but there are several different options she can choose from. She’s been eating well and keeping food down, so I can widen her menu options as well. They’re small choices, but they may help.”

“It’s a start,” Alia says, nodding thoughtfully, as the doctor continues.

“As far as the rest of the suggestions, you can set up whatever you like in the treatment room upstairs, as long as it can’t be weaponized. We do have to keep her safe, after all, and I’d rather not have her destroying another ten thousand credits worth of medical equipment.” 

Alia raises an eyebrow at Finn, a look that clearly says, _little does she know that_ anything _can be weaponized, if you’re creative enough_ , but she says only, “A sound plan. Thank you, doctor.”

She stands, and Finn and the doctor follow suit. “My apprentice and I have business to attend to. We’ll return by noon to have lunch with the girl.” With that, she leaves the room, Finn hard on her heels.

Alia strides through the medbay and stops at the end of the hall, one hand on the door that leads to the base beyond. She smiles, and it’s the grin of a snake coiled to strike. “Today, my apprentice, is going to be an _excellent_ day.”

*

Finn and Alia spend the first hour sparring, a habit they’ve fallen into easily. By the end of the hour they’re both panting and grinning, and Finn feels more alive than he had just hours before.

They grab a quick breakfast and head to the hydro-domes, the great glass greenhouses Finn had passed a few nights ago - was it really only two nights ago? - when he and Alia first met. It was the same night that he’d met Rey, and she had given him a name, and Alia had invited him into this dizzying new life.

Together they step inside the greenhouse, and Finn instantly feels an odd current of energy he’s never felt before. It’s not a _new_ energy exactly, but it’s stronger and stranger than he’s used to, like hearing a familiar song sung in a different key.

He looks to Alia for clarification, but she only quirks an eyebrow at him. He understands her message at once: she wants him to figure this out on his own.

Finn accepts her challenge and steps into the center of the great domed room, closing his eyes and imagining himself as a tree, rooted firmly in the earth below. He reaches out with his senses, and listens to the notes that the plants all around him are singing, a strange but lovely cacophony in the Force.

He senses something else too, something more than just the song of the plants. Something that doesn’t quite fit. He’s reminded of the logic tests that Doctor Noble used to give him, and tries to filter through what he knows. How might these puzzle pieces fit together?

He opens his eyes to find Alia watching him with a shuttered gaze. She flicks her eyes once, from him to the wall, the tiniest of clues. And suddenly, Finn gets it.

On Starkiller Base, even in a hydro-dome as massive as this one, no plants should be able to grow. The sun is too weak, and it would take an incredible amount of artificial heat and light to make it possible. The First Order is extravagant, but they're also efficient. They wouldn’t waste so many resources on a single greenhouse.

There must be something else then, that made the existence of these blooming plants possible. Something, even, that makes the plants sing in a beautiful harmony.

Finn gasps in realization. What he’s feeling isn’t just the plants; it’s the Force itself, wrapped around them somehow. The Force is stronger here than anywhere else on base, stronger, even than the whirlwind of Rey’s wild dreams the night before.

“Very good,” Alia says, her mouth betraying only a tiny quirk. “You’re almost there.”

“But...how is this possible? Why is the Force so strong, only in here?” Finn’s teetering just on the brink of realization, not yet able to see over the edge.

“Use your eyes this time,” Alia says, and her words meld with the invisible melody surrounding them both.

Finn does. He walks around the greenhouse, examining each flower, berry and tree as he goes. But no, the Force he’s feeling isn’t coming from the plants themselves; it’s only been reflected by them, like the moon reflects the sun. No. The Force he’s sensing is coming from the glass itself.

He gives a soft gasp and walks over to the nearest glass wall, touching it with reverence. “It’s made out of kyber crystals,” he says in realization and awe.

“Kyber dust,” Alia corrects. “Not even the First Order has the resources to create an entire greenhouse of kyber crystals. They grind them into dust, and mix the dust in with the glass. The result is what you see before you.”

Finn closes his eyes and reaches out to the Force once again. He sees it clearly now, the way the current flows through the room in currents and eddies, hurried along by the kyber-infused glass on all sides. “It’s beautiful,” he breathes.

“It is,” is all Alia says simply. “And more importantly, you now know how to seek out kyber crystals. From now on you’ll recognize their unique Force signature.”

 _I will?_ Finn thinks in amazement. Only days ago he’d been a Stormtrooper with no future to speak of. Now he’s standing next to a powerful Knight, and he’s learning the most amazing things. “Will I be building my own lightsaber soon?” he asks, voice tinged with hope.

“Indeed,” Alia says. “The crystals you’ll use are already on world, tucked away as a test of sorts. We're going off world tonight, to see my weaponsmith and get you properly fitted for armor. But when we return you may search to your heart’s content.”

Finn’s eyes light up at the fresh challenge. _His own lightsaber? That he gets to seek out and build for himself?_

He has to work very, very hard to not jump in the air and let out a whoop of glee in right then and there.

*

Back in the medbay, Rey listens as the doctor talks her through treatment options, offering her several mobility devices to choose from. It’s the first real choice Rey’s been given since she arrived, and the first time anyone but Finn has treated her like a person, not a prisoner.

Minutes later she’s on her feet for the first time in days, fitted with an extensive leg brace that is - she has to admit - rather amazing. The material is strong but flexible, and it’s designed to sense her needs and react accordingly.

For example, today is her first day back on her feet, so her brace will take most of her weight until she’s used to walking again. Over the next few weeks as she grows stronger, the brace will self-adjust to her ability level, allowing her to rebuild the muscles that were torn during her fall on Jakku.

It’s a brilliant device, really, and she instantly asks Doctor Noble for another one, to take it apart and see how it works. The doctor laughs and tells her it’s far too expensive for that, but that she has other things Rey can play with if she wants.

True to her word, the doctor reappears minutes later with a toolkit and a smile. She hands Rey a dented robotic arm, and tells her she can take it apart to her heart’s content.

Rey starts fiddling with the tools immediately, deconstructing the limb to see what it’s made of. She’s so immersed in her task that she doesn’t hear her door open. She doesn’t see the hooded figure crossing the room, and by the time she finally looks up, a stranger is looming over her, tall and foreboding, clothed in the unmistakable robes of the Knights of Ren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for reading and commenting! Your support means so much.


	11. The Ladies of Ren

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to @conn8d and @kanjiklubgottold for their brilliance, encouragement, and inspiration for this story. It truly wouldn't exist without them.

Rey looks up, confused. The figure in front of her is wearing Finn’s robe - midnight blue with three golden stars - but the energy is all wrong.

Too late, Rey opens her mouth to call for help. She only has time to gasp before an orange and white hand reaches out to cup her cheek, and an unfamiliar voice gives her a command, softly spoken, but laced with suggestive power of the Force: “Sleep, young one. And Remember.”

*

Rey dreams an old memory, a forgotten moment from a day long gone. She’s in a child’s bedroom and a man with dark hair - her father, the realizes with a jolt - is dancing in front of her, singing a made-up tune with nonsense words.

Rey’s in a small bed, propped against soft pillows, and she’s laughing as she watches the man’s antics. A lanky boy lurks in the doorway, all elbows and sharp angles. His mouth’s doing something complicated as it fights between a grin and a scowl.

“Benny!” Rey hears her tiny self call. “Benny come sing!”

At that, Ben does smile. He slinks into the room, and sits on her bed, ruffling her hair as he does. “I can’t sing this song, munchkin. I don’t know it.”

She leans toward him, conspiratorial. “I don’t think dad knows it either. He’s very bad.”

“Hey!” her father says, pulling an offended face. “Who are you calling bad?”

“Why don’t we sing Mirrorbright?” Ben suggests. “It’s mom’s favorite.”

Rey claps tiny hands in delight. “Momma!” she calls out, through the open door to the unseen room beyond. “Come sing with us!”

Ben starts by humming a low note, and their father joins in. Together, they create a lovely harmony with a lilting beat.

Then Rey's mother appears at the door. She closes her eyes, clearly enjoying the music, and then yelps when the dark haired man pulls her into his arms. They waltz around the room, laughing, and Ben continues to sing, and little Rey smiles at the sight of them all.

Current-day Rey lets herself get pulled into their warmth, their familiarity, their peace. For just a moment, she lets herself feel safe. And that’s when it hits.

A resounding _boom_ shakes the dream, although Rey - adult Rey, asleep and unguarded on an enemy base - is _sure_ that there was no earthquake in this memory. Nevertheless the dream bedroom tilts and spins. And then Rey’s watching, frozen, as an impossibly tall figure with a crackling red saber stalks into the room.

No one in the memory seems to notice him - they are but fragments of her mind, after all - but that doesn’t stop the hooded figure from slicing them in half, one by one, bringing their singing to a sudden, horrible stop.

Rey, trapped in the memory of her 5 year old self, shrinks back from the figure in terror.

Then she does something she’s never done before. She stands up. Even with the extra height of her kid bed, she has to stand on her toes to try to catch a glimpse of the eyes behind the hated mask. But she is too short, and, already, the dream mirage is fading.

Still, she puts all of her might into her next words, “I don’t know who you are, but you are a monster, and I will stop you.”

The masked creature laughs, hollow and chilling. Then, as Rey glares up at him, ready to meet her end with her head held high, something _shoves_ the monster across the room, away from Rey.

The dream is still fading, the edges softening and colors dissolving to a single, ethereal blue. But before it leaves her mind entirely, Rey is able to get a glimpse of who - or what - saved her from the masked man.

It’s a ghost, shimmering grey blue, handsome and young with sorrow in his eyes. Then he’s gone, fading away with the rest of the dream.

*

In the First Order medbay, Rey wakes with a gasp. She looks around in panicked fright, reaching for her commlink on instinct. She doesn't remember typing in Finn’s frequency, but he’s suddenly speaking out of her link, and she’s gasping his name, gasping for help.  

“Rey?” he says, voice full of concern. “What happened? Are you in danger?”

Rey nods, before realizing what a futile gesture that was. “I am,” she says. “Or I was. I don’t know.” Her head’s still spinning and she feels dizzy, sick. She leans over the side of the bed to wretch.

“I’ll be right there,” Finn says, and he is. Minutes later he’s opening the door, his breathing heavy as he rushes to Rey and sweeps her up in his arms.

He pulls back from the embrace and takes her head in his hands, looking her over. Scanning her eyes for signs of head trauma, Rey realizes belatedly. Or, maybe, just reassuring himself that she is okay.

“I’m okay now,” she whispers, much like he’d said to her just last night. She needs the reassurance just as much as he does.

Finn sets her back on the bed and joins her, asking what happened. Rey shakes her head, unable to explain it. She’s not sure what was real, and what wasn’t. She’s knows that some of the last hour was a dream, but even _that_ felt more real that most things did these days.

She makes a stumbling attempt to explain all this to Finn, who holds her hands and strokes soothing little circles with his thumbs. He listens, looking both confused and concerned. Then he comms Doctor Noble, who appears moments later.

“I need the holovid footage of this room. Now."

“Right away,” the doctor murmurs. She ducks into her office and returns with a holopad, hitting a few buttons and handing it to Finn.

He thanks her distractedly, and then leans in, alongside Rey, to watch the footage play out.

He sees Rey getting fitted for her brace, sees the doctor bringing her mechanical gadgets to play with. Then, he sees what he’s looking for: a figure in robes just like Alia’s, extending a hand to Rey’s temple. On the holovid, Rey goes limp, and strangely, the figure reaches out to catch Rey before she falls, clearing away her project and laying her gently on the bed.

Then, the knight leaves, and Rey’s alone in the room. She’s clearly dreaming; her face moves in her sleep, whispering words and smiling at times. Then, just like in the dream, Rey hears herself yell into the empty room, “You are a monster, and I will stop you.” Then she watches herself wake, and call for Finn.

Now, Finn types a message to the doctor, asking who the visitor had been. Doctor Noble replies that she doesn’t know, just that she used Alia’s access code, and told the doctor to stay clear of the room.

“Finn,” Rey hisses, eyes wide, “What’s going on?”

Finn sighs, rubs a weary hand over his eyes. He has no idea what just happened in the medbay, but he knows he owes Rey some answers, and better sooner than later. “I think it’s time for us to talk.”

*

Finn worries as he stands and offers a hand to Rey. Worries as he informs the doctor that he’s taking Rey to the therapy room upstairs. He worries as he leads Rey down the hall and into the turbolift, toward the single spot on base they will finally be able to talk freely.

He has so much to tell her, and he can only hope that it’s not too late. He can only hope he won’t destroy the precious trust that’s been growing between them.

Finn doesn’t even realize he’s breathing hard, clenching his jaw and tapping his foot, until Rey slips a tentative hand in his, and he feels the pressure in his chest loosen, just a little.

“Are you okay?” she whispers, looking at him with worry in her eyes.

He sighs, and gives the most honest answer he can with holocams recording his every word: “I hope so.”

*

Finn pulls the emergency lever just before the elevator reaches the top floor, and Rey watches curiously as he runs his fingers along the turbolift wall, as if looking for an invisible seam. Sure enough, a soft click sounds and a panel swings open to reveal a dimly lit hallway beyond.

“After you,” Finn says, a gleam in his eye.

Rey steps into the dark tunnel, more curious than afraid. Finn climbs in behind her - his body close enough to make her breath come fast and her cheeks heat - and then hits a hidden button to close the panel and send the elevator away.

“Alright it’s going to be dark for a minute,” Finn says, breath hot and close, “but it will be worth it.”

He presses something cold and cylindrical into Rey’s palm, and she holds it up, surprised to see that it glows at her touch. They follow the stone tunnel up a short flight of stairs, ending at, well, nothing.

“It’s a trap door,” Finn whispers, squeezing close beside her on the top step and feeling for the latch. “You know how there are cameras in every room around here? So we’re always watching what we say?”

Rey nods, her curious face lit blue by the softly glowing stone.

“Well, I’ve finally found a place we can actually talk.”

A latch clicks, and then there’s light from above, and Finn’s helping Rey into one of the most beautiful rooms she’s ever seen. It’s a round, glass dome, filled with green leafy plants in terracotta pots, and a dazzling view of a pink and purple sunset sky.

“It’s beautiful,” Rey breathes. “What is it? And where are we? What time is it?”

Finn’s chest warms with her praise, glad that he’s brought her some joy in this desolate place. Then he answers her questions one at a time. “It’s a greenhouse for medicinal herbs; special access only, as you’ve seen. It’s just before noon on Starkiller Base - yes, that’s where we are, thank the Force I can finally tell you. Starkiller goes through two rotations in a standard day cycle, so the sun sets at both midnight and noon. It’s just before noon right now.”

Rey walks to the window - fairly smoothly, Finn notices, as he admires her new leg brace - and puts her face against the glass.

“It's beautiful,” Rey says, then turns back to Finn with a wink. “Just like you.”

Finn’s face turns to flame and he grins a goofy smile. He looks around for a distraction, so that he doesn’t just stand there grinning like a fool and staring at the most beautiful person he’s ever seen.

“Oh! I forgot!” he says suddenly, striding over to a wooden bench where he’d stashed their picnic lunch earlier. “I brought food.” Rey’s eyes light up, and Finn’s glad to see that no matter how scared she was earlier, she clearly still has an appetite. Her excitement is contagious, and he grins too. “Shall we?”

Rey follows, sitting beside him on a cushioned bench and peering into the basket with interest. She closes her eyes and inhales the scent of freshly baked bread with cheese and berries, her features melting into ecstasy. Finn has to work very, very hard not to stare as she bites into a bread roll and lets out a small moan.

They eat in easy silence, watching the sun disappear over the mountain peaks. Every once in awhile Rey hums, closing her eyes and rocking a little as she enjoys her food. The sight is so sensual it makes Finn squirm, repositioning himself as his pants grow a little too tight.

“So how does one become a First Order soldier, anyway?” Rey asks when they’ve finished. “I’ve always wondered that.”

Finn stills, but keeps his features nonchalant. “They,” he pauses, putting disdain in his next word, “ _choose_ us from families they deem special, and take us away, never to be seen again.”

Rey’s eyes go wide, snapping to his. “That’s horrible! I had no idea. So this wasn’t your choice? Your career path at the academy or something?”

“Nope. I was kidnapped, just like the rest.”

“I’m so sorry,” she whispers.

He shrugs, uncomfortable. “It’s life, I suppose. I don’t know any different.”

He notices that the sun has set now, and, happy for a distraction, he moves to the ground, motioning for Rey to join him. She does and they lay side by side, watching the stars that are spilling like salt across the darkening sky.

“I used to stargaze with my family,” Rey says softly, a hint of surprise in her voice, as if she’d only just remembered it herself.

“My mom - I don’t remember her much - but she used to tell me bedtime stories about her favorite constellations. She’d tell me the histories of each star, and how many light years away they were. Then my dad would butt in and say, ‘I think that one looks like a wookie. Don’t you, kid?’”

Rey laughs, and Finn joins in. “I used to do that too,” Finn adds, voice animated. “My friend Slip and I used to sneak up to the top floor, when we were - I don’t know, fifteen? - Anyway. We’d climb up to see the night sky, and we’d make up all sorts of stories about the stars. See that one?” he points. “According to Slip, that’s a three headed monster who spews fire when no one’s looking.”

Rey laughs, and the sound is like sunlight, breaking over snow-capped mountains. “What’s that one?” she asks, pointing to another star cluster.

“A rathtar chasing it’s tail, of course,” Finn says with mock solemnity.

“And this one?” Rey asks, pointing to a long, straight line of stars.

“The giant stick Hux always has up his ass.”

Rey lets out a giant snort of laughter, and Finn can’t help but find it adorable. “You’re really lovely, you know,” he says softly.

She looks at him, curious. There’s a teasing tone in her voice when she asks, “You like a girl that snorts when she laughs?”

He shrugs. “I like you,” he says simply.

She studies his face, and tentatively slips her hand into his. “I like you too.”

Finn suddenly remembers that has so much to tell her, and he knows that now is the time. He props himself on an elbow and leans in out of habit, even though, for once, there’s no one to overhear them.

“Rey, I have to tell you something -”

But he doesn’t get the chance, because she’s kissing him, and his brain shorts out. Rey’s hands are on his neck, cool and grounding, and her teeth are playfully grazing his lip, and he suddenly forgets what he was going to say. He leans into her, melting into the moment. His free hand grips her hip, then trails up her side, lingering on every inch of her as he goes.

When he reaches her face, he cups her cheek and deepens the kiss, swiping his tongue into her mouth. Rey groans, raw and deep, and Finn’s pants are instantly tight again. Then Rey’s nudging him, coaxing him to sit up and straddle her waist.

As he leans back down to recapture her lips, Rey growls like a starving thing, and Finn knows exactly how she feels. He’s running on instinct, as if he’s always known how to do this, and he can think of nothing but the two of them in this perfect frozen moment under the stars.  

Then reality comes crashing back in, in the form of Alia Ren. Finn _feels_ the moment when she checks the medbay, and realizes that he and Rey are gone. He feels Alia’s Force-energy as she casts out for him, then finds him, then heads straight for him, a mix of emotions swirling through her signature.

“Shit,” Finn said, and flinches when he saw the hurt look on Rey’s face. “Oh, I didn’t mean it like that,” he says, cupping her face and looking her in the eyes. “I could kiss you forever and die happy, believe me. But right now, if we both want to survive, there are some things that you need to know.”

*

Rey listens with dawning horror as Finn describes the reality of her situation. If she’s hearing him right, the First Order isn’t just guns and government and troops, but Force users too. Powerful ones, like the one she had a run in with this morning.

“How many?” she asks, her voice a dry whisper. “And what do they want with me?”

“Five that I know of,” Finn answers, thinking of the five empty rooms in the Knight’s quarters. “Though probably more. As for what they want with you, I don’t know.”

“Alright…” Rey racks her overwhelmed brain for useful questions. From the look on Finn’s face, they clearly have no time to waste. “Do you know anything else about them? The Force users, I mean?”

“Not much. I know that one of them is really, really powerful. As in, the stuff of legends. They call him the Supreme Leader, but I’ve only heard about him in rumors. I’m,” he winces, “working for another of the Knights. Lady Alia Ren.”

Rey’s face scrunches in confusion, then lights up in comprehension. “You’re spying on me.”

Finn winces, unable to deny the truth of it. “I would have told you sooner if I could, but every inch of this place is bugged. I never meant to lie to you, Rey. Please believe me.”

Rey’s smile softens, and she takes his hands, kissing each of his palms in turn. “I believe you,” she says simply.

“You do?” Finn blinks.

Rey laughs. “I know that things are fucked up around here, this being a military base and all, and you being a conscripted soldier since birth. I know that sometimes there aren’t any good options, just the least bad ones.”

Finn listens, barely breathing. Is she really saying...

“You just wanted to protect me, right?” Rey continues. “To stay close by while I heal?”

Finn nods.

“And you brought me up here to tell me? The first chance you got?”

He nods again.

She studies his face, then shrugs. “Growing up in the desert, you learn how to read people,” she pauses. “And you have kind eyes. I trust you. Well, as much as I’m likely to trust another person at all right now. Which is saying something. If anyone in this place is lying to stay by my side, I’m glad that it’s you.”

Finn lets out a breath he’d been holding for days.

“So what now?” she asks. “Now that I know all this super secret information?”

“Now,” Finn says, “You picture your favorite element, and we teach you how to shield your mind.”

*

Reys thoughts are safely hidden within a whirling sandstorm when Alia’s head finally pokes up through the trapdoor.

Finn and Rey stand at once. Rey steps forward, putting herself between the newcomer and Finn, ready to fight even though all she has is a plastic fork to defend them with. Finn touches her arm lightly, a silent _it’s okay_ , and Rey relaxes, just a fraction.

“Sit,” Alia says, striding more fully into the room, but neither of them move. Rey's still crouched, ready to attack at any moment.

Finn looks between the two of them, clearly worried. Then he clears his throat.

“Lady Alia Ren, may I present Rey.”

“- Organa,” Rey finishes for him, the memory returning even as she speaks. She hasn’t thought about her full name in years, but now it rolls easily off her tongue. “Breha Rey Organa.”

Two pairs of eyes turn to her in shock.

“What?” Rey asks, startled by the sudden attention.

“You’re…” Alia breathes.

“The missing Organa,” Finn finishes. “Rey, you’re a legend.”

Then Alia, refined lady of the Knights of Ren, puts her head in her hands and says, “Well shit.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fic Announcements 7.20.17: The story rating has been changed to E, and things are gonna get explicit in the next few chapters, so just a heads up.
> 
> Also, I'm going to ret-con Alia Ren's appearance; I had a particular thing in mind when I created her but the direction has changed. [Here's a moodboard of her appearance](https://the-bi-writer.tumblr.com/post/163232613255/there-is-no-redemption-here-a-finnrey-knights-of), and I'll go back and update/work in a proper description of her into the story. 
> 
> The next chapter will be out on Finnrey Friday! I'm on [tumblr](https://the-bi-writer.tumblr.com/) if you want to say hi in the meantime. 
> 
> What did you think of Finn and Rey's first kiss?


	12. The Greenhouse (SFW version)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn, Rey, and Alia deal with aftermath of secrets revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _This chapter, The Greenhouse, has two versions with the same plot:_   
>  _This chapter (chapter 12) is minor friendly and safe for work._   
>  _Next chapter (chapter 13) is the same major events, but with more emotional complications, angst, and explicit (and probably emotionally unhealthy) sex. Choose your own adventure!_

Head still in her hands, Alia’s brain spins, struggling to make sense of this new information. _I should have put it together sooner,_ she thinks, annoyed at her own lack of focus. Like the rest of the galaxy, she had thought Breha Organa dead, perished in the kidnapping that left her brother scarred and her parents haunted.

But no. Here the girl was, a decade and a half later, still alive and whole, if not a little worse for the wear. The lost Organa in the flesh. And she’s looking to Alia, asking for answers that Alia’s not sure she should give.

Not for the first time, Alia curses the day she brought Ben Organa before Snoke.

*

“I’m what now?” Rey asks again, face scrunched in confusion, looking between Finn and Alia. “Do you know my family?”

Alia sighs and rubs her temples. “Your parents are Resistance scum, so no. Not the type I usually associate with.”

“They’re alive,” Rey breathes, her mind racing. “But...why didn’t they come for me? Why did they stop looking?”

Rey looks to Finn for answers, but he appears to be just as lost as she is. He only shakes his head, his eyes still dazed.

“And my brother?” Rey asks Alia. “Where is he?”  

“Your brother’s long gone,” Alia replies without emotion. “Kylo Ren made sure of that.”

The world stops, and Rey can’t breathe. _Kylo Ren._ She knows the name of course; she’s heard whispered tales of the masked knight wielding a deadly, crimson saber. But she never thought -

“Ben’s dead?” she whispers, and Alia nods once, sharp and sure.

Rey gasps in sudden understanding and comprehension. _Her dream._ So Kylo Ren was the monster in her dream, and he had gotten to her family after all.

Rey lets this sink in, the terrible truth of it all splitting her in two like earth pulled apart in a quake. Pain pours out through every fissure. She closes her eyes, remembering how Kylo had looked in the dream - towering and hateful, cloaked in the robes of the Knights of Ren. When she opens her eyes, Alia’s in front of her, wearing the same robes, and instinct kicks in.

Rey screams out her grief and lunges for Alia, eyes wild and nails poised to tear flesh. Finn grabs her holds her back as she screams at Alia, or the Force, or at no one. “You killed him,” Rey’s shrieking. “He was my brother, and you _killed him.”_

“I didn’t,” Alia says plainly. “The Knights were involved, yes, but it was Kylo Ren who dealt the killing blow.”

Rey continues to struggle and scream, twisting against Finn’s firm grip. Then Alia gives an elegant flick of her wrist, and Rey goes instantly rigid in Finn’s arms, suddenly silent and eerily still.

Regret flashes once across Alia’s guarded face. Then she schools her expression into a mask of bland indifference once more, turning to Finn. “Get this _child_ ,” she sneers, “under control. Then meet me downstairs for training.”

Rey, struggling against invisible Force bonds, glares fire.

Alia considers her cooly. “I abide neither tantrums nor disrespect, and I don’t care for your attitude. However, if you can calm yourself, you may join us for training,” she pauses delicately. “You clearly need it.”

Then she turns, and with a swoosh of her robes, she’s gone.

*

Rey falls to the ground the second Alia leaves the room, suddenly released from the Force bond. Finn catches her but she shoves him away, stumbling and moaning.

Rey’s crackling energy is crazed. Her eyes, as they scan the greenhouse, hold the fury of a trapped tiger. She still clearly wants to lash out, but with nowhere left to aim that anger, her trapped fury starts to shake the very Force around them.

 _Shit,_ Finn thinks. The last thing they need is a repeat of last night’s earthquake in the medbay. Rey’s emotions are strong, and the raw Force around is stronger. The two combined could be deadly.

All around them, plants in ceramic pots begin to rise into the air, buzzing in place with the energy of bombs ready to explode. Then, they do. Shards fly in all directions and Finn hits the deck, taking Rey with him. He lands under her expertly, softening her fall, then rolls over to cover her body with his.

Underneath him, Rey shakes and sobs, as the world above them splinters. Soil and plants flying everywhere as their containers burst open, sending debris raining down.

Finn tries to shush Rey, to calm her, but she’s shaking violently, her anger physically racking her body now.

“I’m here,” Finn says over and over, touching her face, searching her wild eyes. “I’ve got you. I’ve got you.” But his presence is no longer enough. The night before, his touch had pulled her from her nightmares, but now the world itself is the horror, and there was nothing he can do. For the first time Finn’s frightened not for Rey, but of her.

There’s nothing Finn can do but wait it out, so he does. He hums a tuneless song, adding in nonsense words just to calm his own rising panic. He has no idea what he’ll do if this somehow gets _worse,_ so he holds her close, choosing to believe that it will be okay, because it’s the only way he knows how to survive this moment.

*

The world around Rey explodes as she screams, and then she’s falling, held under a familiar weight, and she’s struggling against the horror of it all.

Her brother.

Her brother.

Her brother was dead.

Ben had been the one memory she’d kept of her childhood, locked away in her heart all these years. Even after the harsh sandstorms of Jakku had washed away the memory of her parents, and Rey had forgotten what love and family were, she’d remembered Ben’s smiles. His protective nature, his playful words. He was the one memoried that tied her to her to her own past.

And now he’s gone, and Rey’s trapped by his captors.

Rey allows herself a dangerous indulgence - she slips into wishes and _what ifs_?

Ben must have been a Jedi when they killed him, Rey muses, slowly remembering more details of her childhood, as she had ever since her morning dream. Had they captured and tortured him first? Given him the chance to join the First Order, only to kill him when he refused?

She would hold onto that image, Rey decided. An image of Ben Organa standing tall and proud, spitting on the evil that is the First Order, keeping his smile sharp and his eyes defiant until the very last. Just like she had in her dream that morning.

 _You are a monster, and I will kill you_ , she had said to the masked man. The dream hadn’t made any sense at the time, but now it did. The man with the red lightsaber was Kylo Ren, come to cut away even the memory of her lost family.

“I hate him,” she growls out loud, low and deadly. “Kylo Ren will die for this.”

Her anger surrounds her, blocking out all other awareness, all other light.

No, she realizes, finally coming back to herself - something _above_ her is blocking out the once-bright starlight. Something...flying.

All at once Rey comes back to herself, and realizes what’s happening. What _she’s making happen._ Now aware of her own body, she feels Finn above her, hot and close. “Finn?” she whispers, as if waking from another dream. “What’s happening?”

“Thank the Force,” he says, looking down at her. He looks exhausted, but his eyes are gentle as they meet hers. “You need to calm down.”

 _I - what?_ Rey thinks, distractedly. “Why is the world flying?” she asks, still trying to figure out what’s going on.

“Because you’re upset,” Finn says. “I need you to calm down for me. Can you do that?”

Rey shakes her head, uncertain that she’ll ever feel calm again. She starts to sink back into the memory of her conversation with Alia, the revelation that Ben was -

“Rey,” Finn says again. He’s touching her face now, and it’s this touch that brings her back to herself. “I’ve got you,” he says. “You’re okay. But I need you to take a deep breath, okay?”

“Okay,” she whispers, and then, because she trusts Finn, she breathes. She breathes. She breathes. When she opens her eyes again, she sees that the tornado above them is slowly coming back to earth, covering the room in clay, dirt, and leaves.

Finn presses a kiss to her forehead, and she looks up at him, some of the pain melting away. This man, so open and honest is here with her, protecting her, even when she doesn’t deserve it. When she’s done nothing but push him away. He kisses her again, on her cheek this time, and, in spite of everything, she smiles at the way his lips tickle her skin.

He pulls back and meets her eyes, and suddenly, she’s filled with nothing but _want._ She rises up to meet Finn’s lips, greedy and urgent, and he meets her with just as much passion. Rey teases his lips open, moaning in relish as Finn swipes his tongue into her mouth. Then she’s falling into him, into their kiss, into this moment and no other.

Finn breaks the kiss and pulls back, breathing hard.

“Finn I need you,” she says, and her voice is raw from screaming and her face is streaked with dirt and tears. All she wants in the galaxy, is to lose herself in Finn as he buries himself in her. But he’s shaking his head, standing up and turning away from her.

The rejection cuts her in two, but then he’s kneeling beside her again, taking her hands and helping her to her feet. Once they’re both upright, he cups her face and leans his forehead on hers, just holding her there. Grounding her.

“Rey,” he says, so softly that they’re the only two people in the galaxy again. “I love you. And I want you so fucking bad. But not here. Not like this.”

“Okay,” she says, trusting him as always. She feels his hands on her face and realizes that he’s wiping away her tears.

“So what now?” she whispers. For the first time she looks around them at the ruined greenhouse, and she gasps at the sight of so much destruction. “I did this?”

Finn, nods, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, looking at her with a strange mixture of fear and pride.

“Alia was right,” Rey says, surprising even herself.

“Of course I was,” an amused voice from the doorway says. “I generally am.” Alia Ren walks into the room, surveying the damage without emotion. “Did you get it out of your system?” she asks Rey at last.

Rey doesn’t know what to say, so she nods. She’s exhausted to the point of numbness, overwhelmed and drained. She’s willing to accept any ally right now, even one that wears the robes of a murderer.  

“Good,” Alia says. “Then come with me. It’s time to properly introduce you to the Force.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright! Check out chap 13 if you want to read that again with some steamy sex, or skip to 14 if you wanna carry on with the plot!


	13. The Greenhouse (EXPLICIT version)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn, Rey, and Alia deal with aftermath of secrets revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains non graphic violence, and graphic (probably emotionally unhealthy) sex. Let's earn that "E" rating, shall we? ;) 
> 
> Love and gratitude to [conn8d](http://archiveofourown.org/users/conn8d/pseuds/conn8d) and [some_where](http://archiveofourown.org/users/some_where/pseuds/some_where) for their support and beta help on this fic.

Head still in her hands, Alia’s brain spins, struggling to make sense of this new information.  _I should have put it together sooner,_ she thinks, annoyed at her own lack of focus. Like the rest of the galaxy, she had thought Breha Organa dead, perished in the kidnapping that left her brother scarred and her parents haunted.

But no. Here the girl was, a decade and a half later, still alive and whole, if not a little worse for the wear. The lost Organa in the flesh. And she’s looking to Alia, asking for answers that Alia’s not sure she should give.

Not for the first time, Alia curses the day she brought Ben Organa before Snoke.

*

“I’m what now?” Rey asks again, face scrunched in confusion, looking between Finn and Alia. “Do you know my family?”

Alia sighs and rubs her temples. “Your parents are Resistance scum, so no. Not the type I usually associate with.”

“They’re alive,” Rey breathes, her mind racing. “But...why didn’t they come for me? Why did they stop looking?”

Rey looks to Finn for answers, but he appears to be just as lost as she is. He only shakes his head, his eyes still dazed.

“And my brother?” Rey asks Alia. “Where is he?”  

“Your brother’s long gone,” Alia replies without emotion. “Kylo Ren made sure of that.”

The world stops, and Rey can’t breathe.  _Kylo Ren._ She knows the name of course; she’s heard whispered tales of the masked knight wielding a deadly, crimson saber. But she never thought -

“Ben’s dead?” she whispers, and Alia nods once, sharp and sure.

Rey gasps in sudden understanding and comprehension.  _Her dream._ So Kylo Ren was the monster in her dream, and he had gotten to her family after all.

Rey lets this sink in, the terrible truth of it all splitting her in two like earth pulled apart in a quake. Pain pours out through every fissure. She closes her eyes, remembering how Kylo had looked in the dream - towering and hateful, cloaked in the robes of the Knights of Ren. When she opens her eyes, Alia’s in front of her, wearing the same robes, and instinct kicks in.

Rey screams out her grief and lunges for Alia, eyes wild and nails poised to tear flesh. Finn grabs her holds her back as she screams at Alia, or the Force, or at no one. “You killed him,” Rey’s shrieking. “He was my brother, and you  _killed him.”_

“I didn’t,” Alia says plainly. “The Knights were involved, yes, but it was Kylo Ren who dealt the killing blow.”

Rey continues to struggle and scream, twisting against Finn’s firm grip. Then Alia gives an elegant flick of her wrist, and Rey goes instantly rigid in Finn’s arms, suddenly silent and eerily still.

Regret flashes once across Alia’s guarded face. Then she schools her expression into a mask of bland indifference once more, turning to Finn. “Get this  _child_ ,” she sneers, “under control. Then meet me downstairs for training.”

Rey, struggling against invisible Force bonds, glares fire.

Alia considers her cooly. “I abide neither tantrums nor disrespect, and I don’t care for your attitude. However, if you can calm yourself, you may join us for training,” she pauses delicately. “You clearly need it.”

Then she turns, and with a swoosh of her robes, she’s gone.

*

Rey falls to the ground the second Alia leaves the room, suddenly released from the Force bond. Finn catches her but she shoves him away, stumbling and moaning.

Rey’s crackling energy is crazed. Her eyes, as they scan the greenhouse, hold the fury of a trapped tiger. She still clearly wants to lash out, but with nowhere left to aim that anger, her trapped fury starts to shake the very Force around them.

 _Shit_ , Finn thinks. The last thing they need is a repeat of last night’s earthquake in the medbay. Rey’s emotions are strong, and the raw Force around is stronger. The two combined could be deadly.

All around them, plants in ceramic pots begin to rise into the air, buzzing in place with the energy of bombs ready to explode. Then, they do. Shards fly in all directions and Finn hits the deck, taking Rey with him. He lands under her expertly, softening her fall, then rolls over to cover her body with his.

Underneath him, Rey shakes and sobs, as the world above them splinters. Soil and plants flying everywhere as their containers burst open, sending debris raining down.

Finn tries to shush Rey, to calm her, but she’s shaking violently, her anger physically racking her body now.

“I’m here,” Finn says over and over, touching her face, searching her wild eyes. “I’ve got you. I’ve got you.” But his presence is no longer enough. The night before, his touch had pulled her from her nightmares, but now the world itself is the horror, and there was nothing he can do. For the first time Finn’s frightened not for Rey, but of her.

There’s nothing Finn can do but wait it out, so he does. He hums a tuneless song, adding in nonsense words just to calm his own rising panic. He has no idea what he’ll do if this somehow gets worse, so he holds her close, choosing to believe that it will be okay, because it’s the only way he knows how to survive this moment.

*

The world around Rey explodes as she screams, and then she’s falling, held under a familiar weight, and she’s struggling against the horror of it all.

Her brother.

Her brother.

Her brother was dead.

Ben had been the one memory she’d kept of her childhood, locked away in her heart all these years. Even after the harsh sandstorms of Jakku had washed away the memory of her parents, and Rey had forgotten what love and family were, she’d remembered Ben’s smiles. His protective nature, his playful words. He was the one memory that tied her to her to her own past.

And now he’s gone, and Rey’s trapped by his captors.

Rey allows herself a dangerous indulgence - she slips into wishes and  _what ifs_?

 _Ben must have been a Jedi when they killed him_ , Rey muses, slowly remembering more details of her childhood, as she had ever since her morning dream.  _Did they capture and torture him first? Did they command him to join the First Order, only to kill him when he refused?_

She would hold onto that image, Rey decides. An image of Ben Organa standing tall and proud, spitting on the evil that is the First Order, keeping his smile sharp and his eyes defiant until the very last. Just like she herself had in her dream that morning.

 _You are a monster, and I will kill you_ , Rey had said to the masked man in her dream. The dream hadn’t made any sense at the time, but now it did. The man with the red lightsaber was Kylo Ren, come to cut away even the memory of her lost family.

“I hate him,” she growls out loud, low and deadly. “Kylo Ren will die for this.”

Her anger surrounds her, blocking out all other awareness, all other light.

No, Rey realizes, finally coming back to herself - something  _above_ her is blocking out the once-bright starlight. Something...flying.

All at once Rey comes back to herself, and realizes what’s happening. What  _she’s making happen._ Now aware of her own body, she feels Finn above her, hot and close. “Finn?” she whispers, as if waking from another dream. “What’s happening?”

“Thank the Force,” he says, looking down at her. He looks exhausted, but his eyes are gentle as they meet hers. “You need to calm down.”

 _I - what?_ Rey thinks, distractedly. “Why is the world flying?” she asks, still trying to figure out what’s going on.

“Because you’re upset,” Finn says. “I need you to calm down for me. Can you do that?”

Rey shakes her head, uncertain that she’ll ever feel calm again. She starts to sink back into the memory of her conversation with Alia, the revelation that Ben was -

“Rey,” Finn says again. He’s touching her face now, and it’s this touch that brings her back to herself. “I’ve got you,” he says. “You’re okay. But I need you to take a deep breath, okay?”

“Okay,” she whispers, and then, because she trusts Finn, she breathes. She breathes. She breathes. When she opens her eyes again, she sees that the tornado above them is slowly coming back to earth, covering the room in clay, dirt, and leaves.

Finn presses a kiss to her forehead, and she looks up at him, some of the pain melting away. This man, so open and honest is here with her, protecting her, even when she doesn’t deserve it.

Finn kisses her again, on her cheek this time, and, in spite of everything, she smiles at the way his lips tickle her skin. He pulls back and meets her eyes, and suddenly, Rey’s filled with nothing but  _want._ She rises up to meet Finn’s lips, greedy and urgent, and he meets her with just as much passion. Rey teases his lips open, moaning in relish as Finn swipes his tongue into her mouth. Then she’s falling into him, into their kiss, into this moment and no other.

Rey breaks the kiss, moving her lips to his neck instead, biting and sucking in succession. Finn moans, and Rey breaks. “I need you,” she whispers, utterly raw. “Finn, please.”

*

Finn knows, in some distant part of his brain, that they should stop.

He’s overwhelmed by fear and awe, intensely aware that Rey is both beautiful and dangerous. They’re trapped together in enemy territory, and he doesn’t know how long either one of them will even survive.

He thinks he should pull away, maybe, and make some sort of plan. But Rey is writhing underneath him, rolling her hips into his, and she’s biting at his lip, pulling his awareness to back her with that sharp pleasure-pain.

He can feel the  _want_ coming off of her in waves, and he sees images that she probably doesn’t even realize she’s sending his way. She wants to be naked underneath him, to feel him inside her, to be close to him in every way possible. The thought makes him groan, and his cock is growing harder by the second.

The thought of this girl - this powerful, wonderful, wild girl, trusting him that much makes his head spin. “I love you,” he whispers, surprising himself with the truth that’s been building all along. “I love you, Rey.” 

The last thing he wants in the world is to stop.

*

Rey doesn't yet know how to say "love." She doesn't even know what that means, really. But she thinks she knows how to make Finn feel wanted and adored. She licks a hot stripe up his neck, nipping at his earlobe and whispering again: “I need you, Finn."

His breath hitches. “How do you need me?”

Rey guides his hand up and under her shirt, to where her bare nipples are already hard. “Like this,” she says.

Finn responds at once, cupping her breasts expertly and flicking at each nipple in turn. Rey moans, letting her head fall back and her hips rise up, seeking to meet his.

“How do you need me?” she asks, feeling bold.

Finn takes her hand and guides it to the growing bulge in his pants. Rey gasps in delight, palming his hardening cock through the rough fabric. Her eyes dip to the waistband of Finn’s pants and her fingers curl there, waiting.

“May I?” she asks, tugging experimentally on the waistband.

Finn doesn’t even hesitate. He pulls away, strips off his pants, and lays back down before Rey even properly registers that he’d moved.

“Efficient,” she says, a teasing note of approval in her voice.

“Eager,” he responds, “to be closer to you.” As if to illustrate his point, he grabs her hip and pulls her closer against his side, leaving no space between them. Then he’s lifting her shirt and leaning down to place open mouthed kisses to her nipples, swirling his tongue and making Rey gasp in pleasure.

She writhes underneath him for moments - or hours, because what did time matter? - before whining and pulling away. “I want to feel you too,” she whispers, running her hands down his stomach and toward his cock, just out of reach.

He moves up to kiss her, his mouth in a grin, and she reaches for him, hard and ready and waiting for her. She wraps her hand around his shaft and gives a couple of smooth, long strokes, then stops to swirl drops of pre-cum around the tip. Finn groans into her mouth and she continues, trying different angles until she finds one that makes him groan even harder. She grins in satisfaction and sets a steady pace, quickening with the speed of his breath.

Finn stops kissing her and leans his head back instead, face painted in pleasure. He chants her name and she strokes him faster, until he opens his eyes and says, “Rey I’m gonna -” and he cums, thick white ropes covering her exposed chest.

She strokes him through his orgasm, gentling her touch as he softens. He looks down, sees her half bare and covered with his cum, and his expression is a mix of lust and awe.

“You’re incredible,” he says.

“Right back at you,” she says, entirely too pleased with herself. “How do you feel?”

“Amazing,” he says, laying back down so he’s pressed against her side once more.

“Yeah you do,” she says, and winks.

Finn sighs in contentment, drawing lazy circles with his cum on her chest, circling her nipples in a swirling tease.

“Finn?”

“Mmm?” Finn looks up, his eyes glazed with pleasure.

“Will you touch me now?”

“Gladly,” Finn says, and he means it.

Rey loosens the drawstring on her pants and Finn helps her out of them in the space of a breath. Then he helps her out of her shirt too, for good measure, and Rey’s naked and waiting beside him, watching him adoringly.

Finn, still drawing shapes on her skin with his cum, scoops up a little of it. “May I?” he asks, trailing down toward her sex and motioning his meaning.

Rey’s eyes blow even wider with lust. “Kriff yes,” she says. Then takes a second to clarify, “The doctor gave me a contraception chip, so it shouldn’t be an issue.

Finn nods his understanding and coats two fingers in cum before working his way down to her sex, trailing teasing circles as he goes. He stops just shy of her lips, and pulls back, looking around them for a more comfortable position for them both.

He’d forgotten there was anything in the  _world_ but the two of them, but the wreckage all around them is a harsh reality check. Sharp shards of clay and glass litter the floor, along with small trees that were ripped from the soil, roots and all. The bench they sat on earlier on is ripped in two, half of it still standing, and the other half scattered in splinters across the room.

Strangely, he notices distantly, although there is dirt and plaster nearly everywhere, the circle around him and Rey is entirely clean. Nothing touched either of them, he realizes with dull surprise. While he was protecting Rey, she was protecting him too.

This  _should_ make Finn’s brain spin with questions about Rey’s heritage, and her bizarre powers, and her strange relationship with the wild, untamed Force. However, his cock is already hardening again, and Rey is looking at him impatiently, and well. He’s not doing his best thinking at the moment.

He stands, scooping Rey up and walking them both over to the remains of the bench, sitting down and guiding her with him so that she’s straddling his lap, facing him. Her eyes are lust-blown and her face is tear streaked. His cum is slowly dripping down her chest. And she is  _glorious._

Rey leans in for a kiss and her lips are urgent, hungry. She moves to his neck, and bites him there, just on the pleasure side of pain.

Finn leans into her touch and whispers in her ear, “Do you want me to fuck you with my fingers?”

Rey shivers and moves her hips closer to him, lifting his shirt so she can roll her wet cunt against his bare stomach.

Finn’s fairly sure that’s a yes, but nothing about this situation is standard. They’re stranded together on a military base in the middle of a galaxy-wide war. Whatever this is, whatever they’re starting, he needs to be certain that they’re in it together.

“Tell me what you want, love,” he murmurs, nipping her ear.

Rey leans back so she can meet his eyes, then enunciates very, very clearly as she says, “Fuck. Me. Finn. Please,” she adds, almost as an afterthought.

It’s all the encouragement he needs. He slides two slick fingers between her lips, already wet and waiting for him. He rubs circles around her clit, never quite touching it, making sure to keep her a little on edge.

“Tease,” she whispers, and he responds with two quick flicks, which earns him a breathy moan. She allows the teasing for another moment before she covers his hand and moves it in a circular pattern, showing him just how she likes to be touched.

“Eager,” he says, nipping at her ear again. She laughs, then catches his lips, licking into his mouth. As she deepens the kiss, grinding her hips into Finn’s hand, he deftly slides a finger into her waiting cunt.

“More,” she murmurs. “Finn  _please_ I need more.” He slides in a second finger, and her walls clamp around him, adjusting to the feel of him. He waits until she relaxes, then begins pumping in and out of her, flicking her clit with his free hand.

Rey moans his name, long and low and needy, and now it’s Finn’s turn to give a self-satisfied smirk.

Rey’s breathing speeds up and her hips start to stutter, but before she comes she catches Finn’s wrist, stopping him mid-motion. He flicks his eyes to hers, briefly concerned, but then he feels her hands on his cock. He’s so hard it hurts, but he was too lost in her pleasure to pay attention to his own.

It had been a long, emotional week for Rey, and Finn had promised himself from the outset that he’d let her set the pace. That he wouldn’t push. But when she murmurs, “Kriff I need your cock in me,” Finn’s grateful to every god there is that he no longer has to hold back.

“Fuck yes,” he says at once. He pulls his fingers out of her and licks them clean, stripping off his shirt with military efficiency. Then he lifts her hips into position. He leans against the cushioned backrest she lowers herself onto his waiting cock, agonizingly slowly.

“Tease,” he says, playfully mirroring her words, but Rey’s face is screwed up in concentration, and Finn’s immediately concerned. “Rey?” he asks, seeking out her eyes. “What’s wrong?”

Rey shakes her head, face determined, and continues lowering herself down until she’s fully seated and they’re joined, hips together, chests and faces just inches apart. Then she stills.

Finn’s itching to move, to find relief and give it too, to make her feel as amazing as she makes him feel. But something’s definitely wrong. Rey, who was brazen and open moments ago, is now breathing through clenched teeth, her face screwed up in what might be pleasure or pain.

“Talk to me,” he says, stroking her face. “What's going on?”

“I just...haven’t done part before,” she says after a moment. “I’ve been with people in the past, but never quite like this.”  

Ah okay. Finn he remembers his first time, with Slip, and, well. Adjusting to someone else into your body is an experience, to say the least. If he’d known, he would have prepped her more, coaxed her to cum first to get her body relaxed enough for his cock. He can work with this though. He just has to think.

He centers himself more fully in the moment, then starts to talk her through it. “Deep breath, okay? And take your time. This is a moment just for us. No expectations, and no pressure.”

Rey nods, relief filling her features. “Okay,” she whispers. And then again, more confidence in her voice, “Okay.”

She leans down to kiss him, and he reaches for her clit, rubbing gentle circles there. She moans into his mouth and deepens the kiss. Then, she starts to move, slowly at first and then faster, her motions laced with confidence again. 

She's experimental, trying out different motions, watching him for his reaction. “Is this alright?” she asks tentatively, finally choosing a rhythm.

“Rey,” Finn says, “you feel incredible. All of it. Seriously.”

She grows a little bolder at that, quickening her pace and swirling her hips in between deeper thrusts.

“Kriff,” Finn breathes. “Stars, Rey, oh fuck…”

She speeds up, spurred on by his encouragement, and soon she's moaning his name as well, moving her entire body as she fucks herself on his cock.

Their names become chants, and then Rey's coming, and her cunt is squeezing Finn's cock in just the right way, and he's coming too, draining every last drop into her.

They come down together, sweating and panting, and then they're chest to chest, sticky and exhausted, breathless and awestruck.

“That was -” Rey starts.

“Amazing,” Finn says.

Rey pulls herself off him and stands, stretching as pleasant aftershocks rack her body. She reaches for their clothes and they dress quietly, sneaking glances and grins at each other as they do.

Then, for the first time, Rey properly looks around at the ruined greenhouse. She gasps at the sight of so much destruction. "Did I do all of this?" she asks, horrified.

Finn, nods, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, looking at her with a strange mixture of fear and pride.

“Alia was right,” Rey says, surprising even herself. "I need training."

She and Finn try to salvage a few of the plants, but it's more or less a lost cause. A few minutes later, the trap door opens, and Alia leaps lightly into the room. She surveys the damage for a long moment, eyebrow raised. 

“Did you get it out of your system?” she asks Rey at last. "Are you ready to train now?"  

Rey doesn’t know what to say. She’s exhausted and elated, overwhelmed and drained. She has little choice; she needs to learn how to control this strange new power before it destroys her, and she’s willing to accept any ally right now. Even one who wears the robes of a murderer.

She nods her assent.

“Good,” Alia says. “Then let's go. It's time to properly introduce you to the Force."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this goes without saying, but this is fan fic, not relationship advice. Talk to your partners ahead of time about wants, needs, and boundaries; get tested before each new partner (and make sure they do the same.) Use protection every single time, unless you've negotiated that ahead of time with your partner. *Definitely* don't decide to forgo condoms/protection in the heat of the moment, like Finn and Rey do here. They're...not in the best headspace, and not making the best life choices at the moment. (Okay sorry, lecture over.)
> 
> I've got a [No Redemption tag](https://the-bi-writer.tumblr.com/tagged/no_redemption) on my tumblr now, and a [new moodboard](https://the-bi-writer.tumblr.com/post/163616790265/from-ch-8-of-there-is-no-redemption-here-a#notes) for Alia and Finn. I'd love to hear what you think about the continual evolution of their dynamic. 
> 
> What did you think of Alia's big reveal, and of Rey's reaction?
> 
> As always, thanks for reading and commenting!


	14. Children of Vader

****Alia rarely finds herself wishing for the company of Kylo Ren. His presence generally brings disaster, and Alia's often left to deal with the aftermath alone, so she avoids the knight whenever she can.

Today though, Alia’s dealing with a grief-stricken girl whose emotions are interacting with the Force in strange and violent ways. More distressingly, she herself is late for a rare appointment with the best weaponsmith in the galaxy, who's currently waiting for her in a hole in the wall shop on the planet Kanis. 

Alia mentally curses Kylo for saddling her with a human time bomb and then fucking off to Force-knows-where. Because now she has a choice to make: neglect her responsibilities, or risk taking a volatile girl off planet with no training or plan.

Long seconds pass as the three of them ride the turbolift in silence. Standing behind Finn and Rey, Alia takes a minute to ground herself, and then reaches for their energy. 

Finn's energy is easy, confident, but Rey's is as turbulent as ever. Her Force signature is a strange mixture of anxiety and bliss, fear and adoration. Rey reaches a hand out and to Finn and he takes it at once, smiling warmly. Something like contentment passes between the two.

 _So she has a weakness_ , Alia thinks, a plan quickly forming in her mind. _And it’s my apprentice. Useful, that._

Alia tears her gaze away from the strange pair to tap on her comm link, rechecking the launch bay schedule. Starkiller’s planet-wide shields open only a few times a day, on a random schedule known only to the top officials. It’s a smart way to keep out possible enemies, but it's also a thorn in Alia’s side. 

Thanks to the greenhouse disaster, they have less than an hour to make the launch window. But with Rey calm for the moment, and a bit of help from Finn, they just might make it to their appointment after all.

*

“Where are we going?” Finn asks, as they exit the turbolift and turn away from Rey’s room.

“Out,” Alia says simply. She strides through the medbay to the reinforced exit doors, entering her code without a second thought. Then she’s leading Finn and Rey into the base proper, toward the living quarters of the Knights of Ren.

“I thought I had to stay in the medbay?" Rey hisses to Finn. “Not that I mind, but…do you trust her?”

There’s only a brief pause before Finn whispers back, “Enough.”

“I can hear you, you know,” Alia says. “We’re going to run some errands off planet, Vaderling, since you wasted our training time with that tantrum of yours. If you prefer, I can take you back to the medbay and let the good doctor pump you full of sedatives - she’s not pleased that you destroyed her greenhouse, by the way - or, you can come with us. Either way, my apprentice and I have an appointment to keep, and we’re behind schedule, thanks to you.”

Alia keeps walking, her eyes scanning the hallways, but her mental attention trained on Rey and Finn, who are both hard on her heels. She decides to take Rey’s silence for assent, and continues on to their quarters.

Once there, she finds a spare tunic for Rey and sends her to wash up and change. Finn heads for the training room without being asked, returning moments later with an assortment of weapons to take on their trip. Alia nods in approval, thankful that she has at least one competent ally in the midst of the storm.

She packs quickly herself, then busies herself in the common room kitchen, laying out dried fruit and jerky, nuts and bread and jam.

Rey emerges from the fresher, looking better than Alia’s ever seen her, and beelines for the food. She bounces a little on her toes until Alia says, “Eat what you want, but do it quickly. We leave in five.”

As expected, Rey digs into the modest spread, stuffing her cheeks until they're full. And that’s when Alia strikes. With a speed only achieved by long years of Force-practice, Alia slides behind Rey and fastens a simple silver necklace around the other woman’s neck.

“Hey!” Rey protests, hands reaching for her throat. But she’s too late; the jewelry's alloy is Force-dampening, and it’s tied to Alia’s signature. Which is to say, it’s not going anywhere until Alia decides so.

Rey rounds on her, eyes narrowed to dangerous slits. “What did you do to me?” she hisses, still pulling at the necklace that won’t budge. Alia knows from experience that the metal feels like it’s sinking into your skin, like a magnet reaching for your core. Not painful, but persistent. And maddening, when you’re not the one who put it there.

Alia shrugs. “It’s Force dampening charm. That’s all.”

Fear flashes through Rey’s eyes, lightning bright, and Alia feels an unexpected pang of sympathy.

“It’s not going to hurt you, Rey. It’s just going to keep track of you, and keep your Force tantrums at bay until I have time to train you properly. I can’t have you blowing up my ship or running off, after all. If want to stay here, I'll remove it and you can do as you please. But if you want to come with us, you’re keeping it on.”

Rey’s eyes are volcanoes, and Alia’s sure there would be another Force disaster if not for the suppressing power of the necklace. _So it works, even on Vader’s descendant,_ Alia thinks with utter relief. _There’s one win for the day._

Rey stalks away dramatically, only to realize she has nowhere to go. She turns back to Alia, looking both grumpy and resigned. “Fine. I’ll wear it. But only because I don’t want to go back to the medbay.”

“Lovely,” Alia says, clapping her hands once. “Now that’s settled, let’s go before we miss the launch.”

*

Rey's frustrations melt into distraction the minute they enter the Knight’s private hanger. The boarding ramp of Alia’s shuttle is already down, but Rey ignores it and circles the ship, curiosity and excitement rolling off of her in waves. Alia's shuttle is sleek and compact, and far less showy than Rey would have expected for a Knight. Then again, Alia’s already many things Rey hadn’t expected. Rey hasn’t yet decided if that’s a good or bad thing.

“Vaderling!” Alia calls. “If we’re not airborne in three minutes we’re going to miss the shield opening. Get your ass inside, now.”

Not wanting to miss the excitement, Rey does as she’s told, though she glares at Alia for the “Vaderling” comment. “I’m nothing like him,” Rey mutters, as she climbs aboard the ship.

“That, little one, remains to be seen.”

Rey wants to retort, but Alia’s already in the cockpit, shouting back orders to sit down and strap in. Finn and Rey take seats in the small passenger lounge. 

“This is gonna be fun,” Finn says, and he smiles, warm and open. His smile warms Rey down to her toes, and she thanks the universe that he's still by her side.

A few minutes later they’re in hyperspace, and Alia reappears. “We’ll be on Kanis for a full standard cycle, at least. As you know, the point of this trip is to meet with my tailor to get Finn properly outfitted, as well as new weapons made. You'll have free time before and after the appointment, as I have other matters to attend to. I assume you can behave yourselves unattended?"

Finn coughs and Rey tries to hide a smile, thinking back to the affection they’ve already shared. In this moment, next to Finn, his knee resting casually against hers, she doesn’t even mind being scolded like a child. She’s going on an adventure with Finn, and nothing could bring her down.

“Yes, ma’am,” Rey says, trying for a respectful tone.

Alia narrows her eyes. “You will address me as Lady Alia or my lady, Vaderling. And you will address my apprentice as Lord Finn or my lord.” Rey quirks an eyebrow at Finn, clearly impressed. “As for you,” Alia continues, now looming over Rey, “if I decide to train you, you’ll get a title when you earn one.”

Rey holds her head high, recognizing it as the challenge and the invitation it is. “What would you have me do, my lady?” the words sound strange to her ears, but she’s growing a begrudging respect for Alia, and even if she weren't, she'd be smart enough to play along.

“Whatever I ask,” Alia says simply. “And for now, I ask that you meet me here,” her fingers fly over her keypad as she speaks, ”in two hours.”

Finn and Rey’s comms beep in synch, and Rey checks hers, noting the coordinates that Alia just sent. “What are we supposed to do until then?” Rey asks, curious about where Alia might be going, and why they can’t go with her right away.

“Stay out of trouble,” Alia deadpans. “And stay close to Finn. Can you manage that, Vaderling?” 

“Yes, my lady,” Rey says, managing to keep most of the sarcasm out of her tone.

Alia smirks. “Good. Because we’re about to land.”

As Alia goes back to the cockpit, Finn taps on Rey’s arm. “Look,” he breathes. Through the ship’s small viewport, they can see the planet fast approaching. There's verdant mountains in the distance and much closer - they fly nearly overhead, so they get a good look - a bustling city full of every color imaginable.

“This will be my first new planet,” Finn whispers, joy in his voice.

“Me too,” Rey whispers. “Well, the first one I went to willingly, anyway. I don’t think that waking up kidnapped in the medbay really counts as choosing a travel destination.”

Finn grins, and Rey’s glad that they can joke about this now. She’s so grateful for this companionship with a man who understands so much about her, even after knowing each other for such little time.

 _Maybe it’s our hearts,_ Rey muses. _Our pasts are different, but maybe something about them shaped us to fit together like we do._

“I agree,” Finn murmurs beside her, and Rey realizes that she had been sending the thought his way without even meaning to. It was becoming so easy, so automatic, this thing between him and her. It's both terrifying and thrilling at the same time.

Then they’re landing, and tumbling together out of the ship and into the sun, taking off hand in hand toward town.

*

From the shuttle, Alia watches them go, her mind a mess of emotion. She knows exactly what happened to Ben Organa. She was there every step of the way. The memory of a sister he thought he'd lost, and an obsession with power he could never quite reach, had driven him straight into the arms of Snoke.

And she hadn’t done a damn thing to stop it. 

Alia’s smart enough to know that it wasn’t her fault, and that Ben - well, Kylo now - was damn well going to do whatever he pleased, in the end. _A quality he and Rey clearly share,_ Alia thinks with a shudder.

Alia has half a mind to just smother Rey in her sleep, and cut off any possibility of history repeating itself. _The galaxy can’t handle another Vader,_ she thinks, her stomach churning. But no. Even a child of Vader deserves a choice, and Alia’s going to give Rey time to make hers.

She can only hope that the galaxy won’t regret it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to [conn8d](http://archiveofourown.org/users/conn8d/pseuds/conn8d) and [classic_vision](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Classic_Vision/pseuds/Classic_Vision) for their help developing this story. I couldn't do it without them!
> 
> Feedback request: What did you think about the idea of the Force-suppression necklace? Did it make sense? Do I need to explain it more?
> 
> Thanks as always for your support of this fic! Everyone has been so amazing.


	15. The Calm - EXPLICIT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Finn and Rey have a bit of fun. Lots of fluff and smut ahead! 
> 
> [9.17 Edit: Now with extended smutty alleyway scene!]
> 
> If you want to skip the smut, it's a single section that starts and ends with "< \- - - >" So just skip past that part if you want! (Or don't, bc it's delicious ;)
> 
> CN: For use of the C word in the sex scene.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to [classic-vision](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Classic_Vision/pseuds/Classic_Vision) and [avada_matata](http://archiveofourown.org/users/avada_matata/pseuds/avada_matata) for beta'ing!

There has always been rage, for Rey.

Growing up she’d had few memories and fewer friends. Rage, though, was a constant ally. Back then she had wanted, more than anything, for her family to come back, even after she’d forgotten their faces and names. But desire, like hope, turned to anger soon enough.

The white hot rage in her chest kept her going through injury, heat, aching hunger. It was the only thing that got her out of bed, some days. The spiteful thought that, if only to prove Plutt’s betting pool wrong, she had to survive.

Now, though, Rey’s on Kanis, a brand new planet, walking hand in hand with -

Well, she doesn’t know what Finn is to her yet. He had called it _love_ , this thing between them, but Rey’s not yet sure what that means. She knows that she cares about Finn, though. She wants to make him happy, to make him feel as amazing and special as he makes her feel.

Is that love?

She doesn’t yet know how to say it, but, perhaps, she can show him instead.

*

There has always been loneliness, for Finn. A hollowness that haunted him even in dreams.

When he was younger, he’d tried to connect with his team mates, joining in their jokes and games. But his squad only bonded over violence and cruelty, and Finn could never find it in him to laugh at other’s suffering. So, instead, he suffered alone.

Now, though, there is Rey. She’s brilliant and beautiful, surprising and soothing all at once. And something in her calls to Finn, like she’s an echo of his own soul. Finn’s not sure what he means to her, but he knows that he loves her already.

He doesn’t yet know what will become of either of them - they’re caught in the middle of a war, after all - but as they step together into a world unknown, all Finn can think is that he wants to stay by Rey’s side for as long as he can.

*

The first thing they notice about Kanis are the colors. Flowers of every hue sprout from vines that cling to every building in sight. Finn gasps at each new color he sees, approaching each plant slowly and running reverent fingers over the vines.

Rey hangs back, resting her still-healing leg and enjoying the grin on Finn’s face as he discovers each new color for the first time. He pick out two flowers - one a soft yellow and the other a deep, dusky pink - and brings them to Rey. She laughs in spite of all the danger they’re still in, because in this moment she feels safe, and warm, and adored. She kisses him on the cheek in thanks.

Ahead of them, they hear the bustle of a larger crowd, and Rey’s curious at once.

“Shall we?” she asks, holding out her arm for her knight. Finn grins and takes it, and together they press on to the next step of their adventure.

*

The noise turns out to be an open-air market, busy and bustling in the town square. Crowds of creatures from every species browse stalls full of clothing, trinkets, and treats. Finn’s instantly mesmerized; he wants to taste and touch and experience it all.

Unfortunately, he doesn’t have any money. Theoretically, Alia had set up a credit account for him, but he doesn't know how to access it. 

"Do you know how credit accounts work?" he whispers to Rey.

Rey shakes her head. "I've only ever traded for rations or supplies. No one on Jakku has enough credits to need an account."

"Shit. Do you have any credits on you, then?" 

“Where would I have gotten credits from?” Rey gestures to the Force-dampening charm around on her neck. “I'm a prisoner, remember?” She doesn’t look bothered though, just thoughtful as she scans the marketplace.

“I have an idea,” she says, her face lighting up. She takes Finn’s hand and beelines toward a small crowd gathered around a merchant stall. Humans and aliens alike are shouting to the merchant, hands raised in a bidding war. “Perfect,” Rey says decisively, placing the flowers behind each Finn’s ears to free up her hands. “Be right back.”

Before Finn has time to process what’s happening, Rey slips into the crowd and reemerges seconds later, her fists full of credit chips, and at least three processor tabs, which hold up to a thousand credits each.

Finn’s eyes go wide, and then he’s laughing as she dumps her haul into his pockets. “Nice work, theif,” he says, affectionately bumping her shoulder.

She shrugs. “They were bidding on unpaid labor droids, so I really don’t feel too bad about it. We should go, though, before someone notices us.”

A crowd of wookies passes by, and Finn and Rey duck behind them to make their escape. While they walk, Rey converses with one casually, and Finn laughs before he realizes that the sounds they’re making are actual _language._ From there on out, he’s fascinated, listening to see if he can distinguish any of the sounds.

“What are you talking about?” he whispers, curious.

“Where the best food is,” Rey responds. “I’m starving. This is Chana, by the way. Chana, meet Finn.”

The wookie warbles something in response, and Rey laughs. “She says she likes your flowers,” she translates for Finn. “And that you’re pretty.”

“Oh,” Finn says, fighting back a smile. No one’s called him pretty before, and he finds he likes it. “Thank you, Chana.”

The wookie warbles something in response, and Rey laughs again, her smile brighter than the sun.

*

They break off into the wookie crowd and head into the market proper. They meander through the stalls, fascinated by all the new sights and sounds. One stall is a riot of color, selling every type of flower imaginable. Another sells brightly colored tunics and scarves.

Rey approaches the clothing stall, running her hand reverently over a silky crimson dress, when she hears Finn at her shoulder. “That would look nice on you,” he says. “And even better on our bedroom floor.”

Rey blushes the same color as the dress, but she buys it anyway. It’s the first non-essential thing she can remember buying for herself, and it’s a lovely feeling.

She tries on a few hats, then, mostly just to make Finn smile, and helps him pick out a colorful floral scarf.

“The wookie was right,” Rey says with a smile. “Flowers suit you.”

*

They’re sampling fruit at another booth when Rey feels a sudden tug at the corner or her mind, like a familiar voice whispering her name. She ignores it at first but it grows stronger, more insistent, and soon it’s an angry buzzing, refusing to be ignored.

“I’ll be right back,” she whispers to Finn. Since the market is open air, she can wander a bit while keeping Finn in sight, so she does.

She follows the strange Force-whisper until it leads her to an older Twi'lek woman selling jewelry at a small stall. Rey’s drawn in by the beauty of the jewels, but it’s two small, plain stones, each on a simple cord, that catch her eye.  

“What are these?” she asks the shopkeeper, picking the stones up and rolling them over in her hand.

“Ah the relationship stones,” the Twi’lek woman says. “They are a matched pair, so they make a perfect gift for your match.”

Rey listens to the rest of the explanation with a growing smile on her face. The stones already feel _right_ in her hand, steady and sure. They fit, against her skin, just like Finn.

She pays the jeweler and thanks her, slipping the necklaces in her pocket. Then she hurries to Finn, excited to give him his present.

*

“What is it?” Finn asks, staring curiously down at the stone in his hand.

Rey is overcome with sudden nerves. She meant the gesture to be romantic, but now that she sees her gift in Finn’s hand, she feels foolish. “It’s...a rock,” she says sheepishly, “and it, um, does stuff. Supposedly.”

“What kind of stuff?” Finn asks with interest. He meets her eyes with that open, genuine gaze that first won her heart, and Rey melts a little.

“It’s supposed to have kyber dust in it,” she says. “Here, hold it and think about me.”

Finn plays along, closing his fingers around the small stone. Suddenly Rey feels her own stone warm in her palm, turning from grey-brown to a deep teal. She exclaims in delight and shows Finn, who grins right back.

Then she does the same - gripping her smooth stone and thinking of Finn. Immediately, his stone glows the glorious rust of the deep desert.

“It works!” Rey exclaims with a rush of relief.

“Whoa,” Finn says, looking back and forth between the stones. “So they’re connected? How does it work?”

“They’re supposed to be a matched set,” Rey explains excitedly. “The saleswoman said that no matter where in the galaxy these two stones are, they call to each other. It’s a way to let someone know that you’re thinking of them, no matter how far away they are.”

Finn's breath hitches, and he goes suddenly still. He studies the stones intensely, no longer meeting Rey’s eyes, and Rey’s suddenly, horribly sure that she’s done something wrong.

“Do you like it?” she asks nervously. “I...wanted to get you something nice, but I’ve never -”

“No one’s ever gotten me a gift before,” Finn says, so soft she almost doesn’t hear him. He reaches out and pulls her toward him, and she goes easily, melting against him as he holds her close. 

How had she become so comfortable, so close with this man in only a few days? It had been years since she’d let anyone touch her, but here she was, learning into Finn's arms as if on instinct, feeling the moisture of his tears on her cheeks. 

“Thank you, Rey,” he says, kissing her on the forehead, light and short and sweet.

Rey takes a moment to breathe this all in - the way he says her name, the adoration in his eyes, the warm feeling in her belly that she was the one to make him happy- and stores it all away to remember over and over.

Then Finn's kissing her deeply, and Rey's fully present once again, her belly lighting up with a whole new kind of fire. She wants to do so much more than kissing with Finn right now, so she grabs his hand, dragging him through the crowd with a sudden burst of purpose. He follows without hesitation, and her heart warms that he trusts her too, just like she’s learning to trust him.

She spots an abandoned alleyway, and makes straight for it. Beside her, she _feels_ Finn’s grin, and then his growing desire as he understands where she’s leading them, and what she’s hoping to do.

It’s going to be a good afternoon.

< \- - - >

Finn lets go of Rey's hand, laughing, as they stumble together down the alley way, out of sight of the crowd. There are flowers all around them still, blooming on the strange deep green vines that seem to cover every wall of this city. There are also, to Finn’s great delight, a stack of crates the perfect height to sit Rey on top of.

Finn nods at the crates, and Rey understands at once. Her eyes gleam as she hops lightly onto them, already spreading her legs and smirking in clear invitation.

Finn considers her, his mouth watering as he thinks about exploring her cunt with his tongue. He kneels between her legs, looking up with what he knows must be hunger. “May I?”

“Fuck yes,” she says, already shimming out of her pants. He helps her place them on the crate to sit on - getting splinters in her ass might ruin the mood, after all - and then goes to work, folding her legs firmly open and licking into her core.

Rey says his name like a prayer, and  _ fuck  _ he loves his name on her lips. He teases her, licking careful circles around her clit before giving it just the slightest pressure, holding her hips down as she bucks up into him.

“Patience, my love,” he murmurs. Rey whines, but Finn holds out until she’s actually  _ begging _ . Then he gives her what she wants, licking steady stripes over her clit until she’s clawing and his neck as she pleads for more.

Finn moves up to kiss her while slipping two fingers inside her wet heat. When he pulls back he sees that Rey's face is absolutely  _ wrecked.  _ She’s sweating and panting and he can feel how close she is by the way her walls are clenching around him.

“Come for me,” he murmurs, and she comes undone, screaming and shaking and it’s all for him. He fucks her through her orgasm and holds her head to his chest as she comes down, shivers wracking her entire body.

“Kriff, Finn,” Rey whispers, voice dazed. “You’re incredible.”

He sucks her juices off his fingers, humming happily in response. “Anytime,” he says with a wink.

“I might just take you up on that,” Rey says, her eyes beginning to focus again. “Now. What can I do for you? What do you want?"

Finn takes a moment to breathe. What  _ does  _ he want? To stay here, always. To run away with Rey. To sleep beside her every night. To know that she loves him, the way that he loves her. 

“I want to fuck you,” he says simply, brushing away the stray hairs that are sweat-plastered to her forehead. “I want to hear you scream my name.”

“Fuck,” Rey says, and her eyes are immediately lust blown. “Fuck yes. That, please. Now.”

Her hands are already dropping to his waist, helping him out of his pants. He lets them slide only a little way - while they’re walled in on three sides, and have clear sight lines on the fourth, some part of his brain is ever the tactician, ready for anything - and throws his head back when she wraps one hand around his cock, stroking him slowly and playing with the pre-cum already leaking from the head.

Never one to mince words, Rey raises an eyebrow and says, “Shall we?”

Finn laughs - it’s just such a  _ Rey  _ thing to say - and kisses her forehead even as he slides into her in one long thrust, burning himself to the hilt.

“Kriff, Finn,” Rey says. 

Finn’s about to ask if she needs a minute, but she’s already wrapping her legs around him, heels digging into his ass as she urges him closer.  _ Well that answers that,  _ he thinks wryly.

He fucks into her slowly, drawing out this forbidden moment when the two of them are no longer prisoners caught up in war, but just Finn and Rey, more connected than he’s ever felt to anyone else.

“Force, I love you,” Finn says, and Rey answers with a kiss. He’s still fucking her slowly, savoring the feel of every inch of her, but then she says his  _ name _ . She’s still urging him on with her legs, wrapped tightly around his waist, but it’s the reverent way she says  _ Finn  _ that does it.

He sets a steadily quickening pace and she moans his name until she’s screaming it, just as he’d hoped. He doesn’t last as long as he’d like but that’s okay, because Rey’s coming too, milking his cock as her walls twitch, and he’s spilling into her, and then they’re collapsing onto each other, still connected, coming down from their amazing high. 

It there is such a thing as heaven, Finn hopes it is this.

< \- - - >

They emerge from the alleyway sated and starving.

“Let’s go see where that delicious smell is coming from,” Rey says, and Finn nods, holding an arm out to her at once.

Rey laughs and slips against his side, relishing his nearness as they make their way to a group of food stalls, surrounding a courtyard filled with tables. Diners of every species sit together, eating and chatting, and there’s even a live band playing an upbeat tune.

At this point Rey’s brain is a little fuzzy, still reeling with a pleasant haze, and she can’t quite remember which food cart Chana had recommended. There’s a small crowd of humans around one of the carts, though, and it smells delicious, so they figure it’s safe enough. Not knowing what else to do, they ask for “the special,” and make their way over to the courtyard to eat.

The special turns out to be a sweet and salty noodle dish with some kind of meat and several colorful vegetables. Finn and Rey sit at a table together, heads bent over the steaming plate as they feed each other bites, trying each new ingredient for the first time.

Rey takes a minute to memorize Finn’s smile and the feel of this moment. She takes all of it in - the colors and sights and sounds all around them, the feel of Finn’s hand on her knee, the pleasant heat that it send through her - and rolls it all into a memory, storing it neatly away in her mind.

She has a feeling she can’t quite explain that she will need this moment, this memory soon. So she soaks it all in, and then locks it up tight in her mind.

In front of her, Finn sucks in a noodle so fast that it hits his nose, and Rey snorts, trying to repeat the trick. They end up making a bit of a mess, but it’s the best meal Rey’s ever had.

They sit back once they’re done, holding their stomachs. Neither is used to eating full meals, and it’s a good - if strange - feeling. To their right, Rey notices movement, and she realizes that people have stood up to dance to the music. Rey stands and holds a hand out to Finn. “Dance with me?”

His grin is breathtaking. “Of course.”

She leads him to the dance floor and they dance, slow and close, to the light, lilty tune coming from the band.

Then a faster song comes on. Since neither of them actually knows how to dance, they make up their own style, stepping on each other’s toes and laughing as they go. It’s the most fun Rey’s had in a long, long time.

When the music slows and they’re chest to chest again, swaying slowly together, Rey finally whispers the words that have been obvious since the moment she met Finn: “I love you too.”

*

Across the galaxy, Leia Organa opens her eyes with a gasp. “Han, Han!” she says, shaking her husband sleeping beside her. “Han, I feel her. Our daughter’s alive.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Chapter Art](https://the-bi-writer.tumblr.com/post/164648538085/finn-rey-alia-in-no-redemption-chapter-14) | [No Redemption tumblr tag](https://the-bi-writer.tumblr.com/tagged/tinrh)
> 
> As always, thoughts, reactions, questions and comments are much appreciated!


	16. The Weaponsmith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn and Rey meet up with the galaxy's best weaponsmith.
> 
> Many thanks to [classic-vision](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Classic_Vision/pseuds/Classic_Vision) for their continual support, beta help, and encouragement. You've made this story so much richer than it ever was before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Previously: Alia, Finn, and Rey traveled to the planet Kanis to meet up with Alia’s weaponsmith._
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> _Elsewhere, Leia Organa woke in the middle of the night, sensing that her daughter was alive._

Han wakes to his worst nightmare: it’s the middle of the night and his wife is once again convinced that their daughter is alive.

He reaches for Leia, trying to pull her back into his arms, but she pushes him away, determined. She stands and begins to pace the room, rambling something about Breha, and how she thought she had felt her, days ago, but wasn’t sure until just now.

“Han it’s her. I know it,” Leia says, and the hope in her voice is too much to bear.

“She’s gone, Leia,” he says gently, already standing up to take his wife in his arms, to rub soothing circles on her back until her breathing evens out. “She’s been gone for years.”

“Han,” Leia says, and now he can see her stony eyes in the moonlight. “If you’ve ever trusted me, trust me on this. Our baby girl is still alive.” 

Han can’t handle any more false hope, so he shoves the thought out of his mind and focuses instead on what’s important: Leia, here, in front of him, breathing hard and half-frantic. He pulls her gently toward him and she goes, letting her head fall against his chest.

Han runs his fingers through her hair in the way that she likes and she sighs, moving closer. “I’m here, Leia,” is all he can think to say. He doesn’t speak his next thought out loud: _I’m here, just like I’ve always been, but our baby girl is gone._

*

Light years away on Kanis, Finn and Rey pull back from one last kiss in the courtyard. “It’s time to go, love,” Finn says, and Rey nods, her mind already slipping back into work mode. It’s time to go meet this mysterious weaponsmith of Alia’s.

They weave through the busy marketplace hand in hand, heading to the coordinates Alia sent them earlier. They fall into a pattern without conscious thought, with Rey navigating and Finn watching their backs as they thread through the crowd.

It doesn’t take them long to find the coordinates, but even as their commlinks light up, letting them know they’re in the right place, they appear to be...nowhere. It’s just an empty street with boarded up windows, and no one in sight.

“Um,” Rey says, looking around as she taps her foot. “Should we -”

A stream of chirruped beeping cuts her off, and she swivels to see an old R2 droid coming toward them. Finn’s noticed it already, and is reaching for his saber to defend them both.

The droid beeps, sounding worried now, and Rey puts a hand on Finn’s shoulder. “It’s okay,” she reassures him. “It’s from Alia.”

“Oh,” Finn says, relaxing at once. “How do you know?”

“It called me Vaderling,” Rey says with a groan. “And it says it will take us to Alia.”

*

The little droid leads them to an open-air speeder, already programmed with their next set of coordinates. Finn and Rey climb in and sit back, letting autopilot take them where they need to be.

Rey stares out at the passing cityscape - they must be heading out of town, because the buildings are getting farther apart - and her mind starts to wander to the questions she’s been meaning to ask Finn.

“So. Alia,” she says. “What’s her deal?”  

“Her deal?” Finn asks, tearing himself away from the view of the colorful streets to look at Rey. “What do you mean?”

“Well she’s,” Rey pauses, searching for the right word, “intense. And I don’t trust her. Do you?”

“I do,” Finn says, surprising even himself. “Well, I trust her to be Alia, if that makes sense. She, well, she is what she is.”

Rey snorts. “Well that certainly clears things up. Thanks for that.” There’s no heat in her tone, but Finn suddenly wants to be sure that Rey understands what they’re heading into, and why he’s making the choices he is.

He closes his eyes and reaches for Alia’s presence, always there like a commlink in the back of his mind. They’ve been bonded from the moment he agreed to be her apprentice, and it’s both strange and wonderful, in its own way.

Their bond is sometimes silent - they can each close their end when they choose - but it’s most often open, buzzing gently like a holo link, always ready when they need it.

Without consciously deciding to, Finn reaches out to their connection and tugs on it, like the way you’d run your fingers over a scar. Alia responds at once. _Are you okay?_

 _Yeah_ , he responds. _On our way to you now._

He somehow _feels_ her nod, and then she disengages, leaving the bond just open enough that he can feel the bare edge of her signature coming through, like shafts of light through window slats.

"Finn, are you okay?" 

Finn pulls himself back to the present, to where Rey is looking at him expectantly. Then he does his best to articulate the relationship that's already coming to define his life.

“Alia was the first person, besides you, to see me as a person instead of a possession,” he says, talking her through his thought process. “She gave me a chance to be free of the First Order, and I took it. I’ll always be grateful to her for that. She also,” he pauses, looking for words that he’s never used before. “She acts almost like we’re a team. Did you know that the stars on our robes are a ranking, of sorts?”

Rey shivers at the thought of _those_ robes, the ones her brother’s killer wore. She sucks in deep breaths to stay in the present, to not get pulled into that pit of grief that earlier almost blocked out the sky.  Then she presses through it, grounding herself in the feel of Finn's hand in hers.

“Three gold stars, right?” Rey asks.

“Right. Alia told me that the stars represent ranking; there’s one for The Supreme Leader, one for Kylo Ren, and one her.”

“She’s really third in command of the _galaxy_?” Rey asks, impressed in spite of everything.

“Yup,” Finn says, and there’s pride in his tone. “Let’s just say there used to be a lot more stars.” 

Rey takes this in, tapping her foot and looking out into the distance. There’s certainly more to Alia than meets the eye, and Rey’s both curious and cautious as she wonders what that hidden side might be.

“Wait,” she says, realizing something. “You have three stars too. Shouldn’t you have four, according to her logic?” 

Finn grins. “I asked her that too, and she said that as long as I’m by her side, I’ll hold her rank. She said she wouldn’t have taken me on as an apprentice, if she didn’t think I could keep up. ‘ _So keep up, Knightling,’_ she always says.”

Rey laughs at Finn’s precise imitation of Alia’s tone, but the knot in her chest remains. “What do you think Alia wants with me?”

Finn shakes his head, brow creasing. “She doesn’t, actually. Want anything from you. I think - well, it’s always hard to tell, with her - but I think she actually wants to help. In her own way.”

“Do you trust her?” Rey asks. “Should I?

“Probably not,” Finn says. “But she’s the best there is, and she offered to train me.” He shrugs. “I took the offer. I think you should too.”

Rey raises her eyebrows at this. Never had she considered actually _joining_ the Knights of Ren. She’d agreed to a few Force-lessons, sure, but that was only because she’d almost destroyed the entire medbay, and she's desperate to control her power before it destroys her. She never actually wanted to _enlist_ in whatever madness they all had going on.

She gives Finn a dubious look.

“Just think about it,” Finn says. “We,” he pauses, looking down at their conjoined hands. “We could be together, you know? Train together. Live together. It -” he pauses again. “I don’t want to lose you, Rey. And if you join up with Alia, I won’t have to.”

“I can’t,” she whispers. “I can’t join the people who killed my brother.”

Finn touches her face, and there’s sorrow in her eyes. “I’m so sorry about your brother, Rey, but Alia isn’t Kylo. I’m not saying she’s a saint,” he says quickly, when Rey looks doubtful. “She’s ruthless and power hungry and a killer. I don't think she's cruel for the sake of cruelty though."

“That’s...not all that comforting,” Rey says. “But I’ll take any ally I can get at this point. Maybe I can join you for lessons tomorrow?”

Finn grins. “That sounds like a start.”

The speeder stops with a “ding,” and Rey looks around. They’re in front of a tiny, run down building, surrounded by fields as far as the eye can see.

“ _This_ is the best weaponsmith in the galaxy?” Rey asks, but Finn just shrugs, as if to say _we won’t know until we go inside._

So they do.

*

“It doesn’t look like a weapon shop,” Rey whispers, peering around the quiet, dimly lit room. “It looks like a...jewelry store?”

There’s a glass display counter in the front of the store, filled with beautiful jewelry. There are two stools in front of it, so with nothing else to do, they sit down and wait.

Finn cocks his head, as if listening, and then says to Rey, “Alia’s in the back. She says she’ll be right out.”

“She...says?” Rey asks, confused, but she doesn’t have time to question further, because a creaking door opens in the back of the shop, and a tall figure cuts through the dingy room, walking toward them with quick, light steps.

“Welcome,” the woman says, when she reaches the front counter. “I’m Cass. Lady Alia’s still looking over the weapons, but she said to get started by taking your measurements. Come on.” She smiles and waves a hand, and Finn and Rey follow her cautiously to the center of the small room.

Cass pushes a button and a rectangular platform rises out of the floor, complete with three plasti-glass panels that form a 3-walled box.

“Step right up,” she says, holding out a hand to Rey.

Rey backs away on instinct  - she doesn’t let strangers touch her - and runs straight into Finn. They topple together, landing harmlessly on a pile of empty boxes and then scramble to their feet, both looking embarrassed.

Alia appears from the back room, and all eyes turn to her. “What the -”

Alia scans the scene - Rey clearly scared, Finn looking uneasy, and Cass standing in the middle of the room, eyes wide. Cass is clearly not used to dealing with scarred child soldiers, and skittish desert children.

“Finn,” Alia says casually. “Why don’t you go first, to show Rey how it’s done?”

Finn doesn't move, eying the platform with distrust. Then he cocks his head as if listening for a long moment, and nods, his body relaxing.

Rey watches as Finn steps into the scanner, no longer looking worried, and holds his arms out while Cass runs a beeping device over his limbs.

“What just happened?” Rey whispers to Alia, who's now standing next to her, watching the proceedings.

“Finn was scared,” Alia says simply. “And I told him he didn’t have to be.”

“Well that certainly clears things up,” Rey mutters under her breath.

Alia narrows her eyes. “Watch your tone, Vaderling. I have no qualms about sending you back to the medbay until the Supreme Leader decides what to do with you.”

Rey gulps, “I’m sorry, my lady.”

Unexpectedly, Alia’s mouth quirks into a grin. “You’re not, but you’re getting better at lying. If you really want to know, I’ll Force-project just happened between Finn and I.” Alia holds out one hand, palm up, and looks at Rey expectantly. 

Cautiously, Rey places her fingertips on Alia’s open palm. As soon as they touch, Rey’s pulled into a memory by the Force, and she’s seeing the last few minutes play out through Alia’s eyes.

*

In the memory, Alia’s in the back room of the shop with Cass, discussing which weapons would best suit Finn. Alia feels Finn and Rey enter the shop, but after briefly checking in with Finn, she turns her attention back to the weapons.

Cass leaves the room, and a moment later a jolt of panic shoots through Finn and Alia’s bond. Alia strides to the main room, already probing Finn’s mind for the cause of his alarm.

 _No, not probing_ , Rey realizes with a start. _Asking. Alia was_ asking _Finn what was wrong, and he dropped his defenses to let her see._  

As soon as Alia recognizes the source of Finn’s alarm - he doesn’t want to be touched by a stranger, and enclosed spaces remind him of reconditioning - she seeks to reassure him. _I know this woman,_ Alia sends through their bond. _We’ve worked together for years. She’s not going to hurt you. I won’t let anyone hurt you, Finn. I promise._

Finn’s cocking his head, listening to her words. His shoulders relax a bit, but he still feels unsure of what’s expected of him in this situation.

Alia sends back another wave of confidence and trust, along with an image of Finn stepping up on the platform and holding his arms out to the side while the plasti-glass walls whir and beep, and Cass runs a scanner over his limbs. _Just a few scans,_ Alia tells him. _Nothing invasive. She’s the best weaponsmith in the galaxy, and she just needs your measurements so she can make your armor. That’s all._

At that, Finn finally does relax, and steps onto the platform with easy confidence, already holding his arms out to be measured.

*

Rey pulls herself from the memory and back into the room, to where Finn’s still being measured inside the strange box. Cass says something to Finn and he laughs, finally seeming at ease.

“You didn’t order him,” Rey says softly. “You asked.”

“Whatever you may think of me,” Alia murmurs, “know that I care for Finn. He’s had enough orders for a lifetime, and I won't add to that burden. Not when there's another way.”

 _Interesting_ , Rey thinks. _So Alia does give a shit for Finn after all._

“I do,” Alia answers her thoughts aloud. “And you need to work on your mental shielding, Vaderling.”

Rey scowls and Alia's voice softens. “Come to training tomorrow, and I’ll help you with it then.”

Rey nods, just a bare jerk of her chin, but she feels like some sort of peace has been brokered in that moment. She reminds herself that Alia likes manners, and adds, “Thank you, Lady Alia.”

“You're welcome.”

They fall silent then, watching Cass as she runs a beeping device over Finn several times, chatting happily in between.

“See?” Alia says nonchalantly to Rey. “Nothing to worry about.”

Rey does another double take at the realization that Alia’s taking care of her too, on her own way. “Thank you,” Rey whispers, sincere for the first time.

Finn hops off the platform then, grinning as he strides easily over to them. “Cass is great,” he says, giving Rey an encouraging nod. “You'll like her.”

They trade places and Rey cautiously steps up to the platform, holding her arms out like Finn had done. The clear walls whir and beep as Cass pushes some buttons, and then Cass runs a beeping holoscanner over each of Rey’s limbs, checking the readings from time to time.

“First time being measured?” Cass says, her voice friendly. “I was a little freaked out the first time too.”

Rey nods, and then realizes that Cass is probably waiting for a response. She’s never been good at small talk, but this woman is trying to be friendly, so Rey decides to give it a shot.

“I usually make my own clothes,” Rey says, a note of pride in her voice. “I make goggles and gear, too.”

“Nice,” Cass says, her smile still genuine. “So you’re self-taught, then?”

“Yeah,” Rey says, “Growing up on -” Rey stops, checks herself. She was about to say Jakku, but she doesn’t really know who this woman is, or what her allegiances may be, so she amends her statement. “I didn’t have anyone to show me, growing up, so I used what I had, and I figured it out along the way. It was a lot of fun, actually, and I ended up inventing some gear no one else had.”

“Ooh I love discovering new designs,” Cass says, her eyes suddenly animated. “It’s my favorite part of this job, actually. Most of our customers are high-end, and they pay more for items that are one of a kind. My mom thinks it’s annoying and elitist, but I enjoy the challenge.”

“Oh,” Rey says, not quite sure what to do with all this personal information. Besides Finn, she’s never really had a friend before, but she’s fairly sure Cass is talking to her like a friend, and it’s, well, nice. “It’s like solving a puzzle, right?” she ventures cautiously. “Is that why you like it?”

“Yeah,” Cass says, “Exactly that.” She looks down at the scanner, presses a few buttons, and looks back up. “All done,” she says, and moves out of the way for Rey to hop down. It’s awkward with the leg brace, but Rey manages, and she’s grateful that Cass didn’t try to touch her again. Even though the other woman was just trying to help, touch from strangers isn’t something that Rey’s quite ready for.

Rey walks to a table in the back where Finn’s sitting with his eyes closed and hands stretched out, an array of credit chips floating in front of him. Alia grins. “Well done, knightling. We’ll try something a bit bigger when we’re not in a weapons shop.”

Finn opens his eyes, his face radiant at Alia’s praise. Rey’s chest warms a little with pride as well, knowing that he’s learning so much, so quickly.

 _Now you know how I feel,_ Alia murmurs inside Rey’s mind. Rey makes a motion with her hand, as if to swat the thought away and, strangely, she feels Alia pull away, respecting her space.

Cass appears behind Alia then, and rests her head lightly on Alia’s shoulder. Surprisingly, Alia doesn’t scoff or pull away. She just stills, her face softening the slightest bit as she allows the touch.

“Ooh I should show Rey the jewelry,” Cass says, voice bright. “Do you two want to check out the weapons in the back?”

Finn shrugs and Alia nods.

“The jewelry?” Rey asks, curious.

“And accessories,” Cass says, pride in her voice. “I invented them all myself. Here, I’ll show you.” She leads Rey to the front counter and pulls an extravagant emerald necklace out of the glass display case.

“Nice, right?” Cass says with a wink. “You’d never guess that there’s poison inside.”

Rey raises her eyebrows, impressed.

“And these earrings?” Cass takes out a pair of dangling teardrop diamonds. “Blow darts in both of them. They can knock your target out for an hour at least. More if you want the good stuff.”

Rey whistles. She’s about to ask what the sparkling sapphire bracelet does, when the door to the weapons room closes, walling Alia and Finn off from the main room. Cass’s friendly cheer drops at once.

“You’re Leia’s daughter, aren’t you?” she says, eyes keen.

Rey’s entire body goes stiff. _Who is this woman, and how does she know me?_ Rey thinks, already looking for a way to escape. She backs away quickly, her eyes darting between the back room and the door, her mind already calculating her odds. _Should I call for help, or make a run for it?_

She doesn’t trust Alia, but she does trust Finn, more than this strange woman in front of her at least. Rey opens her mouth to call for Finn, but before she can, the weaponsmith begins speaking softly in old Alderaanian, just like Rey’s mother used to do.

[Hush, youngling. I’m with the Resistance. My name is Paige Tico, and I can get you home.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Finnrey Friday all!
> 
> Feedback request: What did you think of Finn and Alia's Force bond?


	17. The Weaponsmith, Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey makes a startling discovery. Also, there are lesbians.
> 
> Many thanks, as always to [classic-vision](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Classic_Vision/pseuds/Classic_Vision) for their continual support. This story wouldn't be what it is without you.

_Rey opens her mouth to call for Finn, but before she can, the weaponsmith begins speaking softly in old Alderaanian, just like Rey’s mother used to do._

_[Hush, youngling. I’m with the Resistance. My name is Paige Tico, and I can get you home.]_

*

Rey steps back in shock. She doesn’t know who this woman is, or if she’s telling the truth, but the mention of her family fills her with a longing she hasn’t allowed herself in years.

“Where are they?” Rey whispers. “My parents, I mean.”

“I can’t tell you that,” Cass - _Paige?_ \- answers. “But I can take you there. Tomorrow, at the second shield opening I’ll be arriving on Starkiller Base to deliver Alia’s order. Meet me in the Knight’s launch bay just before the second sunset, and I’ll take you to your parents. You have my world.”

Rey’s mind goes blank with shock. Was this a trick? A test of loyalty, from Alia, maybe?

“How do I know you’re who you say you are?” Rey asks, her voice shaking with the effort of suppressing so many emotions at once. “How do I know this isn’t a trap?” She glances toward the back room, where Alia and Finn are picking out weapons, and wonders if she’s being spied on, even now.

Paige sighs. “Of course you’re difficult. You’re Leia’s daughter.” She runs a hand over her forehead, clearly thinking. “I don’t have proof on hand, but I did send a message to your mother the moment I saw you - you have her eyes, you know - and I should have a response by tomorrow. I’ll bring you her holo response when I make the weapons delivery, and you can make your choice then. Deal?”

Rey scowls, mostly to cover up the wild beating of her hopeful, erratic heart. Could she really see her family again, after all these years? Would they even still _want_ her?

Behind them, a door creaks, and Alia and Finn return from the smithery. Rey quickly takes her whirling thoughts and shoves them behind her sandstorm barriers, hoping it’s enough to keep Alia out.

Fortunately, Alia has eyes only for Paige. She brushes Paige's arm and whispers something in her ear, and Paige grins, giving Alia a wink.

 _So Alia doesn’t know,_ Rey thinks with growing curiosity, _that Paige is with the Resistance. I wonder who’s spying on who?_

She doesn’t have time to ponder, though, because Paige - _Cass_ , Rey reminds herself, remembering that Alia can read her thoughts if she tries. _Call her Cass_ \- is already back in customer service mode. She sets up a holo catalogue with everything from training gear to full on armor, and shows Finn how to scroll through the options.  

Rey waits and watches while Alia tells Finn what he’ll need, including inner and outer armor, short and long range weapons, and both casual and formal wear. True to her word, she sets few requirements, letting Finn choose the colors and styles.

 _Finn's had enough orders for a lifetime,_ Rey remembers Alia saying. _I won't add to that burden. Not when there’s another way._

After Finn makes his selections, Cass takes him to the back to pick out materials. Rey stays up front with Alia, feeling awkward and unsure of what to do. The holo catalogue is still on, with options still rotating through the air, but Rey’s sure she doesn’t merit the consideration of new clothing. Not after the damage she’s done and the hassle she’s caused.

Beside her, Alia sighs. “Choose a basic wardrobe, Vaderling. No weapons until you get your tantrums under control, but I’ll have Cass make you triple reinforced armor. You clearly need it. 

“I’m not so cruel as to make you wear the robes you so despise, but you will need something to conceal your identity.” Alia hits a few buttons until several masks and cowls show up. “One of these should work.”

Alia hums a little, scrolling through the rest of the options. “Pick out some training wear too - I’d recommend something from the second catalogue, but it’s up to you, and let’s see...oh, formal wear is always good to have on hand. Pick out a dress in case we go somewhere nice.”

“We?” Rey asks cautiously.

“Don’t get too excited,” Alia says. “I can’t train you in any official capacity, since Kylo has claimed that dubious honor. But I’m stuck with you until he decides to show up, and who knows? I might feel like going out.”

A thrill of horror runs over Rey at the mention of her brother's killer. “Do you really think he’s coming for me?” she asks, trying and failing to hide her fear.

“I’m guessing he didn’t save you from the brink of death for nothing, Vaderling.”

Rey gulps, trying not to think of how many times she herself has had those same thoughts.

“Can...can he find us here? Does he have that bond thing with me, like you have with Finn? Or whatever?”

“Eloquent,” Alia says, an eyebrow raised. “Or whatever,” she scoffs under her breath.

“I’m serious,” Rey says, trying to keep her rising panic out of her voice. “Does he know that we’re here?”

“He knows I’m here,” Alia says simply. “Kylo and I have been bonded for years. I told him you’re still back on base though.”

“You lied to him?” Rey asks, impressed. “How?”

Alia hesitates. How _did_ you lie to someone who could see inside your head? “With practiced skill,” she says at last. “And hard won knowledge.”

 Rey starts to ask something else, but Alia waves her off.

"Make no mistake, Vaderling, Kylo Ren will come for you. But he can’t force you to serve him. No one can. Remember that."

“I won’t go with him,” Rey says, determined. “I won’t be his apprentice. Ever.”

“That’s your business,” Alia says with a shrug. “My business is to keep you fed and clothed until he decides what to do with you. So pick out some kriffing clothes. Please.”

*

After Rey manages to calm herself down, and put Kylo out of her mind for the time being, the rest of the process goes fairly smoothly. By dinnertime Finn and Rey have chosen new clothes for the first time in their lives. Surprisingly, Cass asks them all to stay for dinner, and they do.

Cass lives above the shop in a small apartment with glass walls, so they’re surrounded on all sides by an unhindered view of the starry night sky. They eat a simple meal, with Finn and Rey on one side of the table, and Cass and Alia on the other.

Cass and Alia exchange a few coded glances, and at first Finn thinks they’re plotting something together. Then he notices Alia’s hand on Cass’s knee and realizes - _oh. So_ that’s _why Alia was so set on getting here early. She’s not just here for the armor and clothes._

Rey seems to notice too, and she gives Finn a sly grin as Cass and Alia talk in low voices, occasionally laughing and exchanging small touches.

The food is simple but delicious, and once they’re done Cass yawns. “It’s been a long day, kids, and I’m going to turn in. The guest room is there,” she gestures, “ and the ‘fresher’s there. My room’s down the hall if you need anything.

"I’ll meet you on base tomorrow with the rest of your order. Sleep well, in the meantime.” She stands and stretches, then brushes Alia’s shoulder lightly. “Kitten, are you coming?”

Finn makes a choked noise as he tries not to laugh, and Rey bites down on her cheeks to hold in the giggles. Alia gives them a look that could freeze lava. Finn and Rey sober at once, but burst into giggles as soon as Alia and Cass shut their bedroom door.

Then Finn and Rey realize they’re alone, with a bed waiting, and they tumble toward it together as fast as they can go.

*

It’s the best night of Rey’s life. She gets to know every inch of Finn as they explore each other, learning each other in a whole new way.

Afterward, when her brain comes down from the post-orgasmic high, the reality of her situation comes crashing back in. She’s still a captive of the First Order, and even here, away from Starkiller Base, she’s a prisoner. There’s literally a collar around her neck, dampening her ability to reach out to the Force she’s always known.

But her conversation today could change all of that.

If Cass is telling the truth, Rey’s parents are alive and this time, they’re looking for her. They haven’t given up. It’s like something out a dream she never dared to let herself have. 

Rey wants to tell Finn all of this, but she is so tired, and Finn is so warm, that lets him pull her in close. Before she drifts off entirely, she says a sleep-slurred “I love you,” and she thinks she hears Finn say it back. Then she's asleep, curled up against Finn where she perfectly fits.

*

On Mustafar, Kylo Ren prays.

He’s been given two tests by the Supreme Leader, both with the same ultimate end: He must end Ben Solo and his attachments, once and for all. Only then will he be a worthy Knight; only then will he join the ranks of the Sith.

At first, it was only Luke that he needed to kill. Luke, who’d trained him from the time he could walk, Luke who wears his mother’s smile. (Kylo knows, even now, that he could never bring his blade down on Leia Organa. He suspects the Supreme Leader knows it too.)

Now, though, there is Rey. The single weak point from which all this started.

Years ago, when he was still Ben, Kylo came to the Supreme Leader, wracked with anger and grief, begging for help to find his lost sister.  The Supreme Leader had agreed - had sworn to it even, with a vow on the Force. But over the years Ben became Kylo, and Kylo forgot.

He forgot the protective instinct that rises in him when she’s near. He forgot the strength she always inspired inside him. Rey had always made him feel grounded. Protective. Powerful. Worthy. And now he must either kill her, or break her, and isn’t it all the same in the end?

Neither one of them will come out of this whole.

The thought had wracked him with grief for weeks, and now his knees ache from kneeling before an empty onyx throne, searching for the strength to do what must be done.

 _Be Vader,_ Kylo chides himself, echoing Snoke’s constant refrain. _Never Anakin._ _Become the Sith Lord that he was always meant to be._

“I’m ready,” Kylo whispers to an empty, echoing castle. “I’m ready to do what needs to be done.”

He rises slowly, ignoring the sad, blue-grey ghost that always hovers just in the corner of his vision. “I will be Vader,” he says aloud, taunting the ghost - or the memory, or the delusion. “Never Anakin. Never you.”

Kylo retrieves Darth Vader’s helmet from the onyx throne, and makes for his ship.

By this time tomorrow, the girl will be his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! A double update this week!
> 
> Feedback request: What did you think about the reveal? What do you think Rey should do next?


	18. Sunrise (EXPLICIT)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a short smut scene in this chapter that starts and ends with the "< \- - - >" symbol, if you prefer to skip it. There are also several mentions of their steamy night before, but nothing explicit outside the marked section.
> 
> [Chapter 16](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10665558/chapters/26904087) now has an extended scene between Alia and Rey, if you want to take a look. 
> 
> Many thanks to [Classic-Vision](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Classic_Vision/pseuds/Classic_Vision) and [Conn8d](http://archiveofourown.org/users/conn8d/pseuds/conn8d) for constantly pushing me to make this story better. You are both amazing.

“Run away with me.”

It’s sometime before dawn, and Finn wakes to Rey’s nose on his cheek, nuzzling him insistently. “Finn,” she says again, her breath hot in his ear. “Run away with me.”

Finn thinks that he should respond, that he should process the treasonous words that could change his life. But he’s exhausted and euphoric, still sleep deprived from a night spent discovering new pleasures with Rey. She had mapped his whole body with with lips and teeth and tongue, and he had explored her too, discovering new ways to make her writhe and moan.

Now, after scant hours of sleep, Finn’s brain is still floating in a blissed-out daze.

“Of course,” he says with a playful smile. “Where are we running off to, my love? Naboo, maybe?” He kisses one of her cheeks. “Or Hosnian?” He kisses the other.

Rey shakes her head, pulling away so she can meet his eyes. “I’m serious, Finn. I have a plan. I leave today at second sunset, and I think you should come too.”

Finn sits up, his head spinning.

He had been sure that Rey was joking, but no. Her gaze is unwavering and her eyes are both certain and terribly afraid. He gets up to pace the room, trying to process what she just said.

“Finn?” she prompts, when he doesn't respond.

“Force, Rey, this isn’t the kind of thing you drop on someone before breakfast. Just...give me a minute to think.”

Finn’s brain slips into tactical mode, checking their surroundings and assessing the risk that someone else might be listening in. First he checks his ever-evolving Force bond with Alia, making sure that he’s still alone in his head, and safe to talk.

_Last night, while he and Rey were in the throes of passion, Alia banged on the wall and shouted, “Close your end of the Force bond when you’re having sex, Knightling. It’s common courtesy. And keep it down, for kriff’s sake. Rey sounds like a bleating Bantha.”_

_Finn and Rey had frozen, horrified, before they burst out laughing at the same time. Finn had, in fact, closed his side of the bond._

He checks the bond again now, but his mind is still quiet and undisturbed. Alia had promised him, at the beginning of all this that she would respect his mental space unless it was an emergency, and Finn’s pleased to find that she’s keeping her word.

Next, Finn puts his finger to his lips, a silent warning to Rey, and checks the room for holocams. It’s unlikely that the weaponsmith would bug her own house, but for the conversation he and Rey are about to have, he needs to be sure.

When he doesn’t find anything he comes back to bed, flopping down again beside Rey.

Rey snuggles up to him at once and looks at him with open hope, and his heart is so full of love for her he thinks it might burst.

“I think we’re safe, and alone for now,” he says, stroking her cheek. “So, my love, tell me your plan.”  

Rey whispers into his ear, curled against his chest, skin on skin. She tells him that the weaponsmith isn’t just an arms dealer, but an intelligence agent for the Resistance. More importantly, she offered to smuggle Rey off base.

Finn looks at her doubtfully. “How do you know it isn’t a trap? Or that she’ll be willing to take us both?”

“I don’t,” Rey says. “But she’s bringing me more information tonight, when she delivers the rest of Alia’s order. I know it’s a gamble, but Finn, if my parents are alive, I have to go. And I don't want to go without you.”

Finn’s heart warms that she’s including him in her plan, even though she’s putting herself in more danger by doing so. Two escapees are easier to stop than one, and Alia’s sure to notice if both of them disappear at once.

The fact that Rey trusts him, though, that she _wants_ him, despite the risks? It makes his heart soar.

“This could be really dangerous,” he says, turning his head to kiss the hand she’s running over her cheek. “There’s a lot at risk, and a lot to lose.”

Rey shakes her head. “Yesterday I learned that my my parents are alive, my brother is dead, and his murderer intends to make me his apprentice. Danger is a matter of degrees, right now.”

“Wait, what?” Finn says. “Who told you that?”

“Alia did. She said, ‘ _Make no mistake, Vaderling, Kylo Ren will come for you_. _”_

Finn laughs in spite of everything. “Man I know things are fucked right now, but your Alia impression is spot-on.”

“Thanks,” Rey says, flashing him a brilliant grin before sobering again. “But Finn, I don’t think she was lying. If Kylo Ren’s really is coming for me, I want to be long gone when he does. This plan’s a long shot, but it’s the best one I have.”

“Force, Rey,” Finn says. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

Rey looks pointedly down at Finn’s naked body, and then her own. “I was a little distracted last night.”

“Fuck,” Finn says again, because at this point, he’s out of words. Out of energy and thoughts and plans. “Just...fuck.”

“It sounds crazy, I know,” Rey says softly, nuzzling his cheek again. “But if I there’s even a chance to see my family again, I have to take it. But you’re my family now too, and I don’t want to lose you. If I can prove that Cass’s offer is real, will you come with me?”

Finn considers the facts. He’s pledged his loyalty to Alia, and they now share a Force bond he doesn't quite understand. He’s fairly sure there’d be consequences for breaking his vow to her, possibly from the Force itself, and definitely from Alia if she were to catch them before they made it off base.

Beyond that, he _likes_ Alia. She’s treated him as an equal, offered him a new life, and taught him the ways of the Force. Can he really leave her after all of that? Does he want to?

He turns his head, still thinking, and glimpses the glowing gemstone necklaces Rey bought them, lying side by side on the nightstand. _My first present,_ Finn thinks fondly. _And it’s from Rey._

Just like that, Finn knows what to do. It was Rey who first asked for his name, and who gave him his first gift. It’s Rey who makes him feel precious and adored, who he loves back with all his heart.

He turns back to her now, her face softly lit by the rising sun, and he realizes there’s only one answer he could ever give. “Of course I’ll go,” he says, the truth rolling easily off his tongue. “I’d go anywhere with you.”

< \- - - >

Rey leans in for a kiss, long, and slow, and Finn gives himself over to her, to this moment and their blossoming connection. He reaches to circle one of her nipples with his thumb, and she shivers in delight, so he breaks the kiss and traces her other nipple with his tongue.

Rey gasps, clearly trying to stay quiet, but her muffled whines grow increasingly louder as Finn kisses his way down her stomach, past her bellybutton. He stops just shy of her sex and looks up at her with a wicked grin. She’s breathing hard and says, voice ragged, “Fuck, Finn. Don’t stop.”

So he doesn’t.

It’s been barely a day, but he knows her body already. Knows just how she’ll arch her back if he swipes his tongue over her clit in a certain way, knows how she’ll let out a loud, contented sigh when he slips the first finger inside her.

Their first time together was a passionate frenzy, and it was amazing in it’s own way. But it has nothing on this. It has nothing on the way she falls apart now as he fucks her with fingers and tongue; it has nothing on her heavy breathing, her insistent hands against the back of his head.

It has nothing on the way she loses control of herself by the end, and begs for him to fuck her properly, and he kisses her while he does. It has nothing on this moment, with Rey underneath him, babbling incoherent praise.

“I love you,” Finn whispers, and it’s the last thing he has time to think before his world explodes into sensation and he’s coming inside the most beautiful woman he’s ever known.

< \- - - >

“I love you too,” Rey says, and the words now feel less foreign on her tongue. The concept is strange, maybe, but Finn is not. Finn is already warm and familiar, and, she realizes with a start, a _friend_. Which is something she hasn’t had in a very, very long time.

Rey’s known Finn for such little time, but she's curled against his chest, hand over his heart, completely relaxed and trusting. Their twin gemstone necklaces lay tangled together on the bedside table, glowing brilliant orange and blue, and nothing has ever felt as right as this.

*

They jump when Alia raps sharply on their door. “Get up, knightlings. Now.”

Finn and Rey hide their hopeful, traitorous thoughts behind mental walls and dress quickly, forgetting the necklaces in their haste. They follow Alia downstairs, past a workshop where Cass is talking to someone hidden from view, and giant machines are whirring and clanging.

Rey squeezes Finn’s hand. “She’s making us armor!” she whispers. “I’ve never had my own armor before.”

“I’ve never had my own clothes before,” Finn responds, and Rey's heart aches in a way she never thought possible.

They follow Alia into a dry, grassy field behind Cass’s house, and Rey sees that Alia’s holding two saber hilts. She’s never seen one up close before, and actually steps forward on impulse, her fingers itching to reach out and run her hands over them reverently, before catching herself and stepping back.

Alia clearly notices, but just smirks. “I’m glad to see that you’re eager to train, little Vader. My apprentice and I have been sparring daily, but I want to see your form. Shall we?”

Alia tosses her twin saber hilts to Finn and Rey, one to each of them. Rey catches hers and backs away at once on instinct, already widening her stance to fight. Her opponent is Finn, but her teacher is Alia, and Rey’s under no illusions that Alia’s lessons will be kind.

“Begin.”

Finn’s saber comes to life, and it takes Rey a panicked moment to turn hers on. Finn gives her a wide berth as he starts to circle her, clearly allowing her time to get adjusted to the new weapon.

“If you go easy on her, knightling, I’ll fight her myself,” Alia calls, sounding bored.

Finn gives Rey an apologetic grimace, and then charges. She blocks his first blow on instinct alone - she didn’t survive this long without learning to fight, after all - but the saber in her hand is weighted differently than her staff. She wildly over balances, nearly falling forward into their locked crimson blades.

Finn sucks in a breath and steps back quickly, his blade barely missing her neck.

“Knightling,” Alia growls from the sidelines. “I told you not to hold back.”

“I’m not going to decapitate her!” Finn protests, adding a hasty, “My lady,” to the end.

Alia sighs. “Do give me _some_ credit, Finn. Look at the inscription on the hilts. They're training sabers. The most she'll get is a bad burn, but you’re robbing her of an education if you don’t give this your all.” She claps her hands. "Again."

*

Rey charges first this time, but she’s barely in motion before Finn’s stepping to the side, out of her planned path. She tries again, aiming a short jab at his chest, but it yields the same results. Rey’s spent her whole life minimizing her tells, but Finn’s side-stepping her attacks as soon as she plans them. _What the…_

Finn’s on her now, and she raises her saber to block his next blow. As they lock blades for the second time, Rey narrows her eyes as she ties to figure out how Finn moved so quickly. It was almost as if he could read the intentions behind her movements. Was that even possible?

“Are you cheating with the Force?” Rey asks, voice strained with the effort of their saberlock.

“It’s not cheating, Vaderling,” Alia calls from the sidelines. “It’s using every resource at your disposal, and I suggest you do the same.”

Rey twists sideways, freeing herself and sucking in a breath. _Finn has the Force, a lifetime of military training, and Alia on his side. What does that leave me? Think, Rey. You can do this. What do you have that Finn doesn’t?_

Then it comes to her: Finn’s a trained soldier, but she knows how to fight dirty. And that just might work.

Rey backs up and takes her next attack at a run, her thoughts sharply focused on an image of herself in the air, jumping up and bringing her saber down on Finn from above.

Finn takes the bait and is already in position, raising his blade to block the attack he’s expecting. But instead of launching herself into the air, Rey extinguishes her saber at just the right moment and ducks low instead, driving her shoulder into Finn’s chest.

The force of her blow knocks Finn to the ground, and he falls back with an “oof.” Rey’s on top of him immediately, wrenching his saber from his grasp and hopping back up to her feet, both blades now firmly in her grip. She stands over him, blades buzzing with life, and grins victoriously.

“Yield,” Finn says with a groan, and Rey helps him to his feet at once.

“I’m so sorry Finn,” Rey whispers. “Did I hurt you?”

“Nah, it’s fine,” Finn says, waving her off with a smile. “My fault for underestimating you. Wanna go again?”

Rey kisses him on the nose, a light, silly gesture in the midst of all the intensity. “Only if you actually _fight_ me this time. Deal?”

Finn grins, the blaze of battle finally coming alive in his eyes. “Deal.”

*

They spar until breakfast, when a protocol droid brings them out a tray of fresh fruit and blue milk, and they sit together under the clear morning sky, sharing the food.

After they eat, Finn excuses himself to go meditate, and Rey’s left alone with Alia.

“Let me tell you what you did wrong today, Vaderling,” Alia says promptly, and proceeds to point out each of Rey’s weaknesses and missteps, describing each one in excruciating detail.

At first, Rey wants to defend herself by pointing out that she mostly held her own, even without the benefit of the Force. But halfway through the long list of her faults she realizes that strangely, Alia might be _helping_ her. Or Alia’s version of helping, at least. Empty praise won’t make Rey a better fighter, but knowing her own weaknesses will.

 _Either that, or she just likes making fun of me,_ Rey thinks dryly.

Alia ends her long list of criticism with, “At least you’re not as bad as I thought you’d be.”

“Thanks,” Rey deadpans, but really, she’s too happy right now to be properly annoyed. She’s just shared a delicious meal with the man she loves, and she’s in a wide open field underneath a lilac sky. Nothing could bring her down right now.

Then Alia’s commlink sounds. “Vaderling, come help me load the ship,” she says. “It’s time to go back to Starkiller base."

 _Well,_ Rey thinks, _nothing but that._

_*_

Finn’s pulled from his meditation far too soon.

So much had happened in the last few days: He learned of Rey’s true identity, realized his feelings for her, and learned that she loved him back. Now they’re heading right back into the belly of the beast, and he wishes he had more time to savor the open sky of a planet that hadn’t held him prisoner his entire life.

But Starkiller _didn’t_ have to hold him prisoner anymore. Rey - his Rey, his beautiful Rey - had come up with a plan to escape. Well, _plan_ was putting it generously. Rey had a half-baked idea backed by desperate hope, and Finn doesn’t know if any of it will work.

He knows one thing though: No matter what, he wants to stay by her side.

As Alia pulls him from his meditation and he stands to return to the ship, Finn keeps his treasonous thoughts carefully hidden behind the solid walls of ice in his mind.

Tonight, with Rey, he is going to escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Finnrey Friday! Quick Reminder that I have a [No Redemption tag](https://the-bi-writer.tumblr.com/tagged/tinrh) on tumblr for moodboards, updates, and more!
> 
> Comments are always appreciated. Thanks for reading!


	19. The Longest Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo, Alia, and Finn hesitate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks, as always, to [Classic-Vision](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Classic_Vision/pseuds/Classic_Vision) for their beta brilliance.

Across the galaxy, Kylo Ren hesitates.

After a struggle that felt endless, he’d picked himself up from the floor of his Vader’s castle, and made it as far as his ship before he stopped, hands hovering just over the console.

He’d come to outrun the traitorous hope that bloomed in his chest as soon as he saw Rey, because that hope warred with his ever growing need for power. He came here to be alone, to outrun the pull of the light. To outrun her.  

He doesn’t know how long it took him to come to a decision, but he’s made one now: he will take Rey as his apprentice, no matter what she wants, and he will train her here, on Mustafar, in the heart of the grand legacy they both share. Here, in the place where their pasts meet, Kylo will convince Rey to join him, and together they’ll rule the galaxy.

And won’t that be worth the means, in the end?

 _No more questions,_ Kylo chides himself firmly. _The decision has been made, now there is only to carry it out._

He grips the controls, and steers his ship into the greater galaxy, mentally reaching out to the Force. He’d forgotten how painful it was to be in communion with other living things. How dissonant. Ever since he’d bent his knee to the Supreme Leader, still young and unbroken and full of hope, everything in and around him had felt _wrong._

Force bonds between master and apprentice are instantaneous and intimate, and he still remembers the rush of that first moment. Like being pulled into a storm of power and fear, awe and control. It was everything he’d ever, and never wanted.

The universe has been discordant ever since.

He wouldn’t take it back.

Kylo slowly lets down his mental shields, and his bond with the Supreme Leader flares to life, coming alive again after days. Kylo holds his breath and waits for the bone-chilling ice to pass.

It makes him feel alive again.

 _Where have you been?_ The Supreme Leader asks.

 _Meditating,_ Kylo answers at once, keeping his chin in the air even though the Supreme Leader can’t actually _see_ him at the moment.  _You told me to prepare the girl to face you, and I was preparing myself first. So I was following your orders, from a certain point of view._

 _Insolent,_ the Supreme Leader responds, and Kylo can picture him so clearly in this moment, sitting on his throne and waving a lazy hand in the air, as if to brush Kylo off like a fly.

Kylo hesitates. Should he apologize? Bite back to show initiative? But he waits too long and Snoke’s already repeating his question.

_Where are you, my apprentice? I won’t ask again._

_In the Dagoba System,_ Kylo lies. _Following another lead on Skywalker, before I return to train the girl._ Admitting the full truth - that he’s done nothing but grieve since seeing Rey -  would make him look weak. He can’t afford to look weak.

Kylo holds his breath as he feels Snoke seep into his mind, his presence like a poisonous cloud. The better part of him knows that holding his breath will accomplish nothing, but there’s a childish part of him that can’t stop from breathing in the second before the smoke hits.

The Supreme Leader roots around in Kylo’s mind without remorse before pulling away slowly, the stink of him still lingering behind Kylo’s eyes.

 _You’re lying,_ Snoke says, sounding thoughtful instead of annoyed. _That’s better than I expected from a whelp like you. I can sense your lie, but I can’t see the truth. How are you hiding it?_

 _With the grace of your teachings,_ Kylo says, and at that, he _feel_ Snoke laugh inside his mind. The sensation envelopes him like thick fog, making him shiver in his bones. At the same time, it’s a familiar feeling. Snoke feeds with one hand and punishes with the other, so where there are insults, there will be validation too.

Kylo hates himself for needing the Supreme Leader’s presence and praise, but he knows by now that he does. Snoke’s presence in his head is familiar now. Comforting, even. Kylo’s come to depend so much on this man, after so few years. He can’t imagine living without him now.

 _No matter,_ Snoke says, bringing Kylo’s attention back to the present. _The important thing is what comes next. Do you have a plan for getting the girl under control?_

 _I do,_ Kylo says, sure of his words for once. He’s done nothing this week _but_ plan (and think, and wish, hope, and pray.)

 _I have a plan,_ he repeats. _I’ll have her obedience shortly, Supreme Leader._

 _See that you do,_ Snoke says, his voice a dry hiss. _Because if you don’t, I’ll dispose of her myself._

The Supreme Leader shows him, in no uncertain terms, how Rey will be _disposed of_ should Kylo fail. Kylo stares in horror and fascination as images cascade through his mind, of bring Rey brutalized and killed a million different ways.

For half a breath Kylo isn’t a Knight, but a brother, desperate to protect the girl who’s still feels like a part of himself. He quickly hides this emotion, shoving his sorrow and regret into a stone walled fortress in his mind. Snoke can never, ever, know that Kylo still harbors Ben in the corner of his steel forged heart, and that Ben will always, always love Rey.  

Kylo reaches for his ship’s console, gripping the smooth metal tightly, running his fingers over the sharp bumps of the control panel until he’s back in control once more.   

 _I won’t fail you, Supreme Leader,_ Kylo says, tone as confident as he can make it. _I’ll do what must be done._

_For your sake, Kylo Ren, see that you do._

With that, the Supreme Leader retreats, leaving Kylo Ren in the vastness of space, alone in his mind. 

*

_Alia_

On Starkiller Base, Alia Ren hesitates.

She's just escorted the last of Cass’s merchandise into the living quarters of the Knight of Ren, and there she finds Finn and Rey, already dressed in two of their new outfits. Rey's humming a tune and they're mangling a waltz step, but joyful energy rolls off them both in waves.

Alia wants to breathe it all in. She wants to feel the joy her apprentice feels at being adored, but something is wrong with this picture. She just doesn't know what. So she does what she's always taught Finn to do: she locks the door, finds something to put her back against (the tactical part of her mind never sleeps) and reaches out to the Force.

Her bond with Finn has been strangely quiet for the last day or so, but that could easily be explained by the amount of sex he and Rey are clearly having. _Seriously, 6 times in one night?_ Alia told Finn from the outset that she'd respect his mental space as much as she can, so she does, chalking it up to infatuation and puppy love.

Rey, though, tends to project her emotions loudly, and Alia reaches out to them now. Rey’s thoughts are floating in a pleasure haze, so Alia can't make make out anything too specific, but as Rey leans for another kiss - _another? seriously, another?_ \- Alia makes out a single word that runs like a rhythm through all of Rey's thoughts: _Tonight. Tonight. Tonight._

Alia sends Finn on an errand to the weapons room, and then turns her attention to Vader's heir.

*

_Rey_

Rey knows something’s wrong when Alia says, far too casually, “Sit with me, Vaderling. Let's have a chat, shall we?”

Finn just left the room to go choose weapons for their next practice session, and Alia’s already reclining on the couch he just vacated.

Rey joins her warily, sitting on the very edge of the couch, ready to bolt at any minute. She doesn’t have anywhere to run, but the instinct is still there, and strong nonetheless.

“So, Vaderling,” Alia says, her tone still light. “Tell me. What’s happening tonight?”

“Nothing, my lady,” Rey stammers, her mind suddenly spinning.  _Shit. Does she know that -_

“Do I know what?” Alia says, eyes narrowed. “Lesson one, Vaderling: Your mind is your most important tool, and you should guard it at all times. Think quickly if you want to keep me out."

It’s all the warning Rey gets before she feels Alia’s fire in her mind, threatening to reveal precious information about her plans to escape with Finn and Cass.

Rey sucks in a breath and the world slows as she flashes back to what Finn taught her. _Picture your favorite element, and immerse yourself in it. Pick something that’s as familiar as your own skin, and then wear it like armor. Then show them only what you want them to see._

 _Alia’s element of choice is fire,_ Rey remembers. _What would work against that?_

She throws up a solid wall of earth and sand, just like Finn taught her, but she already knows that it won’t be enough. She has the horrible feeling that Alia will see -

 _That I’ll see what?_ Alia says, mocking here from inside her own mind. _If you don’t want me to know, I suggest you hide it quickly._

Rey knows that to Alia, this is a game, but to Rey, this is her life. Her future. She pictures a wall of fire to match Alia’s own, but Alia only _laughs_ inside her mind, making Rey shiver. Rey tries a waterfall next, thinking of the strange balance of ice and calm water that Finn holds inside him.

The barrage of water doesn’t even slow Alia down. _You’re making this too easy, Vaderling,_ she taunts. _And you’re going about this all wrong_. _You don’t need to use the Force to keep me away from whatever you’re planning, only wits and will. If you still have them, use them._

Rey knows she is prey being toyed with by its predator, and panic increases with every passing second. In her terror, her mind flashes back to the basement she was held captive in as a kidnapped child, so long ago.

And suddenly, Rey understands.

Even as Alia’s flames singe her thoughts, Rey reaches for that childhood memory, reconstructing that stone prison, and shoving her conversation with Cass inside. She slams the hatch, sealing the treacherous memory safely underneath the unyielding stone.

The memory is walled off just in time. Alia’s fire washes around the prison like a wave, unable to find a way in.

Rey _feels_ Alia’s annoyance, and then her begrudging respect. _That was better than I expected, Vaderling,_ she says, and then retreats, leaving Rey shivering and alone in her thoughts.

_*_

When Rey comes back to herself, she’s shaking on the floor on her hands and knees.

Surprisingly, Alia offers a hand and helps her up. When they’re both seated on the couch again, Alia says calmly, “You succeeded in hiding the details of your plan, but even still, I saw enough. If you’re thinking of escaping tonight -”

Rey sucks in a breath. _She knows,_ she thinks, panicked. _Alia knows what we’re up to, and she’s going to kill us both._

“ - take Finn with you.” Alia finishes.

“What?” Rey asks, eyes flying to Alia’s in surprise. “What did you -”

“If you escape on my watch, the Supreme Leader won’t kill me,” Alia says, her tone matter of fact. “Probably. He raised me, after all. And I don’t think Kylo Ren would either. Not with our lengthy history. They would want to punish me, though, and if they find out I have an apprentice, they’ll take an eye for an eye. They would kill Finn, just to make a point.”

Rey’s stomach turns to lead.

Alia’s voice is still calm though. Conversational. “Did you know that I’ve hidden Finn’s existence from them, so far? Even the Supreme Leader, my own lifelong master, doesn’t even know that I’ve taken an apprentice. It’s taken quite a deal of effort, to hide Finn from them, since both Kylo Ren and the Supreme Leader have direct lines to my thoughts. But I know what it is to be trained under the Supreme Leader, and I wouldn’t wish that fate on anyone. So no matter how much effort it costs me, I’m keeping Finn a secret, to keep him safe.”

Rey’s shaking now, out of fear of Kylo and Snoke, out of worry for Finn.

“Do you understand now, Vaderling?” Alia asks, when Rey remains frozen in silence and fear. “I’ve been lying to the two most powerful people in the galaxy, for Finn. That’s how much he means to me. That’s how much he deserves. So please, Vaderling. If you care about Finn, and you’re thinking of running, take him with you.”

Rey’s at a loss for words. _Is Alia serious? Is this a test?_

Rey's spared from responding when Finn reenters the room, carrying two bow-staffs. They’re similar in size to the one Rey’s fought with all her life, and her fingers immediately itch to reach out and begin sparring. She moves to stand, ready to be done with this terrifying conversation, but Alia grabs her forearm, nails digging into Rey’s skin as she holds her in place, out of earshot of Finn.

“Swear it, Vaderling,” Alia hisses, voice low and eyes fierce. “Swear you won’t leave if it endangers Finn. Swear on the Force.”

“I’ll protect him with my life,” Rey says back, low and sure. The air around her shifts and solidifies as she says it, as if her words are being made manifest in the living Force. “I swear it.”

Rey and Alia's eyes meet, just for a moment, and understanding passes between them. They may never like each other, but in this they are agreed - they will both do anything for Finn.

Alia nods once and releases Rey’s arm. Then they turn their attention to Finn as one.

*

“What’s going on?” Finn asks, looking keenly at Alia and Rey.

“Nothing, knightling,” Alia says, striding over to him, her voice back to normal. “Show me what you chose.”

Finn’s still looking at her warily, as if trying to sense what’s off. But Rey catches his eye and gives him a confident nod, and Finn’s shoulders relax. He turns his attention back to the task at hand.

Finn holds out three wooden bow staffs, and the wariness in his eyes quickly turns to excitement. “Rey, the doctor said that when you came in, there were pieces of a shattered staff with you. I don’t have a lot of experience in melee weapons, and well,” he grins at Rey, “Seeing that I kicked your ass this morning in training, I thought I’d give you a chance to redeem yourself from that embarrassing defeat.”

Rey’s immediately grateful for Finn’s familiar banter. She lets it pull her back to herself. “I don’t think you’re remembering this morning correctly,” she says, catching the staff Finn throws to her. It’s heavier than hers, made out of some sort of metal instead of wood, but it still feels so _right_ in her hand. “I distinctly remember kicking your ass. Do you want me to do it again?”

Finn grins, looking at Alia for permission before he takes off at a run toward the large training room.

“Hey wait!” Rey calls. Her leg might be improving by leaps and bounds, but she still can’t move any faster than a quick walk. “That’s not fair!”

She starts to lope along after Finn, when she hears Alia’s voice, soft behind her. “Rey, stop.”

Rey stops, and waits with a strange mix of curiosity and dread as Alia approaches her. She’s expecting another lecture about Finn and escape, or possibly another barrage of insults. Instead, Alia simply steps behind Rey and unclasps the Force necklace in a single, smooth motion.

Rey gasps as the world around her comes to life once more. She’d been able to _see_ the Force before, even with the Force dampening charm, but she couldn’t quite touch it, and it had been maddening. Now, she’s connected to the song of the universe once more, and it feels glorious.

Rey hadn’t realized, until she was cut off from it these past few days, how much she relies on the Force in every aspect of her life. She interacts with the Force on so many levels: it’s her guide to the world around her, her eyes and ears, her constant companion. It’s been her only constant friend in her turbulent life, and she’s glad to have it back now.

“Thank you,” she whispers to Alia.

“Don’t make me regret trusting you, Vaderling,” Alia says, stepping back in front of Rey. “And try not to blow anything up, this time.”

Rey grins in spite of herself, and then follows along after Finn.

*

_Finn_

Finn loved sparring with Rey this morning on Kanis. He loved watching her mind work as she tried to outwit him, and he loved the challenge of outwitting her. She was a worthy opponent then, even without full access to the Force. Now, though, she is _glorious._ She’s circling him in the large, round training room, her eyes alight and her black bow staff in constant motion, even as she circles, so he can’t tell where she’s going to strike next.

Finn watches for an opening, and then moves in for a strike, but Rey's ready for him. She blocks and counterstrikes twice - once to his ribs and once at his thigh - before he even knows what hit him.

“Shit,” Finn says, holding his side. “You don’t hold back, do you?”

“Never,” Rey says with a blazing grin. She gives him a moment to catch his breath though, and he’s grateful.

Then Alia enters the room, holding a bow staff of her own. Finn feels her at once, as he always does, and he has an idea. He catches Rey’s eye and flicks his gaze to Alia, once.

Rey gives him the tiniest of nods and then they’re both charging at Alia, weapons poised to strike.

Alia waves a lazy hand and freezes them both in mid strike. Looking unperturbed, she takes her time calmly removing her robe, and folding it neatly on a shelf. Then she releases Finn and Rey, a look of challenge in her eyes, at the same time that she says, “Let’s begin.”

*

All three of them need the medbay by the end of the afternoon. Alia only has a few minor cuts, but Finn’s ribs are bruised and Rey’s leg is aching. She’s sporting a variety of bruises too, but just like Finn and Alia, she’s grinning with glee.

 _There’s nothing quite like the rush of battle to make you feel alive,_ Rey thinks.

“You shouldn’t be fighting in your condition,” Doctor Noble says to her sternly, but Rey just smiles at her through a swollen eye and a split lip.

“Lady Alia, why are you allowing this?” the doctor demands, turning her stern gaze on the knight. "You know that she's still injured!"

For one moment, Alia deflates like a scolded child instead of a Knight of Ren. Then she straightens and says, “She has to learn somehow. Do you have a better suggestion?”

“Yes!” Doctor Noble says, clearly exasperated. “Rest, nutrients, and hydration, like I’ve been saying since the beginning! This girl’s in no shape to face the dangers of battle. What are you playing at?”

“I’m not playing,” Alia says, giving her a level stare, “You know as well as I do that this isn’t a game.”

The room falls silent at her words. Doctor Noble looks up from where she’s been fussing over Finn, clearly at a loss for words. “Even so,” the doctor says finally, “You need to be more careful with Rey while she’s healing. I’ve spent too much time patching this girl up for it all to go to waste.”

Doctor Noble steps back and looks at the three of them - Finn with his ribs wrapped, Alia with bacta-covered cuts and bruises running up and down her arms, and Rey with blooming bruises everywhere - and shakes her head.

“Will you at least let me fit you with a different brace?” she asks Rey, clearly having given up on arguing with Alia. “It will provide you with more protection the next time you decide that sparring is more important than healing.”

“Okay,” Rey says. She’d felt amazing all afternoon, but now that the fierce joy of battle is fading, and she just feels tired. And a little woozy. 

“I’d like to give you an IV-drip too,” the doctor says, eyeing Rey. “At least let me get some hydration in you before I discharge you for the night.”

Rey eyes the doctor warily. “Can Finn put in the IV?”

“Knights of Ren can clearly do whatever they want,” the doctor says, clearly still annoyed that Rey’s been fighting instead of resting. “Do you know how to set an IV line?” she asks Finn, and he nods.

“Fine,” the doctor says, throwing her hands up. “I’ll be in my office if you need me.”

Alia stands too, and stretches. “I’m going to go check in with Cass. Comm me if you need anything.”

Finn nods, and then Alia's leaving too, and Finn and Rey are alone in the place they first met.

*

Finn goes to work, grabbing supplies and laying them out while Rey watches him, her expression open.

For a moment he flashes back to the first time he saw her, in this very room. Back then she was she was desperate and half-feral, terrified and trying to escape. Now she holds her arm out willingly, and watches him fondly as he cleans and preps the back of her hand. _It’s just some nutrients and hydration to help your body heal,_ he had said, the first time he’d done this.

Once he’s sterilized her hand, he reaches for the IV needle and pauses. “Are you going to stab me again if I do this?” he says, with a teasing grin.

Rey shakes her head and returns his smile, and Finn _knows_ they’re being ridiculous, sappy and silly, but he doesn’t even care. Because in this moment, in the midst of a war, he’s with the woman he loves more than anything.

He sets the IV and orders dinner for the both of them, typing Rey’s favorites into the datapad by memory.

Then he has an idea. “I know you hate hover chairs,” he says to Rey, “but this drip is going to take a couple hours. If you let me set it up on the back of a chair, we can go eat in the big hydrodomes. I’ve been wanting to show you those and well. There’s no time like the present.”

Rey's eyes meet his and he sees so much joy, and hope, in those eyes. The same joy and hope she probably sees in his.

“That sounds nice,” she says. “It will be like a date.”

“Exactly.”

Behind them, the doctor reenters the room and clears her throat. “Before _I_ clear the patient to go anywhere, she needs to have her brace refit. And I need to have a word with her. Will you give us a moment?”

The doctor’s voice sounds off, a little dreamy, but Rey nods to Finn, and so he stands to leave.

He closes the door to Rey’s room behind him and turns to the one-way view glass outside her room, still wanting to watch over her, even for something so minor as a leg brace.

He sees the doctor fit her with something that looks sturdier, with more padding on the outside to protect her from blows. It looks bulkier too, and harder to manage, but he assumes that Doctor Noble knows what she’s doing. She’s been running this medbay for years, after all.

He turns on the intercom to listen in, and hears the doctor explaining which exercises Rey should do in the mornings and at night. He’s just beginning to relax when he sees another figure enter the room, hooded in robes like Alia’s, but definitely _not_ Alia. Not even human. He catches a glimpse of orange skin and blue and white montrails before the figure turns its back to him.

The hooded figure waves a hand near the doctor’s face and says in a soothing tone, “You will turn off all recording equipment and wait for us in your office.”

“I will turn off all recording equipment and wait for us in your office,” the doctor repeats, her face vacant.

“And you will tell no one of this,” the figure says, waving her hand again.

“I will tell no one of this.”

In his shock, Finn waits a moment too long to react, and by the time he reaches for the door, it’s already locked. The view glass to the room turns suddenly black, even as the commlink cuts off into static.

Then he’s pounding at the door, and yelling for Alia over their bond, yelling for help, for anyone. But it doesn’t matter because he hesitated too long, and now Rey’s stuck in a room with some kind of monster, and he’s stuck out here in the suffocating dark.

*

Agonizing minutes later, the window glass clears and he sees Rey sitting alone and sobbing. He tries the door and finds it unlocked, so he rushes in to her at once, gathering her in his arms.

“What happened?” he asks, but Rey just shakes her head, letting him hold her. “Rey, look at me. Who was that?”

“A messenger from Cass,” she says, looking up at last. “She said that...well, it doesn’t matter now. Tonight’s off, Finn. We’re not going anywhere.”

Finn’s heart sinks, but he tries not to show it. “What changed?” he asks. “Is Cass not coming?”

“No, she’s coming,” Rey says, and she sounds both bitter and defeated. “But she’s only willing to take me.”

Finn’s world tilts at the thought of staying on Starkiller Base without Rey. Her presence here is the only thing that made his stay bearable. But he’ll find a way to make this work. He always does.

Rey’s leaning into him now, her whole body shaking with sobs. “It’s okay,” Finn says, trying to keep the devastation from his voice. “I’ll find my own way out. Maybe I can even convince Alia to help. I’ll escape when as I can, and meet up with you then. Okay, Rey? It’s going to be okay.”

Rey pulls away, her face stricken. “You don’t understand, Finn,” she says. “I’m not going anywhere tonight. Not without you. Neither of us is leaving base tonight.”

Doctor Noble emerges from her office then, shaking her head and looking bewildered. “Oh there you are!” she says, spotting Rey, as if she hadn't been in there just minutes before. “We need to finish talking about your treatment plan.”

The doctor sits at Rey’s eye level and pointedly ignores Finn as she talks Rey through the features of her new brace.

“Since I clearly can’t convince you to stop fighting until you’re healed, I want you in here morning and night to check your blood levels.” She rummages through some drawers and pulls out nutrient shakes, handing them to Rey. “I want you drinking these as well. I’m still not pleased that you’re not in here resting, but you are healing well. If you keep up the physical therapy routine we discussed, and make sure you get proper nutrition, I think you’ll be just fine.”

Rey’s eyes are tired, but she looks genuinely pleased at that news. She squeezes Finn’s hand, and he lets her touch soothe him.

“Could we go eat dinner now?” Rey asks the doctor. “In the hydrodome?”

“Only if you promise to let that nutrient drip do its job,” the doctor says sternly, motioning to the clear liquid bag attached to a hoverchair floating near Rey. “And keep off your feet for a few hours. If you can do that, then yes. You may go.”

Rey nods and looks to Finn, eyes tired but still glinting with hope. “I can do that,” she says.

Finn knows they’re both utterly drained from the emotional whiplash of being so close to escape, only to find out that they're still trapped, but there’s something hopeful in this exchange with the doctor. Even on base, there’s someone else who cares about Rey. And they now have some small goals, and a routine, that will keep them sane while they wait and watch for their next chance to escape.

*

“It’s not forever, you know,” Finn says as they eat.

They’re in the giant hydro dome that Finn visited with Alia only a day before. He feels gutted and raw, but the lush plants around them and the kyber crystals mixed into the walls sing a song of peace to him, and he lets the soothing notes warm his heart.

On instinct, he reaches for the kyber-infused gemstone that should be around his neck, but finds it missing. “Shit,” he says, “Our necklaces.”

“It’s okay,” Rey says, a little absently. “I already asked Alia about it. We left them at Cass’s house, but Alia asked Cass if she’d bring them tonight, when she comes to deliver the rest of the weapons.”

“Oh. Good,” Finn says. He looks out the enormous windows at the light blue sky, already darkening to sunset hues of purples and gold. _Cass will be here soon,_ he thinks, stomach sinking. _And we won’t be going with her._

He watches Rey eat, and picks at his own food. For the first time in his life, he’s not hungry.

“It’s okay,” Rey says again, touching his arm, and this time he knows she’s not talking about the necklaces. “We’ll be okay here.”

Rey sounds like she’s trying - and failing - to convince herself, but she keeps going, her tone light. “We’ll figure it out, Finn. We’ll think of another plan, and we have things to do in the meantime, until then. I have my routine with Doctor Noble, physical therapy and whatnot, and we have Alia. That’s something.”

“Alia?” Finn echoes, confused. “I didn’t think you two got along.”

Rey stirs her pudding. “We found common ground today,” she says at last. “And came to a truce of sorts. We both care about you.”

Finn’s oddly touched. And for the first time, since he found out about their ruined plans, he starts to feel hopeful. “So we’ll train together,” he says lightly, realizing that Rey probably needs hope right now as much as he does. “Alia already promised me I could build a saber, and I bet you can build one too. You’ll work on your health, and we’ll have our own sabers, and we’ll train every day.”

“And we’ll be together,” Rey whispers, finishing his thought. She pushes her food aside and rests her head on his shoulder.

Finn runs a hand through her hair, finally feeling his heartbeat slow, knowing that she’s here, and safe, and beside him. “We’ll be together,” he repeats.

As the sun sets, they share one last, perfect moment of contentment.

Then Kylo Ren bursts through the hydrodome doors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the Finnrey pain train, folks! I already apologize for what comes next.


	20. Sunset (Rey's Choice)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the Finnrey Pain Train!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning that this chapter is Sad.

A handful of minutes before Kylo flings open the great glass doors to the hydro dome, Finn and Rey are peacefully enjoying the sunset. Then Finn hears Alia’s voice in his head, over their bond. 

 _Finn, RUN._ _Wherever you are, leave Rey, and get out of there NOW._  

Finn looks around wildly. If he’s in danger then Rey is too, and he’s not about to leave her behind. She’s literally in a hover chair, and hooked up to an IV drip, trying to recuperate from a long day of sparring in which they all pushed themselves too far. There’s no way he’s going to leave her in this state, to face whatever’s coming alone. 

 _I’m not going anywhere without Rey,_ Finn shoots back to Alia, still over their bond. 

 _LEAVE. HER. BEHIND,_ Alia sends. _If you’ve ever trusted me Finn, then trust me on this. And RUN._  

Their bond suddenly goes quiet, like comm static cutting off. Finn swears under his breath and turns to Rey, who’s sitting ramrod straight in her chair, eyes wide.

“What’s wrong?” Rey asks. 

“We have to go,” Finn says. He starts toward the giant glass doors of the hydrodome, and Rey follows without hesitation, matching his pace in her chair. She doesn’t ask where they’re going, or why, and the fact that she trusts him without question warms Finn to his bones. Still, he needs to know what’s happening, especially if he’s navigating for two.

 _What’s going on?_ Finn sends to Alia, Alia she doesn’t respond. Finn hopes nothing has happened to her, but either way the message is clear: he and Rey are on their own. They’re still far from the only exit Finn can see, trapped inside the enormous greenhouse, when the grand glass doors open, and Kylo Ren steps inside. 

“Shit,” Rey says, backing up at once. 

“You’re not wrong,” Finn replies, backing away without taking his eyes off Kylo. 

Kylo Ren is walking toward them slowly, almost leisurely. The only sound in the dome is his modulated breathing, and the lazy swing of his saber as he strolls forward, slashing at random fruit trees as he goes. 

Finn knows that Kylo’s toying with them with this deliberately slow pace. This is nothing more than predator, teasing his prey. 

Finn’s mind, as it often does in battle, clears and stills. Then, he knows what he needs to do. “I’ll keep an eye on Kylo,” he whispers to Rey. “Check for weapons and exists.” 

Rey’s already a step ahead of him, scanning the room for anything they can use to their advantage. “No other exits,” she says quickly. “And the only potential weapons are a pile of farming tools in the corner there. So unless you want to face down Kylo Ren with a garden hose…” 

“We’re screwed,” Finn says.   

“Yeah,” Rey agrees. “But we’re together, and that’s not nothing.” 

Again Finn’s world slows, and the tactical part of his mind takes over. He has two borrowed lightsabers clipped to his belt - Alia would never leave him unarmed, even on base - and two throwing knives. It’s not enough, but it’s what they have. 

Kylo’s halfway to them now, still silent except for the sound of his saber casually tearing through fruit trees on his way to them. Finn knows they have precious seconds left. Beside him Rey’s on her feet now, already in a battle stance. He hands her one of his sabers, and both knives. Finn’s fairly certain that unless Alia shows up with a miracle, this is where he dies. 

As if hearing his thoughts, Rey touches his arm, lending him her strength, and Finn spends the last moment before battle drinking in her touch. 

“We can do this,” Rey says, steel in her voice. “Or go down fighting.” 

“Or go down fighting,” Finn repeats. “Together.” 

Then Kylo Ren’s on top of them, and they raise their sabers as one. 

* 

Finn’s grateful that earlier that day, while sparring against Alia, he and Rey had developed their own battle rhythm. It isn’t anything as precise as the Force bond that Finn shares with Alia, but he can read Rey in a way he can’t read most people. 

Apparently, Rey can read him too, because at the same second Finn steps forward to meet Kylo’s first blow, Rey steps around Kylo and aims a fast jab to his ribs. 

It’s a good plan, and it would have worked, except that Kylo Ren’s reach is enormous. Rey’s quick and adaptable, but her reach is much shorter, so her jab barely singes the fabric of Kylo’s black robes. 

Kylo swings toward Rey, lightning fast, and strikes her shoulder even as she pivots away. Then Kylo turns back toward Finn, already meeting Finn’s next blow.

Next, Rey throws one of the knives, well aimed at Kylo’s throat, but Kylo freezes it in midair. The sharp steel blade hangs, suspended, an eerie reminder of the precarious situation they’re all in.

They carry on like this - Finn and Rey attempting to synch their strikes, and Kylo Ren warding them both off with ease. 

Finally, Rey gets in a single hit - a deep stab to Kylo’s thigh - and is immediately rewarded with a shallow slice across her abdomen. 

She gasps and steps back. Her face shows no pain though, only anger. 

“You are a monster, Kylo Ren,” Rey says, eyes blazing. “And I’m going to kill you.” 

* 

To Rey’s surprise, Kylo Ren takes a step back at her words, as if they were a physical blow. 

“A monster, am I?” Kylo hisses, even as he parries another blow from Finn. Finn and Rey are circling him now,  silently communicating while they look for opportunities to strike. 

“Yes,” Rey replies, holding onto her anger so she doesn’t drown in her fear. “And you’ll pay for what you’ve done.” 

“Will I?” Kylo says, and now his modulated voice is pure ice. “Tell me, little one, what is it that you think I have done?” 

Rey’s breathing hard with the effort of the fight, but Kylo seems barely bothered by their attempts, as if they’re only insects to him - annoying, but easy to brush off. This is his mistake. 

“You killed my brother,” Rey says, turning off her saber and standing tall, hoping that Finn understands what she’s doing, and that Kylo will take her bait. 

“You killed Ben Solo,” Rey repeats again. “And for that, you will die.” 

* 

Kylo Ren stalks toward the girl, forgetting the other fighter in his anger. His old name on Rey’s lips makes him see red, and for a moment, there’s nothing in the world but the two of them. Kylo knows there’s no way to win Rey’s trust now. Not when Alia’s already turned her against him. Taken his very last hope from him. 

 _If Rey already thinks I’m a monster, I might as well be one._  

Kylo feels the other fighter at his back, ready to strike, but wards him off with a heavy Force push, flinging him across the giant space, buying himself time to decide what to do with the person he once loved, more than anything. 

Kylo can feel Rey’s fear as he advances, can see the absolute hatred in her eyes. _Good,_ he thinks, as another part of him dies. _This is what the Supreme Leader wants. This is what will make Rey strong._

“If you want me to be a monster,” Kylo says out loud, “then I will be. All of this is for you, after all.” 

Rey’s saber is blazing and raised again, though her hands are shaking as he nears. Her furious look wavers into something like confusion when he speaks, and Kylo can’t bear to see that conflicted look in her eyes. He knows it all too well in his own, and he can’t face her emotions as well as his own. 

Kylo tightens his first, ripping Rey’s consciousness from her, and she falls like a stone onto the ground. 

* 

Rey’s plan of distraction was a good one, and Finn’s a hair’s breadth away from slicing Kylo’s spine, when he’s sent sailing across the giant greenhouse like a twig in a gale. He lands on his feet and summons his saber back to himself, turning at once to rejoin the fight. 

Then something stops Finn dead in his tracks. It’s like nothing he’s ever experienced before. All of his muscles turn to lead at once, and he’s suddenly trapped, unable to move anything but his eyes. _What the -_  

Across the great greenhouse, he sees Rey go limp and fall to the ground, and he screams her name inside his head, struggling against the invisible bonds that have taken even his _voice_ away.  

Then Alia Ren steps in front of him, blocking his view of Kylo and Rey. 

 _What. Are. You. Doing._ he demands, speaking over their bond, in the only voice he has left. _Can’t you see what’s happening over there? He has Rey! And he’s going to do kill her!_

“No, he’s not,” Alia says, voice tight. For the first time, Finn realizes that Alia might not be happy about this situation either. 

“Although killing her at this point might be a kindness. But no, knightling, Kylo Ren’s not going to kill Rey. He’s going to offer to train her. And you and I aren’t going to do a damn thing about it.” 

*

Alia Ren watches as, across the giant room, Rey wakes and tries to flee. Kylo’s on the girl within seconds, shoving her down and circling her huddled form. She's too far away to hear what Kylo's saying, and she's glad of that. Words are one of Kylo's favorite weapons, and he weilds them with glee.

Beside Alia, Finn’s fighting her Force hold furiously, and sending her three words, over and over: _Let. Me. Go._  

“No.”

 _You can’t be serious,_ Finn sends, anger clear in his thoughts.

Alia regrets taking Finn’s voice from him - she hates it, actually - but if Finn draws attention to them now, they’re both in danger. 

“I am serious,” Alia says, more calmly than she feels. “I can’t protect you both.” 

 _Then protect Rey!_  

“Kylo will kill you if I do,” Alia says, far more calmly than she feels.

 _I’d like to see him try._  

Alia steps away from Finn, and sighs. He’s fighting so hard against her Force hold now that she can feel her control starting to slip. So she closes her eyes, grounds herself, and rips his consciousness from him, catching him in gentle hands and laying him out of harm’s way. It tears something from her as well. Overpowering Finn like this makes her sick, but it will keep him alive. Isn’t that worth the means, in the end?

Alia turns her back on her regrets, and on her sleeping apprentice, and tells herself to _think._ How many ways can this scene end?

She could stop Kylo. She _should_ stop him, probably. But she’s be forfeiting Finn’s life if she did, and possibly Rey’s as well. In a fight between the four of them, only Alia or Kylo would likely emerge alive.  

_Not ideal. Think, Alia. How else could this go?_

Kylo could come back to her. They could once again fight side by side, like they’d done for years, and together they could finish the mission they started when they met, long ago. 

 _Unlikely, unless -_  

Rey might remind Kylo of who he once was, and the four of them could emerge from this day as allies. Alia and Kylo could train Finn and Rey side by side, and Kylo and Alia could fulfill the oaths they'd sworn to each other, years ago. 

Or, Kylo might win Rey over to his cause, and the galaxy could gain yet another Darth Vader - a powerful lapdog to an even more powerful Sith.

Alia’s a realist, so she knows the latter is far more likely. It’s why she’s been training Rey in Kylo’s exact weaknesses for days, never telling the girl as much. Rey has what she needs to fight back against Kylo, if that’s what she chooses. And that’s what this moment is all about: Rey’s choice. Kylo’s choice. Finn’s heart. Alia’s future. 

It’s a long shot, and a foolish hope, but Alia decides to give Kylo Ren this one, last chance to come back to her. She holsters her twin sabers, and waits. 

* 

When Rey wakes in the dirt, Kylo Ren’s back is to her. 

Thinking that this is her chance to escape, she begins to crawl quietly away. She makes it a few meters and halfway to her feet before Kylo turns and thrusts out a shaking, gloved hand. Rey’s muscles turn to stone, keeping her frozen where she’s crouched, unable to move or scream as Kylo Ren stalks slowly toward her. 

Rey wants to stand, wants to scream or run or face him, meeting her end with her head held high. But she’s trapped in her own body, and all she can do is glare and fling hateful thoughts his way as he begins to circle her, looking down at her from above. All she can do is listen as he begins to speak. 

“Do you know who I am, little scavenger?” His voice is harsh and hollow, and so very _wrong_ that Rey can feel it in her bones.  

She doesn’t answer, since she can’t move her lips to speak, so Kylo raises a gloved hand with a quick jerk, and Rey finds herself being pulled to her feet. She still can’t move her limbs, and her muscles already ache from fighting his hold on them, but at least she’s standing, and now she can talk. 

“You’re Kylo Ren.” 

“I am,” Kylo says, and his modulated voice is pleasant, almost conversational. “But do you know who I am to _you_ little one?”  

Rey pauses. _Haven’t they already talked about this?  "_ You’re the monster who killed my brother,” she repeats, her confidence wavering. 

“That’s true,” Kylo says, sounding thoughtful now. “From a certain point of view. More to the point, though, I'm also the man who searched the galaxy for you, who nursed you back to health, and who spent the last week crafting the perfect training plan to make you into the glorious Knight you can be."

He leans toward her, his energy like ice. “Let me show you who I really am, and who you can be too, if you choose to join me.” Before Rey can protest, Kylo’s cupping her face in a mockery of tenderness, and she’s pulled into a vision. 

* 

 _In the vision Rey sees herself, standing tall and no longer injured, sparks of purple lightning dancing from her palms as she stalks through an unknown planet, incinerating anyone who dares get in her way._  

 _Then the vision blurs and resets, and she’s fighting side by side with Kylo Ren, intense power pulsing through their bond. Power like she’s never felt before._  

You’d never have to scavenge for food again, _Kylo murmurs inside her head, his voice far too intimate for her liking._ You’d never go hungry, or be vulnerable, or alone. You’d never be without me by your side. 

 _*_  

Rey pulls herself from the vision and finds herself once again in her own body, facing her brother’s murderer.

“Listen to me closely, _jedi killer_ , _”_ Rey says, venom in her voice. “I will never, _ever_ want you by my side. And I will never willingly stand by yours.”  

“I believe you will,” Kylo says, calm certainty in his tone. 

“Never,” Rey says, cold fury in her voice. “I will _never_ serve you.” 

Kylo laughs, and it makes her skin crawl. “We’ll see." 

“Now then,” Kylo says, stepping back, his voice once again eerily pleasant, “let’s see what Alia’s been filling your head with while I was away.” 

Rey knows what will happen before it does, so she throws up her sandstorm, her most familiar of mental walls. Kylo’s mind breaks through in an instant. His thoughts feel like acid tearing through her skull, white hot fingers sifting through her brain. 

The pain is blinding, but Rey resists, putting every ounce of energy into those tornado walls. 

Kylo pulls away, suddenly, leaving her gasping for air. 

“Alia has trained you well,” Kylo murmurs, and there’s somehow both pride and scorn in his voice. “But not well enough. I’ll break you soon, little one.” 

He releases her without warning and Rey falls to the ground, gasping in pain. She glares up at him and hisses, “What do you want with me?” 

“Your power,” Kylo says casually, walking a lazy circle around her. “Your allegiance. Your submission.” 

Rey’s eyes go wide in horror, and she scoots away from him quickly. She manages to stand, but as soon as she does he’s on her again, his grip like iron on her arms. 

Rey spits in his face. It only hits his mask, of course - she’s still never seen the monster underneath - but the symbol of her defiance, marring his mask, is something she will never forget. 

The air around them grow still, and Kylo’s voice goes deadly calm. “Do. Not. Test. Me,” he says. “You will not like what you find.” 

He bursts into her thoughts again, and this time he’s on a mission. Rey throws up her wall of swirling sand and shoves everything precious - her offer of escape from Paige, her conversations with Alia, her feelings for Finn - under that solid stone prison she keeps in her mind.

For a fleeting moment, Rey thinks she’s safe. Even Kylo’s horrid acid can’t melt those stone walls, and she breathes a sigh of relief, thinking that she’s hidden everything important in time.

Then he Kylo pulls from her mind, and she’s in her body again, squirming against his grip on her arms. His touch, too feels like acid, and she wants to cry out for Finn, but stops herself just in time. The last thing she wants is to put Finn in Kylo Ren’s crosshairs.

“Too late,” Kylo says, his modulated voice filled with vicious glee. “I’ve seen the way you look at him. The things you _feel_ for him. How generous of you, to have such a weakness ready and waiting for me to exploit. You’re already so amenable to my training.”

“No,” Rey whispers, her eyes going wide. “Not Finn.”

“Oh yes,” Kylo says, gripping her arm even harder. “You will come with me, and you will do it without complaint, or I will kill him slowly and make you watch.”

Rey shivers as the absolute _truth_ in his words wash over her. She knows he won’t hesitate to make good on his threat. She also knows that she has lost. Because there's nothing,  _nothing_ she wouldn't do to keep Finn safe. Even putting herself in the hands of her greatest enemy.

Rey swallows the bile rising in her throat, and makes her choice. “What would you have me do?” she asks, her voice as steady as she can make it.

“Bow before me,” Kylo says at once, “Now. And be on my ship within the hour. It’s time to begin your training, my apprentice.”

*

Finn wakes just in time to see Rey bow to Kylo and follow him out of the room.

Rey spares Finn a single glance as she leaves, her jaw determined but her eyes wrecked. She opens her mouth to say something, but Kylo barks an order and Rey follows at his heels, eyes cast to the ground.

Finn’s on his feet in seconds, bolting straight for Rey, but once again Kylo Ren swats him back like a fly with a single flick of his wrist. 

Finn gains his feet, dizzy but determined. “Rey!” he screams out, stumbling after her. “Rey!” Then his muscles lock up again again and he’s trapped once again in Alia’s Force hold.

Finn wants to shout after Rey, _I love you,_ and _Don’t go,_ but he can’t, because Alia, the teacher he once trusted, is keeping him trapped and voiceless in his own body, stopping him from saving the woman he loves. Stopping him from reasoning with her, or saving her, or even saying goodbye.

For the first time in his life, Finn knows what it is to hate another human being.

* 

Alia Ren watches, her heart sinking, as Rey follows Kylo toward the Knight’s hangar bay.

She feels Finn’s turmoil beside her - he’s projecting it absolutely everywhere - and she wants to reach out to him, to comfort him now. It’s not a skill that she was ever taught, but she resolves to try.

Still restraining Finn in a tight Force grip, Alia allows him his voice. Then she steps in front of him. “Finn,” she says, removing one glove and touching his face, skin on skin. “Look at me.”

Finn closes his eyes at her touch, and for one foolish, hopeful moment, Alia thinks that he will forgive her for keeping him from Rey. That he’ll listen, and understand when she explains the whole story. Then Finn opens his eyes, and they’re full of frozen fury, and Alia knows that she was very, very wrong.  

“Take. Your. Hands. Off. Me,” Finn says, eyes slitted, voice eerily calm. His words are shards of ice, slicing through Alia’s skin, and he’s not done. “You’ve lost the right to touch me, ever, _ever_ again. Do you understand that, Alia Ren? Do you understand what you’ve just done to me? To Rey?”

“Finn, I-”

“Save it. I’ve only trusted two people, in my entire life, and you both just betrayed me. At least Rey had the decency to do it to my face, and she’s probably under duress from that monster. He’s probably brainwashing and kidnapping her right now. What’s your excuse for betrayal, _my lady_?”

Finn’s anger is a physical thing. It’s not blazing and searing like Alia’s, but it’s cold, calculating, and precise. Finn’s anger is a scalpel, not a sword, but every bit as capable of flailing you raw.

“My entire life, the First Order has taken away my right to choose,” Finn’s saying now, slicing through Alia’s heart. “And now you have too. You’re no better than them.”

Alia recoils at the horrible truth. “I know you’re upset, knightling -”

“ _Don’t. Call. Me. That._ You’ve lost the right. My name is Finn Ren _._ ”

Finn's words are swift punch to her gut, and Alia’s instincts are to fight back, blow for blow. But this is Finn. And Finn deserves a better teacher than she was even given. So Alia stops, and breathes, makes her voice as gentle as she can.

“Fine then, Finn. I know you’re upset, but if you would just trust me -”

“ _No_.”

Alia ignores the vengeful instincts that rise up at his cold rejection. The better part of her knows that Finn’s right: she violated him by taking away his consciousness, his voice. She stopped Finn from acting, and now Kylo has Rey. Alia knows how she must look to Finn now - like a monster. But that doesn't stop the anger that comes.

“Fine,” Alia spits, matching Finn’s tone. “Hate me if you want to, _Finn Ren_ , but you’re smarter than this. It’s Kylo Ren you want revenge against, not me. It’s Kylo who’s holding Rey captive, and dragging her off to Force knows where. So hate me all you want, but if you want to take down Kylo, or see Rey again, you need me. And we need a plan.”

Silence.

Then finally: “We? You’d help me take down Kylo Ren?”

“Yes,” Alia says at once, meeting his eyes. “You and I, Finn Ren, have more in common than you know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a good time to reiterate that Kylo Ren is a villain, and no matter how much conflict he feels, it's his choices that matter. Also, his views are very much **not** the views of the author. 
> 
> Once again, **Kylo Ren is a villain.** He does Bad things and is a Bad Person. 
> 
> Alright, now that we've cleared that up, let's carry on!


	21. The Longest Night (Doctor Noble's Choice)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _In the greenhouse on Starkiller Base, Rey bows to her brother’s killer, and follows him out of the room._
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> [Chapter Art](https://the-bi-writer.tumblr.com/post/166823177980/new-chap-of-no-redemption-is-up-title-the) | [No Redemption tumblr tag](https://the-bi-writer.tumblr.com/tagged/no_redemption)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks, as always, to my fabulous betas [classic-vision](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Classic_Vision/pseuds/Classic_Vision) and [conn8d](http://archiveofourown.org/users/conn8d/pseuds/conn8d). You both are amazing.

In the greenhouse on Starkiller Base, Rey bows to her brother’s killer, and follows him out of the room.

Rey hesitates as she passes Finn. She wants nothing more than to run to him, and hug him, and never let go. To run away with him. To be doing anything but what she’s doing now. But Rey knows that if she did, both of them would end up dead. Rey of Jakku is above all a survivor, and Finn is a part of her now too, so death is not an option. For either of them.

 _That’s why I’m doing this, after all,_ Rey reminds herself. _I’m giving up my freedom to save Finn’s life._

It’s the only choice Rey ever could have made, but she knows her resolve will break if she looks at Finn now. So she stares at the ground as she follows Kylo, the man who now controls her fate.

 _He doesn’t, Rey,_ a voice  suddenly says inside Rey’s head. _Kylo Ren doesn’t control your fate._

Rey looks up, surprised, and catches Alia’s eye. Alia nods, and continues speaking inside Rey’s mind. _Remember that, Rey. No one controls your destiny but you. Kylo Ren can’t force you to serve him. No one can. You are still your own master, if you so choose._

Rey doesn’t have time to ponder this right now. Kylo’s barking at her to keep up in that awful modulated voice of his, and she does, tucking Alia’s words away for later reflection.

*

Just outside the Knight's hangar bay, out of sight of Finn and Alia, Kylo's commlink beeps. He stops, reads the message, and turns to Rey.

“I have something to see to,” Kylo says. “Pack whatever you think you’ll need to survive my training, and be on my ship by the time I return. Starkiller’s shields open in a quarter hour, so I suggest you move quickly.” He steps closer to Rey, towering over her by at least a head. “If you disobey, I won’t hesitate to make good on my threat. That knight you’re so smitten with will be flayed alive, slowly, while you watch frozen, just out of reach.”

Rey shivers, chilled to the bone by his modulated words. Then she stands as straight as she can, ignoring the pain in her gut and her leg for the time being. “I’ll be there.”

She expects Kylo Ren to turn and leave, but instead he steps toward her and grips her by the throat, lifting her so only her toes touch the ground.

“Did Alia teach you no matters?” Kylo hisses. “Is that how you address your superiors?”

Rey struggles to get free, anger heating her cheeks, but Kylo doesn’t let go. Rey wants to spit on his mask again, but this time she doesn’t dare. Not until they’re away from this Starkiller Base. Not until Finn is safe.

“I’m sorry,” Rey chokes out. “I’ll be there, _sir_.”

Kylo releases his hold on her. “See that you are.”

With that, he retreats, leaving Rey truly alone for the first time since she’s been on Starkiller Base.

* * *

_Doctor Noble_

Doctor Noble looks at Rey's tests results, and swears.

She's been unceremoniously informed that Kylo’s leaving base, that he’s taking Rey with him, and that she, Doctor Noble, should prepare a treatment kit for Rey’s continued care.

She doesn’t know what Kylo has in store for Rey, but she knows it won’t be kind. He’s known for his sadistic temper, and Rey’s in no shape to fight back. The alarming numbers on Rey’s chart, staring Doctor Noble in the face, prove that beyond a doubt.

Just days ago Rey was bedbound; now she’s being whisked away to an unknown location by a volatile knight. And, unless Doctor Noble intervenes, Rey will be going alone.

Doctor Noble’s comm beeps again, and she curses. Kylo Ren is just minutes away, and is expecting a full report and packed supplies.

She hesitates.

When Kylo walks through the medbay doors, she could hand him what he’d asked for, and turn her back. She could allow him to take her injured patient captive, against all ethics and reason, and go on to live another day.

But could she live with herself, if she sent Rey with Kylo, knowing what she knows?

The doctor takes a deep breath, because the other option is unthinkable: she could defy Kylo Ren, and request to accompany him.

It would be a suicide mission, one way or the other, and she knows it.

Kylo might kill her just for asking. Alternatively, he might say yes. He might allow her this one chance, in a lifetime filled with corruption and compromise, to do something right. But that too, would only end in her death. She’s sure of it.

Kylo opens her office door, and Rhyssa Noble jumps to her feet. She’s done many unspeakable things during her long career at the First Order, including saving the lives of many men who deserved to die. But now? Now she has the chance to do something right.

Doctor Rhyssa Noble steels her resolve, and opens her mouth to speak.

* * *

_Rey_

The Knights of Ren hangar bay is empty but for two ships. One Rey recognizes as Paige’s - a Mandalorian model, painted in peach and rose - and the other is a sleek black monstrosity that must belong to Kylo Ren. The ships are parked on on opposite sides of the spacious hangar, like wary rival combatants. Rey looks back and forth between them, and her resolve to go with Kylo wavers.

There’s a steady line of cargo transport droids coming from Paige’s ship, presumably delivering the rest of Alia’s order. Without even meaning to, Rey follows the line of droids to Paige's ship, and up the boarding ramp.

She’s immediately enveloped in a tight hug, and quickly released.

“Force, Rey,” Paige says. “You scared me. I thought you weren’t going to make it in time for the shield opening. Are you ready to go home?”

Rey purses her lips, not answering the question. “The holo from my parents,” Rey says instead. “Did you bring it?”

Paige nods. She produces a small grey sphere, hits a button, and a small, blue-grey holo image jumps into life. It’s Rey’s mother, looking right into the holocam. Right at her.

“Breha, baby,” Leia says, using Rey’s birth name. “We can’t wait to see you. Fulcrum said she needed proof that she was working with us, and she is. You can trust her. She’ll bring you home safely. She’ll bring you home to us.”

A man - Rey’s father, she quickly realizes - leans into the frame. Rey can only see half his face, but he’s wearing that half-grin she remembers from her childhood, and she recognizes him at once.

“We love you sweetheart,” Han says, voice a little gruff. “Get home safe, okay? We’ll be here waiting.”

Rey watches it loop three times. She thinks that she could watch it forever, but she knows that Kylo’s coming back soon, and she needs to be on his ship when he does.

“Turn it off,” Rey says suddenly. “I have to go.”

Paige’s eyes fly up. “Rey, what -”

“Thank you for trying to help me Paige, but I can’t come with you.”

“Rey,” Paige says. “I promised your mother that -”

“Tell my parents I love them,” Rey says, sucking in deep breaths to keep from crying. “Tell them I’ll do everything I can to make it home, but there's something else I have to do first. Will you tell them that?”

Paige shakes her head in denial. “Rey, we don’t have time to argue right now. Just...just come help me start the ship, okay? We’ll figure everything else out once we’re off world.”

Rey shakes her head and holds her ground.

“Shit,” Paige says. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”

Rey nods, and Paige’s shoulders slump. “Leia’s going to kill me,” Paige mutters. “So what are you going to do, if you’re not coming with me?”

Rey stands up straighter, her jaw proud and lifted. “I’m going to kill Kylo Ren.”

*

_Paige_

“Tell me everything,” Paige says, and listens while Rey explains in rapid fire.

Rey’s planning to accompany Kylo to an unknown location, in order to protect a boy she just met, while seriously injured. Oh, and on top of all that, Rey somehow intends to take down _Kylo Ren_ , while untrained and unarmed.

“Force, Rey,” Paige says. “That’s the worst plan I’ve ever heard. It’s not even a plan. It’s just a vendetta! And it’s going to get you killed!”

Rey glares, and it’s the same set look Paige sees in her own eyes every morning: grim resolve. They are both women who will do what must be done.

Paige sighs. She doesn’t want to leave Leia’s daughter alone to face Kylo Ren, but she has her own mission to focus on - a mission which requires absolute discretion, and which prevents her from meddling in Rey’s affairs any more than she already has.

Also, Paige is running out of time. Her chrono shows just six minutes til Starkiller’s shields open. The last of the cargo transport droids are about to disembark her ship, and it’s time to get prepared for flight.

“Take my cloak,” Paige says, quickly stripping off her own ivory colored robe. “It’s inlaid with protections against both heat and cold. Take these, too,” she pulls out two hairpins. “There’s enough poison in there to knock someone out for an hour or two. Just press the end here to deploy the needle.”  

Rey nods and takes them, hiding the hairpins in her three buns, and wrapping Paige’s beautiful ivory cloak around her shoulders.

“Thank you, Paige,” Rey says. “Really.”

“Of course,” Paige says. “Let’s see, what else can I give you...Oh!” she says, and now she smiles for the first time, “I have the necklaces you and Finn left at my place.”

Rey looks up, hope flickering in her eyes.

Paige fishes them from her pocket and presses both into Rey’s hand, but Rey gives one back. “This one’s for Finn,” Rey says. “Can you make sure he gets it?”

Paige nods. “I’ll give it to my cargo droids, and they’ll deliver it with the rest of Alia’s order.” She stops a nearby droid and places the necklace in a small compartment, along with instructions to deliver it to Finn.

Then Paige turns to back to Rey. “Shields are down - shit - in three minutes, but I have to ask, one last time: won’t you come with me?”

*

_Rey_

Rey slips her necklace on, and something settles into place as the stone finds its home against her skin. Even as she heads into the unknown, she’ll have this small piece of Finn with her. Of home.

Rey is just turning to leave when Paige asks her to stay, one last time.

Rey hesitates.

Rey’s memories of her family have been slowly returning, and she indulges them now. She closes her eyes and lets old images of her mother flash through her mind. Fierce eyes, a sharp temper, and an unending love for her children. Her father, with his easy laugh and laid-back ways.

For one moment, Rey remembers that they’re alive, and that she could see them again. It would be so easy, even now, to stay on Paige’s ship, instead of going with Kylo. To give up. To rest. To stop fighting, and just go home. Rey could be with her family, and she’d never have to come back to the First Order again. But she’d never see Finn again either, Rey realizes with a jolt. And it’s that thought that sets her in motion before she even realizes it. Her feet are carrying her out of Paige’s shuttle before she even consciously makes the decision.

Rey will abandon Finn to save his life, but she won’t abandon him to his death.

She boards Kylo Ren’s ship.

*

Minutes later, Kylo boards as well, followed by - to Rey’s surprise - Doctor Noble. The boarding ramp closes behind them, sealing Rey off from all hope of escape.

Kylo orders the doctor into a small room and Doctor Noble goes, not looking at Rey as she obeys the Knight of Ren.

Then Kylo makes for the cockpit, and the engines roar to life. Moments later they’re in atmo, and then hyperspace, and Rey’s trapped with a monster, and a doctor who might be friend or foe.

She feels utterly alone.

Then her hand goes to her necklace, and she thinks of Finn: of his smile, his kindness, his touch. Rey holds tight to her stone, hoping it will be enough to carry her through the long night ahead.

*

_Finn_

For long minutes Finn is trapped, motionless, by Alia’s Force hold. He watches Rey follow Kylo from the room, and he wants to stop her but he can’t. Because the teacher he once trusted is holding him hostage inside his own body.

In that moment, Finn hates Alia Ren.

Finn feels the exact moment that Rey leaves base, and it's like a tearing of his heart. Alia releases her Force hold on him the next minute and he turns away from her, without a word.

Finn sprints toward the training room, annoyed when he hears Alia keeping pace behind him.

“Stop following me,” he says, running faster.

Alia doesn’t slow down. “No.”

Finn stops to face her. “Alia, I don’t want -”

“Finn, my job isn’t to give you what you want. It’s to give you what you need. And I’m not leaving you alone when you’re this furious. If you need someone to take your anger out on, take it out on me.”

“Fine,” Finn says, voice hard. “I challenge you, then, Alia Ren. A duel to first blood.”

Alia sighs, as if she’s indulging a small child, but nods and keeps pace with Finn as he runs the rest of the way to the training room.

*

They fight for what feels like hours.

Finn and Alia are both wielding dual sabers, which means that four deadly weapons are flying through the air at any given moment.

Finn’s never felt this kind of anger before. He’s never felt the true urge to _maim_ someone else, to make them bleed for what they’ve taken from you. But Alia’s both faster and stronger, and he can’t get in a single hit.

Worse, she’s pulling her strikes and he knows it.

He and Alia are circling each other, panting hard, eyes locked. “Stop treating me like a child!” Finn yells.

“Then stop acting like one!” Alia calls back. “If you had just listened to me, and left Rey when I told you to, we wouldn’t be in this mess!”

Finn’s not yet ready to face what _that_ might mean, so he stills himself, sucking in a deep breath and reaching out to the Force. Then he charges again, feinting at just the right moment and finally getting a blow in - a shallow stab to Alia’s waist.

When Finn turns off his sabers and steps back, Alia’s giving him a look of grim pride. “Did you get it out of your system?” she asks dryly.

“The fact that you took away my voice?” Finn asks, his anger now boiling over. “That you kept me trapped and silent in my own body, while the woman I loved was taken away? That you stopped me from fighting for Rey, and now she's gone?” Finn's face goes blank and his voice takes on a hollow tone. “I think it will take more than a sparring match to make that happen.”

Alia’s face is wrecked, and for a moment Finn reconsiders his anger toward her. She looks genuinely sorry, and he can see that his words are hurting her. He’s never intentionally hurt someone else like this before.

But no. He's not done with his anger yet. Whatever comes next, he needs it, if he's going to survive.

“I'll be at training every day,” Finn says coolly, “and do everything you ask of me. Outside of that though, you can't make me talk to you. So I'm going to spend my free time as far away from you as I can get.”

Alia sighs, and she just looks tired now. “As you wish, Finn Ren. Meet me here to train at the usual time tomorrow. Other than that, you may go.”

Finn turns without a word, leaving a chilly wind in his wake.

* * *

In the common room, Finn finds a small droid, who lets out a string of unintelligible beeps, and holds out the gemstone necklace Rey had given him on Kanis. Finn puts the necklace on at once, sighing with relief when it settles around his neck. It’s pulsing with soft warmth, and is glowing a soft amber that reminds him of Rey.

The exhaustion of the day hits Finn all at once, and he makes for his room and strips quickly, falling into bed. Finn closes his eyes and sighs. He still doesn’t know if Rey was kidnapped, or if she went with Kylo of her own free will, and there’s nothing he can do about that tonight. He’s too tired to think, or plan, so instead he holds tight to the stone.

The fact that the stone is still glowing means, at least, that Rey is still alive. It means that Rey’s still herself, and that she’s thinking of him. The pulsing of the stone means that maybe, just maybe, there’s hope after all, even in the midst of the longest night.

Finn holds tight to this hope, and the stone, as he lets his body surrender to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Chapter Art](https://the-bi-writer.tumblr.com/post/166823177980/new-chap-of-no-redemption-is-up-title-the) | [No Redemption tumblr tag](https://the-bi-writer.tumblr.com/tagged/tinrh)
> 
> Tags have been updated, so check those out. In general they're what you would expect from a fic with Kylo Ren: R-rated violence, threats of violence, killing, mind games, manipulation, general douchiness. 
> 
> If you have any specific triggers or concerns, let me know, and I'll work around them as best I can (if you want to pm me instead of comment, I'm [the-bi-writer](https://the-bi-writer.tumblr.com/) on tumblr.)
> 
> That being said, there's a lot of great stuff coming up, and I'm excited to share. 
> 
> Feedback request: What did you think of this new story direction? What do you think will happen next?


	22. Escape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This picks up right after the last chapter. Rey has just boarded Kylo Ren's ship, and he left her alone in the cargo hold while he flew them away from Starkiller Base.
> 
> *
> 
> Reminder: from this point forward, mind the tags. This chapter contains Kylo Ren, so it also contains violence, abuse, manipulation, and general awfulness (because, Kylo Ren.)

Rey paces the short length of the cargo hold in Kylo Ren’s shuttle. They’ve just reached hyperspace, so she knows Kylo be back at any moment, and she wants to be ready with a plan.

She’s unarmed, except for the two hairpin tranquilizers from Paige. They’re each as long as a pinky finger, with their needles extending out almost that length again. So, theoretically, if Rey got close enough to Kylo, she could stab him and hoped the sedatives worked quickly.

But what would she do from there? Rey’s flown plenty of times before, but only in flight simulators. She somehow doubts she can fly something as new and sleek as Kylo Ren’s shuttle.

Still, it might be worth a shot. If she could take Kylo out and commandeer his shuttle, she could make it to the nearest planet and bolt. The doctor, who’s on the ship somewhere, might try to stop her, but Rey has a second hairpin if that happens.

Rey’s just beginning to wonder what kind of security measures Kylo’s cockpit might employ, and how she could get around them, when the cockpit door opens.

They stand for a moment in silence and stillness, facing each other across the small space. Then Kylo Ren breaks the silence and says, “Come with me.”

It’s a simple request, but Rey’s too stubborn to follow. If this monster wants her to do anything, he’s going to have to force her, kicking and screaming.

Kylo doesn’t move, but his modulated voice takes on a dangerous edge. “I don’t like to repeat myself. Come.”

When Rey still doesn’t move, Kylo does.

Kylo Ren moves with a silence and speed that shouldn’t have been possible. One minute he’s in front of Rey, and the next he’s behind her, his rough arms arms encircling her in a mockery of a hug. Before Rey can react, cold metal cuffs are placed around her wrists.

No, Rey realizes in horror, not just metal cuffs - _Force_ cuffs.

Rey feels the moment she's cut off from the Force, like all the breath has been sucked from her lungs. Like all the hope has been wrung from her heart.

 _In the past, Alia’s suppression charm had kept Rey from_ using _the Force, but she was still able to hear the song of the universe. Rey had still felt connected to other living things, even if she didn’t have the power to influence her surroundings. Back then, even with Alia’s collar around her neck, Rey still felt human, and whole._

Now, though, Rey gasps, doubling over in pain as she's cut off from the living Force.

“Move,” Kylo barks.

Kylo grips Rey’s arms with bruising strength and tries to herd her to another part of the ship, but Rey stumbles, literally knocked off her feet from the pain coursing through her body. She lands on her hands and knees, dry heaving from the shock of it all.

“Pathetic,” Kylo says, his modulated syllables clipped. “Get up.”

Rey tries and fails to stand, so Kylo picks her up instead. He takes her to a clean, sparse room and throws her roughly on a plain beige bed.

Rey sags onto the mattress gratefully, already feeling more and more exhausted with each passing minute. The Force cuffs are literally draining the life force from her body, and it's like slowly suffocating in a room full of air. It's worse than she could ever have imagined, and worse still is the knowledge that this is only the beginning of things to come.

“It doesn't have to be like this, you know.”

Rey looks up to see Kylo Ren sitting on a bunk next to her. He’s at her eye level, lanky elbows propped on knees as he leans toward her, cocking his head. “You and I. We don’t have to be enemies.”

Kylo’s words are surprisingly soft. And - Rey finds, as she reaches out with what little Force strength she has left - genuine.

“Did you expect us to be friends?” she asks with as much heat as she can muster. “That you could earn my loyalty by kidnapping me? This isn't a holonovel, _sir_ ,” she says with a sneer that would make Alia proud.

Kylo stands and Rey shrinks back against the wall, as far away from him as she can get.

Just a handful of minutes ago, Rey had marched onto Kylo’s shuttle with her head held high, determined to find a way to make him pay for her brother’s death. Now she’s cowering and immobile before the monster she hates.

Never in her life has she felt so powerless, or so alone. Still, Rey musters all the defiance she has left and says, “You won’t break me. Ever.”

“Oh little one,” Kylo says, with a sigh that sounds almost genuine. “I could break you in an instant. I'm just hoping I won't have to.”

Rey scowls, frightened both by the threat, and the mockery of caring in his tone.

“What do you want with me, any how? I'm just a scavenger. A nobody. I would have died on Jakku, if you'd just left me alone. So why didn’t you?”

Kylo paces, and begins to speak as if he’s giving a grand lecture to a rapt audience.

“You come of noble stock, little one,” he says. “Your grandfather was a great man, and your brother had the potential to be one too. I…” he pauses, and the room goes still. “I regret that I had to terminate him, but he never would have lived up to the legacy of the great Darth Vader. So I sought out you instead, the perfect apprentice, made just for me.”

Rey shivers at the casual intimacy in his tone, and seethes at the mention of her brother from this monster. But Kylo’s not done.

“We can rule the galaxy, you and I,” Kylo says, and there’s a manic energy in his voice now. He makes a tight, triumphant fist with one gloved hand. “We’ll be second only to the Supreme Leader. His two strongest knights, taking the galaxy for their own.”

There's a moment - longer than Rey wants to admit - where she imagines what it would be like to have the kind of power he’s describing. What would it feel like to answer to no one? To have powers over others? If she had the kind of power Kylo was offering, would she no longer have to be alone?

Then again, there _is_ a certain sort of power here, Rey realizes. She can play along with Kylo’s mad scheme, and if she's good enough, she just might convince him to trust her. If she can convince the head of the Knights of Ren that she’s on his side, she may yet have a hope of surviving all this.

Kylo's attention seems to be far away at the moment - he's not actively assaulting her mind, at least - so Rey takes a moment for a dangerous pleasure, one that - she hopes - will get her through the long months ahead.

Rey slips beneath the smooth stone floor under the swirling sand of her mind, into the locked fortress where she stores her most precious memories. She's pleasantly surprised to find it intact, even with her Force cuffs on. _Good_ , she thinks. _Thank the Force that Kylo can’t reach me here._

At any rate, Rey’s mind is safe for the moment, so she takes the chance to look around at all the memories she's stored in here; the look on Finn's face the first time she took him inside her, the way his eyes crinkle when he laughs, the way his body felt against hers, swaying together as they danced.

 _I'm doing this for you,_ Rey whispers to Finn’s memory inside her mind, hoping against hope that Finn might figure it out. That he’ll realize Rey did this all to save him; that she never, ever would have left him behind if she had any other choice.

Then she seals the memories back under stone and sand, and returns to the horror of the world around her, ready to play her new role.

Rey knows she can't seen too eager - Kylo Ren wouldn't be so easily fooled - but she has to let him believe that there's a chance that the two of them could stand together on top of the ruins of the universe. So she sits up, trying to look interested and amenable, instead of exhausted and infuriated.

She keeps her voice carefully neutral as she asks again, “Why me?”

“The First Order grew out of the ashes of the Empire, and I believe that something great, too, can grow from Vader’s legacy. You and I, together, can forge great things, in the fire that Vader left behind.”

“So, this really is all about Darth Vader?” Rey asks, intrigued and confused now that she's paying full attention. She wracks her brain for what little she'd overheard about Vader back at Nima Outpost. “I...I thought he lost in the end. Didn't he die, along with the old Emperor?”

The blow is so sudden Rey doesn't even see it coming. One minute she's speaking, and the next, a gloved hand is connecting with her jaw, the impact whipping her neck around.

Rey gasps and backs up, glaring daggers at the man who'd just struck her. Not since she’d learned to yield a bow staff had anyone touched her without her permission. Everyone on Nima knew they'd lose any hand they laid on her.

But now Rey’s here and weaponless, exhausted and small, and she’s cut off from the Force that had been her constant friend. She’s terrified, and that makes her furious.

“Get. Out,” Rey says, all pretense of corporation gone. When Kylo doesn't move at once she screams it again, standing on wobbling legs to advance upon him. Although really, what could she do to the great Kylo Ren?

To Rey’s absolute astonishment, Kylo backs away from her, his posture slumped infinitesimally, as if in shame or regret. Rey's too angry to ponder that might mean, but she tucks it away for later reflection.

“Leave,” she screams again and this time, he does. He turns away from her, keying in the lock code to keep her confined to quarters, and leaves her confused and gasping in the dark, cold bowels of his ship.

*****

Rey wakes to a sharp, cold pain in her chest. She reaches up on instinct, trying to ward off whatever’s causing it, even before she opens her eyes.

“Damn it, youngling. Hold still. I’m only trying to help.”

Rey opens her eyes and sees not Kylo Ren, but Doctor Noble, hovering above her with a thin blade in hand.

Rey tries to sit up, wanting to move away from the knife at her collarbone, but the motion makes her so dizzy she lies falls back into bed. Her body feels like it’s filled with lead, and her brain with cotton. Without her wits or strength, she can’t defend herself. It’s a terrifying thought.

“Please don’t,” Rey says instead, her words slurred. She hates that she’s been reduced to begging, but far more worried about losing her life. “Don’t let him hurt me.”

“I won’t,” the doctor says, low and sure. “Not if I can help it. But I need you to trust me for a few minutes. Can you do that?”

Rey’s too tired to think of another plan, or to ward off the doctor, so she just nods.

Distantly, and with great relief, Rey realizes the Force cuffs are gone. She’s still exhausted and dizzy, but she feels like she can breathe again. And once again, she feels hope.

“Good girl,” Doctor Nobel says. “Now lay still and let me work.”

Rey closes her eyes, quickly running through her memories of the doctor. Doctor Noble was always kind to her on Starkiller Base, even going so far as to give Rey droid parts to tinker with when Rey had been bored.

Doctor Noble’s not Rey’s first choice of ally, but at this point Rey will take any ally she can get. So she lays still as ordered, hoping that the doctor will keep her promise to help.

Sharp metal bites at Rey’s chest, just under her collarbone, and she hisses. The doctor grips Rey’s shoulder, her touch cool and grounding, while she makes two more incisions on Rey’s chest. Then she pulls out a tiny metal disc and hands it to Rey, before opening a bacta pad and pressing it over the small cut.

“Your ID chip,” Doctor Noble explains, nodding to the disc she’d just removed from Rey’s skin. “So that monster can’t track us when we escape.”

Rey’s eyes fly open at that. She’d assumed that the doctor was here to support Kylo in his twisted plans. But if the doctor’s taking out Rey’s tracking chip -

“You’re helping me?” Rey asks. “But why? And how did you know about the tracking chip?”

“Because I put it there,” Doctor Noble says, pursing her lips. “And now I’m taking it out. I don’t work for Kylo Ren anymore.”

Rey thinks that maybe she should ask something else, but she doesn’t have the energy. Instead, she sits up with the doctor’s help, and then accepts the hydroflask she’s handed. The liquid inside is sweet, and Rey downs it in a single gulp. She starts feeling better at once.

The doctor eyes her. “Can you walk?” she asks. “Because if you can, we need to move.”

*

Once Rey’s on her feet, she looks around properly for the first time. They’re still on Kylo Ren’s shuttle, but on the ground, now. Through the slitted viewports Rey can see dirt and trees.

Rey cuts her glance to the cockpit at once, searching for Kylo.

“He left a few minutes ago,” the doctor says grimly. “He told me to patch you up and keep you here, but I’m not in the mood for following orders. I’m not letting that monster hurt you again, Rey. Not if I can help it.”

There’s something strange in Doctor Noble’s tone, a surge of determination that Rey’s never heard from her before. Something like rebellion.

For the first time since Rey decided to go with Kylo Ren, Rey lets herself smile. No matter happens next, she has a genuine ally at her side.

*

The doctor leads Rey to a small cargo hold and presses a well-hidden button. The boarding ramp lowers at once. The doctor hits another near invisible button and a hidden panel opens next to Rey, revealing a small speeder.

“How did you know those controls were there?” Rey asks keenly, studying the doctor.

Doctor Noble looks grim. “Let’s just say I’ve been working for the Order for a very long time, and this ship used to belong to someone else.” She shakes her head, as if shaking off old memories. “Come on,” she says to Rey. “Can you ride?”

Rey nods and climbs on the speeder behind the doctor. She tries not to be sick as the speeder lurches forward, carrying them quickly away from Kylo’s ship.

Doctor Noble steers them straight for a small forest - the closest cover they can find, and Rey holds on tight as the doctor weaves expertly through the trees.

“Doctor Noble, where are we?” Rey calls, yelling loudly to be heard over the wind.

“The planet Ottega, I think,” the doctor calls back. “And call me Rhyssa.”

“Okay, Rhyssa. What’s your plan?”

“To find an unguarded ship, or a friendly face,” Rhyssa yells back. “And then to get as far away from Kylo Ren as we can. Sound good?”

Rey’s response is cut short when the doctor takes a hard bank to avoid a huge sequoia tree. So instead of responding, Rey settles for holding on tight, and letting herself think, just for a moment, of Finn.

 _Could I really get away, even now?_ Rey wonders. _Is there someone on this planet who would help us get a ship? And if so, could I get a message to Finn and Alia?_

The thought fills Rey with warm hope, and moments later she realizes the warmth is physical - her Force stone is pulsing against her neck. _Finn’s thinking of me too_ , she realizes, and the thought fills her with enough strength to face whatever might be coming next.

*

They come to a skidding stop in front of the largest wall Rey has ever seen. It’s as tall as the forest overhead, and stretches as far as the eye can see in both directions.

Rey and Rhyssa either have to find a way through the wall, or they have to turn back to face the wrath of Kylo Ren.

Which is to say, they have to find a way though.

Rey sees only a single opening - an enormous gate 30 feet away, guarded by ten aliens with wicked looking spears.

“Those don’t look like friendly faces,” Rey murmurs to the doctor. “Any ideas?”

“Only a bad one,” Rhyssa mutters. “How good of an actor are you?”

“Good liar, bad actor,“ Rey says, hoping the doctor’s plan doesn’t rely on her acting abilities. “What are you thinking?”

Before the doctor can respond, one of the guards notices them.

“You two!” the guard shouts in basic. “Approach and identify yourselves.”

“This planet isn’t friendly to the First Order,” Rhyssa whispers quickly to Rey as they walk slowly toward the guard. “So don’t tell them who we really are. If we pose as refugees, trying to escape, they may just help us out.”

“We _are_ refugees, trying to escape,” Rey says.

“Good point. Your injuries might be an asset as well. The Ottegan are a deeply communal people. If we can play on their sympathy, they just might be willing to help. We just have to find the right buttons to push.”

Rey nods, sets her jaw, and moves toward the strange guard.

*

Several guards turn toward them as they approach, spears raised.

Sucking in a breath, Rey does her best to enact Doctor Noble’s plan. She steps forward and clutches the doctor’s arm, purposefully stumbling and moaning in pain.

“Halt,” the tallest guard says, stepping forward to meet them. “Identify yourselves and state your business.”

Rey lets herself land on her knees in the dirt, trying to sell the bit. She’s filthy and injured, still woozy from yesterday’s fight, so it’s not hard.

“We’re hurt,” Rey says, the desperation in her voice real, “And we need help to get off world. We’re here to plead sanctuary.”

The guard gives her an unimpressed stare, and doesn’t move. “Identify yourselves and state your business,” he repeats in a monotone.

Rey looks to the doctor for help. Rey’s fairly certain that she can’t give _her_ real identity, being a famously lost child, and she’s guessing the doctor, as a known member of the First Order, won’t garner much sympathy either if she reveals her true name.

Thankfully, the doctor steps even with Rey and places a hand on Rey’s shoulder.

“Please,” Rhyssa echoes. “My daughter’s only a child. She was kidnapped and abused, and now we’re both running away from her abductor. And... “ the doctor’s voice wavers with convincing emotion. “And she’s pregnant.”

Rey’s eyes snap up at the clever lie, and she understands at once: a pregnant refugee and her mother will be hard to turn away. Rey plays along with this, too, gripping her stomach and moaning in pain.

It helps that Rey’s actually _in_ pain, and that the lightsaber gash on her abdomen, black and sickly, can clearly be seen through her torn shirt.

“Please,” Rey says, hoping she call sell the lie. “For my child.”

The guard’s face softens, and he lowers his spear. He says something to the others in a language Rey doesn’t know, and the other guards move out of the way, lowering their weapons as well.

“Come with me,” the guard says. “I have a friend who can help.”

He offers a scaly peach hand to Rey and she takes it, letting him and the doctor help her to her feet. The world spins as she stands but Rey shakes off the dizziness, focusing instead on hands holding her up.

The guard introduces himself as Terrant Cah, head of Ottega City Security Force, and leads them through the enormous gate, into a surprisingly verdant garden space. Colorful stone paths wind through grass and trees, and Rey sees Ottegan younglings, mixed with younglings few other species, laughing and chasing each other around the trees.

Beyond that, Rey looks up to see a sprawling, sleek glass building, and far to the left, a stone building that could be a church, or a monastery.

“Where are we?” Rey asks, mouth open in awe. “And why do you need such enormous walls?”

Rhyssa elbows Rey. “Don’t be rude,” she hisses, but Terrant Cah laughs. It’s a deep and genuine laugh, and Rey likes him at once.

“We are a peaceful people, but we share this planet with many other creatures,” Terrant Cah says. “And some of those creatures are very, very large, and breathe fire.”

Rey lets out a low whistle. “That explains the giant wall. Who lives inside it? All of you?”

The guard nods. “It is our city. All of our people are here. We are safe, that way. As you have seen, we keep a careful watch on our borders, and inside these walls we live long and peaceful lives.”

“That sounds lovely,” Rey murmurs, mostly to herself.

Terrant Cah leads them through the gardens and into an opulent office building. “My cousin is the minister of trade,” he explains. “She manages all transport to and from the city, and if there are any ships leaving soon, she may be able to help you off world.”

“Thank you,” Rey whispers. She’s smart enough to not get her hopes up just yet, but still, a part of her heart smiles.

“I - “ Terrant Cah hesitates, before turning his attention fully to Rey. “My wife is pregnant as well, and if she were in trouble, I would hope that someone would show her compassion. I am truly sorry for your situation, and I hope that my cousin may be of help.”

Rey’s struck by the sincerity in the man’s eyes. She feels suddenly guilty for the lie that got them this far, but thanks the guard nonetheless. He nods and waits, silent, until an official looking woman shows up. Terrant Cah talks to her, and then the woman nods, motioning for Rey and Rhyssa to follow her.

“She says she will help you,” Terrant Cah translates. “I must go back to my post, but you’re in good hands.”

“Thank you again,” Rey says, before nodding goodbye to the guard, and following the new woman down the hall.

The woman introduces herself as La’una Maru, Ottegan City Minister of Trade. She leads them to spacious office and sits behind a glass desk, studying them while rubbing her hands together. “I hear you need a ship off world?” she says, addressing Rey.

Rey nods.

“Who is this with you?” the minister asks, motioning to Doctor Noble. “My cousin is more trusting than I am, and I don’t buy your story.”

Rey gulps and glances to Doctor Noble. The doctor looks more composed than Rey, but just barely.

“I’m her doctor,” Rhyssa answers the minister. “This young woman is a fugitive from the First Order, and I’m here to see her to safety, and to save my own life as well, if possible.”

“You’re straightforward,” the minister says. “I like that. Do you have money?”

“I do,” the doctor says. “Name your price.”

As Rhyssa and the minister begin negotiations for a ship, Rey sits down, exhausted. Now that the immediate adrenaline of escape has faded, everything in her _aches._ She wants to lay down and sleep for days, but she knows that she can’t. Not when she’s so close to freedom.

 _Just a little bit longer,_ Rey tells herself. _Just stay awake a little bit longer, and then you’ll be free. You’ll be on a ship out of here, and you can contact Finn. You’ll survive, and be with Finn, and you’ll be free._

Minutes later, the doctor rouses Rey with gentle hands. “It’s time to go, youngling, before Kylo comes back to his ship and realizes we’ve gone.”

Rey stands and follows the doctor in a daze. They make their way outside, to where an ancient freighter weights.

The boarding ramp lowers to greet them, Rey’s heart fills with hope at the sight. _Maybe it will be alright,_ she thinks. _Maybe we’ll make it out after all._

Then Rey hears blaster fire behind her, along with sizzle of a lightsaber, and she knows that she was very, very wrong.

Rey looks back to see Kylo Ren far behind them, slicing through bodies, three at a time, and stalking toward them with terrifying speed. Rey freezes in fear, but the doctor grabs her in firm hands and lead her up the ramp.

“This is not the time to give up,” Doctor Nobel says firmly. “This is the time to press forward.”

“Right,” Rey says, bringing herself back into the present. “We can still make it.”

“Good girl,” the doctor says. “Now let’s get to work.”

Rey’s brain finally kicks into gear, she takes stock of her surroundings. They’re in a TL-1800 freighter, a common cargo ship that Rey’d flown often in her flight simulators back on Jakku. “Oh thank the stars,” Rey says. “I know how to fly this thing.”

She pulls the lever to close the boarding ramp, just as Kylo’s closing in.

“Where’s the crew?” Rey calls out into the echoing body of the ship. “Is there a pilot? Anyone?”

A young Togruta boy comes rushing in from the cockpit. “No pilot yet, miss,” he says. “My dad’s not due for another few minutes. What’s all that noise out there?”

 _Shit,_ Rey thinks. _We’re on our own._

“Nevermind that,” Rey says to the boy. “Can you help me fly the ship?”

The boy nods, and together they race to the cockpit. The boy flips the ignition sequence, lightning fast, and Rey starts priming the engines, hoping against hope that she ship will flight ready before Kylo Ren finds a way inside.

Doctor Noble enters the cockpit a moment later and sits down beside Rey, strapping in at once.

“We can do this,” the doctor says, a little breathless, and Rey nods, adrenaline flooding her veins once more.

The ignition light on the control panel blinks, turning orange, and then yellow, and then -

“Green for go!” Rey calls out joyfully. She grips the controls and guides the ship up slowly, already priming the hyperdrive. _If we can just make it to atmo, we’ll be able to jump to hyperspace_ , Rey thinks with glee. _And then we’ll be free._

Then, all at once, the ship freezes in place, and the controls are ripped from Rey’s hands. Rey fights back, frustrated, and then, as her stomach hits her throat and they fall from the sky - horribly certain.

The little boy screams as they freefall, the ship no longer obeying any of Rey’s commands.

As they descend, they begin to slow, until they land, almost gently, on solid ground.

The boarding ramp opens of its own accord, to reveal Kylo Ren, completely untouched, standing in the middle of a massacre. Ottegan bodies are strewn all around, their yellow blood seeping into the once peaceful gardens they kept inside their guarded gates.

Dignitaries and soldiers alike lay slain; even Terrant Cah and La’una Maru are dead. Rey wretches at the sight, emptying the meager contents of her stomach onto the floor of ship. Then she stands to greet Kylo Ren, placing herself in front of Doctor Noble and the small Togruta boy.

Once again, Rey’s facing Kylo Ren unarmed, and she has no idea what her plan is. She only knows that she has the innate drive to protect, and she’s following that drive now.

The doctor, too stands, and together she and Rey block Kylo’s view of the child, who’s hiding under the cockpit consoles.

Kylo strolls into the cockpit leisurely, and his voice, when he speaks, is almost conversational.

“You made it farther than I thought you would,” Kylo says. “I’d hoped you’d lead me somewhere useful - this is a big planet to search on my own, after all - but you brought me straight to the government headquarters, which contained the very person I needed to interrogate, as it so happens.”

Kylo ambles over to Rey, who doesn’t move, even as he towers over her. “Thank you for being so utterly predictable,” he sneers, “and helping me get exactly what I wanted.”

Rey cuts a glance to Doctor Noble, sure she’s been betrayed by the doctor, but no. Rhyssa looks just as horrified as Rey does. If Rhyssa played a part in all of this, she didn’t do it knowingly.

Then Kylo’s words sink in and it dawns on Rey that Kylo’s not upset - he’s _happy_ . He’s talking like he’s proud of her, even. And Rey realizes, with horror, that this was Kylo’s plan all along. He _wanted_ her to escape, so that she might lead him to - well, whatever he was looking for.

“What were you looking for, my lord?” Rey asks hesitantly, mostly just to feel out how Kylo will treat her now, after this escape attempt. She’s already recovered from her brief affair with hope, and is calculating, yet again how to survive Kylo Ren.

Kylo raises a hand to Rey’s face, but stops short of striking. Instead, he hisses out, “You won’t speak to me again, Breha Rey, unless spoken to, especially after this pathetic attempt of yours.

“I might have been impressed, had you managed to pull it off, but now you’re worse off than you were before, having showed your utter lack of loyalty. You’ve also wasted what little strength you had left, in this pitiful betrayal of yours.”

Kylo steps back, pacing in the small space and studying her.

“I should lock you away for the rest of our journey, and make you heal like a common slave. You deserve to bear the brunt of your own foolishness. I’m feeling generous though, after all this killing. So I’ll let the good doctor treat you.”

Rey shivers, feeling more ill by the moment. Everything about Kylo Ren - his posture, his presence, the cadence of her voice - was so utterly _wrong_ that her very guts rebell. But Kylo’s not done.

“You,” Kylo says, shoving Rey out of the way and towering over Doctor Noble now. “I should kill you for this insolence, doctor, but my apprentice requires medical attention. It seems that you’ll survive another day.”

Doctor Noble gasps, and Rey feels a pang of sympathy, and a jolt of panic. Without Doctor Noble, Rey would be truly alone.

Rey feels suddenly dizzy again, and collapses back into the pilot’s chair. _What is wrong with me?_ she wonders, and is chilled to the bone when Kylo Ren repeats her words aloud.

“Doctor,” Kylo barks. “What’s wrong with her?”

“I - I don’t know,” the doctor says, shaking herself into action. She feels Rey’s pulse, then her forehead. Then the doctor swears and lifts Rey’s shirt, exposing the long, blackening stripe streaking horizontally over Rey’s abdomen. “This lightsaber wound is infected,” the doctor says evenly, standing to face Kylo Ren. “If you’ll allow it, I’ll treat her at once.”

“See to it once we’re back on my ship,” Kylo says.

Even as woozy as she is, Rey notices the tiniest catch in Kylo Ren’s voice. If she didn’t know better, she would think that he was actually concerned for her.

But no. Kylo jerks her to her feet with rough hands, and pulls her upright, hard, when she nearly stumbles to the ground. Then he hooks a long arm under her knee - not bothering to avoid her injured leg - and Rey yelps in pain as she’s swung up into his arms.

“You shouldn’t have taken her off the ship in this condition,” Kylo says sharply to the doctor. “She’s not well.”

The doctor lets out a little huff and says coolly, “You shouldn’t have kidnapped and put her in soul-sucking cuffs.”

The world’s still spinning, and Rey knows she’s moments away from losing consciousness. She also knows she’s in the arms of a monster, and there’s nothing she can do about it.

Before Rey surrenders completely to exhaustion, she allows herself a single breath to imagine that she’s in Finn’s arms instead, being carried to the bed they once shared, where he read to her when she was scared and alone. If Finn were here, his hands would be gentle and his voice would be kind. Rey would feel warm and safe, instead of frozen and scared.

Rey remembers Finn’s face then, and the way that he looks at her. She hopes, with all her strength, that she will survive her time with Kylo Ren, if only to see Finn’s again. If only to tell him she loves him, one last time.

In reality, Rey’s being carried by rough hands over a corpse-strewn field, by a man who imagines he can win her loyalty with threats and violence. Even as she’s being carried back to captivity, too tired to even put up a fight, Rey allows herself the rebellion of hope. Underneath the safe stone of protection in her mind, she lets herself think her most precious thought:

_I will always, always love Finn, and before this is over, I will kill Kylo Ren._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next, we'll see what Finn and Alia are up to back on Starkiller Base.
> 
> I'd love to hear what you think!


	23. Face Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On Starkiller Base, Finn and Alia face off about their differences. Afterwards, Finn gets to spend an evening pampering himself. (Some fighting, some fluff.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd by [Classic-Vision](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Classic_Vision/pseuds/Classic_Vision)

Finn wakes to a warmth in his chest. He reaches for his gemstone necklace, wrapping his fingers around the smooth stone, and smiles as he feels gentle warmth pulse through it. Then he reaches for the bed beside him, where Rey should be, and finds it abandoned, cold, and empty.

Finn sits up, horror hitting him all at once as he remembers the events of last night. Kylo Ren had come to claim Rey, and Rey had gone with him for reasons still unknown. Finn, meanwhile, had been stuck in his own body, trapped by the teacher he once trusted - Alia Ren.

He hadn’t even been able to say goodbye.

The enormity of Finn’s grief is too much to bear, so he focuses on his anger instead; his anger toward Alia Ren. He dresses faster than he has in his life - clipping his two borrowed sabers onto his weapons belt - and rushes out the door to find her, and demand she make things right.

It doesn’t take Finn long to find Alia; she’s sitting at the table in the common room kitchen, eating scrambled eggs and scrolling through a datapad.

Finn sits next to her and says without preamble, “Tell me what you know about Kylo Ren.”

Alia looks up. “Good morning to you too,” she says dryly. “I thought we weren’t talking? Last night you said -”

“I know what I said,” Finn interrupts crossly. “And I’m still angry. But I’m willing to put that aside to find Rey. So tell me what you know about Kylo Ren.”

Alia looks at him steadily. “I don’t take orders from you, Finn. Try again.”

Finn takes a deep breath, and tries again. “Last night you said that you and I have a lot in common, and that you’d help me take down Kylo Ren. Did you mean that?”  

“I did,” Alia says, and her mouth quirks. “And that was a good example of sneaking past the defenses of someone unwilling to work with you. Come train with me after breakfast, and I’ll tell you what I can. Until then, I have things to see to.”

It’s not the answer that Finn wants, but it’s clearly the only one he’s going to get. Alia goes back to her food and reading, and just like that, Finn’s been dismissed.

*

Alia and Finn’s lessons normally start with meditation. Normally, they take the time to open themselves to the Force, and to each other, before tackling the rest of the day.

Today, they begin with battle.

They’re fighting with bow staffs again, which means that Finn has an advantage he usually doesn’t - a bow staff isn’t Alia’s weapon of choice, which puts them on more even footing when it comes to sparring.

Alia’s in her usual dark grey leather armor, the lightweight kind Finn’s never seen her without. Her long black hair is braided away from her face in three thick braids, all joining at the back of her head into a single, thick rope of hair.

Finn’s wearing the new armor Cass made him. It’s the same style as Alia’s - lightweight and flexible - and it moves like a dream.

Finn moves through several slow warm up positions, and Alia considers him while she winds her long braid into a tight bun. Then she says, “For every hit you get in, I’ll answer a question. Let’s begin.”

Finn’s head clears of everything but this moment. In his mind’s eye he sees the Force moving in ocean-blue eddies around the room. As he takes his first step toward Alia and jabs low at her waist, he can see the current of energy carry him along.

When Alia blocks his blow and strikes fast, first at Finn’s torso and then at his knees, Finn sees both blows coming and blocks them easily.

“Don’t rely solely on the Force for your sight,” Alia says, dodging Finn’s next blow. “It’s a dangerous habit. Use your mundane senses too.”

“Noted,” Finn says, and bring his awareness back to the physical world once.

It takes a couple minutes, but Finn gets in a good hit - a sharp jab to Alia’s shoulder. She gives him a sharp grin and steps back, standing at ease.

“So, my apprentice. What do you want to know?”

“Where’s Rey?” Finn asks immediately.

“I don’t know,” Alia says evenly. “Next question.”

“That’s not an answer!” Finn protests.

Alia jogs to the side of the room for her water, and downs it in a single gulp before turning back to Finn. “It is an answer,” she says. “The longer answer to your question involves the three custom trackers Cass put on Kylo Ren’s shuttle last night, all of which he found and disabled within hours. It includes the hundred futile hunches I followed last night while you slept.

“It also includes the fact that I’ve known Kylo Ren for ten years, and he has a bad habit of disappearing into untraceable spaces for weeks at a time. Not even the Supreme Leader can find Kylo when he doesn’t want to be found. So yes, Finn Ren, ‘I don’t know’ is a fair answer.”

Finn huffs out a breath, conceding the point, and crouches back into fighting stance. He blocks two blows before getting in another of his own.

This time Alia doesn’t stop the fight, so Finn asks the question while circling her, studying her movements for another opening to strike.

“Would you kill Kylo Ren if you could?” Finn asks.

Alia strikes fast and hard as she answers at once. “Yes.”

Her blow hits Finn’s stomach and he steps back with an “Oof.” He’s thankful he’s wearing proper armor for once.

“My turn,” Alia says. “How long are you going to stay mad at me?”

“I don’t know,” Finn says flatly. “Next question.”

Alia glares, but then her face melts back into the intense, focused look she always gets during battle. “Would you kill for Rey?”

“Yes,” Finn says, putting his full weight into his next strike. It hits home in Alia’s side, and now she’s the one stepping back with a grunt. “I’d kill for Rey, without hesitation. Now it’s my turn. Would you kill for Snoke?”

Alia looks up so sharply she almost doesn’t block Finn’s next blow.

“I do kill for him,” Alia says, sounding genuinely surprised by the question. “I have for years. He calls me his ‘hand,’ and sends me out to enact his will.” Her next sentence is softer. “I thought you knew that, Finn.”

“I assumed as much,” Finn replies. “But you never told me until now.”

Even though Finn had suspected this fact - that Alia’s still an active assassin for the Supreme Leader - hearing it put so bluntly feel like another blow.

Alia appears to be still processing his reaction, and while she’s distracted, Finn gets in another hit.

“How are you and I are alike?” Finn asks, as his reward. “What did you mean when you said that, last night?”

“You and I are both children of war,” Alia answers, and she seems to be fully present once again. She blocks another blow and deals two back. “You and I were both taken from our homes, and raised as soldiers, instead of children.”

Finn swears, low and furious. “Who kidnapped you?” he asks, angry _for_ Alia now, instead of _at_ her.

Alia’s face turns to fury, and instead of answering, she advances on Finn with terrifying speed. She strikes seven times, hard and fast, until Finn’s backed into a corner and forced to yield.

“Alia, I yield!” Finn yelps, when she doesn’t seem to hear him the first time.

Alia steps back quickly and lowers her weapon, shaking her head as if shaking herself from a trance. “The Supreme Leader,” she says, voice hollow now. “The Supreme Leader... _chose_ me, and raised me as he saw fit. I - ” Alia stops, shakes her head. “It’s not a fond memory.”

For a second, a hundred emotions play across Alia’s features. Then she schools her face into a mask of haughty indifference once more. The transformation is instant, and a little eerie. She gives Finn a shallow bow, indicating the end of the sparring match, and Finn returns it.

Then they’re face to face, sweating and panting from their fight.

Finn briefly meets Alia’s eyes and then looks away. He feels sympathy for her, because of the way that she was raised, and he feels a new sense of solidarity with her as well. It doesn’t erase his anger, but he feels like he might be able to work toward trusting her, once again.

Still, there’s one last thing Finn needs to know: “Would you kill the Supreme Leader, if you could?”

“I can’t,” Alia says. “Not alone. He knows me too well, and I’ve been bound to him for too long.”

“Then why- ”

“ _I_ can’t kill him,” Alia repeats, “But I can teach _you_ how to do it. And you won’t be alone. I’m already recruiting old allies to fight by your side.”

“What?” Finn stares at her in blank shock. The only thing going through his mind is static as his brain refuses to process her words. _Him? Kill The Supreme Leader?_

While Finn’s brain is still processing these impossible words, Alia gasps and stumbles forward, her face twisted in sudden pain.

Finn catches her lightly and sets her upright, then scans the room for potential threats. When he doesn’t see any - they’re alone in a locked training room - he looks back to Alia, confused and uncertain.

Alia’s eyes are screwed shut and her head is tilted at an odd angle, as if she’s listening to something that Finn can’t hear. Then she groans in pain and doubles over, pressing balled fists into her temples, sucking in deep breaths of air.

Finn touches her back lightly. “Alia, are - are you alright?”

Alia shakes off his touch and straightens. When she opens her eyes, Finn steps back in surprise. They’re glowing a brilliant gold unlike any color Finn’s ever seen. Then they fade to their usual deep brown, as dark as Finn’s.

“What the -”

“The Supreme Leader,” Alia says, voice flat. “He wants to see me.”

“Oh,” Finn says, caught off guard. “Are you going to go?”

Alia sighs. “Until we come up with a better plan, I have to keep up with appearances. So yes, I’m going.”

Alia turns and strides from the room, Finn on her heels.

“I know this is terrible timing,” Alia says, beelining for the Knights quarters, “but I’ll tell you the everything as soon as I can. For now, though, I have to go. The Supreme Leader doesn’t like to be kept waiting.”

They enter the Knight’s quarters, and Alia begins gathering food and weapons for her trip. “I’ll be back tomorrow morning,” she says, a little out of breath. “In the meantime, this is the safest place for you on base. Promise me you’ll stay here? Promise me you’ll keep yourself safe?”

Finn’s caught off guard by the sincerity - and worry - in Alia’s eyes.

“I’ll wait here,” he says. “You too. Keep yourself safe, I mean.”

“Always do,” Alia says with a grim smile. And with that, she’s out the door, and Finn’s truly alone for the first time in his life.

*

Finn has always felt alone, but he’s rarely had the luxury of actually _being_ alone. He’s rarely had the luxury of time to himself, without orders or responsibilities. Now, Finn has an entire evening to himself, and he can’t wait.

The Knight’s wing is fairly large, with five bedrooms, a sitting room, a meditation room, and the large circular space that connects them all, under the glass dome that lets in the stars and the sky.

And all of it, for tonight at least, is _his._

Finn doesn’t even know where to start. But his stomach is rumbling and he’s still sweating from the fight, so he makes himself a quick meal and then takes the longest shower of his life, relishing in the feel of the water running over his skin.

When he gets out, Finn reaches for his tunic and armor to redress, only to realize that for the first time in his life, he doesn’t _have_ to. Finn doesn’t have to wear armor, or even _clothes_ if he doesn’t want to. So he doesn’t.

Finn puts on fresh underwear but nothing else, and relishes the feel of the cool air on his bare skin. He ambles back out to the main space - a large circular room with a fireplace, a small kitchen, and several cozy places to sit  - and immediately spots the crates Cass delivered yesterday, off to one side of the room.

There are eight crates at least, and Finn starts opening them one by one, enjoying the feeling of freedom that comes from freely following his curiosity, for once.

The first few crates are full of clothes that clearly were meant for Rey. Finn takes a moment to let the sadness of her absence wash over him. He lets himself feel how deeply he misses her, then he sets the feeling aside and opens the next box.

The next three boxes are all weapons, carefully packaged. Finn’s fingers itch to try them out, but more than anything, he wants to read.

Alia had mentioned the day before that she’d ordered him a library’s worth of books, on every subject she could think of. In Finn’s whole life, he’s never been allowed to read _anything_ besides prescribed First Order textbooks, and he can’t keep his thoughts away from that prospect. So he presses on.

The next set of crates is his. He sifts through armor, formalwear, and brand new robes until he finds an entire _crate_ full of datapads. Once again, Finn lets out a whoop of glee. He grabs as many datapads as he can carry, and retreats to curl up and read by the fire.

*

Alia returns the next morning to find Finn at the kitchen table, surrounded by piles of datapads and empty cups of caf. He’s wearing a beautiful blue tunic, embroidered with gold vines at the sleeves, and when he looks up at Alia, his eyes both exhausted and ecstatic.

“Were you up all night?” Alia asks, surveying the contents of the table. From the looks of it, Finn’s been reading everything from Sith and Jedi philosophies, to medicine, to galactic history.

“I was,” Finn says. “Do you know anything about the Devastation of Parnassos? I can’t find much, but it seems relevant to the initial founding of the First Order, and I’m curious about the connection there. Do you think it influenced the way that Starkiller Base was designed?”

Alia laughs. “It’s a little early for history lessons, Finn, but I’ll see what I can do.” She joins Finn at the table and leans over to read the paragraph he’s pointing at.

She’s beyond relieved when Finn doesn’t flinch away at her nearness. Alia knows it will take time to regain Finn’s trust, but the fact that he’s asking her questions with that open, curious look feels like a start.

Alia reads the paragraph several times over before giving up with a groan.

“I hate to admit this, Finn, but history isn’t my strong suit. As you can imagine, I didn’t exactly have the most...accurate education growing up under Snoke. So unfortunately, no, I don’t know anything about Parnassos.”

When Finn’s face falls, Alia answers quickly, “I can find you someone who does, though. Just give me a minute.”

Finn nods and goes back to his reading, humming to himself as he does.

Alia smiles at the sight. She’s just survived a long, harrowing night at the mercy of the Supreme Leader, and she’s weary in her bones and soul. But now she’s with Finn, and the hope in his eyes makes her feel like maybe, in some small way, she might be able to start anew.

Alia pushes those thoughts to the side and deposits her travel bag in her quarters, then returns to the kitchen with a glowing holo screen. She searches through it quickly - it’s her own private data collection, not connected to the heavily censored First Order databases - and pulls up a list of her academic contacts, motioning for Finn to join her.

“These are people who owe me favors,” Alia explains to Finn. “They’re all well known professors, but let’s see…” she filters the results. “These three are all experts in galactic history, including one who’s studied the rise and fall of the Empire and First Order. Take your pick.”

Alia pulls up three portraits, along with a short bio on each professor, and steps back to yawn and stretch, working out the kinks in her neck.

Finn studies the projected screen for a moment, reading over each description, until he says, very quietly, “Come look at this woman’s eyes.”

Alia perks up and strides to Finn’s side, curious. She instantly sees what he’s talking about.

“She looks just like you,” Alia says quietly. And she does. The woman on the holoscreen is Professor Tana Kace, according to her bio. She’s smiling at the camera, her full lips curved into a genuine grin, and there’s something of Finn’s curiosity and openness in that look. Something of Finn’s quick intellect and wit, and his constant need to know _more._

Their physical features are strikingly similar too, but it’s that inquisitive look in the Professor’s eyes that stands out the most. It’s the same look that drew Alia to Finn, the first time they met.

“Where is she?” Alia asks at once, a plan quickly forming in her mind.

“The University of Coruscant,” Finn says, scanning the screen. “No, wait, she’s retired now.” Finn flips through another screen, scanning quickly. “It says she taught on Coruscant for two decades, but she retired five years ago. Now she’s on…” Finn flips through another screen, and Alia can see his fingers shaking with excitement. “The planet Artorias. Alia, she’s on Artorias.”

Finn and Alia stand side by side for a long moment, the air around them dancing with Finn’s excitement and hope. Finally, Finn asks cautiously, “Do you think she could - do you think she knows my family?”

“I think she likely _is_ your family,” Alia says, speaking Finn’s wildest hopes out loud. “But there’s only one way to find out. Shall we take a trip to Artorias, my apprentice?”

Before Alia even finishes her sentence, Finn’s sprinting away to pack his things.


	24. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn and Alia visit Artorias, to meet with a history professor who bears an uncanny resemblance to Finn. 
> 
> Rey and Kylo travel to a much more sinister location.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to [conn8d](http://archiveofourown.org/users/conn8d/pseuds/conn8d) and [classic-vision](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Classic_Vision/pseuds/Classic_Vision) for the beta!

“For kriff’s sake, Finn, stop pacing!”

Finn and Alia are on route to the planet Artorias, to meet with a history professor who bears an uncanny resemblance to Finn.

They’re dressed in plain clothes and are traveling in an unmarked ship because, as Alia said, “No one wants a visit from the Knights of Ren. We rarely bring good news, and there’s no point in giving the poor woman a heart attack. We’ll go undercover, instead.”

So Finn and Alia had stowed their Knight’s robes and dressed in what Finn assumes university students wear - pleated slacks, white shirts, and midnight blue neckties. They’d forged student IDs, hidden their saber hilts under long coats, and borrowed a passenger ship from Cass.

Now they look, Finn assumes, like any two people on the street.

“Finn, sit down!”

Finn stops mid stride and gives Alia a half-hearted glare.

Alia’s sitting at a small table in their borrowed ship, flipping through several holoscreens. Her voice is gentler when she says, “Come look at this. We need to have our facts straight when we meet the professor.”

Alia pulls up the official data sheet on Artorias, projecting it into the air above the table and Finn, at last, sits down. He takes a deep breath, and reads the entry:

_Planet - Artorias_

_Political Status - Neutral_

_Population - 4.5 billion_

_Royal Family - the Elder House Galfridian._

_Living members include King Caled and Queen Cara Galfridian, Prince Daniel Galfridian, and Princess Tana Galfridian Kace._

“Interesting,” Alia says. “This professor we’re about to meet is a princess as well. If you turn out to be royalty, will you make me a dutchess? I’ve always wanted a pretentious title like that.”

“You mean Lady Ren isn’t pretentious enough?” Finn says with a sly smirk.

There’s a heart stopping moment when Alia looks offended, and Finn’s afraid he’s accidentally just ended his own life.

Then Alia lets out a laugh, and keeps laughing until she’s coughing, and leaning over to place her hands on her knees. When Finn looks to her for explanation, she just says, “It’s been a long time since someone trusted me enough to make fun of me. I’ve missed it.”

“Oh,” Finn says, bemused, but glad he didn’t accidentally bring down the fires of Alia’s wrath.

“In all seriousness though,” Alia says, “don’t ever be afraid of me, Finn. Or for me. I can take care of myself, and as long as you're loyal to me, I’ll take care of you."

“Thanks,” Finn says, unsure how to handle Alia's being  _nice_ for once.

“At any rate,” Alia says, turning her attention back to the board. “Dutchess Ren has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”

Finn smiles and plays along. “Alright, alright. If I turn out to be long lost royalty, I’ll make you a duchess.”

Alia nods magnanimously.

A chime from the cockpit tells them they’re about to land, and they stride to the cockpit as one. Alia inputs the landing codes and Finn straps in, taking a deep breath. Then, they’re gently descending toward Artorias, the planet that may once have been Finn’s home.

*

“For kriff’s sake Rey, stop pacing!”

Across the galaxy, Doctor Noble and Rey are locked in a small room on Kylo Ren’s shuttle.

Rey stops, and lets out a long sigh. “How it is taking this long?” she asks. “We’ve been in hyperspace for almost a day. Where could we _possibly_ be going that’s this far away?”

“I don’t know,” Doctor Noble says, voice tight. “But I do know that you’re giving me a headache. Come sit with me and we’ll find something to take our minds off of our situation.”

“You mean that we’re being held hostage by one of the most feared men in the galaxy, that we have no idea where we’re going, and we have no way to communicate to anyone who might be able to help?”

The doctor sits up, primly. “Yes, that.” She sighs. “Rey, I’ve lived long enough to know that most situations aren’t impossible, no matter how bad they seem. So the best thing we can do is keep our heads, and find a way through this.”

Rey grits her teeth, allowing her fear and anger wash over her in full. As she does, the furnishings in the room begin to shake. Then Rey remembers that they’re in space, and that a Force explosion would likely kill all of them.

Rey takes a deep breath and calms herself, then sits next to the doctor. “Alright,” she says. “What do we do?”

“First,” the doctor says, “I’m going to show you how to treat a lightsaber wound, so that you can change your own bacta patches from now on.” She motions to Rey’s stomach, where a long white bandage covers an infected lightsaber scar.

“Second, we’re going to take stock of our resources, and make a plan.” The doctor opens what looks like a toolkit, and begins neatly laying out medical supplies and mechanical tools on the bed. “Third, you’re going to kill Kylo Ren.”

Rey’s eyebrows shoot to her hairline and she looks quickly around the cabin, scanning for any recording equipment. When she doesn’t see any, she smiles for the first time in days and says, “I’m in.”  

*

On Artorias, Finn and Alia land on a small floating disk, hundreds of meters in the sky.

It’s surrounded by open air on all sides, a single disk floating hundreds of meters above the valley below. Nearby, across a soaring glass skybridge lies the palace, but for the moment, Finn and Alia are alone.

From this high up, Finn can see for miles, and he breathes in fresh air as he takes in the view.

Far below them, there’s a deep blue lake, a sprawling city, and beautiful green hills surrounding it all. And then there’s the palace, across the long bridge. It’s modest but lovely, with soaring white walls and swirling green and golden accents.  

As Finn takes it all in - the waterfalls below the palace, the rolling hills, and the open sky above - the Force begins to sing to him. It’s a lovely melody with a single word, over and over: _Home. Home. Home._

In that moment, Finn knows in his soul that this is where he was born, that this is where he belongs.

Alia looks at Finn funny, so he opens their bond wider to let her hear what the Force is telling him - _This is where you belong. Where your family is. Where you were always meant to be._

“Am I crazy?” Finn whispers. “Is this too good to be true?”

“You’re not crazy,” Alia murmurs. “But something’s not right here. On this planet, I mean. I just can’t figure out what.”

Alia scans the horizon, looking for signs of danger, but Finn’s distracted when he hears something else, both with his physical ears, and through the Force: shouts of joy.

Two small children are running toward them from the palace, chasing each other down the long skybridge. As Finn listens to their laughter, a new word resonates throughout his entire body _:_ _Family. They are a part of your family._

Then a young woman emerges from the palace, chasing after the children. As the woman comes closer, she straightens up to a more regal posture, and the Force pours another word into Finn’s mind: _Sister._

Beside him, Alia’s looking at Finn keenly, so Finn opens his mind to her again, letting her feel what he’s sensing. Alia sucks in a sharp breath and nods, as if lending encouragement or support.

“Trust the Force,” Alia says, “and enjoy your reunion. I’ll keep an eye out for trouble.”

The young noblewoman is in front of them now. She smiles broadly and extends a hand of greeting to Alia. “I’m Kaye Galfridian,” she says, “Daughter of the crown. And you must be the students who’ve come to see my mother? She’s so looking forward to your visit.”

Finn studies the woman, now only a pace away from him, the Force sings, ever louder - _Sister. Family. Sister. Home._

Alia shakes Kaye’s hand and smiles politely. “Thank you for the gracious welcome, Princess.”

Kaye turns to Finn then, and as she looks at him properly for the first time, her expression changes into something like wonder. Finn can feel her reaching out to the Force, testing it and listening for a response.

Then, he hears her voice, inside his head. _Do you recognize me too?_  

 _I do,_ Finn sends back, throat dry. _The Force is telling me -_

“That we’re family,” Kaye says out loud, and there's awe in her voice. “Little brother, have you finally come home?”

Kaye steps forward and pulls Finn into a quick, tight hug.

Finn’s never been hugged, except by Rey, so it takes him a moment to wrap his arms around his sister for the first time. As he does, something inside him settles, as if a tiny, anxious part of himself is finally giving a sigh of relief.

“Where have you been all this time?” Kaye whispers when she steps back. “What happened to you?”

“I was taken by the First Order,” Finn says, “I escaped and, well. Now I’m here.”

“That’s awful,” Kaye says, her hand going to her mouth. “I’m so sorry. How did you - “

A chime sounds and Kaye swears, looking down to a dainty commlink around her wrist. “We have to go, you two. The guards will be back soon.”

“Guards?” Finn asks, but Kaye just shakes her head.

“I’ll explain when I can,” Kaye says quickly, “but for now we have to be careful. The royal family is being watched.”

*

Kaye calls to her children to her side, and they come running. Then Kaye says to Finn and Alia: “Let’s go quickly before the guards catch up. There’s someone who’s been waiting a very long time to see you again."

Finn and Alia follow Kaye across the skybridge, and into the royal palace. The palace hallways are empty - Finn doesn’t see any guards of any kind - but he keeps his eyes out, nonetheless. Beside him Alia is doing the same, scanning every approach for signs of possible danger.

“I don’t like this,” Alia murmurs to Finn, but the Force is singing to Finn again, and he gives himself over to the song.

They’ve stopped at a circular veranda where an older woman waits at a table, and Finn recognizes her at once. Professor Tana Galfridian Kace, the woman they’ve come all this way to see. The woman who might be his mother.

The professor stands up as they approach. “Welcome to Artorias,” she says with a warm smile. “It’s lovely to have students visiting again. I’m Professor Tana Kace, as you know, but you can call me Tana.”

Before Finn and Alia have a chance to respond, Kaye steps forward and grasps Tana’s hands, speaking rapidly in a foreign language, and gesturing to Finn as she speaks.

Then Kaye motions to Finn and he walks toward Tana, uncertain. As he nears, Tana’s face falters into something like confusion, and then cautious joy. She steps toward Finn and touches his face lightly. “Can it really be?” she whispers, her eyes wide. “Is this a dream?”

Finn’s not sure who’s she asking, but he hears the Force whispering the answer to him, so he speaks. “It’s me, mama. I came home.”

Tana pulls Finn into a hug and Finn wraps his arms around his mother for the first time. She’s shorter than him, so her head rests on his chest, and he feels her tears there. Finn’s face is wet too.

Tana’s murmuring something over and over, and Finn realizes, belatedly, that it’s a name. _His_ name.

“Samuel,” she’s saying. “Samuel, my beautiful son.”

When she pulls away, Finn says softly, “I go by Finn now, mama.”

“Of course,” she says, wiping her tears, and reaching up to wipe away his. “That’s a lovely name, son.”

She cups his cheek gently and Finn leans into her touch, suddenly starving for the family he never knew he had. His sister, still beside him, gathers him and Tana up in another hug, and Finn thinks he could be content in this moment forever.

Then he hears Alia’s voice, tense and urgent, inside his head.

 _Finn,_ Alia says, _The database did say this is a neutral planet, right? That it’s unaligned?_

It takes Finn a moment to reorient himself in the real world. Still hugging his long lost mother and sister, he casts his mind back to the database entry they’d read about Artorias:

Planet - Artorias

Political Status - Neutral

 _Yes, it’s neutral,_ Finn sends back warily. _Why do you ask?_

Alia sighs, and then sends - _Because I’m trying to figure out what First Order troops are doing on a supposedly neutral planet._

Finn’s eyes snap open. Still in his family’s embrace, he scans their surroundings and sees a block of stormtroopers in the far distance, marching toward them in two lines.

_What the -_

Finn’s mother and sister must have spotted them too, because they release their embrace at once, and step back from Finn.

“I should go,” Kaye says, “before they wonder why I’m lingering. It was wonderful to see you again, Finn, but you need to be careful while you’re here. Don’t let the guards know who you really are.”

Kaye squeezes Finn’s hand one last time, and then she’s off, her children trailing behind her.

Tana steps back from Finn too. She dries her tears, straightens up, and slips back into professional politeness.

“Welcome to Artorias,” Tana says as the stormtroopers enter earshot. “Shall we get started?”

Tana motions to a small table laid out with datapads and even a few real books. Finn’s heart leaps at the chance to learn something _real_ for a change, instead of the propaganda he’s been taught by the First Order his whole life.

Also, he’s posing as a student, and he needs to act the part. So he and Alia join Tana at the table, and smile.

“So tell me a little about yourselves,” Tana says, her voice still cheery and polite.

Alia answers - using information their cover stories - and she and Tana slide into small talk.

Finn, meanwhile, inspects their situation out of the corner of his eye. The stormtroopers, lead by a First Order officer, have stopped at the at the veranda’s entrance, and are silently watching over their little group.

 _But why?_ Finn wonders. _Are they here for us?_

 _No, my son,_ an unfamiliar voice says inside Finn’s head. _They’re here for me._

Finn’s eye snap up to meet his mother’s. Tana’s chatting cheerily away to Alia, still making small talk, but she meets Finn’s eye and gives him a firm nod. Then she speaks again, inside his head:

 _Our family fought with the Rebel Alliance against the Empire, years ago_ . _Now the Supreme Leader thinks we’re planning to move against him. So he’s keeping an eye on us._

 _Oh,_ Finn sends. _Well, are you? Planning to fight against Snoke?_

 _Of course,_ Finn’s mother says, her tone prim. _But we don’t want Snoke to_ know _that yet. So, for the time being, we’re playing along. And we’ll keep playing along until the time is right. But make no mistake son. When the time is right, we’re going to get those fascists off our planet forever._

Finn takes a deep breath as he tries to digest this information. His family fought in the Rebellion, and are planning on rising up against the First Order. His heart swells with pride for them, but he’s worried, too.

 _Are you okay here?_ Finn asks. _Are they holding you prisoner in the palace?_

Tana scoffs out loud, but continues speaking silently, through the Force. _They_ think _they’re holding us prisoner. But if we couldn’t handle a couple of bucketheads, we wouldn’t be Galfridians, now would we?_

Finn smiles a bit, at that. His family clearly takes pride in who they are, and he hopes he can be a part of that, someday. He feels a quiet joy, too, that they already share this connection in the Force.

Tana continues. _We have a plan in place, and we’re just waiting for the right time to move. For now though, we need to maintain appearances. Follow my lead, and don’t let them know who you really are._

Outloud, Tana says, with a pleasant smile, “Your friend here tells me that you have questions about the planet Parnassos?”

“I do,” Finn says, realizing he needs to focus, and play his role. Also, he _is_ genuinely curious about the history Tana’s taught for decades. It was academic curiosity that brought him here, after all.

Finn pulls out a datapad and scrolls through until he finds the section he was confused about. “This paragraph,” he says, handing it to Tana. “I know there’s been speculation, but what do you think really happened?”

“That’s a good question,” Tana says, her face brightening with a genuine smile. “Let me pull up some texts I think you might like. Excuse me for just one moment.”

Tana looks down at her datapad and begins typing rapidly. _I’m writing down everything I wish I could say to you right now,_ Tana says into Finn’s head. _I love you so much, and I’m so proud of you, and there’s so much you need to know._

Finn swallows hard, trying to keep from crying again. The First Order officer’s eyes are trained on their little group, and Finn guesses that crying might not be a normal thing for a visiting student to do.

Alia kicks him under the table, and Finn comes back to himself. Then he looks over at the troops who are keeping his family captive, and he has the sudden urge to stand up and run his lightsaber through them all.

“Easy,” Alia says, when Finn reaches for his saber on instinct. “Take it easy. If Artorias is occupied by the First Order, those guards are the least of your family’s problems. We could take them out now, sure. But it may only cause more trouble for your family in the long run.”

Alia grips Finn’s wrist hard. “We intervene only if, and _only_ if the professor asks us to,” she says firmly. “Got it?”

Finn knows that Alia’s right, of course. Alia’s a strategic expert, and Tana probably is is as well. Finn’s brain is telling him to wait, and trust, and to keep his cover intact. But there are armed men a stone’s throw away from his mother, and all he has the overwhelming urge to act. To protect.

“Finn,” Alia says, and her voice drops into the fierce sincerity that she doesn’t often use. “We won’t leave your family stranded. I promise. But we have to follow their lead, and play this smart.”

“Okay,” Finn says, blowing out a breath. He finally relaxes his hand away from his saber, and turns his attention fully to his mother once more. She’s still typing away at the data pad. When she finishes, she hands the data pad to Finn.

Finn takes the data pad and sees several articles she’s highlighted for him. He scans them quickly and asks her more questions, and they spend a pleasant few hours on the balcony, enjoying the view of the waterfall, and talking about galactic history.

Finn has always enjoyed learning, but now that he gets to learn _real_ history, from his brilliant mother no less, he loves it, and they talk for hours.

He could happily stay here for days, Finn thinks as they talk. For years. For a lifetime.

He is home.

*

On the other side of the galaxy, Rey dreams a memory of Finn.

_The memory-dream is a simple moment, nothing special. It’s of the two of them stretching after sparring with Alia, sharing sly glances and brief touches as they move through the motions of cooling down after a fight._

_In the memory, Finn pulls Rey to him and kisses her fiercely, and Rey gives herself over to the kiss. They’re both still sweating and panting from the fight, but Finn’s hands are firm on her waist, and his lips are soft on hers, and the moment is perfect._

_From somewhere outside, Alia yells, “No sex in the training room!” and Finn and Rey break apart, laughing. Then their eyes meet, and they tumble together toward Finn’s bed._

*

Rey wakes with a jolt when Kylo Ren’s ship lands.

Rey sits up, groggy. “Do you know where we are?” Rey whispers, to the doctor, but the doctor just shakes her head, lips pursed.

Rey reaches out to the Force for clues, and instantly recoils. Wherever they are, the Force here is a dissonant wail instead of a beautiful song. It’s like the sound of talons on metal, and the sound grates against Rey’s soul. She quickly closes her awareness again.

Then Kylo Ren opens the door and Rey jumps to her feet at once.

“Follow me,” Kylo says.

Rey wants to retort or disobey, but there’s literally nowhere to run at this point. So she follows Kylo down the ramp of his sleek black ship.

At the bottom of the ramp, Rey sees...nothing. Wherever they are, there’s _nothing_ here but fire and ash. They’re on a small circular landing pad, barely larger than his shuttle, and it’s the only land in sight, but for a thin black pathway that leads to a towering black castle.

On every side of them is an entire ocean of lava. It stretches as far as Rey can see, much like she’d always dreamed the real ocean would be.

 _What a sick joke,_ Rey thinks. _What a perversion. I spend my life hoping for an ocean, and this man, who seeks to win my loyalty, brings me lakes of fire instead._

“Walk,” Kylo says, and when Rey doesn’t obey, he takes her by the shoulders and shoves her toward the castle.

Rey shakes off his touch as if burned, and walks the rest of the way on her own.

She follows Kylo carefully down the narrow, precarious path, and the giant black castle looms larger with every step. When they reach the building Rey sees that the walls aren’t smooth, but rough, and seem to have chunks of glass coming out of them.

Then Kylo opens the grand, black doors with the wave of a hand, and as Rey steps into the dimly lit space, he says, “This is the glorious castle your grandfather built, on the very spot he became Darth Vader. Welcome home, Breha Rey.”

Rey laughs, and the sound is like her now - tired, hollow, in complete disbelief. She glares at Kylo’s mask - at the place where his face should be - and enunciates clearly as she says, “This place, with you, will _never_ be home. Do you hear me Kylo Ren? Never.”

Though Rey can’t see Kylo Ren’s face, she can feel him smirk.

“We’ll see,” he says, with a bone-chilling chuckle. “We’ll see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to check out the mother/son resemblance I had in mind while writing this, check out [this pic](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/86/68/8c/86688cb261b0ebe22d08e5cfc163760e--john-boyega-actor-john.jpg) of John and his mom.
> 
> The palace overlooking the waterfall was inspired by the Organa's palace on Alderaan. 
> 
> Thanks again for reading and commenting. It really does make my day.


	25. Weapons Don't Weep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alia's backstory (finally!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright! It's been awhile since the last update so here's a quick recap:
> 
> Rey left with Kylo Ren, because he threatened Finn's life. Alia and Finn don't know how to trace her.  
> Finn found his family. They're royalty and Force sensitive, and he just spent the day reuniting with his sister Kaye and his mother Tana, who's a history professor.  
> Also, TLJ sucks and isn't cannon for the sake of this fic. (This takes place before TFA, so.)  
> Also, many thanks to my awesome beta, [Classic Vision](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Classic_Vision/pseuds/Classic_Vision)!

Finn, Alia, and Tana spend the whole afternoon engaged in a lively debate, talking about everything form galactic history, to herbal medicine, to weaponry.

The entire time they’re under the watchful gaze of a First Order officer, and too soon, he approaches their table.

“Visiting hours are over,” the officer sneers. “I’ll show these two out.”

Alia and Finn stand up to leave, but Tana holds out a firm hand, and speaks in a low, soothing voice.

“These two students have been granted dispensation to stay,” Tana says calmly to the officer. “If you’ll check your datapad, I think you’ll see that the Supreme Leader has sent a message saying as much.”

Finn watches with interest as the officer’s eyes glaze over at the sound of Tana’s voice. The officer glances at his datapad - which Finn can clearly see is blank - and says, his voice a little dreamy, “Ah, yes, I see the message here. The Supreme Leader has granted them dispensation to stay.”

“Would you two like to stay the night as well?” Tana asks, turning to Finn.

Finn looks to Alia on instinct, and she nods, so he does too. Tana beams.

“These students will be staying the night as well,” Tana says to the First Order officer, in that same firm voice that draws you in to listen. “I trust that you’ll inform your fellow commanding officers of the change in plans?”

The officer, nods, his face still blank as he repeats in a monotone, “I’ll inform my fellow commanding officers of the change in plans.”

“Lovely,” Tana says, holding her hands out wide.

Finn smiles with joy and relief at the realization that he doesn’t have to leave his family. Not yet, at least. He might even be able to meet his father, or aunts and uncles and cousins, if he has any.

Just hours ago, Finn had been fighting to keep the tears from his eyes when he saw his mother for the first time. Now, he has to fight to keep a silly grin from spreading across his face. Tonight he’s having dinner with his long lost family, with his mentor by his side.

For the first time in his life, Finn is at peace.

Tana turns and beams at Finn and Alia. “Lovely. Now that that’s settled, do you prefer shared accomodations for your overnight stay, or separate?”

“Shared,” Alia says at once, before taking a physical step back, as if realizing that, for once, she’s not the one speaking for both of them. Tana had clearly been asking her son.

Finn thinks about it. He and Alia a bonded pair of warriors on an unfamiliar planet, so the obvious tactical choice is to share a room. That way, one of them can keep watch while the other sleeps.

But there’s something else happening in this moment, too: there’s the briefest flash of uncertainty on Alia’s face. Finn has the strange feeling this question is about something bigger than where he will sleep tonight - Alia’s asking for reassurance that they’re still on the same page. That they’re still a team, even after their recent fight.

Finn opens his mouth, and the answer comes easily. “We’ll stay together.”  

*

Finn and Alia are shown to a spacious suite that contains a sitting room, a ‘fresher, a bedroom, and a great deal of flowering, green-leaved plants. Finn’s immediately fascinated - he’s already planning to ask Alia for books on medicinal botany - and he walks around the room, inspecting each plant in turn.

“Eucka plants are good for meditation, you know,” Alia says, pointing to a small tree with yellow blossoms. Finn turns, looking at her doubtfully.

“No really,” Alia says with a laugh. “Let me show you.”

They have a bit of time before dinner, so Finn loosens his tie, kicks off his shoes, and joins Alia on the floor. They sit, cross legged and facing each other, and Alia explains how to reach out and sense the energy of each individual plant. He even figures out how to count the leaves and flower petals by feel alone, just through the Force.

Finn opens his eyes with a brilliant grin. “I can feel them, Alia. Every petal and every leaf.”

Alia Ren never fully smiles, but she does give Finn a quick grin for that. 

“Can you do the same thing with people?” Finn asks, mind already working. “Count their unique signatures through the Force, I mean?”

“You catch on quickly,” Alia says, again with that half grin. “Tell me how many troopers are standing outside our door.”

Finn concentrates until he can sense the individual Force signatures of the soldiers standing outside their door. He runs his awareness over each one - each a little different than the others - and then says out loud, “Five. There’s five troopers out there.”

"Good,” Alia says. “What about in this wing of the castle? How many people do you sense?”

Finn extends his awareness again, and it takes him longer this time, but after a few minutes he’s able to say, “Fifty three.”

Alia’s mouth quirks. “Right again. Now, tell me what the guards outside are thinking.”

Finn shakes his head. “I don’t know how.”

“It’s easy. You just have to …” Alia trails off and furrows her brow. “Actually, I don’t know how to explain it. Can I show you instead?”

Alia holds out a hand, palm up, and there's a pregnant pause when Finn hesitates, his fingers hovering over her palm, but not quite making contact.

They haven’t touched since their big fight, the night that Alia stopped Finn from defending Rey. The night that Finn had watched, frozen, as the woman he loved was taken away. All because Alia had kept him captive in his own body.  

Finn had been furious, and rightfully so. But in the few days since then, Alia’s been working to make it up to him. She's told him a bit about her backstory, and promised to tell him more. She bought him a whole library of books, because she knew that Finn craves knowledge like air. She helped him find his family again.

Finn decides to accept the olive branch Alia’s offering. He touches his fingertips lightly to her palm, and lets her show him, through the Force, how she skims people’s thoughts.

“Oh!” Finn says after a moment, opening his eyes with a smile. “It’s like sneaking under a fence, right? You just have to find their defences, and then circumvent them. Ideally without letting them knowing you’re there.”

Alia nods. “Exactly. Most people have better mental defenses than those bucketheads out there, but that’s a good start.”

Finn leans back, panting a little even though the effort was mental instead of physical. He scoots to the wall to lean back on the cool tile, and lets the sensation ground him.

Then he opens his eyes, realizing something that he’d nearly forgotten: “You promised to explain to me why you’re still working for Snoke. You said you’d tell me everything as soon as we have the chance. Well, we have the chance now, don’t we?”

Alia glances down at her chrono, and then sighs. “Unfortunately, yes. We still have time before dinner with your family.”

Alia stands and stretches. She paces a little as she talks.

“The first thing you need to know is that the Stormtrooper program isn't the only training program Snoke instituted. It was just the most successful. He had hundreds of other training programs, each with a different methodology. They were experiments, I think, to see which would yield the perfect soldiers. I grew up in one of them.”

Alia stops speaking, and comes to sit cross legged in front of Finn again. “If we’re going to dig into my sordid past, we might as well make a lesson out of it,” she says. “I’m going to hide important memories behind various mental defenses. If you can get past them, you get the story.”

Finn raises his eyebrows and sits up straighter at the challenge.

He closes his eyes just as Alia says, “Let’s begin.”

*

The first thing Finn encounters in Alia’s mind is a wall of brick and stone. It’s huge and solid, stretching in all directions as far as he can see.

Finn takes a moment to ponder the problem, and then the solution comes to him: he only needs to find a small crack or a single weakness to bring down this grand wall.

So Finn starts chipping away at Alia’s mental defenses, envisioning his mind as a pickaxe. He searches for a single spot of weakness until he finds one, then begins to remove boulders from the wall one by one until he can see through to the other side. 

He stills to watch a memory play out.

-

_In the memory, a child-sized Alia is alone in the yard of a military complex, wearing rusted out Mandalorian armor. Finn recognizes the armor immediately from the holos he’s seen of the old clones._

“You’re from Mandalore?” Finn asks out loud.

“Yes,” Alia says evenly. “Now pay attention. I don’t want to have to remember this twice.”

_Child-Alia has a crude sword, rusted like her armor, and she’s practicing with it, moving through forms and fighting an invisible opponent. She hears a noise and whips around to see four children, all larger than her and armed, advancing quickly toward her in a group._

_Alia’s tiny face briefly shows fear, and then resolve._ _She stands her ground as the older children attack. Even with only a battered sword, she strikes fast and true. She manages to knock one boy unconscious and dislocate another’s arm, leaving him writhing in pain on the ground. Then she fights the other two to a draw._

_In the memory, child-Alia feels a rush of pride as her enemies retreat and then - as the adrenaline wears off - a searing pain. She strips off her battered chest plate to see bruises blossoming across her abdomen, and she grits her teeth._

_“I don’t know how much longer I can keep going like this,” she thinks. “But I don’t know what else to do.”_

_-_

The memory ends and Finn’s pushed back from the stone wall as if blown back by a mighty gust of wind. Then, still inside Alia’s head, he takes stock of his surroundings again and realizes that he _is_ facing wind this time. An entire hurricane of it, that he has to get to the center to, if he wants to see another memory.

Finn watches the air and debris spin all around him until he’s memorized the rhythm of it, and then he jumps in, timing it just right so that his own mental rhythm is synced with the wind.

It works, and Finn can still feel the wind on his face as he slides into the next memory.

-

 _In the new memory, Alia’s still small, and still fighting. She’s in a simulation this time, not unlike the ones Finn used to train in when he was a young._ _Child-Alia’s eyes are blazing as she kills enemy after enemy in the simulation, destroying them all without batting an eye._

Finn remembers when things were still that simple for him, too.

_Memory Alia shoots the last holo-enemy and the simulation ends, revealing a derelict, dusty training room and - to Alia’s surprise - an old man in a dark robe, walking toward her with a cane._

_Alia raises her blaster fires on instinct, but nothing happens; it’s just a sim weapon, after all._

_The old man speaks, and there’s a gentle amusement in his voice. “I’m not a simulation, my dear, so those weapons won’t work on me. Besides, I have far better weapons at my disposal. And you could, too, if you want.”_

_Tiny Alia glares, but she’s curious too. “Who are you?”_

_“I’m an old man with no children to care for,” Snoke says, and he kneels down to Alia’s eye level. “And no one to pass my vast knowledge on to. I’ve been watching you, child, for months now, and I’d like to train you, if you’ll let me. You’ll be like the daughter that I never had.”_

_Little Alia looks around at the stark barracks she’s been living in as long as she can remember, at the hot, dusty training grounds that have held her captive for her whole life. Then she nods her assent._

_“Speak, Soldier,” Snoke says, standing taller now as he begins to cast off the mask of infirmity. “Your word is your bond, and the Force takes that literally.”_

_“I’ll join you,” tiny Alia says says, and then the memory dissolves into flame._

-

Finn wants to pull away, to get out of this hellish memory scape that he already knows the ending to, but morbid fascination spurs him on.

Alia’s mind surrounds Finn’s now, enveloping him in a bubble. Instead of a single wall to push through, Finn must now escape a barrier that surrounds him on all sides. He starts to panic at the feeling of being trapped, but Alia murmurs aloud, “Breathe, Finn. You’re stronger than your panic, and stronger than your past.”

Her words bolster him and Finn carries on, this time focusing on the problem in front of him. All at once, he knows how to make it through. He focuses his mind until it’s sharp as a scalpel, and after a few tries, he convinces the bubble to pop.

-

_A waterfall of images washes over Finn, overwhelming him in their intensity. He catches glimpses of child-sized Alia training under Snoke, carrying out his will in order to earn scraps of praise. Then she's a teenager, fighting her way through the ranks of Snoke's acolytes until she’s second in command only to Snoke, tearing stars off her robe with each step of the ladder she climbs._

_Suddenly the memories slow to a regular speed, and Finn_ _watches in horrified fascination as Snoke sends Alia - now an adult - to spy on the new Jedi order._

 _It’s nighttime in the new memory. Alia lurks outside an enormous, well lit temple, debating whether or not to go inside._ Would I be recognized?  _she wonders._  Could I pass myself off an an interested student? Could I circumvent their security measures instead, or would I be noticed and interrogated?

 _Memory-Alia is so caught up in her own thoughts that she doesn’t notice she has company until there’s a man right beside her, close enough to brush her arm._ _Alia on her feet at once, saber blazing just inches from the man’s throat. Strangely, he doesn’t flinch, as if he’s not afraid of her, or of death. Maybe he’s not._

 _“Who are you?” Ben Organa asks, his eyes bright and curious, despite the deadly weapon at his throat. “Why are you here?”_ _There’s a compelling sincerity about him, and Finn instantly understands why a much younger Alia lowers her blade and answers Ben's questions. Her eyes are exhausted as she says, “I’m a the Supreme Leader’s hand, and I don’t want to be.”_

_Memory-Alia hadn’t meant to say the words, but there they were, springing from the back of her mind to the front, and escaping her lips before she could stop them. She claps a hand to her mouth, eyes wide, but Ben only studies her curiously._

_“I’m a Jedi padawan,” Ben says at last, “and I don’t want to be either. Perhaps we can reach some sort of accord?”_

_As memory-Alia stares at a memory-Ben, Finn pulls himself from Alia’s mind, gasping for air._

_-_

It takes Finn a moment to remember where he is, but he uses Alia’s trick for grounding yourself in the moment - _what do you hear? what do you see? what can you touch?_ Finn reaches down for his sabers, running his hands over the cool metal and the etched inscriptions there, and the sensation helps ground him back into the here and now.

“What happened next?” Finn asks, once his breathing calms.

Alia sighs. “We sat in the shadows of the temple and talked all night. Ben was as fascinated by me as I was by him. We were the same age - I’d just turned 23 - and we both felt trapped by the men who raised us. Ben and I resonated with each other, in a way we never had with anyone else. For the first time in my life, I felt like I had a friend." 

Alia hunches her shoulders, as if the memory were a physical weight. "Ben and I began meeting up in secret, and we trained each other the secrets of both Jedi and Sith. Together, we became a fearsome pair. Together, we swore to kill the men who held our chains."

"Snoke and...Luke Skywalker?" Finn guesses. 

"Indeed," Alia drawls. "But we knew we couldn’t do it on our own, though. So together we founded the Knights of Ren. Slowly, in secret, we recruited adult Force users from all over the galaxy - those who had been overlooked by the Jedi and Sith - and we offered them the opportunity to fight for a cause. To fight so that no child would ever be stolen by Jedi or Sith again.

“It took us years to recruit and train the Knights. Ben was still training as a Jedi, and I was still under Snoke’s control. So we recruited the Knights carefully and quietly, making sure that Snoke and Skywalker never found out.”

Alia stops. Sighs.

“And then?” Finn prompts gently.

“And then Ben had to get caught up in that old obsession of his, looking for his dead sister. When we were 27, Ben began to believe the rumors that Snoke was all-knowing. He became convinced that his sister was still alive, and that Snoke could help him find her. Ben begged me to take him to Snoke. And Snoke, of course, was eager to meet the rising star of the new Jedi.

“I cared for Ben - we’d already developed a unique bond as both teacher and trainee to the other - and I wanted to see his obsession with his dead sister end. I wanted him to move on, so that he and I could be stronger together, and that we could return to the plan. So I took him to Snoke. And that’s when everything changed.”

“What happened?” Finn asks, entranced in spite of himself.

“Ben became Snoke’s disciple almost at once. He fell in love with Snoke's well of power, and forgot all about me and the deal we’d made. Then he did everything he could to quash every bit of good in him he had left, and he worked at it every day until he became the man you now know as Kylo Ren.”

Finn’s eyes snap to Alia’s, startled. “But you told Rey that -”

“That Ben Organa was dead,” Alia finishes. “And trust me, he is. But Kylo Ren now wears his face.”  

“Shit,” Finn says, because there’s nothing else to say. He thinks he should be angry, or shocked that Alia had withheld this information, but he’s already on emotional overload, so he sets it aside for later reflection, and refocuses on the story.

“What happened next?” he asks.

“We moved forward with the plan we’d been laying for five years. I kept my promise, and we attacked the New Jedi temple. Kylo abandoned me in return.

"By that point, Kylo was the Supreme Leader’s favorite son, and I the forgotten daughter. I didn't actually mind for the most part - it gave me more freedom than I’d ever had before, now that Snoke wasn’t watching my every move. I did mind, however, that Kylo kept delaying the rest of our plan - to kill Snoke and be free of him, once and for all.

“Kylo swore every day that he’d still help me overthrow Snoke, but that we had to wait until the time was right. _‘When I’ve found my crown jewel, that will be the time to act,’_ Kylo always used to say.”

Alia lets out a humorless laugh. “I never knew what he meant, then, but I get it now. It was Rey, always Rey. The entire time I thought we were building a future where children wouldn’t be hunted for their powers, and wouldn’t be made into weapons before they could walk. I never knew we were hunting a child, instead.”

Alia stops, and shakes herself, then takes a deep breath and continues. “Shortly after we destroyed the Jedi temple, we revealed the existence of the Knights to Snoke. Once he heard about their crucial role in the destruction the Jedi temple, Snoke swore them into his service at once...which was exactly what we wanted. Now we had allies who were in Snoke's inner circle, and we were in the perfect position to strike. It was a foolproof plan, years in the making. All we had left to do was strike. But we never went through with it." 

“Why not?” Finn asks.

“Because Kylo backed out at the last minute, every time. He’s never admitted this, but I think he’s addicted to Snoke’s power. A bond between master and apprentice can be a powerful tool for manipulation, and Snoke always uses his tools well.”

Alia stops, and shakes herself, then takes a deep breath and continues. “I’d begun to give up hope that I’d ever be free of Snoke, until about a year ago. Kylo came to me out of the blue and we began training together again. We reforged the bond that had been withering away over the years, and we felt like a team, once again. It was wonderful. Kylo told me that he’d been called back to the light, and that he, too, was done with Snoke at last. I was ecstatic, of course. I thought that at least I’d be free.

"We reconvened with the Knights and created the perfect plan. Then, just days before we were set to attack, Kylo disappeared, without warning or explanation. When he reappeared, it was with Rey. Kylo scattered the Knights of Ren, sending them on missions to separate corners of the galaxy. He sent me to Starkiller Base to watch over Rey, and disappeared again. Then I met you, and now, here we are.”

“Here we are,” Finn echoes, a little overwhelmed by all he’s just learned. Then a thought occurs to him: “That’s why you stopped me from fighting Kylo in the greenhouse, the night he came to claim Rey.”

“It is,” Alia says, and there’s sadness in her eyes. “Besides the fact that I’ve grown rather fond of you, and Kylo would have killed you on the spot, I needed to see if Kylo would make good on his word. He’d finally found Rey - the reason he’d been putting me off all along - and I needed to see what would happen next.”

“And what was your plan?” Finn snaps, the memory of Rey’s loss a sudden, swift punch to the gut. “That the four of us would all be _friends_?”

“Watch your tone,” Alia says cooly. “I’m not your enemy, Finn. And no, I didn’t expect us to be _friends_. But I did hope that we could join together under a shared goal, once again. “Kylo and I could have trained you and Rey side by side, and the four of us could have taken down the Supreme Leader. We could have rid the galaxy of that worm once and for all.”

“And now?” Finn asks.

Alia sighs. “Now I understand that Kylo was using me all along. He - “ Alia shudders. “That night in the greenhouse, once he had Rey, he snapped our bond in two, like it was nothing. Then he shut the loading ramp, and left.” Alia gives a little gasp and covers her mouth, as if even the memory of the broken bond is enough to knock the wind out of her.

“Force,” Finn says, because there’s nothing else to say.

Finn’s head hurts with all this new information. On one hand, he now understands both Alia and Kylo’s motivations more than he had before, which will be a boon in the days to come. On the other, he just learned that Rey is not only in the hands of a killer, but a killer who wears her dead brother’s face.

He stands up to pace the spacious room. “So what do we do? We can’t just leave Rey with that monster."

“Finn, if we had the technology to trace Rey, we’d have done so already. Besides that, Rey’s strong willed, and a survivor. If she’s anything like her brother, no one can make her do anything she doesn’t want to. Either she’ll resist Kylo, or she won’t, but it’s ultimately up to her.”

Finn wishes he could argue, but he knows that Alia's right. Without a way to track Rey, there’s no way to help. And Rey's strong enough to resist Kylo. He hopes.

Finn blows out a long breath. “Okay, so we can’t help Rey right now. What about the rest of the galaxy? We can’t stand by while Snoke keeps taking over planet after planet.”

Alia leans back on her hands, studying Finn as he paces the room.

“You tell me, Finn. We’re out of allies and short on time. What’s our next move?”  

Finn recognizes the question for what it is - a challenge, and a statement of Alia’s faith in him. Finn thinks for a long moment and then asks - “You said that Kylo scattered the Knights. Can we trace them?”

“Not easily,” Alia says, “He never told me where he sent them. But it’s possible. What else?”

“Snoke,” Finn says. There’s a half formed idea in the back of Finn’s mind, and he reaches for it, trying to smooth it into a plan. “Where does Snoke’s power come from?”

Alia beams at Finn, a rare sight. “Now _that_ , my apprentice, is the right question. There aren’t many people who know this, but - ”

A sharp rap on the door startles them both, and Finn’s heart sinks. They were so close to finding an answer. He knows it in his bones. But a quick check of his chrono tells him that it’s time for dinner with the royal family.

“Shit,” Alia says, echoing Finn’s thoughts. “The rest of that story will have to wait.”

She quirks a grin at Finn, though, and gives him one last training challenge for the day: “Tell me, my apprentice, who’s outside that door?”

Finn closes his mind, reaches out with the Force, and knows the answer at once: “My mother.”

“How many guards are with her?”

“Seven, plus the five that were already here,” Finn says. It’s getting easier to identify individual Force signatures now, and he’s proud of the accomplishment. “So twelve.”

Alia quirks a half smile at him. “Your mother must be quite the trouble maker, to warrant that many guards. I like her already. Can you tell her that we’ll just be a minute?”

Finn does, sending the message to his mother through the Force.

Then Finn checks his weapons belt - both sabers are still secure - and replaces the long coat that conceals his weapons. He grabs his his shoes and straightens his tie, and then he and Alia are off, toward the next chapter of their adventure on Artorias.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick note on ages and timelines: According to the novel Bloodline, Kylo was 23 when he destroyed the Jedi temple.
> 
> For the purposes of this fic, he and Alia were 28 when they destroyed the temple together. They're 30 ish now. Finn and Rey are still their canon ages; 18 and 22, since this is before TFA.
> 
> *
> 
> I'd love to hear what you think!


	26. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn spends more time with his newfound family, and learns something surprising about them. 
> 
> Alia, meanwhile, is on a very different path.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd by the excellent [Classic Vision](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Classic_Vision/pseuds/Classic_Vision)
> 
> I apologize for the slow updates. To be honest, TLJ fucked me up emotionally, and it's been a really rough two months since then.
> 
> I'm working my butt off on this fic though, so I hope ya'll enjoy!

_Artorias_

‘A simple dinner’ with Finn’s family turns out to be a royal feast with 50 people at least. There are four long tables in an elegant dining hall, kids bouncing in their seats as they chatter happily away to their parents, and of course, the lining the walls, the Stormtroopers that seem to be _everywhere_ on Artorias, somehow.

Finn enters with his mother on his right and Alia on his left, and he takes a moment to breathe it all in - the laughter, the smells, the smiles and boisterous conversations taking place at the tables. Then he follows his mother to a long, rectangular table and takes a seat across from her.

Tana sits down next to a man that Finn recognizes at once, through the Force. Once again the Force sings out happily, all around him - _Family. Family. Family._

“This is my husband, Caled,” Tana says to Finn and Alia. “Darling, these are the students who came to visit me today.”

Finn’s father - Caled - looks tired, as if he’s had a long day, but at this his eyes light up, and he gives a genuine grin. “Ah of course, the university students. It’s so lovely of you to come. Tana’s been talking about you all afternoon.”

Finn flicks his eyes to Tana’s at this, a silent, _Does he know who I am yet?_

Tana shakes her head, and Finn relaxes. It’s been a long, emotional day, and he’s not sure he could handle the strain of another emotional reunion under the close watch of Stormtroopers.This way, with his father not yet knowing who he is, Finn can just enjoy getting to know the man.

“Tell me,” Caled says, “What do you two study?”

“Customs and combat,” Alia says.

“Anything and everything,” Finn says.

Caled takes them both in and gives them another grin. “Please, tell me all about it. I want to hear everything.”

Caled’s curiosity and energy is infectious, and soon Finn finds himself talking about his medical apprenticeship with Doctor Noble, leaving out the fact that it was on Starkiller Base.

“I teach field medicine,” Caled says thoughtfully when Finn’s done. “Did Tana tell you that?”

Finn shakes his head and leans forward, already so curious that he’s forgotten about his food. In this moment there’s nothing in the world but him, and his family, and he wants to find out everything he can about them, to make up for all the time they’ve missed.

“Weren’t you the palace healer originally?” Finn asks. “How did you get into teaching?”

Caled reaches for Tana’s hand and squeezes it, looking at her like he’s still a besotted teenager. “I fell in love with a teacher, and then I fell in love with teaching. Well, that’s the short version. There’s more to the story, if you want to hear an old man talk.”

Finn grins. “Tell me everything.”

*

Alia Ren shifts uncomfortably beside Finn at the table. Finn’s been bonding with his newfound family - his mother and sister, and now his father - for nearly an hour, listening to the story of how his parents met, and the life they’ve spent together.

It’s been an hour full of grins and bright eyes and bittersweet joy, and Alia can feel all of it though her bond with Finn. It’s like nothing she’s ever felt before, and it’s overwhelming and alienating at the same time.

Alia _should_ be happy for Finn, and she will be, in time. But in this moment, watching him enjoy the family reunion that she’ll never get to have, Alia can’t help her own jealousy.

It’s almost a relief when Snoke summons her, just before desert, and Alia has an excuse to leave the table. Before the skull-splitting pain kicks in, she makes her way from the room, stopping in the first abandoned corridor she can find, and opens her mind to the summons of the Supreme Leader.

 _Where have you been?_ Snoke demands, the moment Alia opens her mind to him. _Your presence has been hidden from me all day._

“Shit,” Alia mutters out loud. She’d been cloaking the better part of her Force signature all day, using the Force only to scan her surroundings and communicate with Finn. It was a precaution, in case there were unfriendly Force users nearby - specifically, Force users who might report back to Snoke that Alia Ren had shown up in disguise with an apprentice by her side.

Alia takes a deep breath, shakes off that thought and answers the man who still controls her life.

_I was in hyperspace, father, she says, keeping her thoughts calm and even. I was following another lead in search of Skywalker, but it was a dead end._

There’s an interminable pause, and Alia can feel Snoke weighing the truth of her words.

Finally Snoke says, _Very well. I have a new task for you tonight. Report to me at once._

 _Yes Supreme Leader,_ Alia sends, and then Snoke is gone.

As the thick, choking fog of Snoke’s presence withdraws from Alia’s mind, she sucks in deep breaths of fresh air, trying to calm herself. Then she realizes that someone is calling her name.

“Alia,” Finn’s saying. “Alia. Are you alright?”

“Snoke,” Alia murmurs, her eyes still closed. “He summoned me.”

“I know,” Finn says quietly. “I felt it.”

Alia’s eyes fly open, to see compassion in Finn’s. It’s unnerving, to be looked at like that.

“I’m fine, Finn,” Alia says, rolling her eyes dramatically. Finn’s compassion is almost harder to bear than Snoke’s hatred. “I’ve been through worse. He probably just wants me clean up one of his messes. I’ll go take care of whatever it is, and meet you back here in the morning.”

Finn looks like he wants to argue, but says only, “Be careful.”

“You too,” Alia says. And then she’s gone, making for Snoke’s temple as fast as she can.

* * * * *

_The Supreme Leader’s Temple_

Before Alia enters Snoke’s grand stone temple, she hides all thoughts of Finn and his family carefully away. The last thing she wants is to put Finn in Snoke’s crosshairs, and that includes protecting the people that Finn cares about. So she puts all those memories behind her mental walls of flame.

Alia tucks away too the memory of her recent night spent on Kanis, in bed with Cass. Their relationship has always been casual, kept within the bounds of the bedroom, but even still, Cass holds a small piece of Alia’s heart.

With that done, Alia takes a deep breath to ground herself, then goes inside.

As usual, even though Alia can sense the Supreme Leader’s presence nearby, she doesn’t get to see his face. Instead, she kneels in front of a giant stone throne that holds the holo image of Snoke.

“How may I serve you today, father?” Alia asks. She barely manages not to choke on the last word.

“Ah my child. Home at last.”

Snoke’s voice resonates through the large temple chamber, as if he’s nowhere and everywhere at once. “I’ve missed you, these past few weeks. What’s so important that it’s kept you from me?”

“I was guarding Kylo’s guest, at his request,” Alia says, fighting to keep her mind emotionless, and her voice even.

“Of course,” Snoke says, voice saccharine. “You and Kylo used to be so close, before you drifted away from us both. It’s good to see my children getting along again.”

Alia nods, not trusting herself to respond.

Thankfully, Snoke moves on. “I have three assignments for you tonight,” he says. He flicks a lazy wrist and a blue holoscreen activates, showing three different profiles.

The first two are male politicians that Alia doesn't recognize. She makes quick work of memorizing their faces and locations.

Then Alia looks at the third profile properly for the first time, and her heart flips.

It's Cass.  

Well, it's the woman Paige knows as Cass, anyway. Snoke’s holoscreen has her identified as Paige Tico, an intelligence agent for the Resistance.

Alia spares a moment to be impressed that Cass has concealed her identity and allegiance for so long, and in that moment, Alia’s mental shields slip.

“Ah so you know this young woman then,” Snoke says. His voice holds malicious glee. “Who is she to you? A girlfriend, perhaps?”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Alia says automatically, because it’s true. She and Cass have been careful to keep things separate over the years. From the start they'd agreed that business is business, and pleasure is pleasure.

Still, Alia’s only human, and she's...fond of Cass. It's not love, this thing between them, but over the years it has been companionship, and passion, and, a few times - when Alia had needed it the most - solace.

Alia schools her face into a dismissive sneer, even as her chest tightens. “She’s nothing but a dalliance, Supreme Leader. One I’ll gladly end tonight.”

Snoke sits back, grinning over steepled fingers. “Good, my child. I’m glad to hear it. Your other two targets are on planets close to Kanis. I assume you can have them all taken care of by tomorrow?”

“Yes, Supreme Leader,” Alia says obediently, but her mind is already spinning.

 _Cass?_ she thinks, being careful to shield her wild thoughts from Snoke this time. _Can I really kill Cass? What will happen to me if I don’t? What will happen to Finn?_

Alia must have been standing still and staring for just a moment too long, because the Supreme Leader barks out, “Well? Move, child!”

And Alia does.

She completes the first two hits in quick succession, with barely even a thought of remorse. They’re both politicians who’ve been conspiring against Snoke, and Alia feels no pity for them.

 _This is their own fault,_ Alia tells herself, as she slits the second man’s throat. _They knew the risk when they defied the Supreme Leader. Anyone foolish enough to do so knows they’ll meet my blade. I am the Supreme Leader’s hand, and I act for him, so let their deaths be on their own heads._

It’s a familiar refrain, one that’s helped Alia sleep at night for years.

For the first time, it rings hollow. Especially, as she turns her ship toward Kanis, with her next target in mind.

* * * * *

_Artorias_

On Artorias, Finn can’t sleep.

It’s been a wonderful and exhausting day getting to know the family he never thought he’d meet. Still, he knows that it’s only a temporary peace. War is still raging through the galaxy, Alia’s still under Snoke’s control, and Rey - Rey’s still gone.

Finn’s never prayed before, but he sends out a prayer to the Force for Rey. For safety and comfort and protection, wherever she is. Finn prays that Rey will remember who she is, and that she is loved. That she will remember him.

A creak in the shadows of Finn’s room startles him from his prayer.

He’s on his feet with sabers drawn and blazing before he realizes what’s going on: a wall panel is moving aside to reveal a hidden passageway, and a figure is stepping out of it, landing lightly on the floor.

“Hey Finn,” Kaye says with a grin. “Can’t sleep?”

“Kaye,” Finn says, sighing in relief, and extinguishing his sabers at once. “What are you doing here?”

Kaye eyes the saber hilts, one eyebrow raised in an unasked question. Then she shrugs and says, “Your emotions are loud. I heard you calling out to the Force, and I thought I would answer. Do you want to talk about it?”

Finn lets out the rest of the breath he’s been holding, and then smiles, tired but real. “Yeah, thanks Kaye. That would be great.”

Finn sits on the bed and Kaye joins him, crossing her legs and facing him, and bouncing up and down a little as she does. They’re both in nightclothes, and Finn has a sudden thought that, if they’d grown up together, maybe they would have had late night chats like this more often.

It’s a bittersweet thought, so Finn pushes past it.

“So,” Kaye says with a smile. “What’s on your mind?”

“It’s Rey,” Finn says at once. “She’s a girl that I met back on Starkiller Base, when I was still a Stormtrooper. We became friends, and trained in the Force together. We also -” Finn’s voice catches on the words, “we fell in love. Then Kylo Ren showed up and kidnapped her, and now she’s trapped, somewhere untraceable with him.”

Kaye sucks in a breath. “Stars, Finn, that’s awful. How can I help?”

Finn lets himself flop backward on the bed, letting out a breath. “Unless you know where Kylo Ren keeps his victims, I don’t think there’s much you can do. Thanks for listening though. It’s - it’s nice.”

“What was this girl doing on Starkiller Base?” Kaye asks, studying Finn. “Was she a stormtrooper, like you?”

“Nope. She was kidnapped by Snoke when she was a kid. She was 5 or 6 when she was taken, I think, because she still remembers her family.”

Kaye lays back too, beside Finn, and Finn feels something settle into place, as if this is where he was always meant to be. Where he still belongs, even after all this time.

They both go quiet for a long moment, and Finn lets himself relax, lulled into rest by the comfort of a sister who already feels so familiar.

“Rey,” Kaye muses quietly, as if to herself. “That name sounds familiar, but I can’t quite place it. What’s her last name?”

“Organa,” Finn says with a yawn. “Breha Rey Organa.”

Kaye sits bolt upright and Finn follows suit, suddenly fully awake again.

“What - “ Finn starts to ask, but Kaye’s rapidly typing into her commlink. Tana’s voice answers from the other end, and Kaye says at once, “Finn’s seen Leia’s daughter, and she’s alive. Can I bring him down?”

The line goes quiet and then Tana asks, “Ask him if he’s ever had a class with Professor Tico.”

Finn’s startled by the change in topic, but racks his mind for the answer. It’s a test, and one he wants to pass.

_Tico. Why does that sound so familiar?_

Then Finn remembers why he knows the name. “Do you mean Paige? The weaponsmith on Kanis?”

“Perfect,” Kaye beams. She stands up and beckons Finn to follow, and leads him toward the hidden tunnel in the wall. “Come on, little brother. I have something to show you.”

*

Cautious but curious, Finn follows his sister into the hidden passageways of the Galfridian palace.

“Kaye? Why does our family have an elaborate network of hidden tunnels?” Finn asks as they walk.

Kaye grins. “This isn’t the first time our family’s been under house arrest for resisting one regime or another. Fighting fascists is a family pastime, apparently. So we learned how to get around, away from watchful eyes.”

“Ah.”

Finn follows Kaye through dimly lit hallways that eventually narrow into a tunnel that looks like it’s been carved through solid rock.

Kaye gestures to the rocky tunnel. “Our great great grandparents carved this tunnel into the mountain that the palace is built on. On the other side, tucked safely into the mountain, is the war room.”

 _War room?_ Finn thinks, but he continues to follow Kaye through the dark. Eventually the tunnel widens again and they reach a large door. Kaye pushes it open.

It’s a spacious room, well lit and strangely cheery for the circumstances. A handful of people stand in small clusters, talking quietly. Finn’s mother stands off to the side, scrolling through a holo database.

Everyone looks up as Finn enters, with his sister by his side.

Then Kaye says, “Welcome to the Resistance, Finn.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next in the story:
> 
> Kylo Ren's helmet finally comes off. 
> 
> Thank you all SO MUCH for the constant love in the comments you give. It makes me smile every time, and keeps me going. Ya'll are amazing.


	27. Family - Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo's mask comes off at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to my excellent beta [Classic Vision](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Classic_Vision/pseuds/Classic_Vision) for keeping me going on this story.
> 
> Chapter warnings: gaslighting, emotional abuse, physical violence. This was excruciating to write.

_Mustafar_

Rey stands in the entrance of Darth Vader’s castle, surrounded by lava on all sides. The landing pad behind them - where Kylo's shuttle and the doctor wait - and the rocky hill where the castle sits is the only land in sight.

 _There’s nowhere to run,_ Rey thinks grimly. _There’s no way out. But hopefully, there’s a way through._

Rey follows Kylo Ren into the castle.

It takes her eyes a moment to adjust to the dim light, but then she sees where they are: a cavernous room full of deep lava pits, with black marble paths winding around them. At one end of the room sit three thrones, a larger one in the middle, and smaller ones on each side. The two smallest thrones are empty, but the center throne is draped with what looks like a black cape, and a battered black ventilator mask is placed carefully upon the seat.

 _It’s a shrine,_ Rey thinks, in sick fascination. _To Darth Vader._

Kylo makes a grand show of striding up to the dias that holds the three thrones. He takes the throne to the right of Vader’s shrine, and then he leans forward, elbows on knees, and holds his hand out to Rey.

“Join me, Breha Rey,” Kylo says, and his voice is silk. “Join me, and we’ll complete your family’s legacy together.”  

Rey knows that the show is supposed to be impressive, but she’s tired, and in pain, and sick of this repetition.

“Are we really doing this again?” Rey asks, trying to sound bored like Alia does. “How many times do I have to say no?”

Kylo lets out a low growl, and Rey suddenly feels an invisible Force knocking her off her feet, dragging her through the air, and pushing her down to kneel in front of the dias steps. She finds herself frozen in genuflection at Kylo Ren's feet, and hates him for it. Still, Rey grits her teeth and carries on. _The only way out of this is through, and I must make it through._

“Join me,” Kylo says again, and it’s no longer a question. “Or you’ll starve in the dungeons beneath this very throne room.”

Rey hates, she _hates_ that Kylo knows her childhood fears - of being trapped, starving and alone under solid stone - but still, she doesn’t give in. She refuses to even look up at Kylo on his horrible throne. She doesn’t want to give him the satisfaction of a response.

Rey hears a deep modulated sigh, and then Kylo Ren stands up. He reaches gloved hands to both sides of his head, and removes his helmet with a hiss.

From her low vantage point, still forced to kneel, Rey can only see the long black hair that Kylo shakes free, not the details of his face. She hears the clang of Kylo’s helmet as it comes to rest on the throne next to to Vader’s. She sees Kylo's feet stalking toward her, a predator after prey. Rey doesn’t look up. She doesn’t want to see the eyes of the man who killed her brother, not until she’s strong enough to take her revenge. So she keeps her eyes trained on the floor, even as the monster from her nightmares stalks toward her.

Black boots stop in front of her and Kylo removes one glove, and then the other, dropping each into Rey’s line of sight.

Then Kylo Ren kneels down.

A bare, gentle hand brushes Rey’s cheek, and gentle fingers try to lift her chin. Rey resists, and keeps her eyes stubbornly closed, like a child trying to ignore a monster. It's foolish and she knows it, but she doesn't yet want to see his face. 

“Join me, Rey,” a soft voice says, and Rey sucks in a deep breath. She _knows_ that voice, as well as she knows her own. That voice sang her to sleep after nightmares as a child. It calmed her with soothing words when she was kidnapped, starving and trapped underneath solid stone. Her dead brother’s voice.

“Join me, little sister,” Ben Organa says, “and we’ll fulfill _our_ family’s legacy. Together.”

Rey finally looks up, and her world stops.

Kylo -  _Ben? -_ looks everything and nothing like she remembers. His face is more lined, his skin is paler, his eyes are brighter. But it's him, nonetheless; the person who taught her the names of the stars, who looked after her when she was sick. Who had always, always protected her.

Rey looks into the face of the person she once loved more than anyone in the world and whispers, “Ben?”

“It’s me, little one,” Ben - _Kylo? -_ says, voice low and soothing. “I finally found you.”

Rey’s mind is telling her that this is _wrong,_ that this is Kylo Ren, the _Jedi Killer_ , a merciless tyrant...and yet as he helps her to her feet with gentle hands, and cups her cheek while he looks at her fondly, Rey forgets. She forgets the massacre she saw just hours before, and for a moment, she sees only her brother. 

“Everything I’ve done has been for you,” he says softly, his voice lilting and familiar. “I searched the galaxy for you, little sister, long after everyone else had forgotten you. I restored this castle - _our grandfather’s_ castle - to its former glory. All for you."

Rey can't help it. She knows that she should be repulsed beyond belief, but shock has overtaken all her good sense. She leans, ever so slightly, into the bare hand cupping her cheek. Kylo smiles in response. His deep voice is even and soothing as he continues on.

"Did you know that there’s a whole wing of this castle, just waiting for you to claim it? There’s armor waiting for you to step into it, and fine clothes and weapons I had designed just for you. I won't abandon you like everyone else did, little sister. You'll be fed, and trained, powerful and safe. You'll never want for anything again."

Rey’s drawn into the words, the warmth, the familiarity. All she’s ever wanted was to find her family again; all she’s ever wanted was to be cared for.  If she closes her eyes long enough, she can almost believe that it's true. 

Still - “I don’t understand,” Rey whispers. “What happened? Where have you been?”

“Looking for you,” he says simply. “The others, they all gave up, but I knew you were still alive. I knew it in my bones and I was _right,_ Rey. I found you, and saved you back when you were dying on Jakku.”

“The sandstorm,” Rey whispers. She’d almost forgotten, because it feels like a lifetime ago. All of this had started with a sandstorm that trapped her inside a rusted out ship for days. “The last thing I remember is being frozen and thirsty, so thirsty. And then falling. How did you find me?” Rey asks.

“The Supreme Leader,” hemurmurs. "He's been guiding me for years now, and he led me to you."

Rey sucks in a sharp breath and leans away on instinct. She only knows about Snoke from rumors, but even those are bad enough.

Kylo chuckles, and lays a gentle hand on Rey's shoulder now. “I can see that you have a low opinion of Supreme Leader Snoke. I did too, at first. But he’s helped me become more powerful than I could have dreamed, and he can help you too. Don't you see? You and I can rule the galaxy, Rey, side by side. Together we can finish what Darth Vader started.”

The mention of Vader is a sharp blow that Rey back to reality, like a boulder sinking through a dream. Suddenly Rey remembers where she is - at Darth Vader’s palace - and she remembers who she’s with - the man who slaughtered a temple full of Jedi children. The man who, just days ago, slaughtered a peaceful Ottegan village in front of Rey's eyes.

Rey steps quickly away. “You’re not my brother,” she says, voice wavering. “My brother loved me, and he never would have hurt me like this. He never would have played these games.”

“What games?” Ben - _Kylo? -_ says, and his voice is still deep and soothing. “I rescued you from certain death, and healed you. I’ve been good to you, Rey.”

He advances on her, reaching out again to touch her. Rey jerks away so quickly that she nearly falls. She takes two quick steps back and then stops, regaining her feet.

“You didn’t rescue me,” Rey says, and now there's no waver in her voice. “You kidnapped me! You locked me up with strangers, and left me there for days. Then you threatened Finn, my only friend, just to get me here. That’s not how you treat someone you love!”

“You don’t know the first thing about _love_ ,” Kylo sneers. “You'll do terrible things too, once you understand what love is. Everything I’ve done, Rey, everyone I’ve killed, has been for you.”

“You killed FOR me?” Rey yells. “My brother would have DIED for me, but he never would have killed innocent children! He NEVER would have done the things you’ve done.” Reality is coming back harsh and hard, and sinking into Rey's gut like a knife. Kylo - yes, she's sure it's _Kylo_ now, not Ben - has been playing her for a fool, and no matter how much it hurts, she must wrench herself from the fantasy he's offering.

For a long moment they face off, both breathing hard. Then Kylo Ren starts to laugh. It’s an ugly laugh, harsh and cruel, and sounds so  _wrong_  coming from Ben Organa's mouth. Kylo Ren laughs until Rey’s face is bright red with rage, and then, he drops the act.

“You’re so right,” Kylo says with a mocking grin, all trace of caring now gone from his voice. “Your brother never _could_ have done the things I’ve done. Your brother was weak, and foolish, and now he’s _dead_.” Kylo says the last word with relish, and it’s the malicious glee in his voice that finally sets Rey’s temper fully ablaze.

“How. Dare. You,” Rey hisses. Her face starts to heat with anger, and the room does too. “How _dare_ you wear his face while you slaughter innocents? How DARE you sully his memory like that?”

Kylo laughs again, and Rey wants to slap that twisted expression right off of his face. The Ben that she knew was be kind, protective, and full of life. Nothing like this power hungry monster she's looking at now.

“I like that fire, little one. You’re going to make an excellent apprentice.”

Kylo steps forward again, his frame dwarfing Rey’s. This time Rey stops, planting her feet firmly on the ground. “No, I won’t.”

Kylo takes another step forward, and Rey feels a frightening surge of emotions rise up inside her, all at once. There’s grief for the brother she never got to mourn, and who made such horrible choices in the end. There’s anger at the man in front of her, who mocks Ben’s memory by wearing his face. And then - then there’s fear. Rey’s trapped between deep pits of lava, in a giant, sealed room, and is being advanced upon by her worst nightmare.

Just like in the greenhouse, Rey’s emotions rise up until they blot out everything else. This time, she lets them.

Rey closes her eyes and pictures her anger as acrid smoke, surrounding and choking Kylo Ren. She pictures her grief as lava, rising from the deep pits beside her and heading straight toward Kylo. She pictures the lava wrapping around him slowly, melting his limbs away before it sucks him into the flaming abyss.

“Rey! REY!”

Rey opens her eyes to see that her visions have come to life. Lava really _is_ rising from the pits below, eating away at the wide paths that wind through the throne room. In the air around her face, thick smoke curls and tiny flames explode like fireworks, leaving bright spots of white in her vision. Then she sees - just like in her vision - that the lava is heading straight toward Kylo Ren. It’s eating through the very ground that he stands on, threatening to pull him down into the abyss.

Of course, this is also the ground that _she_ stands on, but Rey wouldn’t stop the oncoming lava, even if she could. The living Force is interacting with her emotions in ways she never would have expected, and it feels _good._ The sensation of channeling all that raw, sinister energy is heady. Addicting. And she doesn’t want to let go.

“Rey, STOP! That’s an order!”

She doesn’t. She lets the fire inside her keep building, and the lava from the pits keeps rising, following Kylo as he backs frantically away. 

Rey stretches out her hands to the sides, feeling the power of the dark Force in this place flow through her, and it feels _wonderful._ In this moment, it feels right. She can feel the fire of her anger in her eyes, her limbs, even on her skin. Everything burns and for once, she’s willing to burn with it, as long as Kylo Ren does too. 

Kylo yells her name once more, then he waves a hand in her direction. He closes his fist and Rey falls to the ground, eyes closed, as her entire world goes black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's your daily reminder that Kylo is a bad dude, and that everything he says and does is abusive. Just in case someone was considering misinterpreting this scene as love - it's not. It's abuse. 
> 
> Okay, whew! Double update today (and another coming soon.) 
> 
> Questions, reactions, and comments make my day! What did you think?


	28. A Momentary Lapse of Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn has just discovered that his family is part of the Resistance. 
> 
> Rey is still dealing with Kylo Ren - an another unexpected piece of news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd chapter - all mistakes are my own. Dedicated to [conn8d](http://archiveofourown.org/users/conn8d/pseuds/conn8d) and [classic-vision](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Classic_Vision/pseuds/Classic_Vision) for their support and help on this fic. It wouldn't be what it is without you!

****_Artorias - The War Room_

The Resistance - or rather, the Galfridian family branch of it -  is overwhelming and wonderful at the same time. It’s a cozy underground space lit by flickering torch light, with a long conference table at one end. A few small groups of people standing together, murmuring quietly, and Finn's mother Tana stands off to one side, tinkering with a flat holoscreen.

Near the door a young man and woman, about Finn’s age, both stand at attention. Finn notices, with a bit of surprise, that they’re carrying sabers as well as blasters - although their saber hilts are different than any he’s ever seen. He makes a mental note to ask them about it later, since he still wants to build his own saber as soon as he gets the chance.

Finn's sister Kaye introduces the guards as Femi and Kyra, Finn’s first cousins. Femi and Kyra step up to embrace Finn as one, exclaiming in surprise and joy that he’s alive, and that he’s home. Finn hugs them back, breathing them in, and the Kaye’s tugging on his sleeve.

There are more people to meet.

Kaye leads Finn around the rest of the space, introducing him to everyone as _Prince Finn Galfridian_. Finn meets his grandfather, an aunt and uncle, and a handful of trusted family friends, all within a few minutes. Just like his cousins, they embrace him and offer him warm smiles, welcoming him home.

It’s heady and overwhelming, and absolutely wonderful. All Finn’s ever wanted was to be a part of something like this, to have something _real_ to fight for. Now he’s found his family and a worthy cause, all in one go, and it feels amazing.

Tana, still standing off to one side of the room, calls Finn over and greets him with a long hug. She asks him what he knows about Rey, and Finn explains - Rey's alive, but he’s not sure where.

Tana hums, considering. Then she says, “Even if Rey’s missing again, it’s still good news that she’s alive. Let’s let Leia Organa know.”

Tana types a long string of numbers into a keypad, and the flat holoscreen starts to crackle with static. The next moment, the static resolves into the image of a grey-haired woman. Her face is marked by the lines of age and experience, but her eyes are sharp and hopeful.

 _Like Rey’s eyes,_ Finn thinks.

“Tana, old friend,” Leia Organa says warmly. “Are we on a secure line?”

“We are.” Tana beams. “And I have wonderful news. Leia, my son is alive, and he’s come home. He’s alive, and he's home, and he’s seen your daughter.”

Leia’s face goes so still that for a moment, Finn thinks the hologram has frozen. Then Leia whispers, “Breha’s alive?”

“She is,” Tana says, “but she’s been taken, and we’re not sure where. Here, I’ll let my son explain.“

Tana gestures to Finn, and steps up to the screen. He introduces himself - loving the way that _Finn Galfridian_ rolls off his tongue - and then explains the situation: he met Rey on Starkiller Base and helped in her recovery, but then Kylo Ren returned and now Rey’s gone again, without a trace.

Leia’s face goes through a million emotions as Finn tells his story. He ends with, “But she’s still alive, General. I know it.”

“Please, call me Leia. And I feel it too. I’ve felt it for days.”

“She’s out there,” Finn says again, as if he needs the reminder too. “We just have to find her.”

“Thank you Finn,” Leia says. “For caring about my daughter, and for bringing me this wonderful news.”

Leia’s starting to look a little teary, and Finn has a lump in his throat that’s making it hard to talk, so he steps back and listens as Tana and Leia move on to other topics. Finn listens carefully as the two women discuss possible strategies for tracking Rey, and what it might mean for the Resistance that the lost Galfridian prince has finally returned home.

“You’re a symbol of hope, you know,” Leia says to Finn, and he steps back into view of the holoscreen to rejoin the conversation.

Leia’s voice crackles through the holoscreen as she explains. “Many royal families - especially those who fought against the last Empire - had children taken from them. We didn’t figure out the pattern until it was much too late, but now I think it was Snoke’s way of keeping us in line. He wanted to keep us distracted by our own grief while he built another version of the Empire."

“Force,” Finn says. “That’s awful.”

Leia continues. “I’m ashamed to say that it worked. I was so wrapped up in losing my daughter that I didn't notice the signs of the First Order's rise until it was too late. If only we'd been looking outward, instead of inward, we might have seen it in time.”

Leia falls silent, and Tana takes a step closer to Finn. Tana reaches out to touch Finn’s arm as if she needs to remind herself that the nightmare is over. That her son really has come home.

Leia shakes her head and clears her throat, squaring her shoulders and taking on a more business like tone.

“At any rate, Finn, you're home now. And if you’re willing to, you could spread a message of hope to every family who’s lost a child, and to every planet who’s still occupied by First Order troops.

"There are hundreds of occupied planets right now who are just waiting for the right time to rise up. Our plan is to synchronize that rebellion, so that billions of people will be rising up at the same time, driving the First Order from their planets, all at once. That way, that old bastard Snoke won’t have time to respond until it’s too late.

"If all goes to plan, by the time Snoke organizes his forces to suppress any one rebellion, a hundred others will already have taken place. He’ll have to spread his attention across the whole galaxy, leaving himself, and hopefully the First Order, vulnerable for attack.”

Finn whistles. It’s a good plan, and he can’t help but be impressed.

Leia continues. “The problem is, right now we only have a handful of planetary leaders on board. Many more have said they want to join us, but they're too afraid. Many royal families - especially those who lost children - have given up hope. They need a reminder that there's still a way to win, and that there are still reasons to fight.

“If you want, Finn, you could light that match. You could carry the message of hope to other royal families, telling them that their children might still be alive, and in Snoke's custody. You could remind people that all is not yet lost.”

Finn nods mutely as his mind kicks into tactical mode. He quickly calculates the variables, and is surprised to find out that, while Leia’s plan isn’t necessarily _likely_ to succeed, it is _possible_. And sometimes, a single possibility is all you need. 

Finn’s about to say as much - that of _course_ he’ll help. Of _course_ he’ll spread this message of hope - when, behind him, the door to the war room opens with a bang.

Leia looks over Finn's shoulder at the newcomer, and her voice turns to ice. “Tana, _old friend,_ what’s Snoke’s daughter doing in your war room?”

Finn glances back to see Alia, now in her full Knight’s armor and robes. It’s a show-stopping sight, and the small crowd parts, as if on instinct. All eyes turn to Alia, and to Paige Tico, who comes in behind her a half second later.

“My name is Lady Alia Ren,” Alia announces to the room, head held high. “And I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I’m here to join the kriffing Resistance.”

Leia swears, Tana stares and Finn - Finn just laughs.

* * * * *

_Mustafar_

Rey wakes to rough hands and a sharp voice, shaking her and shouting her name.

“Force damn it, Rey, wake up!” Kylo's words aren't an order, but a frantic plea. “Wake up!”

Rey opens her eyes out of curiosity more than anything, and sees that Kylo look genuinely concerned.

Rey groans. Now that she's awake properly, her head feels like it's full of fire, and her skin does too. She reaches up to touch her face gingerly, and finds that it's hot to the touch, and stinging with pain. The fire she summoned must have burned her, too.

Kylo offers her a hand but Rey scoots away from him, and stands up, with effort, on her own.

“Don't touch me,” Rey hisses. “I can take care of myself.”

“Clearly,” Kylo deadpans. He raises a pointed eyebrow at the destroyed throne room. “Clearly you don't need my help or training. You've got it all under control.”

Rey surveys the throne room - it really is in ruins - and briefly takes satisfaction in the fact that she was able to mar Vader’s perfect shrine. Then she feels another wave of pain coming on, and with it, renewed fury.

“I’ll figure it out on my own,” Rey snaps. “I certainly don't need you, of all people, to teach me how to control my anger.”

“I don't want to teach you to _control_ it,” Kylo sneers. “I want to teach you to _use_ it.”

There’s a hungry gleam in Kylo’s eye, and he’s looking at Rey with something like _pride_. He speaks softly, but with a manic energy. “Look at what you accomplished just now, without any training whatsoever. I can refine you into the perfect weapon, Rey. Together we can -”

“There is no _we,_ Kylo Ren. You’re my captor, and I’m going to be your killer. End of story.”

Kylo sighs. “Little sister -”

“Fuck. You,” Rey says. “You’re not my family, Kylo Ren, and you’re certainly not my brother. You’re nothing but the coward who wears his face.”

Kylo’s face goes dangerously still. “Let me put it this way, then. If you want to eat, you’ll train with me. If you want medical care for your well-deserved wounds, you’ll _train with me_. You already know that there’s no way off this planet, so your choices are either me, or a long, slow death.”

“I’ll let you know,” Rey deadpans.

Kylo huffs, and actually throws up his hands. “Fine then. Let's see how long you last here on your own, if you continue to snub my generosity. Find me when you’re ready to be reasonable - or when you want to eat.”

Kylo stalks off, footsteps echoing through the destroyed throne room. Rey listens to his footfalls as they retreat down the corridor. Then, when she’s sure he’s far enough away that he’s out of earshot, she lets herself sink to the cold marble floor, and she breaks.

Her boiling anger from just moments before had come from the realization of a horrible certainty: Ben Organa, the brother she’d loved and looked up to, truly is gone.

 _Dead_ and _alive_ seem like semantics at the point; clearly Ben’s body lives on, but the brother that Rey once loved - the brother that loved and protected her has chosen to follow hate instead of love. He’s chosen to murder and enslave, instead of fight for freedom.

He’s chosen to become a monster.

Rey lets her shoulders slump and rests her head on her knees. Then, she lets the tears come.

She allows herself endless moments to mourn, pouring over old memories of her and Ben - memories now marred by what he’s chosen to become. She lets herself feel everything she’s been repressing until now - shock, fury, terrible grief. She lets herself cry until she’s out of tears.

Then, with effort, she tucks her emotions and memories away, takes a deep breath, and stands up.

_It’s time to make a plan._

* * * * *

_Artorias - The War Room_

There’s a shocked second after Alia enters, when nobody moves. Then, blasters and sabers are whipped out of weapons belts, and pointed at Alia.

Finn moves quickly to the center of the room, facing his family and holding out his hands in a gesture of peace. At the same time, Paige steps in front of Alia and crosses her arms.

In unison, Finn and Paige say, “She’s with me.”

The room goes utterly silent and still. Then Tana points to the two guards at to the door and says, “Search her.”

Alia sighs dramatically and holds her arms out, letting Finn's cousins pat her down and take her sabers without complaint. Alia’s only reaction to the whole situation, in fact, is to raise an amused eyebrow in Finn’s direction.

 _They think I’m harmless without my lightsabers,_ Alia says through her bond with Finn. _That’s adorable._

Finn wants to grin at that, but the situation’s still tense, and he’s watching carefully for any sign that it could boil over. While it’s true that Alia’s deadly, even unarmed, the last thing Finn wants to do is have choose sides in a fight between his family and his mentor.

Thankfully, everyone’s waiting on an order from Tana to move. It’s an order that Tana doesn’t give.

Instead, once Alia’s been disarmed, Tana approaches her. “And what makes you think that we would allow you to join us, Lady Alia Ren? I didn’t recognize your face, before, but I certainly recognize your name. You’ve been working against us for years. What do you have to offer us now?”  

Alia answers at once. “I know how to take down the Supreme Leader, and I’m willing to help you do it.”

A murmur goes around the room, and all eyes turn to Tana.

Tana, in turn, turns to Finn. “Do you vouch for this woman?”

 _Well that’s a complicated question_ , Finn thinks. Alia’s an unrepentant assassin who has a high opinion of herself and a low opinion of the Resistance.

Finn decides to tell the simple truth. “Alia’s the reason that I’m free of the First Order, and she’s the reason that I’m here today. She’s also brilliant, and she has good reason for wanting to take down Snoke. I think you should hear her out.”

Tana says, “Very well.” She moves to pull out two chairs, one for her and one for Alia.

Leia Organa, who’s been watching the proceedings over the holocomm, scoffs. “Tana, you can’t be serious! You know what’s she’s done. It’s unforgivable! How can you even think about making an alliance with her?”

Tana says firmly, “I’m going to hear out the woman who helped bring my son home. I’ll comm you back.”

Tana ends the holocomm. Then she turns to Alia and gestures to the two chairs. “Sit with me, won’t you?”

Alia crosses the room gracefully, not even sparing a glance at the small host of weapons still pointed her way. She sits, calmly and with perfect posture, facing Tana.

“I knew you weren’t just a student,” Tana says with a wry smile, once Alia sits down. “You’re clearly much more than you appear, Alia Ren. So. Tell us who you really are.”

Alia tells Tana a shorter version of the story that Finn heard earlier that afternoon: she was taken from her parents as a child and raised in one of Snoke’s child soldier training programs, much like Finn was. Alia’s program, however, was more rough and tumble, and her fighting skills got her noticed by the Supreme Leader.

From there, Snoke went to work grooming and training her. By the time she was a teenager, Alia was assassinating heads of state. And it only got worse from there. Now she’s his ‘hand,’ working to enforce his will.

Tana listens intently as Alia talks, and Finn can tell that his mother’s listening with the Force, not just her ears. She’s trying to discern the truth behind Alia’s words.

Finally Tana asks, “And what brings you to a Resistance meeting, after all this time? According to your own testimony, you’ve been serving Snoke for decades. What changed to bring you here to us, tonight?”

Alia says, “Earlier this evening, Snoke sent me to assassinate the weaponsmith I knew as Cass. I’ve known her for years, and, well. She talked me into coming here instead.”

Finn raises an eyebrow at Cass, who’s listening nearby. Cass grins and winks.

Tana shakes her head, dismissively. “It has to be more than just that. Even though Cass - as you call her - is quite persuasive, no single person can alter the loyalty of another. Why are you really here, Alia?”

Alia takes a deep breath, and doesn’t look at Finn. “When Leia said I’ve committed unforgivable crimes, I assume she’s referring to the destruction of the Jedi temple. I - I lead that attack.”

Tana nods, clearly interested. “Go on.”

“A handful of years ago, I made a pact with the man you all know as Kylo Ren. He swore to help me kill the Supreme Leader, if I would help him kill Luke Skywalker.”

“And did you kill Luke?” Tana asks breathlessly, learning forward. “No one’s heard from him in years, and his sister fears the worst.”

Alia shakes her head. “We failed to kill Luke. We did destroy the Jedi temple though. We - “

Alia stops herself suddenly and sucks in a ragged breath. Finn notices all at once that she’s twirling her fingers against the sleeves of her robes, a habit that only appears when she’s anxious. He moves to stand behind her chair, just close enough that she knows he’s there, lending her silent support.

Still twirling her fingers, Alia continues her story. “We attacked the New Jedi temple at night, intending to face Luke alone. However, someone must have seen us coming and raised an alarm, so instead of finding the temple empty, we found a dozen adult Jedi, all armed and ready to fight.

“I liked our odds - we had the Knights of Ren with us, so our numbers were even - but Kylo didn’t. He told me to lead the attack on the temple, while he created a distraction. Then, he left the fight.”

Alia stops, with a choked sob. When she speaks again, her voice is a pleading whisper. “I - I never meant for it to happen this way. I swear it. But as I attacked the adult Jedi in the temple proper, Kylo snuck to where the younglings still slept and he - he set the building on fire, with the younglings still asleep inside.”

Alia gasps and covers her mouth, as if the memory were physically painful.

Finn, meanwhile, takes a sharp breath, and a step back. _This_ certainly wasn’t part of the story that Alia had told him earlier. Not these details at least.

Alia’s voice is empty. “I never intended it to happen like that, but intent means nothing when it comes to the deaths of innocents. Kylo killed younglings, and he did it on my watch. Nothing I do can ever make up for that.”

Alia takes a deep breath, and looks Tana dead in the eye. “You asked me what changed me, princess? What brought me here today? It was that moment. I killed _children_. Then I lost my taste for killing at all.”

The whole room goes quiet, and Finn feels emotions flowing freely around them all through the Force: anger, disbelief, doubt, grief. There are so many emotions that Finn can’t tell which are his, and which belong to others.

It’s Tana who breaks the silence. “What happened next?”

Alia clears her throat and continues. “I was already planning on killing the Supreme Leader, and after that day, my resolve was stronger than ever before. Unfortunately, the temple massacre had the opposite effect on Kylo. Killing those children awoke something dark and deep inside him, and he embraced it. Kylo swore himself to the Supreme Leader, and forgot about me, and the pact we had made.

"There was nothing I could do about it back then, but I swore that someday, I would get my revenge. That someday I would gain my freedom, whatever it took. And that’s why I’m here.”

Alia stops speaking, and all eyes in the room turn to Tana. Finn can see his mother weighing the truth in Alia’s words.

Finally Tana says, not unkindly, “What are you looking for here, Alia? Redemption?”

Alia shakes her head. “There’s no redemption for what I’ve done. There’s no way to make up for it, and I know I can never change it. I _can_ , however help you rid the galaxy of Snoke, and I thought that’s an offer you’d want to hear.

Tana gazes at Alia, considering. “It’s an intriguing offer, yes. And you took quite a risk in coming here, so I give you credit for sheer nerve.”

Tana drums her fingertips on the table and hums, thinking. Then she looks up to Finn and asks silently, _Do you believe that Alia’s sincere in her regret, and in her desire to kill the Supreme Leader?_

Finn nods immediately. His bond with Alia has only been growing stronger over the last few days, and he can feel her genuine regret over the past, flowing through it now. Along with her ever increasing resolve to kill Snoke and be free of him, once and for all.

 _We share a Force bond, and she means it. I’m sure of it,_ he sends.

“Alright, Alia Ren,” Tana says. “I can’t speak for Leia Organa, but I have an army of my own, and I’m willing to hear your terms. What do you propose we do?”

* * * * *

_Mustafar_

As soon as Rey’s back on her feet, she goes to work opening the massive castle doors. The lava burned them, too, revealing a hidden latch that lets her through. She heads out of the castle, back into the heat of the lava, and back down the landing strip, toward Kylo’s shuttle.

As she’d hoped, she finds Doctor Noble inside the shuttle, tinkering with some mechanical parts, and trying to bypass the security door to the ship’s controls.

Rey sits down next to the doctor and groans. “Please tell me you have good news. I assume you stayed behind to hotwire the ship?”

The doctor purses her lips. “I’ve been trying to for an hour, but unfortunately, I can’t. There are three locks on this security door before we can even _get_ to the cockpit, and two of them are biometric.”

“Biometric?” Rey asks, sitting up straighter. “What does that mean?”

“We’d need a retina scan and a handprint, both from Kylo Ren, along with an alphanumeric code. The code I may be able to crack, but the fingerprints and retina scan I can’t fake.”

“I’d be happy to bring you his hands and his head,” Rey mutters darkly.

The doctor laughs, and then looks thoughtful. “That would work, actually. As long as you brought me his head quickly after decapitation, to preserve the blood patterns in the irises.”

It’s Rey who laughs now. “I was kidding, but I’ll see what I can do. I’m afraid I have some bad news though, too. Kylo’s probably going to throw us in the dungeons once he finds us, and he probably won’t feed us for a few days.”

“Oh?” the doctor says. She puts her tools aside and comes to look at Rey. “Why’s that?”

Rey sighs. “Kylo says he’ll only feed me if I train with him.” Rey shrugs. “I’m used to surviving without much food, though, so I say we call his bluff, go hungry for a couple days, and then have the upper hand in negotiations.”

Doctor Noble looks suddenly stricken, and Rey reaches out a hand to comfort her. “I’m so sorry you got dragged into this, doctor. Kylo never should have forced you to come along.”

“He didn’t,” the doctor says. “I volunteered.”

“Wait what? Why?” 

The doctor sighs. “Do you remember when you came into the medbay with Finn and Alia, back on Starkiller Base?”

Rey grins, temporarily distracted. “You yelled at Alia for training me while I’m still injured.”

The doctor huffs. “I stand by that assessment, by the way. These hotheaded knights need to stop pushing you so hard. At any rate, I ran some tests after you were gone. Minutes before Kylo Ren showed up to take you away I got the results back and I found out - I found out that you’re pregnant.”

For the second time that day, Rey’s world comes to a halt.

“What?” Rey stammers as her mind goes blank. “How - ?”

The doctor gives her a _look_ , and Rey rolls her eyes. “I mean, I know how, I just don’t know _how._  You told me I was contra-chipped!”

“You are,” the doctor says calmly. “I gave you the contra-chip myself, when you first arrived on base. Unfortunately, those take a few weeks to work properly. I would have told you as much, but I didn’t expect you to start having sex the minute you came back from the brink of death.”

Rey covers her face and groans. “Shit,” she says. “Just - shit.”

Her first reaction is fear. On Jakku, to be pregnant is to be vulnerable. And she’s already more vulnerable here than she’s ever been. She's weak and injured, and facing a monster who thinks he's her brother - even as he mocks her for her brother's death. 

 _Kylo's mindgames are beyond belief,_  Rey thinks, with a shiver.  _I don't want to know what he'd do if he found out about this._

Rey second thought is of Finn. She reaches for her belly on instinct, and for a moment feels a sense of awe. Even here, in the most desolate corner of the galaxy, she’s still connected to Finn, in a way she never would have expected.

Then, the panic kicks in again. She can’t even defend _herself_ in this awful place, let alone anyone else.

“What do I do?” Rey whispers. Her voice is tiny and afraid. “What now?”

“Now, you have a choice. I don’t have to tell you that pregnancy is dangerous, and you’re already dealing with Kylo Ren. If you want to terminate the pregnancy and save your strength for whatever lies ahead, I’ll help you.”

Rey sucks in a breath. “And if I don’t?”

The doctor looks sad, but determined. “If you want to try to carry to term, I’ll do everything I can to support you. I packed in a hurry, but Starkiller Base has some of the best med-tech there is. If you want to carry and protect this child, I’ll do everything I can to help."

Rey gulps. Nods.

She closes her eyes and gives herself a moment to slide back into memory - back into Jakku.

In the desert, there are no pregnant scavengers. Hunger, thirst, and endless work didn’t leave you in any conditions to carry and nurture another life inside you. So, whether by choice or by the harsh reality of desert life, pregnant scavengers never stayed that way for long.

Here, though, ironically, in the grip of the enemy, Rey has everything she needs to carry a child, if she choses. She has a skilled doctor, steady accommodations, and all the food she can eat. Provided, that is, that she train with Kylo Ren.

“Rey?” the doctor asks, pulling Rey from her thoughts. “Why is your chest...blue?”

Rey’s confused, until she looks down to see her gemstone necklace is glowing softly against her chest. It’s the same lovely, bright blue as Finn’s soul.

Rey smiles for the first time in days. “It’s Finn. It means he’s thinking of me.”

And with that simple reminder, Rey feels a fierce, surprising joy, stemming from her love for Finn. She also feels an overwhelming new desire to _protect,_ above all else. Rey knows, suddenly and completely, that she would do anything for this child. For Finn’s child. It wasn't her first thought, or even her second, but it's the one that sticks.

Kylo’s words from the throne room come back to her, unbidden: _You'll do terrible things too, once you understand what love is._

Rey shakes her head and pushes Kylo’s words away, telling herself that this is different. That she won’t become a monster like him.

She hopes it isn’t a lie.

Rey takes a deep breath, and places one hand over her belly, and the other over her chest, where the kyber gemstone still glows aqua blue. Then, she faces the awful reality of the choice that she's about to make. 

She knows in her bones that she wants to keep this child. That she wants to try - against all odds - to protect the tiny life growing inside her. Which means that she needs food and medical care, as well as someone to help her to tame her own wild power before she accidentally hurts herself again. Which means -

Rey sighs, stands up, rubs her hands over her face. “I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I’m going to join Kylo kriffing Ren.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks all for sticking with this fic! Just three chapters left!
> 
> Love you all.


	29. That Binds a Life For Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To my dear, beloved readers: it’s been months since I updated, and a year since I started this wild, unexpected ride of a story. It started out as something much simpler, and grew into the 80k word plot monster that it is, all thanks to your comments and support. 
> 
> As of today, the story is complete! The last two chapters are in beta, and will be out soon. Thank you SO MUCH to all of you who have stayed with me on this wild ride! It has meant the world to me.
> 
> Also, big thanks to [conn8d](https://archiveofourown.org/users/conn8d/pseuds/conn8d) and [Classic_Vision](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Classic_Vision/pseuds/Classic_Vision) for the beta help!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  __  
>  **Previously on No Redemption:**  
>     
>  _Kylo: Kylo spent months preparing a place to train Rey, on Mustafar, in Darth Vader's old castle. Then, he came to collect Rey, planning to turn her into the perfect apprentice._
> 
>   _Rey: In order to protect Finn, Rey went to Mustafar with Kylo Ren. Now she’s trapped and alone with the man that she hates - who used to be the brother that she loved._
> 
> _Finn: Finn find found his birth parents - a royal family on a lush planet called Artorias. His mother, Princess Tana Galfridian, leads a satellite branch of the Resistance, and Finn’s just been invited to join._
> 
> _Alia: Snoke ordered Alia to kill someone she cared about, and Alia went to the Resistance instead. There, she made them a promise: she would help them take down Snoke, once and for all._
> 
> Alright. Let's go!

_Mustafar_

There’s a secret that only two people know: Breha Rey Organa, desert survivor and long lost princess, is pregnant. She’s also, unfortunately, trapped in the middle of nowhere with Kylo Ren.

Before Rey learned of her pregnancy - back when it was only her own life at stake - she was willing to do almost anything to stay alive.

Now, she’s willing do anything at all.

*

Rey’s plan is simple: stay alive, protect the life inside her, get back to Finn.

Unfortunately, she’s stuck on a deadly planet full of lava, and the only way out is Kylo Ren. So just hours after telling him to fuck off, she walks back into Vader’s old throne room. Her feet are made of lead, and she dreads every step. Still, her head is high and her voice is clear as she says, “I’ll be your apprentice.”

Kylo’s face twists into a smile. “I knew you would come to your senses. As you have spoken, so shall it be.” Kylo says the words with reverence, as if this were a sacred ritual. Maybe it is.

Invisible tendrils reach for Rey’s mind, like iron vines. It’s the beginnings of a Force bond between master and apprentice. Rey balls her hands into fists and grits her teeth until she can hold out no longer, and then she lets Kylo’s presence enter her mind.

It’s like falling, endlessly, through a cyclone.

Rey never shared a formal Force bond with either Alia or Finn, but she’d felt their presence in her mind before. Finn’s presence felt like water, soothing and grounding and full of life. It always calmed her sand-storm soul.

Alia’s mind had been fire, as bright and as fierce as her razor sharp smile. That fire never raged unchecked, though. The few times Rey experienced Alia’s mental fire it was focused. Targeted. In control.

It’s nothing like the chaos that surrounds Rey now.

Now, with Kylo’s conflicted presence running through her mind, Rey wants to cover her ears and scream. She can feel Kylo fighting against himself, every moment. The light is calling to him constantly, as clear as day, but Kylo shoves it away every time, choosing instead of drink from Snoke’s well of power. Choosing to murder and maim, all while fighting against what he knows, in his bones, to be right.

Rey lets out a sob of grief, as Kylo’s rage washes through her, gutting her. Then she remembers, in a panic, that he can sense her thoughts too, now.

Rey hurries to take all her most precious thoughts - of Finn, of his child inside her - and shoves them away underneath the stone vault in her mind. She covers that with sand and storms, and layers of every other elements she can imagine.

Kylo doesn’t comment, so Rey thinks her secrets are safe. For now.

The pain of Kylo’s presence recedes as Rey forces him from her mind, as much as she’s able. His presence still lingers in the back of her mind, a hurricane headache deep in her skull. But she can bear it. She has to. Because she has to survive. She has to get back to Finn. And she has to stop this monster, without becoming one.

*** * * * ***

_Resistance Satellite War Room - _Artorias__

There’s a secret only three people know: Snoke, the Supreme Leader of the galaxy, is human.

“The Supreme Leader is nothing but a parasite,” Alia Ren declares boldly, to a small crowd of shocked Resistance members, in the middle of the night in a hidden war room. “You all think that Snoke is the strongest man in the galaxy, but in reality, every bit of strength he has is stolen from others.”

“What is this foolishness?” someone shouts out, but Alia holds out a hand, and continues on, voice steady.

“Think about it. There are thousands of planets occupied by the First Order, and thousands more that obey him willingly. That’s not even counting the millions of troops he has at his command, and the massive weapon that is Starkiller Base.

“When I say that The Supreme Leader has access to a well of power, through the Force, I’m using that term literally. All that loyalty from all those people, in every corner of the galaxy? And a weapon of destruction that massive? It creates a literal basin of strength in the Force. And the Supreme Leader drinks from that well every day.”

The room falls into shocked silence. Finn’s mother, Princess Tana Galfridian, steps in.

“Now that we know the source of Snoke’s power, we can strike him where it hurts. We already have hundreds of uprisings in the works, on hundreds of occupied planets. There are billions of people just waiting to rise up and take back their planets from the First Order.

“We plan to synchronize those uprisings, to time them with a direct attack on Snoke, lead by my son.”

Tana nods to Finn, and Finn steps beside her. His voice is steady as he says to the room, “I know it sounds impossible, but we can do this. We have the will and the means to attack that bastard from every angle, draining his power as we do. We’ll bring him to his knees, and then we’ll cut off his head.”

The silence shatters, and everyone in the room seems to talk at once. Some are shocked, some are doubtful, but most of them voice _hope_. Hope that no one’s had in a very long time. Because if Snoke has a known power source, he can be cut off from it. If a thousand planets rise up at once, freeing themselves from First Order control, Snoke’s well of power would be drained.

By morning, everyone in this meeting will spread the word about Snoke’s weakness to the rest of the Resistance. By morning, thousands more people will know that the Supreme Leader of the galaxy is human. Mortal. Vulnerable.

They will know that the Resistance can win.

*

Finn and Alia’s plan is simple: recruit and train new Knights of Ren, ones that are loyal to Finn and Alia alone. Send those new Knights into occupied planets to spread the message that the Resistance is still going strong. Then, search for Luke Skywalker. Search for Rey.

And do it all without the Supreme Leader catching on.

The plan is simple, but it feels impossible. Finn and Alia do it anyway.

Alia stays undercover with Snoke, still working as his Hand. She continues his mission to locate Luke Skywalker, although this time, Snoke’s not the only one she’s feeding information to.

Finn seeks out Force sensitives, and trains them to lead the coming rebellions. Leadership fits him like a glove, and everyone reacts well to his teaching and advice.

He helps planetary leaders strategize, too. Finn was on the fast track to become a First Order officer, so he knows how Snoke and his army think. Alia knows how Snoke fights, so together they prepare others to rise up, when the time is right.

Meanwhile, Finn keeps eyes and ears out for word of Rey and Kylo, but there’s no news to be had. Finn’s kyberstone necklace lights up less and less often, no matter how many thoughts he sends Rey’s way. As time passes, Finn begins to fear the worst - that Rey is no longer herself. That she’s given in to Kylo, and become an entirely different kind of Knight.

But there’s nothing Finn can do about that yet. Not until the time comes to take action. So he trains, and works, and watches, and waits. And every day, every spare moment he has, Finn holds his kyberstone to his heart and prays for Rey.

*

_Three weeks later - Resistance Satellite War Room - Ilthor Prime_

“We need to talk about the dark side,” Alia says to Finn.

It's their third day on yet another occupied planet, and Finn’s been looking over battle plans for hours. He’s about to go cross eyed from strategizing for so long, so he welcomes the distraction.

Finn’s stomach gives a loud grumble, and he laughs. “Can we talk about it over lunch?” I just realized I've been working since dawn and I still haven't eaten.”

“Of course,” Alia says. “Lead the way.”

A few minutes later, Finn and Alia are in the palace kitchens, chopping vegetables side by side.

One of the many things that Finn’s done with his newfound freedom is taken up cooking. He likes having something to do with his hands - something besides fighting, that is - and cooking himself a meal is a tangible way to let him brain unwind. Cooking grounds him in the present moment, and has become a means of meditation, almost. A way to soothe himself, in the midst of this ever-changing galaxy.

Once they’ve chopped a colorful medley of vegetables, and Finn moves to light the stove and heat oil in a fry pan. They'll have a pair of delicious omelettes soon, if everything goes well.

“So,” Finn says. “What do I need to know about the dark side of the Force?”

He wary of the topic, but also curious. And he knows that he’ll need a full understanding of the Force if they’re going to face Snoke.

Alia hums a little, and starts twirling the chopping knife she was just using. She always seems to fidget and move, when she’s thinking.

“Think of the dark side like this kitchen knife. I just used it to chop vegetables, but I could also use it to slit a throat. Or defend an innocent. All the possibilities are there - nutrition, self defense, and murder.”

“I get it,” Finn says with a laugh. “It’s just a tool, right?”

Alia gives him a wide grin. “Right as always. And it’s not the tool that matters - it’s the choice.”

Finn thinks about the way he was raised, as a tool to be used by an organization of pure evil. Then he thinks, with pride, about his choice to leave. To become his own man, on his own terms.

“It’s the choice that matters,” Finn repeats, firmly. “So let’s learn how to use these tools.”

*** * * * ***

_Three weeks later - Mustafar_

Sometimes Rey forgets to hate Kylo Ren.

There are times when Kylo’s teaching her a new sparring technique, and Rey remembers him teaching her how to fight with sticks when they were children, a lifetime ago. Back when they were young, and hopeful, and free.

At times, Kylo acts like he genuinely cares for Rey. He feeds her and trains her, and many times his lessons are surprisingly useful. At times, he's patient and understanding as Rey struggles to make sense of new techniques. He's encouraging, even.

Other times, he treats her like dirt on his shoes. He berates and belittles her for the simplest of mistakes, and forces her to train and spar well past her limits. The emotional whiplash is exhausting. Still there are moments when Kylo, against all odds, is almost _kind._

He'd kept his word to Rey upon arrival on Mustafar, and she’s cared for immaculately. She has chambers more opulent than she could have imagined, armor and weapons finer than she's ever seen, and a beautiful wardrobe, all for her.

One day, a few weeks after their arrival on Mustafar, Kylo presents Rey with a workshop, complete with all the tools she needs to build her own lightsaber. For a moment, while she’s concentrating on building her new weapon, Rey almost forgets that she’s a prisoner.

Almost.

Kylo feeds her well too, looking genuinely concerned when he calls in the doctor to report on the status of Rey’s slowly healing leg. Kylo listens to the doctor’s suggestions of nutritional supplements for Rey, and follows her instructions to the letter.

This too, is confusing. Even as he berates her and pushes her far past her limits in training, Kylo insists that he genuinely cares for Rey. Sometimes, he even acts like it. At times, he treats her like the princess she is. Like the family she was. There are times, even, that Rey lets herself believe the lie that Kylo’s always telling her: that he only wants the best for her.

Now is not one of those times. Now, as Kylo looks at Rey, his eyes are glowing Sith-gold, and his smile is twisted and cruel.

“We need to talk about the dark side. Today I will show you what you're destined to become.”

Rey’s seated, meditating, but she looks up with a scowl at his words.

“Come.”

Rey’s instinct, as always, is to retort that she’s not an animal to be ordered around. But then she remembers, as always, that she’s already tried everything she could to escape this place. To escape this man, and all to no avail.

She follows Kylo Ren. He leads her to a room she’s never seen before. It’s small and surprisingly cozy, and filled with books.

Forgetting herself for a moment, Rey races to one of the walls that’s lined with _real books._ She runs her fingers over the spines carefully, reverently, reading the titles there. There’s volumes of Sith philosophy, some galactic history, and many that are simply unmarked. _Journals, maybe?_

“Rey! Focus!” Kylo snaps, and there it is again - that rage always simmering just beneath the surface, waiting for an excuse to come out. “Get back here. There’s something you need to see.”

Rey turns with a glare, irritated at the order, but breathes in a soft gasp when she sees what Kylo’s looking at: it’s a holo device, projecting a chaotic scene.

In the holo projection, Rey sees a group of screaming younglings run through a corridor, tripping over each other in their hurry. Then a man in dark robes with golden, glowing eyes appears. He stalks slowly after the younglings with determined strides.

The man is muttering a single word under his breath, like a mantra: “Padme, Padme, Padme.” He murmurs it over and over again, like a rhythm and a prayer.

The children turn a corner, out of sight, and the man follows them. Rey hears the echoing screams of the terrified younglings, and the hum of a lightsaber slicing through flesh. Then, all goes quiet and still. The holo projector clicks off.  

Rey wants to run and hide from the gruesome memory she's just seen, but she's morbidly curious, too.

“Who's Padme?” she whispers.

“Our grandmother,” Kylo responds. “She was pregnant at the time, and Darth Vader feared for her life. The wise Emperor Palpatine helped our grandfather transform that fear into rage, and then that rage, into action.

“What you've just seen here, Rey, was the glorious moment that Anakin Skywalker truly became Darth Vader. He sacrificed these children, to become who he was always meant to be. And you can become that powerful too. You _will._ It’s your birthright.”

Rey feels sick. What she just witnessed wasn't glorious; it was tragic. Sickening.

She's about to say as much when the thought hits her: Anakin did these terrible things because, in his mind, he was protecting those he loved. It’s possible that he _truly believed_ he was saving the love of his life, and his unborn child.

 _Am I any different?_ Rey wonders, with a sinking feeling of dread. _I willingly abandoned Finn, thinking I was saving his life. I put myself at Kylo Ren’s mercy. And now I'm playing along with these sick games, all in the name of love._

Rey’s not sure if she's Anakin, or Padme in this situation. The villain, or the victim. Still, she grits her teeth and determines, above all, not to become Vader.

*

_Three months later - Mustafar_

After yet another grueling day of training, Rey dreams of Finn.

_In Rey’s dream, Finn comes back for her. Against all odds, he tracks her to Mustafar, and makes it through the Force shields that keep Rey and Kylo separate from the rest of the galaxy._

_In the dream, Finn finds his way back to Rey - and then Rey stabs him in the heart. Dream Rey gives Finn the same sinister smile that Kylo always gives her, twisting her saber in Finn’s chest as he dies. Then dream Kylo is there beside her, lavishing her with praise._

Rey screams herself awake.

She’s alone in the quarters Kylo keeps her in - alone in silent dark.

 _A nightmare,_ Rey tells herself, shaking. _Just a nightmare._

But it’s not just a nightmare; it’s Rey’s greatest fear.

Rey’s losing pieces of herself every day as she trains with Kylo Ren, as if his lessons were chipping away at her soul. She’s scared that one day, he’ll will chip the last piece away. She’s terrified that one day she’ll wake up, and not even remember what it means to love.

“Impossible,” says a voice, from somewhere in the dark. “You may do terrible things for love, as I did, but you will never forget what love is.”

Rey jumps to her feet, heart racing. She summons her new double-bladed saberstaff and ignites it on instinct.

“Who’s there?” Rey calls, voice hard.

“Just an old man in the dark,” the voice says. Soft, amused.

Rey doesn’t relax. She keeps scanning her luxurious quarters until she sees it - a dull blue glow in one corner. A blue glow that’s growing in size as it moves toward her. As it approaches, Rey opens her mouth in surprise, because she recognizes the ghostly figure - it’s the same blue ghost that protected her during her nightmare back on Starkiller Base.

 _It feels like that was a lifetime ago,_ Rey thinks.

“It does, doesn’t it?” the ghost says.

Rey scowls. “It’s rude to read people’s thoughts without permission, you know.”

The ghost’s lips quirk. “Forgive me. I’ve never been good at formalities.”

“Neither have I,” Rey says, and it sounds like a snarl. “Who are you, and why are you here?”

“I’m Anakin,” the ghost says simply. “Or I was, once. And I still am, on good days.”

Rey’s eyes widen, but she doesn’t loosen her grip on her saber. “You’re - you’re my grandfather. Darth Vader.”

The ghost’s face falls. “In my worst moments, yes. I am. But I try to be Anakin, as often as possible.”

Rey gapes, trying to take it all in. “Does Kylo know you’re here?”

“Of course,” the ghost says softly. “He’s the reason I’m here. Every day I try to reason with him. And every day he ignores me. He has for years.”

“That’s awful,” Rey says softly. “So why are you here now? In the middle of the night, with me?”

“To help, if I can,” he says. “Your pain summoned me. I know that it’s far too little, far too late, but if there’s anything I can do to help you now, I will.”

Rey realizes she’s still gripping her saber staff tightly, and she extinguishes the blade.

“Can you help me kill Kylo? Or get me off this planet? Or find me a commlink, so I can let someone know where I am?”

Anakin shakes his head sadly. “I am spirit now, not matter. And I’m not strong enough to influence the physical realm, or travel far from this place.”

Rey sighs. “Will you - will you just keep me company, then? I don’t want to go back to sleep yet, after the dream I just had.”

Anakin nods. He approaches Rey slowly and hovers awkwardly, a few feet from her bed. “You’re afraid,” he says gently, studying her.

Rey nods, then bites the inside of her cheek, thinking. After a long moment of awkward silence she says, “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“You said that in some moments you’re Anakin, and other times you feel like Darth Vader. What makes the difference?”

Anakin blinks at her, as if the answer should be obvious.

“Choice.”

Rey whispers, “Have I already made my choice? Have I damned myself by tying myself to Kylo Ren?” It’s her deepest fear, but never one she’s spoken aloud.

Anakin’s face softens. “No, child. You made one choice, yes. But there are many more yet to be made. You always have a choice, right up until the moment you die. And a single choice can change everything. Never forget that.”

Rey shivers, but nods. She opens her mouth to ask something else, but the ghost of her grandfather is beginning to shimmer and fade away.

“Wait!” Rey says. “Don’t leave yet!”

“I don’t have the energy to stay for long. I’m sorry, Rey. I’ll come back when I can.”

“Wait!” Rey says again.

The ghost continues to fade, until all Rey can see is his mouth and eyes. The corners crinkle up into a smile as he says, “It’s a girl.”

Then he’s gone, and Rey’s alone in the darkness once more.

*

The next morning, Rey makes a choice. She decides to do whatever it takes - no matter how horrible - to get off this burning planet and away from Kylo Ren, before she loses any more pieces of herself.

Then Rey tells Kylo Ren the only thing that will convince him to take her off world. She tells him that she’s ready to meet Snoke.

*

Rey realizes her mistake as soon as they break atmo.

She and Kylo had been Force shielded on Mustafar - cut off from everyone, including the Supreme Leader. Now, back in the larger galaxy, Rey can feel Snoke’s presence oozing through Kylo Ren’s mind. Then, into hers.

 _Ah, my precious child_ , Snoke hisses into Rey’s mind. _At last._

Snoke words are smoke and acid, invading Rey’s mind and clouding her soul. And he doesn’t stop there.

_I have waited for you, for years, little one. Waited while the harsh conditions of Jakku shaped you into the perfect desert flower, ready to be plucked and sharpened into a sword. Is Kylo finally ready to show off his work? The apprentice that he’s refined, just for me?_

Rey shakes her head fiercely, even though she knows it won’t do any good. She tries to clamp her mental walls shut, with every ounce of strength she has, but it doesn’t do anything at all.

Snoke only laughs. _It’s adorable that you think you can resist me,_ he hisses, and his voice echoes hatefully through her head. _I look forward to breaking you of that notion._

Snoke’s presence retreats, then, until he’s just a toxic fog, hanging around the edges of Rey’s awareness, tinting everything in poisonous acid green. His harsh laughter still rings through Rey’s head, grating like teeth on tinfoil, but Rey shuts him out the best she can. She grips the stone around her neck - a reflex, by now - and sends out an urgent prayer to the Force.

 _Please,_ Rey prays. _Whoever is listening, please help me. I thought I was strong enough to face the Supreme Leader alone, but I was wrong. I need a way to find Finn. I -_

“Rey! Pay attention!” Kylo barks, startling Rey out of her prayer. “Snoke has a mission for us, and we’re about to jump to lightspeed. Strap in!”

Rey drops her hand from her kyber stone, which is now glowing warm against her chest. _Please hear me,_ Rey thinks, one more time. _I can’t do this alone._ Then Rey tightens her safety belt and closes her eyes. She feels her stomach drop as they enter light speed, and again when they drop out, into normal space again.  

When Rey opens her eyes, she sees that they’re above an intimately familiar planet. A planet covered with sand and desert storms, run by a cruel man named who starves children for profit.

Rey almost wants to laugh at the irony of it all. Almost.

 _I prayed for a miracle,_ she thinks, _and the universe sent me Jakku._

What she doesn’t know is that the best pilot in the Resistance is already there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright I got real into the lore behind Snoke ~~mostly bc Rian didn't and I'm still salty about that~~ , but not all of it fit in the chapter, pacing wise. So if you want to read more about where Snoke gets his power from, hit "next work" and check out chapter 2.
> 
> Also, if you feel like reading more in the meantime, [this short tie-in scene, featuring Ahsoka Tano](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12672033) is gonna be real relevant real soon.
> 
> [Chapter art](https://the-bi-writer.tumblr.com/post/174927443020/there-is-no-redemption-here-chapter-29-that#)
> 
> Ya'll mean so much to me. Seriously. Thanks to everyone for your sincere encouragement and thoughtful comments. They've helped me grow so much as a writer. 
> 
> Alright! Next up: "Linchpin" (aka time for TFA!)


	30. Linchpin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I prayed for a miracle,_ Rey thinks, with a bitter laugh, _and the universe sent me Jakku._
> 
> What she doesn’t know is that the best pilot in the Resistance is already there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, the last chapter will be out next week, June 29th, to celebrate Finnrey Friday's 2 year anniversary!
> 
> A big thanks to my betas, [classic-vision](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Classic_Vision/pseuds/Classic_Vision) and [conn8d](https://archiveofourown.org/users/conn8d/pseuds/conn8d)
> 
> Also, if you don't know who Ahsoka is, or what a Togruta is, [here's a pic.](https://nerdist.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Ahsoka-Featured-07072017.jpg)
> 
> Chapter warnings: violence, threats, mental torture, cliffhanger ending, Kylo Ren. (This is the start of TFA, so you know roughly what to expect.)

The day that changes everything starts out like any other. Finn rises early to meditate, and as the sun rises, he opens himself to the Force. The Force feels different today, like the wind before a storm. A little sharper. A little more urgent. Finn senses that the Force is trying to tell him something - a clue, or a warning, maybe. But he can’t quite make it out.

Alia wakes and joins him, and Finn’s about to ask her if she feels it too, when they’re interrupted by a frantic comm from Paige Tico.

“My family’s in danger,” Paige says without preamble. “I need to get to Starkiller Base, and it needs to be _now.”_

“Hey, it’s okay,” Alia says soothingly, and Finn nearly blushes from the intimacy in Alia’s tone. “It’s okay babe. I’ll be right there to pick you up, and we’ll go together. We’ll sort it out.”

“Thank the Force,” Paige says. “I’ll see you soon.”

The commlink goes quiet, and Alia immediately bursts into motion, securing her weapons belt and striding toward her shuttle.

Finn feels a strange tugging on his heart, as if he needs to go to. He has no idea why, and he certainly doesn’t _want_ to return to his childhood prison. But he has the strangest feeling that going there, right now, is the most important thing in the galaxy.

Finn jogs after Alia, calling out, “Wait! I’m coming too.”

Alia gives him a surprised look, like she wants to argue, but she doesn’t.

Over the last months of working side by side, Finn and Alia have become partners, instead of teacher and student. It happened slowly, and then all at once, this new dynamic that has evolved between them. But they’re equals now, which means that if Finn wants to come to Starkiller Base, Alia’s not going to question his judgement.

They walk side by side to Alia’s sleek black shuttle, and take off as soon as the engine is warm.

*** * * * ***

_Jakku_

Rey’s stomach turns to lead as they descend to Jakku. This was the last place she ever wanted to return. Still, she’s relieved to be somewhere - _anywhere -_ but that awful castle that kept her trapped for so long. She's also relieved to have a reprieve before she meets the Supreme Leader in the flesh. It just might give her time to make a plan.

“So what are we doing here?” Rey asks, cautiously.

“An errand for the Supreme Leader,” Kylo says. “A test, before you meet him.”   

“What’s the test?” Rey asks, fighting to keep her voice even and calm.

“There’s an old man of great interest to the Supreme Leader, named Lor San Tekka. Have you heard of him?”

Rey worries at her lip. “He’s a priest, right? In one of the villages outside Niima?”

“Very good,” Kylo says, voice silk. “As you know, Luke Skywalker is of great interest to the Supreme Leader, and this man - Lor San Tekka - may have information on his whereabouts. A piece of a map, perhaps.”

“And if he does?” Rey asks.

“If he does, then we extract the information, and kill him quickly,” Kylo says, casually. “A courtesy for being of use to the First Order.”

“And if he doesn’t?” Rey asks, throat dry.

Kylo’s not wearing his helmet, so Rey can see the relish plainly on his face. “Then he’s of no use to the Supreme Leader, and you and I get flay him alive.”

Rey manages not to shiver, but only barely.

They’ve broken atmo now and are ready to land, with a transport of stormtroopers just behind them. It’s strange to see Jakku like this - at night and from above.

They land, sand billowing out all around them, and exit the shuttle - into chaos. Shots ring out from all sides, and the bodies of stormtroopers and villagers already litter the ground. The First Order transport touches down behind them, and more ‘troopers pour out, joining the wild fight.

Rey freezes, horrified by the sight in front of her. An entire village is burning, and screams ring out into the desert night. The villagers are escaping their burning houses and being mowed down by the First Order’s troops.

Rey fights the urge to be sick. She fights to stay on task, and pass this test, so that she can face what’s coming next. Rey scans the burning village and spots Lor San Tekka in the frey, fighting to protect his burning village.

“There he is,” Kylo says beside her. Kylo’s helmet is on now, for the first time in months. His modulated voice fills Rey with hatred and ice, which is exactly what she’ll need to get through this. Rey wraps that ice around her heart and is ready when Kylo barks out his command: “Bring him to me.”

Rey reaches out a gloved hand, like they’d been practicing for months. She plucks the old man from the fray, lifting him through the air like he weighs no more than a feather. She pulls him through the air and deposits him roughly at Kylo’s feet.

“Search him,” Kylo says.

Rey reaches down with her hands to search the old man’s robes for any trace of a map, and Kylo laughs harshly.

“Search his _mind_ , stupid girl.”

_Oh. Right._

Rey’s been practicing this too, and it comes easily now. She holds out a hand and combs through the man’s mind, hoping that she’ll find something easy to decipher, so she won't have to force her way in.

She doesn't.

Lor San Tekka’s mental defenses are good, but after training with Kylo Ren, Rey’s better. She works her way past every mental wall he throws at her, and makes her way to the information Kylo wants. Then she pulls back from the man’s mind, gasping in pain.

 _Is it always like that?_ Rey asks Kylo through their bond, a habit by now. _Can you always feel the pain that you cause, mirrored back at you?_

 _Every time,_ Kylo sends. He sounds positively _gleeful_ about it, and it makes Rey sick.

“The map’s on a small data drive,” Rey says, voice steady, once she regains her composure. “San Tekka had it until recently, when it gave it to a Resistance pilot. That’s all he knows."

It's the truth, and it's enough information to grant the old man a quick death. Rey hopes.

Kylo ignites his red saber and drives it through the Lor San Tekka’s chest in one fluid motion. Rey can feel the aching, echoing, mental pain she caused him, as he writhes slowly on the ground, fading toward death.

Then, he stops moving, and she can feel nothing at all.

Rey gulps, and forces herself to tear her eyes away from the old man’s still form. Perhaps she shouldn’t have left Mustafar after all.

*** * * * ***

_Starkiller Base - Orbit_

“So what are we doing here again?” Finn asks Paige as they wait for clearance to land.

“Extracting my family,” Paige says at once. “They’ve been here for months, working together to sabotage Starkiller’s firing mechanisms. If they were successful, Starkiller should implode the first time its fired.”

Silence. Finn and Alia stare at Paige for a solid minute, mouths open and eyes wide.

Then Finn says, “Holy shit.”

Alia raises an eyebrow and says, “You sneaky little minx. So that’s why you always hand delivered my merchandise to base? I thought it was for the pleasure of my company.” She gives Paige a sly smile and a wink.

Paige’s cheeks color. “I was there to see you, yes, but also to smuggle my team onto Starkiller Base. My little sister’s a brilliant mechanic, and she fits into my cargo crates. So I snuck her and my mothers onto base, along with your supplies.”

Alia does something Finn's never seen her do before: she bursts out laughing. “I should be mad, but I’m honestly just impressed. You’re the first person in a long time who’s managed to get something past me.”

Once Alia's laughter dies down, they descend into somber silence again. Then Finn asks the obvious question: “If you've been working on this for months, why the rush to get them out today?”

Paige grimaces. “Because new intel says that Starkiller’s going to fire tonight.”

Silence again.

Finn says. “Do you know when?”

Paige shakes her head. Her mouth is a thin drawn line, and her hands are shaking. “My family - they’re everything to me,” she whispers. “I don’t know what I’d do without them.”

Finn doesn't even hesitate. “Then let’s get them to safety as soon as possible.”

A voice on the ship’s comm finally gives them permission to land, and then they’re descending toward the ticking time bomb that is Starkiller Base. 

*** * * * ***

_Jakku_

On Jakku, Rey stands by Kylo’s side, surveying the village as it continues to burn.

Against trained soldiers, the villagers never really had a chance, so it’s a slaughter. Rey _feels_ the glee coming off the stormtroopers as they mow down villagers with every shot, and she wonders, briefly, what Finn would have done if he had still been one of them. Then Rey wonders what Finn would do if he were _her._ And that thought gives her just enough courage to start making a plan.

Another man is brought before Rey and Kylo, and thrown at their feet by two stormtroopers. The man is handsome and young, and - Rey notices at once - wearing a Resistance jacket with pilot’s wings.

Kylo commands the ‘troopers to search the pilot’s body, and then commands Rey to search his mind.

Rey reaches out a shaking hand. She closes her eyes and screws up her face in mock-concentration, as if she were using the Force to read the man's thoughts. In reality, she doesn’t even try to enter his mind. Instead, she puts together a plan. It’s risky, and she knows it, but if she can pull it off, she just might save this man’s life - and her own.

After a long moment, Rey opens her eyes and channels her inner Alia. She says smoothly, “He knows something, but his defenses are tedious. It would take time to break through them all, and that mundane work is beneath us. Don’t you think, brother?”

“Oh?” Kylo says, and he sounds amused. “And what should we do with him, then?”

Rey shrugs, as if she doesn’t care, but her mind is spinning. “Send him to Alia. She’s the one who should be running these inane, dead-end errands for Snoke. You and I have more important things to do.”

Kylo laughs. “Well said. Let Alia deal with this Resistance filth. He's not worth our precious time.” Kylo turns to the troopers. “Take him to Starkiller Base, and tell Alia to find out what he knows.”

Rey lets out a breath of relief, and hopes it doesn’t show on her face. Where Alia is, Finn is also likely to be. Which means that, if all goes well, she just saved this man’s life. It also means that she can finally get a message to Finn.

“Well done, my apprentice,” Kylo says, and pride radiates through their bond. “Now, come. Let’s prepare you to meet the Supreme Leader.” Kylo turns heel toward his ship, striding quickly away.

Rey knows that if she’s going to act, it’s now or never. She leans down to the pilot and whispers quickly, “My name is Breha Rey Organa, and I need you to deliver a message for me. Will you do that?”

The pilot's eyes widen in recognition, and he nods.

“Good,” Rey says. “There’s a man on Starkiller Base named Finn Ren. Find him, and he’ll help you. Tell him that Rey’s alive, and that I love him, and that I’m still myself. And tell him - “ Rey gulps, because this is the part of her plan that could go very, very wrong. “Tell him and Alia to meet me at Snoke’s temple as soon as they can.”

Rey takes a deep breath. “Will you give him my message?”

The pilot nods. He opens his mouth to ask something, but Rey’s already standing and hurrying away, trying to keep pace with Kylo Ren.

She prays to the Force that her new plan will work.

*** * * * ***

_Starkiller Base_

On Starkiller Base, Finn and Paige move quickly.

Finn knows the base better than either of them, so he meets Paige’s family at the rendezvous point: the uniform supply closet. He wears his Knight’s robes, identical to Alia's, so any cameras should mistake him for her.

Paige, meanwhile, sneaks off like a shadow to dismantle the recording equipment to the hangar bay, and to take down the planet’s shields for another few minutes so they can make their escape. Alia stays on board, keeping the engines hot.

The plan works surprisingly well. No one questions Finn in the halls, or even looks at him. No one wants to draw the attention of a Knight of Ren. Finn reaches the uniform storage closet easily and slips inside. Then he waits until Paige’s family arrive - two mothers and a sister - and then helps them dress in stormtrooper uniforms so they can all make their escape.

One of Paige’s mothers, Ahsoka, is a Togruta woman. She can’t wear a stormtrooper’s helmet because of the two long montrails that grow from her head. Finn gives Ahsoka Alia’s cloak instead, and takes a stormtrooper outfit for himself.

‘Are we good?’ Finn types into his commlink, to Paige. ‘Are the hangar bay cameras down?’

‘Yes,’ Paige sends. ‘And Alia’s keeping the engine hot, so get here as soon as you can. I don’t know what time Starkiller is set to fire, but we don’t want to be here when it does.’

‘No kidding,’ Finn responds. ‘We’ll be right there.’

The four of them exit the closet and with Ahsoka in the lead, which means they appear to be three ordinary stormtroopers, following after a Knight of Ren. Once again, their disguises work. No one questions them in the halls, and they all move quickly back toward the ship.

They’re almost at the doors to the hangar bay when Finn feels it - a sharp, sudden wave of pain that resonates like a clear bell, ringing through the living Force. Finn stops and sucks in a breath. Their little group is close to the Knight’s hangar bay, just steps away from freedom.

Logically, they _should_ keep going, and ignore the screams of a stranger, somewhere on this time bomb of a planet. But Finn can feel the person’s pain, and, what’s more, he can feel the person underneath. Whoever it is radiates courage, and strength, and hope. Finn knows at once that _this_ is why the Force brought him to Starkiller Base today. Whoever this is, deserves to be saved.

Finn taps the access code to the Knight’s hangar bay, and ushers Paige’s family inside.

“Go without me,” Finn says firmly. “I’ll find another way.”

Before they can protest, he shuts them in, sealing the door behind them, and makes off in the direction of the waves of pain flowing through the Force. He can hear Paige swearing at him through his commlink, and Alia swearing at him in his head.

“Finn!” Paige is saying. “We have to go. Now!”

 _Do_ not _play the hero right now, Finn_ , Alia’s saying. _I’ve lost too much already, and I don’t plan on losing you too._

Finn shakes his head, though neither of them can see it. _Leave without me, if you have to. I’ll find another ship. I don’t know why, but I have to do this. I think it’s why the Force lead me to Starkiller Base._

In his head, he feels Alia sigh. _We’re not leaving without you, Finn. Just hurry. Please._

Finn does. He does everything short of sprinting down the hallways, following the bright ribbon of pain that’s running through the Force, guiding him to his target. The ribbon takes him to a part of the base he’s never seen before, and then, to an unmarked cell door.

Finn bursts through the door to see a man - handsome, young - strapped to some sort of torture chair, and being punched by various guards.

“Get out,” Finn barks, and even though he’s only in a stormtrooper’s uniform, just like them, they don’t even question it. They scurry away at the anger and authority in his voice.

Finn bends down to remove the prisoner’s restraints, and holds out a hand. The man pulls back.

 _Oh right. The armor,_ Finn thinks. _He must think I’m with the First Order._

Just like when he first met Rey, Finn removes his stormtrooper helmet, and softens his face. He says, as gently as he can, “My name is Finn Ren, and this is a rescue.”

*

_Starkiller Base - Poe_

“My name is Finn Ren, and this is a rescue.”

 _Finn_? Poe tries to remember why he knows that name, but his thoughts are fuzzy. “She loves you,” Poe mumbles, trying to remember the message he promised to deliver. “And you’re supposed to go to the temple.”

“What? Who -” Finn asks, brow furrowed. Then, “Never mind. This planet may be collapsing, and we have to go. Now.”

As if on cue, the room around them begins to shake, like an earthquake is rocking them from below. Poe looks at the open sincerity on the man’s face, and the kindness in his eyes. He takes the man's outstretched hand.

“Let's go,” Finn says, and Poe follows.

Poe's a little unsteady on his feet, but he matches pace with Finn as they sprint together down mostly empty corridors. The halls rumble again, and the earthquake is back - this time with a vengeance. Finn and Poe are thrown off their feet as the planet lurches.

“Shit,” Finn says. “We're running out of time.” He pushes a button and speaks into a commlink. “Paige? We're almost there. Are the engines still hot?”

“They are,” a voice says through the commlink, and Poe raises an eyebrow, because he _knows_ that voice. He grew up alongside Paige and her sister Rose. “We're ready to leave as soon as you get here. So hurry.”

The hallway lurches again, but Finn and Poe keep their feet this time. There's a whining roar in the air now, like a giant engine starting up. _Or a weapon getting ready to fire_ , Poe thinks, as the pieces start to fall into place. He already knew that Paige and her team were working to sabotage Starkiller Base before it ever had a chance to fire. If Paige is here, now, she must be extracting her team. Which means -

“This planet’s about to blow!” Poe shouts over the noise.

“I know,” Finn shouts back, still running at full sprint. “I have a way out. We just gotta get there in time.”

They turn a corner in the hallway and suddenly Poe sees it - a hangar bay.

“There's our ride,” Finn shouts over the ever increasing rumbling that sounds like it's coming from the planet’s core. Finn points to a sleek black shuttle and Poe's heart leaps with hope. Then the planet lurches again, and the ceiling in front of them collapses. Suddenly the hallway between them and freedom is filled with durasteel beams and metallic debris that came from above, blocking their path to freedom.

Poe skids to a halt but Finn doesn't even hesitate. He thrusts out a hand, and the rubble and debris spring aside, out of their way, as if he had just parted the red sea.

“Come on,” Finn says, and Poe does. They run side by side the rest of the way to the ship, and scramble on board together. Then the loading doors are shut and they're taking off, away from the planet that’s still bucking like an angry rathar, preparing to either fire on billions of innocent people - or implode.

*

_Alia Ren’s shuttle - neutral space_

Once they’re safely in orbit, there are reunions all around. Paige is hugging her family, and tears are streaming. They’re all talking over each other at once, excited and laughing and crying, and it’s sweet and lovely at the same time.

Then Paige comes to see Poe, and ruffles his hair affectionately. “Hey Dameron,” Paige says with a grin. “Good to see ya. You okay?”

Poe grins, and then grimaces. “I’ve been better, but I’m alive, thanks to you and your crew.” Poe turns to Finn, who’s sitting beside him on the bench, rummaging through the medkit. 

Poe puts a hand on Finn's shoulder. “Thank you, buddy. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

Before Finn can say, "You're welcome," Paige says, “Turned to ash, probably,” and Poe laughs.

“I missed you, too, kiddo,” Poe says, and Paige beams.

Obviously, Poe and Paige have known each other a long time, and as Finn observes their casual teasing, he aches for that kind of friendship. It makes him miss Rey more than ever.

Finn shakes off the thought and focuses instead on the task at hand. He finds the bacta he was looking for, and quickly cleans and treats Poe’s wounds. Thankfully they’re only surface injuries, but even still, Poe looks exhausted. 

“Do you want to rest?” Finn asks. “There’s a bed through there.” He stands to show Poe to the sleeping quarters, but Poe reaches out an arm to stop him.

“I just remembered, I have a message for you,” Poe says, urgent. “From someone named Rey.”

Finn’s eyes go wide and his heart goes wild. He flicks the thought at Alia and she joins them a moment later, looking curious.

“You've seen Rey?” Finn asks, nerves jangling. “How did she look?”

Poe runs his hand over the back of his head, blowing out a breath. “I’m not sure how to answer that,” Poe says, sounding apologetic. “She tortured an old man right in front of me, then Kylo killed him. He was a priest, too. Kylo murdered him, and Rey didn’t stop him. She just stood there, watching an entire peaceful village burn.”

“Force,” says Finn, softly. He doesn’t want to admit it, even to himself, but the fact that Rey disappeared for months, only to reappear at Kylo Ren’s side, doesn’t bode well.

“But then she saved my life,” Poe says softly. “Kylo ordered her to torture me too, but she didn’t. Rey lied to _Kylo Ren_ to save my life, and then she sent me here, with a message for you. She said that you’d help me, so I think there’s still hope.”

Finn’s head spins. He had dreamed of his reunion with Rey every night - what he would say, the way she would feel back in his arms again. He’s dreamed of the look on Rey’s face when she reunites with her parents for the first time, and the joy he’d feel in his heart when he introduced her to his.

He’d had never dreamed she’d be torturing priests while villages burn, and sending him prisoners of war like a sick gift.

“What was the message?” Finn asks at last. He’s wary, and weary, but he needs to know.

Poe answers at once. “She said to tell you that she's still herself, and that she loves you. She's on her way to Snoke’s temple, and she wants you and Alia to meet her there.”

More emotions cascade over Finn. He feels a bright, searing hope that Rey still loves him, and then a deep, suffocating fear that she’s chosen to follow in Darth Vader’s footsteps, like her brother before her.

 _Is she still Rey?_ Finn wonders. _Is she still that vibrant, fierce, hopeful girl I fell in love with, all those months ago?_

More than anything, Finn wants Poe’s words to be true. He wants to believe Rey’s message - that she’s still herself, no matter what it looks like. That she still loves him. But the strategist in him says to question everything. To think with his head, and not with his heart.

The problem is, Finn's head is a jumble of hope and heartbreak, and he can’t sort out which of his thoughts to trust. So he opens his mind to Alia, and lets her sift through his hopes and fears.

Alia’s thoughts skim across his, quick and cool as breath over water. Then she pulls back.

“It could be a trap,” Alia murmurs, speaking Finn’s fears aloud.

“Or it could be the key to victory,” Finn counters. Dangerous hope is still blooming in his chest.

Alia eyes Finn thoughtfully. “Possibly. If Rey’s leading us to Snoke’s temple with the intention of turning on Kylo and Snoke, the three of us have a shot at killing that old fool, once and for all.”

“And if that’s not her plan?” Finn asks, dreading the answer.

Alia Ren is never soft, but in this moment she gives Finn a look of true sympathy. “Then we’ll be forced to take Rey out, along with Kylo and Snoke. Are you prepared to do that, Finn? I need to know that you are. Everything depends on it.”

Finn tightens his jaw and ignores the pain coursing through him at the thought of losing Rey. At the thought of possibly _killing_ Rey. But he knows that billions of lives are at stake. He knows that his duty, above all, is to protect the innocent. If Rey truly has turned, if she’s truly joined Kylo and abandoned who she used to be -

“I’ll do what needs to be done,” Finn says, and swallows the bile that rises in his throat.

Alia casts him one last sympathetic look before hardening her face as well. “Good. Then it’s time to move.”

*** * * * ***

_The Supreme Leader’s Temple_

Two star systems away, Rey follows the ghost of her brother into the Supreme Leader’s temple.

She’d imagined this moment a thousand times, but even her worst nightmares hadn’t prepared her for this. The Supreme Leader’s presence fills the echoing temple - and her mind - with what feels like toxic, acidic slime.

Rey coughs, feeling like she’s choking even though it’s not the air she’s reacting to - it’s the thick cloud of oozing fog that’s running through her mind, tearing down her defenses, and looking through her most intimate thoughts.

“What’s taking so long?” Kylo Ren snaps, turning back around.

It’s only then that Rey realizes she stopped walking and is doubled over, clutching a wall for balance. Her _mind_ feels like it wants to vomit, to rid Snoke’s foul presence from her head.  _Why did I let this happen?_ Rey thinks wildly. _I thought that I could resist them until Finn gets here. How could I have been so foolish?_

Rey pushes back against the assault on her brain, using the mental defenses that Finn and Alia taught her, months ago, but it isn’t enough. One by one her memories are laid bare, and she doubles over, gasping with the pain of it.

Kylo stomps back to her, boots heavy on the bare stone floor. He touches Rey’s face with a surprisingly gentle finger and Rey looks up, too tired and weak to fight off both him and Snoke. She grits her teeth and opens her eyes. Kylo’s looking down at her with something that looks like genuine concern. And, strangely, pride.

“You’ll get used to him,” Kylo murmurs. “I know the Supreme Leader’s presence is - overwhelming at first, but over time you’ll learn to give in. You’ll come to crave it, as I have.”

Rey’s stomach twists at the thought. But she’s made her choice now. She made her choice months ago, when she joined Kylo for the sake of the child she carries. She was willing to give away parts of herself, if it meant that she could keep her child whole.

“I’m proud of you,” Kylo murmurs, caressing Rey’s cheek. He offers her a gloved hand and she takes it, knowing what will come next. What must come next.

Kylo leads her to Snoke, like a bantha to the slaughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up: Brother's Keeper (In which everything comes to a head, and, finally, an end.)
> 
> *
> 
> Fun fact: Alia Ren was originally supposed to be as Ashoka Tano in disguise, and she was only supposed to have a small role. That quickly changed as the story grew, but I kept Ahsoka's signature fighting style - dual lightsabers. That's why Alia always fights with two lightsabers (although hers are red instead of white.) 
> 
> Even though Alia became her own character with her own story, I wanted to pay tribute to Ahsoka as well. It was fun to give her a cameo in this chapter, and she shows up one other time as well: in chapter 10, where a hooded alien shows up in the medbay, and unlocks Rey's memories through dreams.
> 
> * 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Sorry for the cliffhanger on this one!


	31. Brother's Keeper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alliances have been chosen, and bonds have been forged.
> 
> Now, it all comes down to this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the final fight! This chapter is unironically dedicated to Rian Johnson, for doing such a lazy job of writing Snoke that I got inspired to create a whole new aesthetic and backstory for the character. 
> 
> This story was conceived long before TLJ, so there is no TLJ here. In TFA, we only saw Snoke through a hologram, and holos can be faked, so welcome to an alternative version of Snoke, free of bathrobes and lobster guards.
> 
> This chapter was cathartic to write, and I hope it is for you too. 
> 
> Thank you so much for sticking with this fic, and welcome to the end!
> 
> Chapter warnings: graphic violence, body horror, descriptions of past abuse, major character death. Also, angst.

_The Supreme Leader’s Temple_

Rey had always known it would come to this. From the moment she joined Kylo, she’d known it would all end here: in Snoke’s temple, in front of his throne, kneeling side by side with Kylo Ren.

Snoke’s seated high above their heads atop a towering, cylindrical dais - twice as tall as Kylo, at least. Stairs inlaid with ornate blue tile wind around the dais, leading around and up to Snoke’s golden throne.

Snoke says, “Rise, my children, and come to me.” The hiss of his voice fills the temple, echoing off the bare stone walls. It makes Rey shudder, and her feet freeze with fear.

Kylo tries to push Rey forward, but she’s stronger than she used to be, and she's used to resisting him now. She doesn’t move.

After a long moment, Snoke says, in a voice that could almost be called gentle, “Come, child. You have nothing to fear from me.”

Rey is fairly certain that she has _everything_ to fear from him, but she’s also certain that she’s chosen her path. All that’s left to do is to see it through til the end. Rey walks up the winding steps, toward the Supreme Leader himself.  

“Good,” Snoke murmurs, once Rey reaches the top. “Come closer, my dear. Let me look at you.”

Everything in Rey is telling her to _run,_ but she ignores every screaming instinct and obeys. She takes a step toward Snoke, still seated on his grand golden throne.

This close, Rey sees that Snoke’s throne is carved in the shape of flames, curling up toward the ceiling over Snoke’s head. Rey notices too that the gleaming gold of the throne is the exact same shade as Kylo’s eyes when he uses the dark side. It’s the same shade Rey has seen in her own eyes, too, too often over the last three months. And it’s the exact same color staring back at her now.

Snoke is nothing like Rey expected. Rey had always pictured him as a wizened old man, small and shriveled. But no. The man in front of her is tall and lean with pale, spindly limbs that look lithe and strong.

Snoke reminds Rey, strangely, of a spider. And here she is, stepping willingly into his web.

“I have waited so long to meet you, my dear,” Snoke cooes. “I hope my years of planning have been worth the wait.”

Rey’s not quite sure what _that_ means, but she does have a strange feeling that she’s been here before. This place feels almost familiar; she almost recognizes the stones this temple’s build upon.  

Rey steps closer to Snoke without meaning to, already drawn in to his web.

Snoke bursts into Rey’s memories like a hurricane, scattering images every which way, destroying everything in its path. Then he pulls back suddenly, leaving Rey gasping and, just as Kylo had said, craving more. Rey realizes with a sinking feeling that Snoke’s presence isn’t just acid; it’s power, too. It’s a drug that she could easily come to crave.

When Snoke enters Rey’s mind a second time, she lets him. For a long moment she listens to his sweet whispers, promising her invulnerability, immortality. For a long moment, as Snoke lays her memories bare, Rey forgets herself. Then she comes back to herself and hashly pushes Snoke out of her mind.

The Supreme Leader laughs, and it echoes eerily through the empty stone temple.

“Why do you resist me, child? Let me take your burdens from you. Let me see your thoughts, so that I can determine your loyalties.”

Rey feels a jolt of panic, but doesn’t let it show. Instead, she remembers the path she’s chosen.

“I’m loyal to you, and you alone,” Rey says smoothly, meeting Snoke’s piercing gaze. “And I can prove my loyalty another way. I have information for you, about a traitor in your inner circle.”

Snoke stills. “A traitor? Who?”

Rey doesn’t hesitate. “It’s your daughter, Alia Ren. She has taken an apprentice without your knowledge, and she’s gone to great lengths to hide him from you.”

Snoke sits up straighter. “An apprentice you say? Interesting. And how will you prove yourself to me in this manner, young one?”

Rey smiles, her teeth like fangs. “I’ve set a trap to lure them both here. They are both hopeful fools who still believe that I’m one of them, so they’ll come unsuspecting. And that will be the last mistake they ever make. Let me kill them for you, Supreme Leader. Let me become the daughter that Alia never could.”

The Supreme Leader laughs once, low and deep. “You’re an ambitious one, aren’t you? So new to the fold, and already fighting your way up the pecking order.”

“I am, master. Once I set my mind to something, I never give up.”

“Perfect,” Snoke croons, as if Rey were a pet, instead of a person. “You’ve caught my attention. Whether or not your claims are true, I do love a good battle. Let them come. And then you can show me your true colors.”

“Of course, master,” Rey says, and she bows low. “I promise you’ll see my true colors soon.”

*** * * * ***

_Alia Ren’s shuttle - Neutral Space_

Inside Alia’s shuttle, there’s chaos.

Alia’s answering a holocall in the cockpit, several people are arguing about whether or not to retrieve a droid on Jakku, and Rose is tinkering with a panel in the wall that starts to spark, and then smoke.  

Alia pokes her head out from the cockpit, glaring at them all. “You all,” she points at Poe, Paige, and Paige’s mothers. “Quiet down or take it to the back. I can’t think when it’s this loud in here. And you,” Alia points at Rose, “don’t mess with my ship. I like it more than I like you.”

Finn watches as Rose backs away from the sparking panel, hands up in apology, and he wants to laugh in spite of everything, but he doesn’t. Paige and Poe move to the back of the shuttle, arguing in hushed voices now.

Alia catches Finn’s eye, and her voice calms. “Finn, your mother’s asking for you.”

Finn hops to his feet and hurries to the cockpit, his heart in his throat. When he sees his mother’s face, wavy and blue on the holoscreen, he smiles for the first time all day.

Tana’s eyes light up too. “Finn, my love, it’s so good to see you.”

“You too,” Finn murmurs, and sits down beside Alia. “Are you okay? What’s going on?”

“The rebellions are underway,” Tana says, with a note of pride. “They have been since this morning, and we’re gaining ground. Unfortunately, these things take time, and we thought we were going to have more of it. Starkiller Base wasn’t set to fire for another two weeks.”

Something in Finn’s mind clicks into place. “That’s what you’ve been waiting for,” he says. “You’ve been trying to synch the rebellions with the first firing of Starkiller Base?”

Tana nods. “That was the plan, yes, but Starkiller wasn’t scheduled to activate so soon, and it’s caught us off guard. At the moment we’re scrambling to catch up.” Tana sighs and runs a hand over her face. “Alia tells me the weapon hasn’t actually fired yet?”

“Right,” Finn says. “It felt like the planet was about to explode when we were on it, but we think it was still priming. We should have another few hours until Snoke can give the order to fire. We don’t know what will happen when the time comes.”

Tana’s face is grim. “I know it’s a gamble. This plan always was. If the sabotage was successful, Starkiller will self-destruct when it's fired. If it wasn’t, it will take out the entire Hosnian system.”

Finn grimaces, then sets his jaw.

Tana softens. “You look like your father, you know,” she murmurs, reaching out to the screen as if she could stroke Finn’s cheek. “And I know you’re every bit as brave as him.”

Finn swallows a sudden lump in his throat. “I love you,” he says, meeting his mother’s eyes in the wavy blue holoscreen. “Please just - survive this, okay? I don’t want to lose my family again.”

“I love you Finn,” Tana murmurs. “Be safe. And if you can’t be safe, be brave.”

The holo crackles into static, and then silence. They burst into action.

Alia lets their their passengers off at the closest Resistance base, and they all rush off to various missions. Then Alia and Finn are alone in the shuttle again.

Alia looks at Finn for a long moment, assessing him. There’s something that looks like doubt in her eyes.

“Are you ready?” Alia asks at last.

“To face the man who stole my childhood?” Finn asks. “Absolutely.”

Alia sighs. “It’s not Snoke I’m worried about. It’s Rey. Are you ready face her in battle, not knowing where her loyalties lie?”

Finn lets out a humorless laugh. “I’ll never be ready for that, but I have to be. So let’s go.”

Finn programs in the coordinates for Snoke’s temple, and Alia preps the ship for light speed. Then they’re off, hurtling toward Snoke, Kylo Ren, and Rey.

*** * * * ***

_The Supreme Leader’s Temple_

Rey’s meditating with Kylo when she senses Finn and Alia landing on world. Kylo feels it too, and his eyes fly open.

“They’re here.”

Rey hurries back to the throne room, a few steps behind Kylo. While Kylo is distracted with thoughts of the upcoming battle, Rey reaches her awareness outside of herself, until she reaches Finn.

 _Finn,_ Rey whispers into his head. _Thank the Force that you’re here. I have a plan, and I need you to -_

It’s all she has the chance to say before she feels Finn forcefully eject her from his mind.

 _Damn it, Finn!_ Rey curses, but her thoughts can’t reach him now.

Rey comes back to her body, standing with Kylo in front of Snoke’s throne. Snoke’s fingers are steepled and his energy is manic; clearly he’s looking forward to this little show. Snoke expects it to be a slaughter, and that’s what Rey’s counting on. She’s counting on him underestimating her.

Unfortunately, Rey’s also counting on Finn. She’s been working on her plan for days, and without Finn, it will all fall apart. She needs him to trust her. She needs him to _see_ her. To see beyond the way she knows that this will look.

Rey feels a thrill of desperation and pushes it to the side. There’s nothing to do now but prepare for the fight, and pray for a way to get through to Finn.

*** * ***

Finn enter’s Snoke’s temple at Alia’s side, and his mind kicks in to tactical gear.

The space itself is enormous, with wide stone pillars holding up a soaring ceiling. It’s dimly lit, which might be to their advantage. There’s plenty of space behind the enormous stone columns to hide behind, and there are shadows lining nearly every wall. Once the fight starts, he and Alia may be able to use those blind spots to their advantage, sneaking around the temple in stealth.

There’s not much else in the temple that they can use; it’s empty and unadorned, save for an ornate, winding dias that soars at least 20 feet high, and on top of it, an empty golden throne. At the base of the dais stand Kylo and Rey, next to the Supreme Leader himself.

Snoke is nothing like Finn was expecting. Finn was expecting someone shriveled and grey. But no. Snoke is impossibly tall - a head taller than Kylo, at least - and looks self-contained and strangely regal. He has long, thin limbs that will give him the advantage in a hand-to-hand fight, and is wearing, of all things, a white cloak embroidered with gold.

Snoke’s long, elegant fingers are steepled and his grin is feral - and trained right on Finn and Alia. Then he looks down at Rey.

“Well done,” the Supreme Leader says, stroking Rey’s cheek and cooing at her like she’s his favorite pet. “You lead them right to my door, just as you said you would.”

“Thank you, father,” Rey says, looking up at Snoke with a cold smile.

Finn’s stomach turns to lead. All hopes he might have had of Rey still being herself slip away as Finn sees her preening under Snoke’s praise. Calling him _father_.

Snoke continues to coo at Rey. “As a reward, I’ll let you pick which of these worthless traitors to kill, while your brother dispenses of the other. Which will it be, my dear?”

“The stormtrooper,” Rey says without missing a beat. “He is mine.”

In an instant, Rey launches herself at Finn, saber and eyes already blazing gold.

Finn never thought it would come to this. He was prepared to face Kylo Ren again, even to face Snoke. He was prepared to die fighting, if need be. But he’d never expected to see Rey look at him with _hatred_ in her eyes.

Rey lifts her saber over her head as she runs, and Finn’s hands move up automatically to block the strike. Their sabers lock, and so do their eyes.

“Finn,” Rey hisses. “Let me _in._ ”

When Finn had first seen Rey, standing there with Kylo and Snoke, he’d doubled his mental shields against her. Now Rey’s consciousness once again outside his own, trying everything she can to get in.

Finn shakes his head, strengthens his mental shields, and he fights on.

Rey’s new saber is as gold as her eyes, and is double bladed, much like the staff she used to carry. She only has one side ignited now, though, and she seems to be moving strangely slow.

 _Rey’s been training with Kylo Ren for months,_ Finn thinks, as he blocks another blow and deals one back. _Shouldn’t she be faster by now?_

Rey twists away and swings wide. Finn sees the blow coming a mile away, and blocks it easily. Rey reels back and ignites the other end of her saber.

Now there are four blades in play: Finn’s two blue lightsabers, one in each hand, and two golden blades, one shining from each end of Rey’s staff.

Finn brings both his sabers down at once, aiming to disarm Rey - literally. He won’t kill her unless he has to, but he needs to subdue her. And he needs to do it _now_.

Rey thrusts her golden saber staff in front of her, perpendicular to her body. It blocks both of Finn’s lightsabers at once, and leaves Finn and Rey facing each other in a saber lock.

Rey grunts at the effort of keeping her staff in place, glaring up at Finn, and still trying to worm her way into his mind. Finn pushes back with both mind and body, trying to break away and strike again.

Then Finn looks up and meets Rey’s eyes. Her eyes are brown again, and looking at him not with hate, but with a mixture of frustration, desperation and...and _love._

Finn’s caught off guard by the open affection he sees in Rey’s eyes. It’s the way she looked at him when they danced on Kanis, laughing and spinning in the market square. It’s the way she looked at him when she was beneath him, writhing against the sheets of their shared bed.

All at once, Finn realizes something else too - the necklace he wears, that matches Rey’s, has been blazing with heat and warmth for hours. Whatever Rey was doing here with Snoke, she had been thinking of _Finn_ the whole time _._

Then Finn notices something else: Rey’s strikes have been sloppy since they started this fight. She’s a master at hiding her tells, and yet, here and now, she’s maximizing every tell possible. She’s swinging wide and slow, and giving him plenty of time to block each blow.

Which means that Rey’s message - that she’s still herself, and that she still loves him - might just be true after all. The thought gives Finn just enough hope to take a wild chance. Even as he stays in the four-bladed saberlock with Rey, he drops his mental shields. He lets Rey in.

Rey’s presence comes tumbling into his mind, frantic and charged.

_Oh Finn, thank the Force. I know what this looks like, but I would never hurt you. I swear it’s still me. I -_

_I know,_ Finn says, because as Rey’s familiar presence pours into his mind, his heart recognizes hers. Finn knows at once that this is still _his_ Rey. The strong, wild, desert survivor who loves him fiercely, and who would never let him come to harm.

However, Finn’s heart may be sure, but his mind still has questions. Doubts. Tactical concerns. 

Finn catches Rey in another saber lock so that they're face to face. As they strain against each other, putting on a good show for Snoke, Finn quietly asks the question that’s been eating away at him for months:

“Why did you leave?”

“Oh Finn.” Rey’s face crumples, and Finn can _see_ her heart break. Rey says softly, “He was going to kill you. You and I weren't strong enough to defeat him them, and I wasn't sure who's side Alia would pick. Finn, he would have killed you, and it would have been my fault. I couldn’t let that happen.”

Finn lets out a breath he’s been holding for months. Something tight in his chest eases, as he recognizes the truth in her words. Then his tactical mind kicks in again. Finn deflects another blow and says softly, “Why didn’t you come back? It’s been months, Rey. Why did you stay with him?”

Rey gives him a thin, grim smile. “This _is_ me coming back. Kylo held me hostage on a planet full of lava, with no way out. The only way to get off that awful planet was to agree to come here. To let him present me to Snoke.”

“Force,” Finn swears, low and angry, although he’s not sure who he’s angry _at_. He’s mad at Kylo, for using Rey’s capacity for love against her. At himself, for not protecting Rey. At Rey, maybe, for not believing that Finn could defend himself. At Snoke, for being the reason behind it all.

Finn strikes high and Rey blocks, and they continue to fight in beautiful synch.

“Wait,” Finn says. “Why did you lead us here, if you didn’t mean us harm? You lead us straight into a trap!”

Rey actually _grins._ “It _is_ a trap, just not a trap for you. I told Snoke that you were coming, so I could gain his trust. Now that he trusts me, I can use it against him. _We_ can use it against him.” Rey smiles, teeth like razors. “Finn, I have a plan to kill Kylo Ren.”

Finn steps back, breathing hard, and starts to circle Rey. She’s panting too, and watching him carefully as he circles her, sabers out.

Finn doesn’t know _what_ to think, at this point. His mind and body are both on overload, with far too much information to make sense of all at once. So he opens himself to the Force, and asks for help. A memory comes to him at once. 

_It’s a memory of the day in the greenhouse on Starkiller Base, when Finn confessed to Rey that he was spying on her for Alia. Finn had been so afraid that Rey would reject him, once she realized he'd been lying to her. But Rey had just touched his face and said, “I know sometimes there are no good choices. Just the least bad ones.”_

Rey had had faith in him then, without any real reason to. Just because her gut told her that Finn was someone she could trust.

Finn decides to have faith in her now.

“Okay,” Finn says, firmly grounding himself in the present moment. “Tell me your plan.”

“You believe me?” Rey asks. Her face remains twisted in a battle snarl, but her emotions light up with giddy joy. 

Rey tells Finn the plan, flicking him images and instructions through the Force. When she's done, she asks, “Are you ready?”

Finn nods, sharp and sure. “Let’s do this.”

*****

Rey had always hoped that it would come to this. From the moment she decided to fight her captivity, instead of giving in, she’s held on to the hope that it could end here: with her and Finn fighting side by side, in front of Snoke’s throne, ready to strike down Kylo Ren.

Finn told Alia the plan, through their Force bond, and Alia agreed. Which means that all that’s left now to do is strike.

Snoke is high up on his throne again, watching the fight with a mildly amused expression. As if this were nothing more than casual entertainment, and not a fight for life and death. Kylo and Alia are trading blows at the base of the dais.

Rey jerks her head, motioning to Kylo and Alia, and Finn nods, following her lead. Rey continues to duel Finn, still putting on a good show for Kylo and Snoke, but with every blow, every footstep, they edge closer to Kylo Ren.

Rey and Finn share one last glance, a wordless, _I love you, and I hope we make it through so I can remind you just how much._

Then, as one, they strike.

Precisely on cue, Alia catches Kylo in a saber lock - one that she pretends to lose. At the same time, Rey Force-pushes Finn, sending him sailing to the ground behind Kylo. Finn goes down, groaning, and doesn’t move again.

With Finn on the ground and Alia trapped, Rey runs to Kylo’s side.

“Do it, brother,” Rey whispers. “Finish her off.”

And that’s when Finn strikes. He’s behind Kylo, out of his line of sight. In one smooth motion Finn jumps to his feet and cuts off Kylo’s saber arm. It falls to the ground, saber still blazing.

Kylo yells in rage but recovers quickly, summoning his saber back from his own severed hand lying limp on the floor.

Rey realizes, in an instant of dread, that she’d miscalculated. She hadn’t counted on Kylo recovering from a massive blow so quickly. But he’s already lit his saber again, and is turning around to attack Finn.

Time slows, and Rey’s world narrows to a single truth: Finn is in danger, and she has to stop it. She moves faster than she would have thought possible, slipping around Kylo’s body so that  when Kylo pivots to strike out at Finn, he comes face to face with Rey instead.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers. Then she lights one end of her saber and drives it straight through Kylo Ren’s heart.

Kylo gasps and stumbles, and Rey watches his last emotions flick across his face. Surprise, fury, pain. Then Kylo’s eyes go vacant, and Rey feels their Force bond shatter.

Kylo Ren’s lifeless body hits the ground with a dull thud.

Rey stands over it for a moment, emotions swirling as the choking cloud of Kylo’s presence recedes from her mind. She feels a maddening mix of victory and grief, joy and pain.

She also feels free. Suddenly, gloriously free in her own mind, without the poisonous presence of Kylo Ren. Well, Snoke’s still there, and his presence still feels like an acid burn. But if all goes to plan, she’ll be rid of his stench too, soon enough.

Rey spits on Kylo’s limp body and says, voice hard, “I’m only sorry that I didn’t avenge my brother sooner.”

“Rey.”

Her name on Finn’s lips is a prayer, softly spoken, and she runs to him, launching herself into his arms. Her world slows to nothing but _Finn Finn Finn_ , and his presence is water in the desert, balm to her soul.

*

This time when Rey runs to Finn, her eyes are brown and full of boundless love. Finn catches her with an "oof" and holds her tight, melting into the moment. With Rey in his arms again, at last, Finn feels like he can finally breathe.

Then Finn looks up, and his stomach turns cold. The Supreme Leader is gliding down from his high throne with golden murder in his eyes.

Snoke had allowed the fight, at the beginning, because he assumed that Kylo and Rey would easily win. Now, though, Kylo is gone and Rey is clearly no longer his.

Snoke lets out a growl as he lands on the ground. "You killed my apprentice!" he hisses at Finn and Rey. "And now you will pay." Snoke's energy coils around him like invisible, manic snakes, filling the temple, and Finn knows what will happen next before it does.

Snoke raises his hands to shoot Force lightning, and Finn reacts just in time. He pushes Rey to the floor and follows her down. Snoke’s blue Force lightning sails over their heads, missing them by a hair. It crashes into a giant stone column right behind Finn and Rey - the column that’s holding up the ceiling directly above their heads.

It happens fast. The column explodes at the touch of the lightning, taking half of the ceiling down with it. Chunks of stone and exploding debris plummet toward Finn and Rey, and with so much of the temple collapsing around them, there’s no way they can get to safety in time.

Finn’s mind freezes, but Rey’s on it. She raises her hands to the ceiling, and pushes with the Force, and all of her wild strength. The falling boulders stop, suspended inches above them, and Rey cries out with the strain of holding them up.

Finn reacts at once. He lifts his hands as well, and together they heave another great push. Together, they shove the rocks and rubble away from them, and it lands in a great heap between them and Snoke.

The pile of rubble creates a barrier twice Finn’s height, and gives them a brief moment of respite.

Finn immediately checks in with Rey. She’s breathing hard and her face is pale and clammy. A few of the smaller rocks made it through her Force hold, and now Rey has a long jagged gash across one cheek, and her right arm is bent at an unnatural angle. She looks entirely drained, like a drooping flower.

“Force,” Finn swears. “Are you okay?”

“Aside from the fact that I just caught the _ceiling_?” Rey gives him a pained smile. “I’m good. It’s gonna take me a minute to get my strength back, though.”

Finn helps Rey sit up, and cups her face gently in his hands. The wound on her cheek isn’t bleeding badly, and he doesn’t see any injuries other than her arm. Finn exhales in relief, and kisses her forehead.

“You’re alright,” Finn says, and he’s not sure who he’s reassuring. “You’re alright.”

Rey meets his eyes with tenderness and love, such a stark contrast to the harsh wreckage of battle all around them. She smiles at him, and it feels so good, so _right_ , to be next to a smiling Rey again. Finn breathes in this lovely, frozen moment, wrapping himself in the love that he feels.

Then another _crack_ of Force lightning reverberates through the stone temple, and, somewhere beyond the rubble, Alia lets out a cry of pain.

 _Are you okay?_ Finn sends to Alia.

 _I’ve been better._ Alia says. _Get your ass out here before he fries mine._

 _On it,_ Finn sends.

“Stay here and rest,” Finn says to Rey. “We’ll keep Snoke busy until you’re ready to rejoin the fight.”

Finn kisses Rey’s forehead, then leaps over the rubble in a single Force-jump, ready to fight by Alia’s side.

*

Alia Ren is circling the Supreme Leader. She’s circling the man who stole her from her family and raised her as assassin, instead of as a child. Which is to say that she’s circling the man she hates most in the galaxy.

Snoke raises his long, slim white fingers, and Alia deflects his own Force lightning back at him with her sabers. She misses, sending the lightning sailing into a wall instead. The wall cracks and splinters dangerously, but holds.

Snoke suddenly takes out two sabers of his own, and Alia knows she’s well and truly fucked. Because the one thing she could never do was beat Snoke in hand to hand combat like this.

 _Finn, where are you?_ Alia calls out again, through their Force bond.

“I’m right here,” Finn says out loud. He lands beside her and pulls out his sabers, and suddenly Alia feels like she’s on even ground again.

The next time Snoke attacks, she’s ready for it.

*

Finn and Alia move in easy synch. They form a quick rhythm, one of them distracting Snoke while the other circles and looks for an opening to strike.

As it often does in battle, time slows for Finn. He opens himself to the Force, to this moment and no other. He listens to the rhythm that runs through the entire universe, like a heartbeat. Then he knows what to do.

The next time Snoke strikes at Alia, Finn darts in from behind and lands a single hard jab to Snoke’s shoulder.

Snoke whips around in fury, striking out blindly, but Finn’s already safely out of the way. Alia meets Finn’s eye and sends him images, scraps of a plan through the Force. For a moment, Finn feels confident. He feels sure that they can win.  

Then Snoke changes tactics. Without warning Snoke twists to face Alia. He drops his lightsaber, shoots out a quick blast of Force lightning, and summons the dropped saber back to his hand before it even hits the floor.

The lightning hits Alia square in the chest, sending her sailing across the room and into the shadows. She hits the wall with a sickening crunch, lets out a long moan of pain, and then falls silent.

Finn briefly panics. He can feel, through their bond, that Alia’s still alive, but she’s unconscious, and he has no idea when, or if, she’ll rejoin the fight. Rey’s still injured and recovering, safely hidden behind the wall of rubble. Which means that Finn’s standing alone against the leader of the galaxy, with nothing but his sabers and his wits.

Finn takes a low battle stance and tightens his grip on his blue sabers, but Snoke makes no move to attack. Instead he circles Finn, studying him for the first time.

“So you’re Alia’s apprentice, then?” Snoke asks as he circles. “Trained by the _second_ best?”

Finn doesn't take the bait. Doesn’t respond. He keeps circling Snoke, looking for another chance to strike.

“Alia must care very little for you, if she left you to face my wrath alone,” Snoke taunts with a sneer. “And where is your friend Rey? Surely, if she cared for you, she’d be here now, fighting by your side?”  

Finn’s jaw ticks. He knows why Rey isn’t here in this moment: she’s injured and recovering. But it still stings that she left him alone, months ago, on Starkiller Base. Snoke’s question burns, and Finn lets it.

For the first time in months, Finn lets himself feel how truly afraid he’s been. How confused. How alone. Then he packages those emotions, just like Alia taught him, and turns them into strength.

With a rush of renewed energy, Finn advances on Snoke. He strikes fast and hard, unrelenting, until he lands a sharp jab right through the Supreme Leader’s gut. Finn twists his saber, flicking his wrist upwards toward Snoke’s heart, hoping to turn this into a fatal blow.

Unfortunately, Finn overreached to land the strike, which leaves his right arm unprotected, and unfortunately, Snoke’s reflexes are still lightning fast.

Snoke lets out a roar of pain and rage, and slices Finn’s hand cleanly off.

Finn yells and jumps back, using the Force to propel himself safely far away from Snoke. Snoke drops one saber and holds his wounded side, but he’s still on his feet. And he’s _laughing_. His laughter is eerie, echoing and harsh.

“You think you could beat me, foolish child?” Snoke sneers at Finn. “On your own, no less? Where are your supposed allies? Your teacher who lead you here, to your death, and the girl you think you _love_ , who you so foolishly came to save?”

Finn stands alone, clutching his arm as his nerves scream in pain, and for the first time, Snoke makes it past his mental shields. Finn feels Snoke’s presence in his head, thick and choking. He feels a wave of hopelessness so strong he nearly drowns in it, and for an endless moment, Finn believes Snoke’s lies. For an endless moment, Finn believes Snoke’s whispers, that he is unloved, unworthy, and entirely alone.

Then Finn feels Alia wake, and senses Rey stirring somewhere in the shadows, and remembers that he’s not alone. He has a team, here and now. He has an entire family waiting for him back on Artorias. And his family’s not only waiting for him - they’re fighting for him too.

Just like the entire galaxy is fighting against Snoke.

Finn ignores the pain coursing through his body, and Snoke’s presence clouding his brain. He stands as straight as he can, and says loudly, “I do love Rey. I love a great many people. And today, I fight for them all. Because they’re abandoning you, you see. Family by family, planet by planet. They’re all turning against you right now.

“The galaxy is no longer yours, Supreme Leader. It is ours.”

Finn lets the truth of his words show on his face, and Snoke falters. Without taking his eyes off Finn, Snoke speaks into the most ornate commlink Finn’s ever seen, in a language that Finn doesn’t understand.

Finn watches in triumph as the Supreme Leader’s face falls.

 _It’s working,_ Finn thinks, feeling relief and renewed hope. _The rebellions are draining Snoke’s power, just like we’d hoped._

Snoke looks unnerved for only a moment. Then he schools his face, and Finn wants to laugh. Finn _knows_ that practiced look of false composure. It’s the same look that Alia wears, whenever she’s bothered by something but doesn’t want to show it.

 _It’s getting to him,_ Finn thinks in awe. _Not only are the occupied planets rising up, but it’s_ working _._

“No matter,” Snoke says aloud, waving his hand like Alia often does. “What are a few planets to me? I’m the Supreme Leader of the galaxy, foolish child. A handful of planets mean nothing to me.”

“What about your own planet?” Finn taunts casually. “What if the same rebels who are defying you now rose up to target Starkiller Base?”

Finn’s never felt so strong, or so sure of anything in his life. The Force has been guiding him all day, to Starkiller Base, to Poe, to this moment. Finn has trusted in the Force all day, and he’s sure that it won’t fail him now.

Fury flashes in the Supreme Leader’s eyes. “General!” Snoke shouts into his comm. “Fire the weapon. Aim for the Republic - they’re rising up against us today.”

A voice crackles through the static. “Yes, sir! The weapon is primed and ready. Firing in three, two, one...”

Finn feels a billion voices cry out, and then fall silent, all at once.

At the same time, Snoke gasps and steps back. He drops his remaining saber and clutches his chest, and Finn knows that Starkiller Base has just been destroyed. Which means they now have a real chance to defeat Snoke, once and for all.

Finn calls out to Rey, through the Force, and she joins him, scurrying over the rubble to stand at his side.

Finn has an idea, and he flicks the thought at Rey. It's an image of the two of them, side by side with hands raised. Together, they're using the Force to tear down everything they can reach: pillars, ceiling tiles, even Snoke’s golden throne.

Rey’s face still looks wan, her color drained. But still, she grins. “Let’s do this.”

Finn raises his good arm, and Rey raises both of hers. Together they harness the Force, aim all of their energy at Snoke’s grand throne, and _pull_.

Snoke golden throne - along with its tall stone dais - teeters dangerously for a moment. Then they both fall, directly on top of Snoke. The dais shatters into a thousand pieces on impact and Snoke groans, trapped under the rubble.

The ceiling comes next. Rey can shoot Force lightning, thanks to her long months training under Kylo, and she uses it now.

Just like Snoke did at the beginning of the fight, Rey aims at the columns behind Snoke. The columns explode, bringing huge swaths of the ceiling down with them - directly onto Snoke.  

Snoke reaches up to ward off the falling debris, and he manages to redirect the worst of it. But his power is clearly drained, and he’s not strong enough to fight his way out of the rubble he’s already stuck underneath.

Snoke sits up with a great effort, trapped and wheezing and bleeding. For the first time, he looks like what he is: a pitiful old man who’s _nothing_ without the power he’s stolen from others. The man in front of Finn and Rey now isn’t a Supreme Leader with a galaxy at his feet. This is Snoke, mortal and alone.

In a last ditch effort, Snoke reaches out a shaking hand to summon his fallen lightsabers. They fly across the room instead, away from him, into the shadows. Moments later Alia emerges, holding Snoke’s sabers in front of her like trophies.

Alia vaults over the high rubble, and leaps lightly over Snoke’s fallen throne. She lands in front of the man himself, still cowering, trapped, on the ground. She lights both sabers and points one at Snoke’s heart, and the other at his throat.

Snoke goes completely still.

“Please,” Snoke says, holding out his hands slowly. “Have mercy, my child.”

Alia snarls, teeth bared, and Finn actually takes a step back at the sight. Beside him, Rey does the same. They stand side by side, while they watch the scene unfold.

“Mercy?” Alia says, and it’s something between a snarl and a scream. “You dare to ask me for _mercy_ , old man?”

“Alia,” Snoke says, in a simpering tone. “I -”

“Stop,” Alia says flatly. “It’s our turn to talk.”

With her saber still poised just above Snoke’s heart, Alia nods to Finn and Rey, then jerks her head toward Snoke. “Do you want to get anything off your chest, before we wipe this worm from the galaxy?”

“Please,” Snoke whispers again, but they all ignore him.

Rey steps forward, shaking, because she suddenly realizes two things: first, she realizes why this temple felt so familiar when she arrived. She’s been here before, years ago, when she was taken from her home and held hostage underneath these very same stones. It was Snoke that kidnapped her and Ben when they were just children. Snoke that broke her family.

The second thing Rey realizes is that she now has the chance to exact vengeance on the man who stole her parents from her. Her childhood. Her brother. For a moment, Rey knows nothing but rage. Then she puts it to use.

Rey lets go of Finn’s hand, and steps toward Snoke.

“Four thousand, one hundred and seven,” Rey says, voice steel. “That’s the number of days you abandoned me in a desert to survive on my own. That’s the number of days I went without enough food and water. The number of days I was terrified and alone, as a _child_.”

Rey lets out a small sob and steps back, reaching for Finn’s good hand again.

Alia gives Rey a long, unreadable look. Then she looks at Snoke and says, “Six hundred and ninety two. That’s the number of people I killed on your command, _Supreme Leader,_ while I was still a child. I take responsibility for my actions as an adult. I always have. But I want you to know, before you die, that you tore apart a child’s soul, six hundred and ninety two times.”

“Alia,” Snoke says again, but he trails off. Even _he_ can’t find a rebuttal to an accusation like that.

Alia turns to Finn next, and Finn knows this is his moment. He’s spent the last three months researching, planning, and envisioning this. He knows exactly what to say.

In a quiet, dangerous voice, Finn says, “Fifty billion, forty three million, four thousand and two. That’s the number of children you stole from their homes, to be raised as soldiers in your army. That’s the number of families you tore apart, just to wage your pointless war.”

Anger is rising in Finn’s chest, but he’s not done. “Thirty trillion. That’s the number of civilians you enslaved on occupied planets, until today. Because today, every planet you controlled has overthrown your army. Today, all of those slaves are free. Haven’t you wondered why you’re so weak, old man? Why three people were able to reduce you to cowering?”

“I -” Snoke starts.

“I’ll tell you why,” Finn interrupts. “It’s because it’s not just the three of us. It’s trillions of people, all across the galaxy, rising up to rid their planets of your armies, all at once. It’s the entire galaxy taking back it’s power, and reducing you to this.”

Finn gets louder, more confident now. “Seventeen billion. That’s the number of souls who live in the Hosnian system. The system you would have destroyed today, if Starkiller Base had fired successfully.” Finn looks at Rey and Alia, pride blooming in his chest. “That’s the number of lives we helped save.”

Finn stops, and revels in the righteous anger flowing through him. Ever since he agreed to this fight, he’s been waiting for this moment. The chance to rid the galaxy of Snoke, once and for all.

But there’s one more thing he has to say, and he wants to see Snoke’s eyes when he says it.

Finn leans down and says, “2187. That’s the number that you gave me, instead of a name. You tried to take my family, my mind, my free will. But you failed, _Supreme Leader_. Just as you failed to rule the galaxy. The galaxy that’s turning on you now.”

Snoke opens his mouth for one last plea, but Finn cuts him off. “I have one more number for you, old man.”

Finn glances at Alia and Rey. They both have their sabers out, coiled and ready to strike.

Finn says, “Three. That’s the number of stolen children in front of you now. You took us from our families, and you tried to break us, but we survived. We are your reckoning.”

Finn, Rey, and Alia strike as one.

Finn drives his saber into Snoke’s chest and twists, carving a jagged hole into his heart. Alia cuts off both Snoke’s hands - a fitting and poetic end. And Rey - Rey places her saber at the crown of Snoke’s head and slowly slices down.

The smell of burning flesh fills the temple as Rey works her saber slowly, deliberately from the crown of Snoke’s head, through his brain and throat and chest, all the way down until his intestines are spilling out onto the cold stone floor.  

Finn watches Rey in fear and awe as she cleaves the former Supreme Leader of the galaxy in two. Rey finally extinguishes her saber, satisfied with her work, and looks over at Finn, eyes blazing for a moment in triumph.

Then Rey collapses to the cold stone floor.

*

Finn manages not to panic, but just barely. He moves on instinct, jumping toward Rey and catching her to cushion her fall.

 _She has to be alright,_ Finn thinks, a little frantic. _She has to be. I only just got her back._

Finn checks for a pulse and finds one, then checks to make sure Rey’s breathing normally. She is, and he exhales. He searches her body with gentle hands, looking for any place that she might have been struck, but he doesn’t see anything. Until he opens her armor, and sees swelling in her lower abdomen.

 _Shit._ Finn thinks. _Internal bleeding._

Finn picks Rey up and turns, and that’s when he catches sight of Alia. She’s seated on a chunk of rubble, near Snoke’s fallen form, looking like she’s about to faint too.

“Are you okay?” Finn asks.

Alia waves a hand. “I just killed someone I shared an active Force bond with and survived, so all things considered, I’m excellent.”

“Alia -”

“I’m fine, Finn. Go take care of Rey. I think Doctor Noble’s on planet somewhere. I don’t know what the story is there, but I sensed her presence when we landed.”

Finn reaches out with his flagging strength, and senses it too. Doctor Noble’s Force signature is a like a steady, soothing drum beat, Finn recognizes it from years spent in her care. He follows it now, and it takes him to _Kylo Ren’s shuttle,_ of all places.

Finn carries Rey inside, and finds the doctor there, pacing as she waits. She rushes to Finn and looks Rey over with worried eyes. “What happened?”

“We got caught under some rubble,” Finn says, “And we took a hard fall. Now her abdomen is distended and I'm worried about internal bleeding.”

The doctor nods once, sharp. “Come with me.”

Finn follows her to the ship’s sleeping quarters and lays Rey down on the bed. The doctor motions for him to move aside, saying, “let me see her.”

When Finn doesn't move, the doctor huffs out a breath. “Finn, I know you care for her, but I've been taking care of her for the past three months, and I've kept her alive so far. Step aside and let me work!”

Finn doesn’t want to leave Rey’s side, but he’s can feel Doctor Noble’s determination to save Rey, flowing around them in the Force. He can also feel his own injures begin to throb again, now that the rush of the moment has passed.

Finn kisses Rey’s temple and steps aside to let the doctor do her job.

*

While he waits, Finn finds the emergency med kit. He gives himself a quick anesthetic shot in his injured arm, to numb the pain. Then he returns to the temple.

The temple looks strangely peaceful now, with bright morning sunlight streaming in through the ruined ceiling, illuminating the wreckage of their fight. Alia is right where he left her, sitting in the rubble with her head in her hands, shaking a little.

When Alia looks up, Finn sees tear streaks running down her face. For the first time since he’s met her, Alia doesn’t school her expression. Instead, she deadpans, “If you tell anyone you saw me cry, I’ll cut off your nonessential toes.”

Finn just grins, and sits down beside her. He knows Alia too well by now to be bothered by her threats, and honestly, he’s just so deliriously happy to be alive right now, and _free_ , that nothing could bring him down.

Well, nothing except the fact that Rey’s still unconscious, but there’s nothing he can do about that now. So he focuses instead on what he can do: treat his and Alia’s wounds.  

Finn opens the medkit with one hand and digs for bacta, intending to offer it to Alia for the various bruises and cuts on her skin. But Alia stops him with a gentle hand and says softly, “Let me see your arm.”

Finn holds out his right arm, now missing a hand.

Alia grunts and takes the medkit from Finn. She pulls out a bottle of disinfectant and pours it over Finn’s arm without warning. He hisses, but the anesthetic is already kicking in, lessening the pain.

Alia fishes out some small metal tools from the medkit and they sit in silence for long minutes, while she methodically cleans debris from Finn’s charred flesh. 

"So," Finn says. "What are you going to do, now that Snoke's gone?" 

Alia stops working for a long moment, staring out into the wreckage of the temple. "You're the only person I'd admit this to, but I have no idea. I've spent my entire life I've either serving Snoke, or trying to escape from him. Now I can go _anywhere,_ and I don't know where to begin." 

"You'd be welcome on Artorias," Finn says casually. "I hear that I'm a big deal around there, so I could probably find you a place to stay."

Alia flashes him a sideways smile. "You did promise to make me a duchess if you turned out to be long-lost royalty. Doesn't a title like that come with land?" 

Finn grins. "Alia, you helped me escape the First Order and find my way home. I'm pretty sure my mother would give you the _moon_ if you asked for it. Seriously, though, if you want to come visit or stay, you're always welcome."

Alia ducks her head and goes back to work. "Not everyone will take such a kind view of me though, you know. I'm a war criminal in half the galaxy's eyes." 

Finn doesn't deny it. He just hums, thinking. "You could always show up to the Senate carrying Snoke's head. That ought to warrant you a pardon, at least."

Alia laughs out loud, sharp and sudden. "That's not a half bad idea." She shakes her head and finishes her work, then wraps Finn’s arm in clean gauze.

“It’s a good thing that lightsabers cauterize wounds so well,” Alia says. “This was a clean cut. Once it heals, you’ll be able to get a prosthetic, and you should regain full mobility.”

Finn nods. His mind is too tired to properly process her words right now, so he just says, “Thank you.” He has the vague notion that Alia will probably disappear for awhile after this, before she's ready to deal with politics and pardons and face the galaxy, so Finn adds, “For everything.”

*

Rey’s still not awake when Finn returns, so he comms his mother to tell her the news.

“Finn!” Tana says, letting out a sob of relief when she sees her son. “Are you alright? What happened? Is that rat bastard gone?”

“He is,” Finn says, and it feels like a dream. “Snoke’s dead. How are you? What happened on Artorias?”

Tana beams. “Artorias is ours once again, and you can finally come home.”  

Finn is relieved, but still worried too. Tana must see the strain in his face because she asks softly, “What’s wrong?”

“It’s Rey,” Finn murmurs. “I don’t know what’s wrong with her, but she passed out after the fight, she hasn’t woken up.”

Tana is quiet, studying him. She says softly, “You love her, don’t you?  It shows on your face.”

“I do,” Finn says at once. “I think you’d like her too.”

“I’m sure I will,” Tana says. “I know that you feel uncertain right now, Finn, but the Force has made so many things come together today, in the best of ways. So I’ll say a prayer for Rey too.”

“Thank you,” Finn says, and there’s warmth in his heart. His mother doesn’t even know Rey, and already she’s offering to pray for her. Finn reaches a hand to the holoscreen, as if he could touch his mother there. “I love you, and I can’t wait to see you soon.”

* * *

Rey wakes in a bed with the doctor sitting next to her, running a beeping medical device over her belly.

Her first thought is for her child, and she sits up at once. “Doctor Noble, is she alright?”

“She’s fine,” the doctor murmurs. “And so are you. Well, you managed to break another limb since I saw you last, and the cut on your face will likely scar. But other than that, you should be fine with time and treatment.”

“Thank the Force,” Rey whispers. Then she sees Finn, rushing toward her and sweeping her up in his arms. She hugs him as tightly as she can, and it feels like the first breath after drowning.

“Finn,” Rey says, into his hair, and Finn’s murmuring her name over and over too, touching and stroking every part of her he can reach.

“Are you okay?” Rey asks, when they finally pull apart. She looks Finn over quickly, and aside from the fact that he’s missing a _hand,_ he doesn't appear seriously injured.

Finn kisses her forehead. “I'm with you, my love. I couldn't be better.”

“I missed you,” Rey says, as the tears start to flow.

“Every moment,” Finn finishes.

Rey pulls him into a bruising kiss and Finn returns it, holding her gently, like she’s the most precious thing in the world. Finn guides her to lay back down on the bed and leans over her carefully, and Rey’s entire body lights up with heat and desire.

Then the doctor calls out from the hallway, “No sex until you’re both healed!” and Finn and Rey dissolve into a fit of laughter that feels like it will never stop.

*

In the months to come, Rey will tell Finn that she’s carrying his child. She’ll tell Finn how she braved Kylo Ren. She’ll tell him that everything she did - even when it looked like a betrayal - was to keep her new family safe.

She’ll ask for Finn’s stories too. She’ll get to know the new person he’s grown into while they’ve been apart, and figure out how they fit together now.

Finn looks so much different. So much happier. And Rey wants to get to know every bit of him again. But for now, Rey’s too tired to think about what comes next. So she hugs Finn tightly and kisses him deeply.

In return, Finn holds her tighter than she's ever been held, and even though she's drained and exhausted, in this moment Rey feels whole. Loved. Safe.

Finn’s warm hand - scarred now, slightly rough - runs up and down Rey’s arm, making her shiver in delight. She didn’t realize, until now, how tightly she’d been holding her breath since she’d left Finn behind, all those months ago. Now, in Finn’s arms, with Snoke and Kylo gone forever, Rey exhales. And she realizes, all at once, three beautiful truths:

They survived.

They are together.

They are free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a WRAP.
> 
> There will be an epilogue, eventually, full of the requisite angst, fluff, and smut, along with family reunions and big reveals (Rey still has some big news to tell Finn after all.) Finn and Rey have been through hell and back, and they're gonna get their well deserved rest, but right now your writer needs to rest after finishing this literal novel of a fic.
> 
>  ~~Also listen I'm telling you right now that Alia shows up to Resistance headquarters with Snoke’s severed head in one hand, and Kylo’s in the other, and is immediately pardoned for her past crimes. She goes off to become a vigilante, to make sure no one else is out there turning children into soldiers, like she was.~~
> 
> Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who's stuck with me, and this story. I've grown and learned so much, and I can't thank you enough for your endless support. ~~Also please comment on this chapter because I worked on it for twelve straight hours yesterday alone dear god please comment.~~
> 
> A big thanks especially to my betas [classic-vision](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Classic_Vision/pseuds/Classic_Vision) and [conn8d](https://archiveofourown.org/users/conn8d/pseuds/conn8d). You both challenged me, inspired me, and helped make this story what it is.
> 
> It’s been a RIDE, babes. Thanks again, and I love you all!


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